Chapter 1:
2FLD
"Hhhhhh-huhhhhhhhh...hhhhhh-uhhhhhh...."
A tall, scrawny man wielded a Sith light saber. A Darth Vader helmet sat on his head and cape on his shoulders. He spoke with the signature voice, "You are strong with the force, Mark. But even you cannot defeat me!"
Another scrawny, black-haired, green-eyed twenty-year-old dressed in Jedi robes brandished his green light saber. "You overestimate yourself, Chad. And that shall be your undoing!"
The Darth Vader themesong blared in the background as The Empire Strikes Back played in a Playstation 3 in a messy motel room full of books, boxes, and busts of Star Wars memorabilia.
The warriors clashed sabers. Chad had the upper hand with his strength. Mark held steady then broke from the struggle by backflipping over a couch. The duel went on with the rivals slashing and swinging all around the room. Mark threw magazines at Chad. Chad dodged and deflected them as he went. Chad stepped on Mark's toe. Mark dropped into a chair and rolls out of it. They grind beams again.
"Your defense is a fail on it's own, Mark."
"Your mom is a fail!"
Mark kicked Chad away and they faced each other once again, sabers in hand.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"HEY, OPEN UP GUYS! IT'S ME!"
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Chad and Mark sighed and sheathed their weapons. Chad pulled off his helmet. Mark answered the door.
"What is it, Mike?"
Mike was a tall, chubby nerd with short messy hair, acne-encrusted skin and wore a Cranberry T-Shirt. He exclaimed, "Dude! Did you see the news?"
"What about it?"
"Turn on the TV!"
Mike burst into the motel room and ran towards the television. Chad stared at Mark for a minute. Mark simply rolled his eyes and shrugged. The two met Mike on the couch and flipped the television to ISZK News. A brunette reporter spoke about a recent murder.
"Federal Agents and local Dallas officials are currently investigating the recent multiple homicide of five men in the Plainview area. All five victims were found in the home of victim Brian Matthews earlier last week. Matthews and company are all related members of famous Star Wars fan club, the 51st Squad. The 51st, also known as Vader's Foot, is a famous organization named after Darth Vader's elite guard. The fan club is known for its members dressing up as Storm and Clone Troopers at many Star Wars events and science fiction conventions. Federal agents and investigators have yet to release anymore details regarding the incident or the victims. However, the leader of the 51st has posted a message on their website that he and fellow members are more than willing to cooperate with the authorities in the investigation. The 51st Squad also send condolences and regards to the families of the victims."
Mike stated, "Five members of the 51st....gone...just like that..."
Chad patted Mike on the shoulder, "Yeah, that's a shame, man. A real tragedy."
Mike clenched his fists. "It's insane, dude! Who would want to kill a bunch of good Troopers like that?"
Mark mused as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, "Jedi? A disgruntled fanboy perhaps?"
"It's what took down Lennon." Chad smugly remarked.
"You know they canceled all their upcoming appearances because of the killings, right?" Mike inquired.
"Yep." The Jedi and Sith replied.
Mike threw his hands in the air, "How can you be so cool about this? Five of the most elite crew in the world are dead! DEAD!"
Mark held his hand up, "Relax, Mike! We don't even known the motive. For all we know, terrorists could have killed 'em."
Mike's eyes widened, "You think?"
Chad went on, "That is possible. The 51st is considered by many geeks to be a symbol of American and world power. Killing them could send a message to nerds everywhere."
Mark joked, "Enemies of the Republic."
Mike stood up and panicked, "You know what this means? We could be going to war!"
Chad assured the nerd, "I seriously doubt that it will be like that. The whole incident could have been some the fault of some broke idiot that thought some Star Wars merch could make him some cash."
"But, who would go so far as to do that?"
"Plenty of people, Mike." Chad spoke. "Lots."
"That's fucked up, man." Mike lowered his head.
"That's life, man." Chad added.
Mark put an arm around Mike. "Look, five men that happened to be 51's are dead. We don't know how. We don't know why. But we will find out sooner or later. Why don't you go back downstairs and enjoy the convention? We'll keep you posted if we find anything else out, ok?"
"Alright." Mike sighed, "Still got a bunch of stuff to do anyway. Thanks guys, I'll catch you later. We might have a saber vigil after by the way. After all the stuff is over for the day."
"Thanks. Tell us later and we'll go." Mark assured him.
"Sure thing guys!"
Mark shut the door. Chad turned around and they stared at each other for a moment. Chad raised up a Storm Trooper helmet from under the couch. They both laughed.
Mark pointed, "Did you see the pictures of those guys?"
Chad laughed, "I know! I was totally about to crack up when I saw them!"
"When I saw that one guy, I was totally thinking about that force choke I did! It was awesome!"
"I know! My saber still smells like that one dude with the crappy cologne!"
"And that one guy tried to fight us with those new sabers. What a dumbass!"
"I said it once, and I'll say it again." Chad declared, "Nothing beats the old school."
They two nerds held up beers. "To the old school! Still alive, still kickin, still elite!"
Chad calmed down after a few chugs. He asked, "Are you sure we aren't going to get in trouble with the UAA about this?"
"Relax." Mark told him, "There's no way they can pin those guys on us. Even so, we're assassins! We're bound to kill a few people here and there. It's collateral damage! Or we can tell the UAA it was self-defense and that they came onto us."
"With their crappy sabers and fake guns that we happen to have?"
"Sure, why not?"
"You are a bigger Sith than me!"
Mark laughed an spoke like ObiWan Kenobi, "It was for the greater good."
They both cracked up and laughed some more.
Suddenly, Mark froze. His eyes lit up with alarm.
Chad stopped laughing and asked, "What is it?"
"A disturbance!"
"What?"
CRAASSSSSSHHHHHH!
Shattered glass, coimc books, and merchandise flew everywhere.
Chad and Mark stood back up. A person stood in front of what used to be the hotel window. A closer look revealed the person to be a muscular woman dressed in a blue, Japanese schoolgirl uniform. She wore blue tennis shoes on her feet and an armguard over her left arm. A large, red, Japanese, oni mask radiated white fur around it and covered the woman's head. She detached a cable from her body that hung from the top of the building.
The woman called out in a commanding voice, "Chad Darkside and Mark Light of 2FLD!"
Chad exclaimed, "Holy shit! I knew it! I knew they were sending someone after us! They found out! They fuckin' found out!"
"SHUT UP!" Mark shouted."She's not an agent!"
The woman went on, "I've come to challenge you for your position as Rank 13 of the UAA's Texas Top 20!"
Mark called the woman out, "You think you can handle taking on both the light and the darkside?" He activated his Jedi light saber.
Chad unleashed his Sith saber. "Then come get some!"
The woman produced a strange light saber of her own. She pressed a switch and the saber shot out a rod from the base. A prong shot out from the top and the bottom of the rod. And a large, blue stream of light flashed between them. The woman shifted into a fighting stance.
Chad's eyes lit up with glee, "Holy shit! It's a light zanbato!"
Mark complimented her, "That's a bold weapon you have there. But no weapon is greater than the force!"
Chad laughed, "Nonetheless, after we kill you, that weapon is going into my collection!"
The three assassins got into position. Chad made the first move and charged at her. The masked one swung her beam and they fought. Chad tried to push her towards the open air. She caught onto his trick and grabbed him. One shove nearly sent him towards the edge. He caught himself two feet before the drop. He angrily retaliated by telekinetically throwing the couch at her. The woman swung her beam and split the furniture in two as it flew out the room.
Mark slashed at the attacking woman. She deflected his blade with her armguard and engaged him as a target. They battled carefully around furniture and stacks of Star Wars memorabilia. Mark skillfully defended himself against the woman's methodical wrath. She fought with a steady pace and with powerful upper-body strength but swift enough footwork to dodge his advances.
Chad raised the stakes against the invading assassin by force throwing items at the woman. She balanced her defense between the two forces. Her arm and her zanbato alternated between either holding off saber attack or destroyed some priceless collectible. Mark yelled at Chad, "STOP BREAKING ALL OUR STUFF!"
Chad yelled back, "GET HER OUT OF HERE THEN!"
Mark and Chad sent a whole wave of furniture and after the woman. She cut and slashed everything in her way from magazines to a toaster. Chad threw a bomb.
FLASSSSHHHH!
Mark raised his hand and telekinetically flung a whole mattress at the masked woman. The woman, not affected by the flash bomb, hacked the bed into pieces. The other mattress followed in the same fate.
Mark and Chad ran out the hotel room door. Chad jammed the card lock with a quick force grip. They heard the handle rattle as the woman tried to get out.
"That should hold her off!" Chad remarked as they ran towards the elevator.
POW!
"What the hell?" They looked back at their room. The woman punched a whole in the door and hacked it into pieces.
"SHIIIIIIIIT!" They ran up the hall and found the stairs. Chad shut and force-jammed the door.
"We'll take her on the roof!" Mark declared.
"Are you nuts? Let's get the hell outta here!" Chad protested.
"No! If we try to leave, we'll draw attention!"
"What makes you so sure about that?"
"They're the UAA, Chad! They don't give a shit! And if she doesn't find us then the Feds will! If we want to get out of this alive, she has to die!"
POW!
The assassin kicked open the door below them. The Jedi and Sith ran upstairs until they reached the top. Chad force-threw the rooftop door open and jammed it behind them. The warriors powered on their light sabers and waited. For a minute, it was quiet. Then-
!
They froze in anticipation of their pursuer.
"What the fuck is she doing?" Chad asked.
A large, narrow, swiveling beam of light punctured the door.
"OH HELL NO!" Chad ran at the door.
Mark called out, "What the hell are you doing?"
"Putting an end to this shit!"
Chad shoved his saber into the door and melted a hole clean through it. He stabbed it five more times to try and kill the woman. He eventually slashed the hinges and threw the door down the stairs. She was gone.
"Don't do it!" Mark cried out.
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM!
The woman lunged from the side with the beam-saber. This time, a swiveling, screw-like beam protruded from the handle. Chad dodged her advances and fervently swiped at her to keep his distance. Then he noticed it.
"Is that...a beam drill?" The Sith-nerd asked.
"Yes. Yes it is, Chad." Mark replied.
The woman stood still for a moment. She deactivated her saber and removed a strange part at the top of the hilt. She replaced the gadget with a familiar piece on top of the weapon. She activated it and the zanbato returned in three protrusions.
Chad stared in amazement. "It has attachments, Mark."
"That's not very relevant right now, Chad."
The three assassins continued their battle on the rooftop. Chad used his strength and tried to move the woman towards the edge of the building. Mark tried to wear the woman down. The woman held strong against the two nerds with patience and skill. She sustained a few saber burns but showed no weakness. The fighters picked up the pace and the battle grew more intense. Chad and Mark swung at her from all angles. She kept slashing and kicking through their offenses and cut some damage into the duo.
ZZZZZZZZT!
The masked woman's beam-zanbato burned out. Chad and Mark halted their attacks. They smiled. Mark mused, "It seems the force is not with you today." Chad laughed and mocked, "Your Japanese new-school skills are no match for us!"
FSSSSSSSSSHT!
"What the?"
Chad's red light saber faltered and retreated back into its hilt. Mark's light sword did the same. Chad stared at it and muttered, "Oh shit!" Mark glared at him. "You forgot to plug them into the chargers again, didn't you?" Chad argued, "You were charging your cell with it!"
The woman shook the handle of her weapon attentively. A moment later, the beam-zanbato returned. She spoke behind her in mask, "Let me give you some advise." The two nerds stared at her with awe and fear creeping on their faces. "Old school may have come first. But that does not mean it's the best!"
"SHIIIT!"
The masked woman charged after them. Chad and Mark slammed her with a massive wave of their powers. Mark's force-wall pushed the woman across the building. Chad tried to force choke her. "Keep on! Only a little further!"
The woman struggled against the power of the force but held steady. She took one step away from the edge. Then another. And another. She gradually regained her position against the force-geeks minute by minute and showed no weakness. Chad and Mark increased their power. But the woman still kept marching towards them.
"She's not stopping, man!" Chad nervously spoke.
The duo sent all their power at her and pushed her back a few more feet. She held her position and gradually marched again a minute later. Chad and Mark kept trying to choke her or throw her. But the felt their powers beginning to subside.
"She'd getting closer, man! She's getting closer!" Chad panicked.
"SHUT UP!"
The oni-woman's advance got faster as their powers drained. Her walk grew faster. Then she started to run.
"WHY WON'T SHE DIE!"
ZRRRRRRRM! ZRRRRRRRRRRRRM!
Silence.
Two heads flew in the air, followed by their bodies. They fell twelve stories into the ballroom.
CRAAAAASSSSSSSSSSH!
The woman watched from above as people gathered around the bodies. "Fools cannot move mountains." She pulled out a cellphone from her pocket. She called a number in its list.
"It's done. The targets have been eliminated."
"Someone called the cops. We're parked in the back of the lot. Hurry."