From darkness to dawn
It had been 6 weeks since Blaine's kitchen meltdown. That had been the worst Kurt had seen Blaine. And of course Kurt being Kurt blamed himself, he had been extremely busy with classes, vogue and the only thing which brought in some money, working at the spotlight diner. He hadn't been oblivious to Blaine's decrease in happiness and the intensity in his need for cleanliness but he knew from past experience of his own that sometimes being left to deal with it alone could be best, for him at least being alone gave him the time to deal with his shit. Back in high school before Kurt had met his now fiancé he had gotten very depressed. But a different kind of depressed than what Blaine had. Blaine's was a need to be clean and have order and that brought on depression from no were, were as Kurt knew exactly why he felt so shitty at the time. It was during a time when being completely happy with who he was seemed like a dream to never come true. He had just come out as being gay which was a milestone in itself but being in a very judgemental with little support made him struggle to be happy for just a moment. Whenever he was happy, laughing and joking with his best friend Mercedes, a footballer bully would shove him with the force of a truck into the lockers. On few occasions Kurt had considered killing himself. Just to end it all with a small plummeting jump. It was around this time that he had met Blaine, who Kurt was utterly blown away and even now he still couldn't believe the luck he had to be able to love Blaine. It was this short tanned boy who had pulled him from the depths of his depression, and now he was going to do the same for him.
"Explain your feelings" Said a wrinkled grey haired man in a red leather chair, a councillor paid way to much to pry into Blaine's strange head.
"Dirty" was the only reply he could muster.
"And why is that?" A pretty dumb question Blaine though, seen as the councillor had all of Blaine's doctors notes, and knew exactly why he was there after many previous sessions.
Dumb question after dumb question Blaine conversed as much as he could to this boring judgemental man. This hour of question and answer did actually help Blaine, it made him understand that an 18 year old with a loving fiancé, while attending the college of his dreams with his whole life ahead of him shouldn't be depressed. He needed to beat this thing, his insane need for order. He found talking to kurt helped more than these expensively paid sessions did.
"Mr anderson" The man said to Blaine knocking him from his trance.
"Umm, sorry what was the question?" He felt like he was back at school with that response.
"Do you have a job? any other activities besides college classes?"
"No, would it be better if i did?"
"It wouldn't hurt, the only way of beating this is to face it head on. Say for example you work in a cafe or place of food you would be around mess all the time and have to deal with it. Eventually you would get used to it and not find it so much a struggle. It would be hard and maybe do as little shifts as possible, but if you keep taking your medication it would be highly recommended… Plus it would distract your mind."
The man actually made a valid point, Blaine didn't have a job, never had. It was his college loans that was paying for his life but maybe working would be a distraction? He would have to talk to kurt but just the idea of having a little more purpose in life filled Blaine with excitement. Like the counsellor said it would be a struggle but one worth fighting through in the long run. Kurt was waiting outside of the counsellor door like he always did. Blaine smiled a little longer than he usually did when leaving the dreaded sessions. That filled Kurt with so much hope, one small smile lasting a second longer than before made Kurt feel like things were on the up for Blaine. In sync they grabbed each others hand and began walking out of the clinical building, out into the muggy cold air of New York. For a while they didn't speak about the session, they took comfort in each others hands, Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand every now and then just let Kurt no that he was okay, it had become a thing they did, a gentle squeeze of the hand felt safe for them both.
The couple entered the loft and sat in there usual sofa spots and turned on the TV to continue there marathon of 'Orange is the new black'.
"So how was it? Boring as hell?" Kurt asked Blaine as there legs tangled around one authors, Kurt was the bigger of the two men and had taken to being Blaine's body pillow. His strong arm comfortably around Blaine's upper body.
"Actually not that bad, i wanted to talk to you about it" Kurt looked dubious.
"Go on.." instinctively expecting something bad.
"Its nothing bad" He said reading Kurt's mind. "My councillor thinks it would be a good idea to get a job, with the help of the meds it would be good to really face this problem head on, were theres no escape. It would also be a distraction for the depression side of things?"
"Thats a great idea baby, wouldn't it be really hard though?" Kurt liked the sound of the idea but also worried a little.
"It would be, but being surrounded by mess should lessen the effect it has on me, already i don't feel as crazy from just 6 weeks, so maybe its time to start living." It was then that Kurt saw the excitement in Blaine's eyes, the spark that had been missing from those hazel eyes for so long.
"I think its wonderful Blaine, and I think we have a job opening at the diner" Kurt said with more excitement than before.
"Really? That would be amazing if i could work there, it would probably be easier knowing that your there."
"Yeah my boss asked me if i know anyone who wants a job, Dani left because she moved to England, and at the time i didn't. There aren't many people who want to serve rude customers and then occasionally sing"
"Well id love that babe, you no if you could pass a word to your boss"
"Of course i can, ill tell him on my shift tomorrow"
After a moments pause Kurt spoke again.
"Baby you can do this, i promise, and it will be so much easier if we do it together."
They both moved in to embrace letting the firm hug last as long as it could, they pulled away and Blaine moved his body even closer to Kurt's resulting in him nearly lying on top of Kurt. Blaine stoked gently down his fiancés arm to meet with his hand, he took the hand and squeezed it softly, Kurt squeezed back. Blaine lay with his head on top of Kurt's chest, moving slight with each of Kurt's breath. He was so content in that moment, excited for tomorrow not dreading it like he used to, in the arms of the man he loved ever so much felt so peaceful, like anything bad couldn't touch this exact perfect moment.
It was 2 weeks later and Blaine's first day working at the spot light diner after Kurt had convinced his boss to give his fiancee the job. He was incredibly nervous, more nervous than he had when moving schools and starting college. He knew that this would either make him or break him, to most people starting a part time job at a diner wouldn't be a big deal, but he needed this to be able to get back to living, To look Kurt and everyone else in the eyes and be truly happy, instead of worrying that his shoes were an inch out of place. He dressed in his uniform, a spotlight diner shirt and tight black pants just like Kurt. He stared in the mirror for moment and gave himself a pep talk.
"Blaine you can do this, how hard could it be" He told himself before taking a big breath.
Kurt walked into the room wearing the same attire as Blaine siked himself up. He could see how nervous Blaine was, he wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller boys waist from behind resting his head against Blaine's.
"You can do this baby" Kurt whispers softly in Blaine's ear. The pair put on there coats and walked out of the loft hand in hand, and didn't let go the whole journey. They walked closer to the diner door Blaine holding Kurt's hand more fiercely. They were a team, if they stuck together they could rule the world, they both knew that. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand as a silent "It'll be okay?" Blaine squeezed back a moment later, Kurt thought to silently reply "yes I on", but in reality it meant "I hope so".