Hey, Stefan_sama here again. I'm sorry that updating took so long, lots of homework. Also, court sequences are both extremely hard to write and extremely long, so this chapter kind of sucks, in my opinion. As penance, chapter 3 is halfway done, so updating that won't be nearly as long. Also, here's an updated list of characters that will appear or already have: Mia, Diego, Grossberg, Payne, Phoenix, Edgeworth, Larry, Gumshoe, Iris, Maya, Pearls, Eldoon (Sr.), Kristoph, Valant, and the Judge, and Bikini, Basil, Klavier, Drew Misham, and Kay Faraday will all be referenced. In any case, enjoy (though that might be kind of hard)!

Chapter 2: Courthouse Complications

9 Years Ago

An hour later saw me lying on the couch, watching a court procedure video and munching Snackoos. Maya had come down from Kurain for a visit for the week. The area around her sleeping bag was covered in potato chip wrappers, burger cartons, and instant ramen containers. And the occasional soda can. Somehow, she was sleeping soundly, as opposed to in the water closet, preoccupied with diarrhea.

Though the volume was on full blast (amazingly, Maya's snoring was louder), my thoughts had wandered elsewhere, over to Grossberg Criminal Defense Law Offices. Mr. Grossberg was probably complaining loudly about his hemorrhoids aching over the secretary's keyboard right about now, with Diego sipping his 101 blends of coffee in the background.

Diego. That selfish, stuck-up, five-year-old, complete moron of a defense attorney… How… I… hate… him…

"Hey! Mia! Sis! Wake up!!"

Startled, I rose up like a cannonball, with Maya falling off of my stomach and onto the floor. "What? Where? Fire?" To my relief, the only trace of red came from the open window, showing the sun blazing down on a pair of birds singing a tune. Then it struck me. This was January.

I grabbed a pack of Maya's miso ramen, threw on my coat, yelled a goodbye to the still-groggy Maya, who was standing in the hall clutching her Pink Princess doll, and rushed out of the apartment. I ran like I never had before, not even the time when one of the kids in elementary school tripped into a pile of poo during a field trip. Thankfully, the courthouse was only a five-minute walk away. By the time I had burst through the courthouse doors, it was already 9:45.

Diego was there, along with a timid-looking young man who was sitting down, staring at the floor through his spectacles and twiddling with the ponytail resting on his left shoulder. As usual, Diego's greeting consisted of a smirk and an insult. "Well, it seems like the little Kitten finally woke up from her nap."

For once, I managed to ignore him and roll my eyes, keep my cool. Instead, I turned to the teenager sitting on the bench. "Excuse me, but are you the defendant?"

The man managed a nod, but Diego answered for him. "Yeah, this is the guy. Kristoph Gavin. Eighteen years old. Accused of Familicide." A loud bell rang, making me jump. "Oops. Time to go. C'mon, Kitten."

After confirming both sides were ready, the prosecution went ahead with their opening statement. "That timid young man sitting in the defendant's chair is actually a sick and twisted man, Your Honor. While alive, the victim owed the defendant, her cousin, a substantial amount of money. After waiting months to receive it, the defendant clearly became fed-up with waiting and murdered his cousin in cold blood. As for murder method, I'd like to establish that right now, but, seeing as this is her first time in court, perhaps the defense's assistant would like to take a shot…?"

I was a little taken aback by the challenge, but managed to respond. We saw the crime scene, didn't we? It was stabbing, of course."

Diego shook his head. "Green as ever, I see. In court, everything must be supported by evidence. Try looking at the court record." He took a large gulp of his coffee. "See the prosecutor bobbing his hair? That's Winston Payne. Because of his style, some of the more stupid have taken to calling him the 'rookie killer'. Of course, a third-rate hack like him couldn't hold a candle to me."

I took a peek, and the method was pretty obvious. "Take that!" I shouted as I presented the knife to the court.

"Good, good." wheezed the prosecutor. "Indeed, the victim was brutally murdered at the hands of that man. Now, witness, if you please, your testimony on the murder circumstances …" The witness nodded and stepped up to the stand, identifying himself as Kendall Gavin, the victim's brother and Kristoph's cousin.

"My sister and I were at the temple that night to do a news article on it, since we work as reporters. I hadn't met Kristoph before, either. Apparently, he had been acquainted with my sister since he met her when she did a story on the restaurant where he holds a part-time job. She owed him money, but seeing our family had to pay for my college, she pitched in, blowing her savings. When she couldn't pay up that night, he… Come to think of it, I don't see why he was at the temple, since we never told anyone about the trip…"

"Hm…" Diego mused. "Your Honor. This is nothing but a summary of the supposed events, which won't lead to anything. The defense requests further testimony on the murder itself."

The Judge nodded, his beard bouncing, exposing bits of what appeared to be manju. "Very well. The court grants the defense's request. Witness…?"

Kendall nodded and began to speak, despite the girlish shrieks of the prosecution. "We had come downstairs to get a drink of water. When we came down the stairs, the killer appeared out of nowhere! Seeing my sister, he went in for the kill, stabbing her in the chest… After she fell to the floor, the killer turned on me, knocking me out with his fists when the knife became stuck. When I came to, I was in the Temple Infirmary, with cops swarming everywhere and the word "justice" emblazoned on the wall—"

Diego extended his arm, banging his mug on the table in a fashion similar to a gavel. "Objection!" he yelled, his voice echoing across the room. "Witness. You claim the killer 'started when he saw your sister'. In reality, he could barely see his hand in front of his face on that winter midnight, as illustrated by this low-power lantern!"

You could practically hear the flames burn as Kendall recoiled, his eyes fearful. Payne, on the other hand, managed to keep his cool, for once. Somewhat. "Objection!" he shrieked, banging his fists against the table (which resulted in another, softer shriek, causing him to wince in pain slightly). "This testimony is purely inferential! Of what purpose does this prove?!" he sweated.

Diego smirked. "Obviously, Payne, you still don't get it; it proves two things, both of varying importance. First off, this means our defendant's motive is completely null and void." The jury gasped audibly, hopefully now leaning in our favor. Diego took another mocking sip of coffee. "Second. In the witness' testimony, the witness was supposedly knocked out for a while. In this period, a body could easily have been switched."

Kendall and Payne began to sweat nervously once more. "Surely you aren't saying…?" began the prosecutor.

"You bet I am." said Diego, his voice raising slightly. "If the forensics team were to analyze this blood sample, they would find a complete mismatch and a Hazakura nun missing!"

Silence. I glanced around the room. Time seemed to be frozen. At least, for a few seconds. "WAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" A bloodcurdling scream bounced off the walls, courtesy of Payne.

The judge banged his gavel thrice in a futile effort to silence the buzzing jury. "Order, order! Order, I say! Mr. Armando! If your speculations are correct, where is the body of the real victim?" he asked as he handed the blood to the bailiff.

Diego smirked again. It was actually getting kind of annoying. "If your honor were to get out once in a while, he would see that the temple lies right next to Eagle River, where the current is so strong that no body has ever been recovered from it."

Both Payne and the Judge blinked. "So, you're saying…?"

He sipped his coffee, nodding. "I'm surprised you haven't gotten it yet. The defense asserts that the real victim is currently lying at the bottom of Eagle River, courtesy of one Kendall Gavin!"

Kendall flinched visibly, but was able to bounce back easily. "But, Herr Lawyer, even if I did kill my sister, why would I try to use a Hazakurian nun's body to duplicate and forge a crime scene and body?"

"Ah, hubris." he said, chuckling. "Do you honestly think that I would raise such an accusation without evidence or even a theory in mind?" He turned to the prosecutor. "Hey, Payne, let me ask you something." The prosecutor practically jumped his height in surprise, barely managing to do more than twiddle his thumbs and sweat. "What happens to a body that isn't found?"

Payne relaxed, obviously delighted to be asked a question he could actually comprehend. "Of course, they would be reported as legally missing until seven years. But, naturally, they are assumed as dead until then."

A smile came to Diego's lips. "Thank you, my dear Hyena." He turned away from the puzzled Payne, who was probably wondering what that question was about and whether Diego's last comment was a compliment or insult. "I'd like to come back to this point later, Your Honor, but for now. I'd like the witness to testify about Eagle River…"

The Judge nodded. "Very well, the Court honors the defense's request. Witness, your testimony on Eagle River, if you please…?"

And so began another testimony, with Kendall closing his eyes in order to recall the scene. "Eagle River has a very strong current, so it doesn't melt in winter. Hence, bodies are never found. It also has a bridge running across it called Dusky. I believe the height from the bridge to the ground is roughly 40 feet… But, anyway, we never went to the bridge that night!"

"Objection!" The words came out just like Maya: with absolutely no self-control. The judge blinked thrice, probably just as confused as I was.

Diego set his mug down, then slapped his forehead. "Kittens may not know better, but this is just ridiculous. You do realize that this is a 'time trial?' That one penalty will cause us to lose the case instantly…?" I groaned just as loudly as he did. "The court record better be able to work a miracle…"

Naturally, if the miracle hadn't happened, I wouldn't have become such a successful lawyer later. "Here is a photograph taken by the police of the precipice. Clearly shown in the snow is a long, snakelike indentation!"

Another screech came, this time louder than nails on chalkboard. "Objection!" screamed Payne. "Your Honor! We at the Prosecutor's are no fools; we've done our research." I beg to differ… I thought. "As shown by this affidavit from a certain Sister Bikini of Hazakura Temple, the area is filled with snakes of all sorts—"

I countered with an Objection of my own. "I'm afraid (not really) that argument won't work, Mr. Prosecutor. Not with the three contradictions there." Everyone in the courtroom gasped, save for Diego, who was smiling proudly, and Payne, who seemed to be peeing his pants. "The first two contradictions make the appearance of a snake highly improbable: the print is both too wide and too shallow to be a snake." Payne was pretty much bawling at this point. "The third makes a snake nigh impossible. Payne: You claim that prosecutors 'are not fools.' Then, would you care to explain how a cold-blooded animal appeared in the snow?!"

Payne sank to the floor in despair, but Kendall managed to keep his cool. "True, maybe there wasn't a snake (then again, you guys are all lawyers). But, you still haven't proved that we were there. I believe you need some evidence, ja?"

I took a cue from Diego and smirked. "No need. If you examine this photograph of the crime scene, the victim is clearly wearing a scarf… Which matches the imprint exactly!"

"Ughhh…!" came the reply from Payne. "B-But… Your Honor! This line of testimony has absolutely nothing to do with the crime—"

"Objection." came a soft (for once) retort from Diego, shaking his head. "I believe it is finally time to reveal the killer's motive…" He turned to the jury. "Can anyone tell me what a dead person leaves behind?

"Memories?"

"Blood?"

"A will?"

"Exactly. Witness. You took your sister out to the river, then killed her, knowing that you would inherit all. Everything went according to plan until you lost control of the body, sending it plummeting into the gorge below. Realizing you wouldn't get the money, you picked up her scarf, leaving the imprint. Then, you walked down the cleared path, leaving no footprints. You then killed a nun and disguised her as your sister. Finally, to avoid suspicion, you wrote on the wall, since the only one with a clear motive was your cousin, Kristoph."

The witness… Er, the killer was trembling all over, his head down, his arm on the stand. "No… No… This can't be happening… How… Did they know…?" On the other side of the courtroom, Payne was just about saying the same thing.

The Judge blinked again. "What a shocking turn of events… In any case, I see no point in further prolonging this trial. The court hereby finds the defendant, Kristoph Gavin…"

"Not Guilty."

Cheers and confetti erupted from the jury, along with the crying Kristoph. He thanked us many times over, then added that he wanted to become an attorney. After that, he left, humming a tune. "That was close… Almost downed my 17th cup of coffee…" muttered Diego.

"Why 17?"

"I never drink more than 17 cups in a single trial."

"Preposterous. Since when?"

"Since I met you, Kitten. I had drank 17 cups that morning when you came in, remember?"

I sighed. "Honestly… Do you seriously think you can get away with spouting corny lines at a time like this…?"

"Exactly. You've completely fallen for me."

And, of course, I slapped him again.