Sib&Div: So apparently we're not as fast as we'd like to be, but we're working on it. And there shall be more Anko in the next chapter, promise!
Lethal Liaison.
Written by: Sibbyna & ScarletDivinity.
Chapter II.
The art of deceit.
The wind howled ominously through the trees as the sun began to emerge at the horizon. Around the borders of the fire country, three Akatsuki were poised on a thick branch overhead, obscured by the canopy of leaves.
Deidara pressed his painted black fingernail against his cheek, making random dents below his cheekbone. His frustration was palpable to the other two Akatsuki; they could tell by his expression and posture. His eyes were glaring at everything they focused on, his lips were drawn into a tight scowl, and lastly his blond eyebrows were knitted together, forming wrinkles between his eyes to further darken them with shadows.
Sasori didn't bother to converse with him. He left that up to Konan. The puppet master had no intention of joining his partner in this ridiculous bet, but unfortunately he was obligated to see to Deidara's successful infiltration into Konohagakure. Luckily, the brat at least had some acute sensibility coupled with quickness of intellect which would ensure he would be quick on his feet in difficult situations if faced with them.
"You'll need this," the blue-haired Akatsuki said, holding up a red ribbon.
"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?" the bomber spat.
Konan kept her expression impassive. "Tie your hair."
He raised an eyebrow at her infuriatingly blunt demeanour. "What's wrong with my hair?"
She lowered her eyelashes, her piercing scintillating when it caught an orange ray of sunshine. "A braid will suit you better, if you intend to pass as a woman."
He let his forehead fall against his hand, his elbow propped up on his leg. He was sitting down, allowing Konan to fix up his appearance. "I don't do braids."
Konan finally sighed. "Would you like me to do it for you, then?"
Deidara waved his hand languidly, as if he was shooing her away. Konan gave a curt nod and stepped around him, ending up at his back, taking a handful of his hair which she began to braid after tying it with another red ribbon at the nape of his neck.
Konan separated Deidara's hair into five thick locks, weaving them together into one golden braid with languid movements of her fingers. The bomber's cerulean glare was narrowed towards the village lying ahead, watching the sunrise through the mountain's jagged crests as his arms folded across his chest.
Sasori gave the blond a sidelong glance, his features impassive and stone-like. "What's your name?"
A muscle tightened in Deidara's jaw. "I'm not in the mood for your humour."
The puppet master's eyebrow arched, his half lidded eyes focusing on the milky-white walls bordering Konohagakure. Based on Itachi's information, Deidara's infiltration should be fairly straightforward and simple; however, with the bomber's short temper and headstrong personality, Sasori was beginning to doubt the success rate of this bet. "My humour? That's hardly what I'm getting at." The redhead turned towards his partner, deadpanning, "Unless you're dense enough to use your real name for this mission."
Deidara's brows perked upward, though his scowl still pulled his lips back over his teeth. "I haven't thought of that."
Sasori grunted. "Obviously."
Cupping his chin between his thumb and index fingers, Deidara's downcast gaze focused on the wild grass below, his features masked by a thoughtful expression. A name? He only saw himself as one person: Deidara. He wasn't very fond of coming up with an alias for himself—being stripped of his pride apparently wasn't enough—but now the thought of losing his identity churned more of the blond's hatred toward the white-haired immortal.
Deidara's lips parted, having thought of a new name. "Arisu—"
"Reina," Sasori interjected.
The blond turned his head to face his superior, though Konan's grasp held firm and yanked his hair back. Hard. Deidara would have winced, but with his ego blown to smithereens, he didn't care enough to complain. "What?"
The puppet master's jaw went taut, his glassy eyes glaring at the bomber. "Don't make me repeat myself."
"Reina?" Deidara snorted, inclining his chin. An ill-assorted vocabulary came to mind when the blond considered his next words, but he refrained despite his unparalleled detest for that name. Instead, he commented, "That's too feminine."
"That was the point," Sasori deadpanned once again, his red brows furrowing. "You're supposed to be a girl, after all." His glossy eyes were more ghostly than usual, which emphasized Sasori's frustration.
Konan finally tied the red ribbon around Deidara's hair, completing the braid. "Pein expects you to be well on your way by midmorning," she said, stepping back, "You should go."
The bomber grunted, abandoning his Akatsuki cloak with his partner before making his way towards Konohagakure.
Konan glanced over at Sasori. "I suspect this won't end well," she admitted with indescribable frankness.
The puppet master agreed, acknowledging Konan's suspicions by meeting her gaze, his lifeless eyes reflecting her own darkening apricot-coloured ones. The blue-haired woman dispersed in a flurry of paper, and Sasori slunk back into the dappled shadows of the forest, knowing he would need to burn some time.
A whole whirlpool of various emotions struck Deidara as he neared the large red gates of Konoha. The two guards standing at either side of the gate watched him approach, straightening their posture instinctively.
"State your business, name, and occupation," the man on the right demanded, eyeing the blond with sharp, scrutinizing brown eyes.
"Special jounin transferring from Iwagakure, Reina, and formerly an academy teacher," Deidara whispered to disguise his voice. He was going to have to get used to using a more female tone. The very thought of having to speak in a high-pitched voice made him shudder with unbecoming vehemence.
"Your affiliation is with Iwagakure?" the guard on the left with the shaggy black hair inquired.
Deidara reached into the pocket of his pants to pull out a scroll signed by the Tsuchikage—not the actual Tsuchikage, of course; it was a falsification made by Uchiha Itachi, who could flawlessly copy handwriting with his Sharingan. Ironic how Deidara had to rely on that damned bloodline limit to safely get into Konoha.
"This confirms my transfer of affiliation," Deidara said bluntly, unrolling the scroll and holding it up for both guards to read over.
"Very well, you may pass. The Hokage's building is at the very end of the village, near the Kage summit," the guard with intimidating eyes informed.
Deidara passed them, feeling a rush of exhilaration. That was easier than he expected, and accidental rather than intentional.
The village was large, and much livelier than Iwagakure. Iwa was hidden between the tall mountains of the earth country, and to navigate through the village one would have to cross multiple bridges between buildings. Konoha was open and well-developed.
Absent-mindedly Deidara wondered what the fifth Hokage would be like.
Ambling down the streets of Konohagakure wasn't as dreadful as Deidara originally thought. He still wasn't amused by Hidan's sense of humour, though. Nevertheless, with the easy infiltration and the vacant streets stretched out before him, Deidara was beginning to feel smug. Thirty days to get Akatsuki's files and to score a girl? The bomber was confident that he could accomplish both tasks in half the amount of time he had been given.
He ran his fingers through his blond hair as he neared the Kage summit, the tips catching on the braid Konan wove at the nape of his neck. With an irritated grumble, the bomber freed his hands, and with his scroll firmly clamped in his grasp, climbed up the staircase weaving around the red building perched at the end of the village.
With purposeful movements, the blond silently entered the panelled hallways of the Hokage's offices. The building was completely silent and vacant. Deidara took a step forward and, while glancing both left and right, quickly sidestepped away from the door and meandered down the hallway. It wasn't as if he knew where the hell he was going, anyway.
Deidara froze dead in his tracks when he noticed the corridor he entered had a dead-end. He spun around. He was unaware of the person following in his tracks.
A feminine gasp chased away the silence when he came face to face with the girl he startled behind him, her pink hair falling to her shoulders when she jumped back to ensure some distance. "Sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. You looked lost."
The bomber suppressed a snort. "A bit," he replied, trying to keep his voice high pitched but still toned. The girl's emerald eyes scanned him, and Deidara quickly scratched his cheek in an attempt to feign curiosity, adding, "I need to see the Hokage. My name is Reina; I'm transferring here from Iwagakure."
Sakura nodded, gesturing for the blond to follow her. "Tsunade's office is in the corridor on the right. I'll walk you there."
He watched her as she whirled around and determinedly led the way back to the end of the hall, where it was split into three corridors. Well, that explained why he couldn't figure out where the Hokage—Tsunade's—office was.
Feeling uncomfortable in the silence, Deidara shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the walls. "Oh, I'm Haruno Sakura, by the way," she pointed out delicately. "I'm Tsunade's apprentice." Funny how she managed to catch the awkward vibe Deidara was giving off.
"Apprentice, eh?" Deidara echoed curiously.
She nodded, her pink hair swaying in rhythm. "Medical apprentice."
"A medic…" he mused. "You must be pretty good, then, as the Hokage's apprentice."
She threw him a cheeky smile. "I'd like to think so!"
"Is the Hokage solely a medic?" he inquired further, feeling more confident by the second.
Sakura's expression fell. A look of doom darkened her eyes. "Most definitely not," she answered. "Tsunade has inhuman strength, and a bad temper."
Goodbye, smugness.
"Great…" Deidara muttered mainly to himself.
"Hehe." Sakura laughed nervously as she reached for the doorknob that led to Tsunade's office. When she opened it, Deidara was faced with a woman holding a pig in her arms. Her hair was short, black, and slightly wavy.
She looked at Sakura first, then at the blond who was merely two centimetres shorter than her. "Oh, hello." Her obsidian orbs smouldered with kindness when she smiled. This was the infamous Tsunade? She looked very gentle, actually. Maybe her looks were just deceiving? "Don't run off, Tonton." The black-haired woman placed the pig named Tonton on the ground after Sakura shut the door. The pig made an oink sound in response.
Deidara unintentionally grinned wolfishly. He hid it by making a bow, his hair falling over his face. "Nice to meet you."
The black-haired woman blinked, and then made a slight bow with her head too.
"This is Reina," Sakura informed. "She's here to change her residence and affiliation."
"Oh, I see," the woman petting the pig replied. "I'm Shizune, Tsunade's assistant."
Assistant? He inwardly repeated. Then who the fuck was Tsunade? Deidara was beginning to get frustrated, and it showed on his expression. The corners of his lips threatened to curl into a scowl.
Unexpectedly, a blonde woman brushed past him, completely ignoring him. "I need a painkiller," she muttered, rubbing her aching temples. Deidara could only stare as the beautiful blonde got settled behind the wooden desk and propped her elbow on the surface, her chin falling on her palm. "And you are?" she asked as her brown eyes locked on his blue ones.
His mind went blank, because his eyes had been focused on something else entirely.
She had massive breasts. He could clearly see her cleavage between the grass-green robe she wore.
For an infinitesimal moment he considered seducing the Hokage and catching two birds with one stone. But somehow this felt more like self-destruction, so he inwardly brushed it aside.
"Reina," he managed to answer without stuttering. He really had to stop staring at her cleavage before the lighter blonde caught his stare and figured him out—that, or proclaim him a lesbian. He wasn't sure which would be worse, and he wasn't eager to find out either. Degenerated into deadness and formality, he supplied, "I'm from Iwagakure, transferring to Konohagakure."
Tsunade held out her left hand blindly, and Shizune came back with an oval pill, presumably a pain killer. She then placed a glass of water on Tsunade's desk.
"Well then," the Hokage mumbled, looking down at the files on her desk. "I'll have some paperwork to do." There was a note of resentment in her tone. She raised her brown eyes to gaze at Sakura. "Anything you need, Sakura?"
The pink-haired girl shook her head. "No, I helped Reina find her way to your office."
"Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Tsunade waved a dismissive hand whilst draining the glass of water. Sakura got the hint, bowed, and left the chamber. The glass managed to bump against Tsunade's teeth, and it tinged softly.
Deidara quickly noted how cranky the woman seemed. Moreover, she looked like she was suffering from a hangover, which didn't bode well for him.
"Hand me the scroll," she demanded, placing the empty glass on her desk and holding out her flat hand. Deidara nodded swiftly, taking out the scroll Itachi forged, handing it over to Tsunade.
He felt a shudder of exhilaration when she opened it. In the back of his head, he had this unwelcome fear that she might figure it was a false document. He would be in so much trouble if that happened.
"You're a jounin," Tsunade read out loud. "And your specialty is explosions. Typical Iwagakure. Earth-natured, blood-type AB, long-range battles…"
Deidara instinctively hid his hands behind his back. He bandaged up the mouths on his hands, a direct result of the Kinjutsu he stole from Iwagakure, which would give him away instantly if they were visible. He couldn't risk that.
"You're useful," she decided. "But I'll need some time to think over what would be the most suitable occupation for you. For now, you may start wearing the traditional Konoha clothing for elite ninja."
"Thank you," Deidara answered quietly, forcing a smile.
"Also, you'll have to start looking for an apartment, if you haven't already. This may take some time, and I'll need to contact the Tsuchikage to confirm your transfer."
Deidara's heart pounded against his ribcage, so he slowed his breathing, trying to gain control of his nerves. Sasori better not fuck this up. Diffidence overwhelmed the blond, but he suppressed his emotions.
Shizune unexpectedly threw him a reassuring smile. "It'll take a few days to fully register you, but don't worry."
Deidara gave a nod, unable to speak because he feared he couldn't conceal his masculine voice this time. The woman with a violet rhombus on her forehead intimidated him, seeing as she had the ability to crush his infiltration mission if she deemed him too suspicious.
"I'll ensure your liaison between Konohagakure and Iwagakure." Tsunade sank back against her chair when she finished writing in the scroll meant for the Tsuchikage. "Well, that'll be all. You are dismissed until further notice."
As he left, the blond noticed the large brown bird which Tsunade tied the scroll to. Eyes narrowing to shards, he stepped over the threshold and disappeared from sight.
At the outskirts of Konoha, Sasori gazed up at the sky, hearing the fluttering of a bird's wings approaching him. Raising his arms, he extended his chakra strings towards the brown creature, ensnaring it. He forced it towards him, snatching it by its torso, and undoing the scroll tied to it.
The bird tried to struggle against Sasori's hold, going as far as to peck him repeatedly in the fingers.
The puppet master smirked devilishly, his eyes glazing over. "I'm afraid I can't feel that." He tucked the scroll behind his cloak and pivoted to leap up onto a higher branch and continue travelling back to the Akatsuki in order to bring the scroll to Itachi so he could forge another response from the Tsuchikage. He'd bring the bird with him as well, since they needed it to stay alive.
The bird continued to peck at his wooden fingers in vain for the rest of the day.
Meanwhile, Deidara was strolling leisurely through the streets of Konoha, wondering if he should find a job first or try to get an apartment. He decided he had enough money to rent an apartment, so he set out to find a cheap one.
-[Lethal]x[Liaison]-
Four hours later, and he still hadn't found a suitable apartment to rent. He would have to buy one, but that would seriously kill his budget. Plus, there was no need for him to buy one since he was only going to be in Konohagakure for three months if all went well.
He'd decided to give up on his search and eat at the nearest restaurant. While the village was easy to navigate and had a lively population, it was also incredibly hard to get an apartment to rent because many people were hunting for one.
Sighing, he continued to eat the boiled eggs in the surimi he ordered—or as he liked to call it: Bakudan.
"Are you Reina?"
The question caught him off guard, and Deidara almost felt inclined to snap back with, "What's it to you?" but managed to refrain. Instead, he turned around and smiled, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Why yes, yes I am."
The first thing Deidara noticed was a scar on his nose that extended all the way to his cheekbones. His eyes were dark and his brown hair was tied in a high ponytail. A tint of pink spread across his cheeks when their eyes met. His pupils dilated.
Deidara knew that look. He thought "she" was pretty.
"Tsunade asked me to bring you this," he said after clearing his throat. He handed her an outfit, which appeared similar to his own. A folded green vest and dark blue clothing with a forehead protector lying on top.
Deidara hesitantly took it from him, and expected him to continue talking. The blond had a feeling he would.
"Did you get an apartment yet, by the way?" the brunette male asked.
"I've been looking to rent one, but no such luck," Deidara answered.
The brunette folded his arms. "Well, I could probably help you find one, if you'd like."
Now the bomber was interested. "Really? You would?" He inwardly gagged at how cute and helpless he sounded, but he could really use all the help he could get.
"Of course," the brunette answered confidently, grinning. "I know my way around."
Deidara gave only the lightest smile. "Thank you very much."
"I'm Iruka, by the way. I teach at the academy."
The blond held out his bandaged hand. "Reina, as you know. I used to teach at the academy in Iwagakure."
Iruka shook Reina's hand, curiosity taking over. "Ah, so you like kids too?"
Fuck no, the bomber inwardly retorted.
"Yes, it's important to teach the next generation everything they need to know to survive." Deidara was quite proud of his speech, which he made up on the spot.
"I agree! It's a very rewarding job," Iruka exclaimed. "Well, I'd ask you to grab a bite to eat with me, but you've already ate, I see. How about another time, then?"
On one hand, Deidara mentally groused, bite me. On the other hand, free food. He was feeling particularly devious, so he answered sweetly, "I'd love to."
"Great! I'll see if I can help you out with your apartment, and we can meet up later tonight at the ramen stall. You know where it is, right?"
Deidara hesitated. He had no idea, but there was no way he'd ask for directions. "I think I do." The bomber's hand instinctively went up to his throat, making sure the red leather choker was still wrapped firmly around it. It served to hide his Adam's apple, another prominently male feature.
"All right, see you then." The brunette's hands went into the pockets of his vest as gave a lop-sided grin, and then he turned and left the restaurant.
Deidara let out a relieved sigh when Iruka was finally gone. His only solace was Hidan's absence. Had the immortal been here, Deidara would never be able to live down getting asked out for dinner with another guy.
And he had yet to meet a girl worth seducing. But at least he would get an apartment out of it, thanks to Iruka.
He caught his reflection in the only mirror inside the restaurant, hanging next to another dining table on his left. The thick line of black kohl around his eyes definitely made those cerulean depths stand out, and his golden blond hair was intricately braided, reaching all the way to his lower back where it was tied by a red ribbon. His bangs remained the same, though they were more equally divided to cover up his masculine cheekbones instead of his eyes.
Fake breasts, a red leather choker, and bandages made the biggest difference in his appearance.
The bomber was definitely a master of androgyny, which would serve him well in winning over a girl, whilst infiltrating Konoha in order to obtain all the files on the Akatsuki and return them to Pein. Additionally, he'd probably do well on gathering information on some of Konoha's elite ninja. It would definitely serve him well to provide Pein with valuable information, not to mention give him something to throw in Hidan's face.
Payback's a bitch.
Aside from getting a new updating schedule, any feedback? :D