"All change, even the most longed for,have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life before we can enter another."
~Anatole France~
"Oh did you hear?" Tracy a two year medical student questioned excitedly.
"HN?" I responded my eyes glued to the new born in my arms. I had been fighting with him for an hour attempting to entice him into eating. His dark green eyes glared at me defiantly, for a moment before letting out a high pitched scream. I grimaced in annoyance.
"Okay you know that big, huge, mammoth fire spitting thing that was boring a hole into the earth?" I glanced at her in disbelief. Her light grey skin and unnaturally bright blue eyes, were only amplified by her blue black hair. It tumbled down her back in a tidy wave. Personally I thought that she spent to much time on her looks but I wasn't about to pick a fight.
"Yes Tracy, I remember the large drill!" I stated curtly, as my eyes were once again drawn to the squirming bundle in my hands. The boy's upset squeal was sharp, and my heart went out to him. His mother had died in the attack and his father was in critical condition. According to the rumor mill the dad was never going to be able to walk again. But I have learned that rumors normally are not the truth.
"Well," Tracy continued, "The ship-" I stopped listening because the child was fighting me tooth and nail. Squirming this way and that, spitting and gurgling up the small amount of milk that I had squirted into his mouth. He was slowly turning red as the scream bubbled up from within his lungs. I sighed disappointedly as I removed the bottle from his mouth.
"Okay, Mr. here is how it is going to go. We are going to take a quick break and then you are going to eat this ENTIRE bottle got it?" I questioned as I cradled the child, a small, indulgent grin tugging at the edges of my lips. I forced it back knowing that it would only encourage the little rascal.
"And then, the daring, handsome Captain-" Tracy was still going on and on about how the rescue of earth had supposedly gone. I stood from where I had been rocking the child and walked carefully to the door. I turned and opened it with my hip, noticing absentmindedly that Tracy was not following. So as the door swung shut, her ramblings were silenced.
"Mr. I can only take so much of that girl." I explained in a weary voice. The child was already asleep exhausted from our struggle. As I lay him down, careful not to wake him and to keep the blankets firm around him, I pondered what his fate would be. No matter what, it would take a near miracle for him to turn out even slightly normal, the death of a parent guaranteed that nothing would be simple. I stroked his fuzzy head gently before, straightening and then striding out of the newborn room. I walked briskly, descending the stairs instead of taking the ever popular elevator, I continued to the locker room and changed as quickly as possible, the late hour hurrying me on. While I was tugging my bag out of the locker I noticed the clock. It read 1:03 AM, I shook my head tiredly before exiting the room. The receptionist nodded to me as I started to walk out of the building.
"Good luck, honey!" She called, her dark chocolate eyes filled with sincerity.
"Thank you Scarlet!" I called back.
"You be carefully out there." She warned as I opened the door.
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."
"I know that, it's always the other idiot's fault. I just don't want you caught in the crossfire!" She explained. I waved at her as I closed the door and walked to my car.
There was not a snowballs chance in hell that I was going to change my mind and stay, I had remained grounded for far to long already. I could feel the now constant itching of restlessness building. Starting the engine, and pulling out of the nearly deserted parking lot I speed home, egger for sleep.
My alarm clock's screaming, startled me from my oh, so peaceful dream about flying across shining blue, oceans.
I groaned, loudly.
Before begrudgingly rolling over and glaring at the screaming device. For a moment, as I stared at the feelingless red numbers, and seriously considered throwing something at it, something heavy, and deadly. I glanced around my bed for an item that fit the description, and then sighed, defeated. There was not anything suitable, another day I had lost to the diabolical clock. I stumbled out of bed through a doorway and into the kitchen. My father was siting at the stainless steel table reading the news, while my mother was standing at the sink rising out her bowl. Bright light was flooding the warm room, squinting in response I continued to stumble onward.
"Good morning sunshine," My mother called, as she glanced at me from the corner of her eye.
"It's morning, therefore there is nothing good about it!" I grumbled as i shuffled over to the pantry.
"Well if you didn't work so late you would not feel so bad in the morning." She admonished sharply, somehow she had changed from being just as much of an night owl as I was, to this disgustingly cheerful, ray of evil sunlight.
"Coffee?"
"OH yes, please," Today would not be possible without the one caffeinated drink that my mother allowed before noon. Coffee. My father laughed and I looked at him. His greying dark hair was thinning ever so slightly, yet his laughing brown eyes were still sharp, and as alert as ever. He was clad in his favorite green bathrobe, with the matching slippers. I shook my head ever so slightly before returning to my search for a food high in sugar.
"Mom, where are the marsh mellow maties?" I questioned, my hand disappeared into the pantry.
"That nasty sugary junk?" My mother question innocently. I paused in my search and turned to stare at her, hoping that she hadn't dared to do what I was dreading.
"Yes,"
"Well, I threw it away of course."
"MOTHER! how could you? That was my cereal! I bought it, and I was eating it." I exclaimed, my mother sighed and threw me a look that stated in plain words; you better not start or else. Grumbling, profusely under my breathe I grabbed the only other cereal available. Still growling I stalked over to the fridge, snatched the milk and flopped down into a chair. I violent tugged the box open as my mother placed a bowl in front of me, she then placed a tall cup of coffee next to it. I dumped the milk and cereal into the bowl and stirred. After the first two or three bites I learned that once again my parents had no taste buds left. I quickly finished the, I shudder to call it, food. I took the coffee with me as I left to dress.
"That girl, comes from you side of the family."
"Ha, it take two to make a child!"
"Not necessarily!" My mother and father chuckled, and I groaned at their attempt at humor. But then again it was better than over hearing them talk about their sex lives!
"I can hear you!" I yelled over my shoulder in an attempt to stop the rather alarming conversation. Their laughter was the only response I received, slamming the door shut, and rifling through my dresser searching for the stupid uniform, for the stupid ceremony that I did not even know that it was honoring, only that I had to be there.
I stood in my crisp red uniform and watched as the others hurried to their places. The groups clearly defined, The mechanics with the mechanics, the pilot crew huddled together and the rest formed their own mini click's. I smirked knowing that in a week or so most of these people would not even acknowledge the other clicker's presence other than as another cadet. I was standing alone in the line that was designated for officers. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Captain Pike enter, or rather being wheeled in.
I had heard that he had been wounded will on the Enterprises maiden voyage. I was still nostalgic about the Enterprises, she was a beauty of a ship. I sighed gently as I pictured it in my mind. Sleek lines, fresh paint, gleaming engines, the new ship smell that would stay for a week at the most, it was an invigorating thought. I was broken from my reverie by the loud shuffling of feet. I opened my eyes and saw that the others had gathered around me. A man entered the room and walked to the chairmans area. He began speaking. Unfortunately I definitely had not had enough coffee that morning. So I missed much of what he was said as I fought to keep my eyes open. Then a tall brunette disentangled from the crowd and walked to the front. I was awake in an instant.
NO! I watched as the chairman placed a pin onto the, the, the, boys chest! He turned and grinned. I almost screamed.
How could this happen?!? this boy was no older than I, he was not qualified for this. He turned and relieved the Captain. Horror over took me. This wasn't happening it had to be a dream, a terrible and messed up dream, but a dream, it just had to be. There could not be anyway that Captain Pike would be replaced! Pike was a great captain who was known through out much of the galaxy. Star fleet could not replace him, it just was not possible.
The crowd erupted in cheers, clapping and shouting joyously. Stunned I stared at them, did they not understand that there lives were being placed in that inexperienced child's hands? Obviously not. I had the nearly over powering urge to spit, maybe that would clear the disgust from my mouth. Movement in the corner of my eye made me turn and I watched as the group, walked away, leaving a still crazed, and rowdy crowd. As soon as the doors shut behind them, the volume hit the roof, if it had been loud before it was twice that now. Laughter intermingled, everyone was talking, screaming, moving all at once and the females high piercing giggles cutting through the males deep jeering. Cradling my head in my hands I stood, exhaustion threatening to over come me.
A loud slicing whistle, cut through the noise and the mass shuffled towards the exit. I could not move, glued in place. Shocking coming in waves, each one more in more instance, forcing out the noise and stimuli caused by the idiots pushing past me.
The silence is what finally made me realize that I was alone, blinking rapidly, coming back to reality. I turned and stumbled out of the empty auditorium. I could not serve under that man, I would not. All of my thoughts revolved around this as I walked despondently towards the admissions building. I would demand a transfer, even if it meant no longer being on board the Enterprise, the ship I had help, design, created and build. I would surrender that privilege, that right if only to be under Commander Pike, that was extent that my respect ran for the man. With this thought in my I forced myself into a run. Leaping down the steps, nearly tripping twice, stairs never really liked me to being with, I finally made it to the building.
Not caring to stop I crashed into the door and franticly pulled. It was locked. Oh, of all days to choose to close the office. I screamed in frustration, a gaggle of girls stared at me before hurrying off. I stomped my foot, it was childish I'll admit but dammit I did not want to be stuck on a ship of any size with that arrogant bastard. I was not sure when he had become arrogant, only that he was that and so much more. I clenched my eyes shut willing this just to be a stupid nightmare. A cool hand appear on my shoulder, startling me from my willing this away. My eyes fluttered open, Spock was standing before me.
"He deserves your respect if nothing else." He stated in his strange stiff way. I bit my lip from saying something I would certainly regret latter.
"Spock, you were the first officer. How is it that He is now Captain?" I demanded, he shook his head.
"That is a long tale. But you need to be logical, the board would not place just anyone as Captain." I glared at him for a moment, before shrugging his hand off. I glanced at the building before looking at him.
"Spock, I am operating on five hours of sleep. I'm not in the mood for being logical!" I explained hoarsely, honestly. He nodded, his dark eyes filled with a strange almost emotion.
"If I am not mistaken you served under Captain Pike, for almost five years, yes?" He questioned, I frowned futilely attempting to understand the importance of his question.
"Yes, Captain Pike was actually the first man I served under. The first person to acknowledge me as a person and not a freak." I clarified, life as a genius is not all that it is cracked up to be. Few, sympathies and even fewer understand, alone, lonely, and always bullied, yet until that fatefully day, when everything changed, a life was lost and yet so much was gained.
"It is understandable for you to be upset about Captain Pike's replacement, but I hope that it will not impede your judgement."
He tilted his head, and then turned and left me standing there. My jaw open just slightly, as his words sunk in. Spock was okay with this! He was okay with that boy being our Captain. My brow furrowed as I tried to understand. But I was just to tired and my mind seemed to be moving as the slowest rate possible. I groaned, and then turned and started walking home. I still needed to get my luggage and then board the Enterprise.
After retrieving my luggage I was forced to endure a very long talk (or rather long threat session) with my parents about how I needed to be safe and how I had to come back, or else.
Then, they insisted on driving me there. It wasn't much of a drive but it felt like it dragged on for an eternity. Once we got there, there was a flurry of hugs and I love you's and then finally I was shoved into a shuttle and was thus condemned to murder an arrogant bastard. Ah, the things I do for people! But then again if I murdered him it would mean the end of my life in the Star fleet, which was not such a good thought. After the shuttle dropped us off I was hurried to my room and was then instructed to report to the bridge as soon as possible. I groaned I really did not want to have to deal with this right now. It would be better if I just went to sleep for the next hour or so.
"Officer Cayden please report to the bridge!" I glared at the speaker for a moment before deciding that after my alarm clock that it was the next thing to die. I shuffled around the room once, or twice, unpacking and attempting to make the stander issues room feel like home. I struggled with the choice of keeping my sanity or my job, it really was a difficult choice. I suppose my significantly sleep deprivation was not helping either. I stopped, sighed heavily and then exited my room. Trudging down a couple of nondescript hallways until I slipped into a nearly full elevator and was whisked up to the bridge. There was barely enough room for all of us. Crushed together as we listened the new Captain's supposedly poetic words.
"Space the final frontier these are the voyages of the Enterprise its continuing mission to explore strange worlds, to seek out new life and new civilization to boldly go where no man has gone before." I had to fight the urge to snort. He thought that was inspiring?
"You may return to your post." Spock said in his nearly monotone voice. I glanced at him, he was looking right at me. I cocked an eyebrow up in a questioning look.
"Officer Cayden please meet my in briefing room 3." I rolled my eyes, but did as I was commanded, no sense in getting in more trouble then necessary when it came to murder. Although I had to fight against the flow of the group, I finally got to said room and entered. Spock was standing with his back to me, there was also the newbie. I bit down hard on the inside of my bottom lip to keep from saying something I would definitely regret.
"Yes?" I finally questioned, stiffly all business. They turned, the Captain gave me a quick once over before looking strangely at Spock.
"This Captain is Officer Cayden." I flashed a fake smile, carefully schooling my features as to not reveal my homicidal intent.
"Hello,"
"Hello," He stepped forward and shook my hand, as we separated, we both turned questioningly to Spock.
"Officer Cayden was unable to be with us for the Enterprise's maiden voyage because she was finishing her Medical training." He explained, I nodded in agreement.
"And if I know her, she had no idea as to what transpired during that voyage." the Captain chuckled, before turning towards me.
"Well, then I doubt you know who I am. My name is James T. Kirk." He smiled, in what was suppose to be charming way.
"I am Abrielle Cayden." He chuckled again, as annoying as it was I could see how that laugh could be infectious, it was so devious just like a child's.
"I will brief officer Cayden," Spock continued, the Captain nodded.
"Well, then I am not needed. See ya," He glanced at me before quickly exiting the room.
"If that was some kind of test I hope, I failed!" I grumbled before flopping into a chair. It really was comfortable, I folded my arms and sunk my head onto them, forehead resting on my crossed wrists.
"It was not a test."
"Spock please just get this over with so I can go to bed." He nodded, turned and powered up the screen. Immediately a news reel flashed. It read; Earth has been saved by James T. Kirk, a young Star Fleet cadet. I glanced in disbelief at Spock. A slight smile grace his lips before he too left the room. I turned back to the news reel. It went on to explain how Kirk and Spock had saved earth by defeating Nero. After the reel was done the screen flickered off.
"Okay, so what if he saved earth!" I explained in frustration. "He still replaced the one man who I respected above all others." I stood and stomped out of the room. Shooting daggers at anyone who was unlucky enough to happen to be in my way. The ride back down to my floor as far longer than the one up, adding to my annoyance, I knew that it was ridiculous and childish but that did not stop my foul attitude. Once I entered my room, I tugged my clothes off, took a scalding hot shower, threw some pajamas on and flopped into bed. Ready to sleep my cares away, if only it was that easy.
"I'm being illogical!" I grumbled as sleep pounced.
PLEASE REVIEW, it makes my day :D
anyways, again if there is anything out of place, or worded wrong please let me know so I can fix it
Thanks to We_regret_to_inform_you, and Ren212000 for reviewing