This one, is for Fabiquen. I know this is not really the scene that he'd want most but it should make a good second. In any case, this is a scene we talked about after one of his long reviews (I don't know why I specify, his reviews are just as endless as my author notes, that must be why we get along well) and it had made us laugh. I hope you enjoy it too. I added more ideas than we had initially.
Yes, well, I'll try to do a little more, I promise, but right now, I have messy inspiration, I have tons of things begun at the same time, everything's going, but I have nothing fenced, ready to release.
Happy New Year!
They didn't think before moving together. They had spent three perfect weeks on vacation together and had loved waking up in the arms of the other. The idea of extending this perfect feeling to the rest of the year seemed so natural. They hadn't thought two weeks of vacation abroad had nothing to do with sharing the everyday.
They lived together for three months when their first fight broke out. Or rather their first fight due to living together. Surprising that it didn't happen earlier: they each had their little quirks and say that it required some adjustments.
"David! Can you come please? "Sebastian shouted from the restroom.
"Yes, what's happening?" Dave asked, arriving toward his boyfriend.
"What is that?"
"Uh ... the toilet bowl." Dave replied, glancing at what Sebastian showed. "I thought that at your age, you'd know that."
"This is not what I'm talking about!"
"Okay ... what are you talking about then?"
"There's nothing that shocks you?"
"Uh… no. Should I? I feel I should."
"Look out the seat."
"You changed it? Sorry, it's the same color as the old one ..."
"I haven't changed it, no."
"So what's the problem? I don't understand."
"Look well. How is it now?"
"It is ... down?" Dave replied cautiously for fear of giving the wrong answer.
"Here ... You finally understood."
"Honestly, no, I still don't see what the problem is."
"You don't see the problem?"
"No, I don't see the problem. You can maybe explain it to me instead of play guessing at seven in the morning because now I have to get ready to go to class." Dave got mad.
"Nineteen years I have to lift and lower the fucking seat every time I go to piss because apparently us men have to do every efforts to ensure that these ladies have nothing else to do than sit quietly like princesses on their throne and when I finally settle down with my boyfriend without a woman on the horizon, I have to fall on the only guy who gets off on it to lower the seat."
"It's just that the problem? You just had to say it. I'll make an effort to let it up."
"Thank you!"
"Anything else?"
"No, that's all."
"Good. Scrambled eggs or omelet?"
"Omelet? With cheese and bacon please." Sebastian replied, somewhat mollified.
"With cheese and bacon, okay." Dave said, kissing the cheek of his boyfriend.
It took a few months or a few years and several fights before Dave lost his old habit.
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"You can give me the milk Vid please?"
"I'd love it, but there's no more."
"What? It was you who went grocery shopping last time. Why didn't you take some?"
"I hope you're joking now Sebastian!"
"No, why?"
"Wrong answer! I haven't bought some milk because someone started the spare bottle without warning and plus, that same someone has finished the bottle of milk, still without saying anything and puted the empty bottle in the fridge. I thought there was some left, that's why I haven't bought some. So if you want milk, you lift your butt and you're going to buy."
"Or ... I could go and get directly to the source." Sebastian said with a suggestive tone approaching Dave.
"Begin with your personal source because there is no chance that you have access to mine today."
"Oh but he's angry my baby love."
"Don't try to soften me, next time you'll think twice before leaving the empty bottle in the fridge."
Coming out of the shower after that argument, Dave launched a last sneer.
"If you go out to buy milk, think of taking shower gel too. It's not that hard to put the bottle in the trash when it's empty!" And with these words he threw the empty bottle of shower gel towards his boyfriend who caught it just in time.
It was after that one argument that they had established the board of shopping list on which each would write down as and when what was missing in the apartment. It didn't prevent other arguments about it later, Sebastian was quite an airhead for this type of management, but overall, it worked pretty well.
And a few years later, when Lucy, Nalani and Adam had reached the age to eat something other than formula milk at breakfast, Sebastian never forgot to add to the list their favorite pop tart flavors when one of them went home to sleep.
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"David, have you seen my black cashmere sweater?"
"Uh ... Elsewhere than on you when you wear it? Yes, dozens of times in the dressing room."
"Okay, and besides, lately, since the last time I wore it?"
"No, I don't know. You watched in the dressing room?"
"According to you?"
"Well I don't know, perhaps in laundry basket no?"
"I turned the whole apartment, I don't find it."
"In the clothes to iron maybe."
"It's cashmere David, it's not to iron."
"Try anyway, it has possibly been put on the stack by mistake."
"I don't see how what we put to iron, it comes out of the dryer, that sweater is not going in the dryer."
"Oh ..." Dave said sheepishly.
"Vid? You didn't put it in the dryer?"
"Uh, I ..."
"David!"
"Sebastian?" Dave replied in a small voice.
"You put it in the dryer, right?"
"Uh ..."
"But what went through your head?"
"I haven't put it in the dryer."
"So what happened to it?"
"It hasn't enjoyed its journey in the washing machine."
"It's cashmere! Obviously it hasn't enjoyed its journey in the washing machine!"
"I didn't do it on purpose." Dave got mad.
"Thank goodness! It would really be the end if you had done it on purpose."
"Maybe it should just not have been in the basket of dirty laundry if it shouldn't be washed in the machine."
"And where did you want me to put it?"
"I don't know me. At one place that says I'm dirty, I should be taken to the dry cleaner's. Just not where we put all our clothes to wash in the machine."
"Wait, you're not telling me it's my fault if you put my favorite sweater in the machine?"
"And why not? It's just a sweater Sebastian; it's not the end of the world. I'll buy you another."
"This is not just a sweater Vid it's the sweater you gave me for our six months together."
"I know, but it's still just a sweater. It's not a sign of rupture; our history is not in this sweater."
"For you, maybe. I love this sweater. When I put it, I think of you, it's as if I snuggled into your arms. When you're not here and I miss you, it reassures me."
Dave smiled like an idiot hearing this confession and Sebastian got annoyed seeing it.
"Look, I knew you'd make fun of me if I told you. But you have no right to mock me when I'm mad at you."
"I'm not mocking you, I find it lovely. Can I get away with it by offering you my real arms this time? I promise I'll buy you another comforter tomorrow."
"It's not a comforter." Sebastian pouted.
"Yes, it is. But it doesn't matter." Dave said, taking the old green t-shirt with the Eiffel Tower that Sebastian had lent him the first time he had brought him at his house.
"What is the connection with our argument?" Sebastian asked, confused.
"The connection is that I have a comforter too. When I miss you, I take this t-shirt."
"But it's awful."
"Maybe, but it makes me think of you. Everyone can't have a cashmere sweater as a comforter. Can we stop this argument now?"
"We can think about it." Sebastian replied, snuggling in the arms of Dave. "I just need to find something else to wear to that dinner."
"Or ... we could call Tyler and Lisa and tell them we're sick and spend the evening alone together."
"It's a program I like." Sebastian replied by sliding a hand on the crotch of Dave.
"Well that's something that shirt doesn't do."
"How much it didn't like the washing machine?"
"We'll say that it must be the perfect size for a child of six or seven years." Dave replied lifting Sebastian who clung to him, his legs around his waist.
They bought a special basket for the clothes to bring to the dry cleaner's right the following Saturday and Dave bought a new sweater to Sebastian. But they kept the shrunken sweater as a reminder. A few years later, they chose to offer it to a child who had become very important in their lives.
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"Sebastian, you have to learn how to control yourself!" Dave shouted, just past the door of the apartment.
"What? He was insulting us and I should have let him?" Sebastian got angry.
"Yes, you should. He was two heads taller than you and he might have been not alone."
"And then what? It allowed him to insult us with impunity?"
"No, of course, I'd love for all the morons of the earth to be put in their place. But you can't always take care of it Scar."
"I can't put them all in place, but if I don't do it with those I meet, who will?"
"I don't know, I don't care. But I care about you, I don't want you to get killed because you'll have come across a nervous and haven't been able to hold your tongue."
"He hasn't killed me you see."
"Not this time, but it could happen. I wouldn't recover if it happened."
"Sorry, but I refuse to be insulted ..."
"Oh, you're so frustrating sometimes Sebastian! I love you, alive. I don't particularly like being insulted either, but I vowed to never again use my fists years ago."
"No one ask you to David."
"Yes, this is exactly what you'll force me to do one day if you don't lose that bad habit. Because the day when one of them will want to beat you as Blaine after his high school dance, you can't expect of me to remain idly doing nothing."
"It'll never go that far."
"Oh yeah? And why not? Blaine did nothing, he hadn't said them anything, all he did was going to a dance with another boy. Can you tell me why you, it wouldn't happen to you while you spend your time to tease them? You think you're invincible?"
"I'd rather die at their hands than let myself be dragged in the mud without saying anything."
"I hate you Sebastian. I love you but when you do that, I hate you. I hate that you'd leave me forever rather than just let them say, from time to time. I won't go flourish your grave if it happens, you are warned."
On his words, Dave came out of the apartment, slamming the door violently behind him, leaving Sebastian think back to his behavior. He made several tours of the area, walking, letting the fresh air of November soothe a little his anxiety of one day be separated from the man he loved the most because of his habit of always tease homophobes without ever worrying about the consequences.
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"No Vid, no way."
"But why not?"
"Because we've already seen it hundreds of times already."
"So what? This is a good movie anyway."
"No Vid, a good movie is The Butler, for example."
"But you can't compare, it's not at all the same kind."
"Okay, then I'll make you a comparison that you can't refute. Love Actually, that's a good movie. Not your 27 Dresses."
"Okay, Love Actually is better, but I didn't say it was the best movie, just that it was a good movie."
"Not good enough for me to agree to watch it when there is a Jets game."
"What? The Jets? You want me to miss 27 dresses for a Jets game? Are you joking? "
"Not at all, it's out of question that I miss a Jets game."
"The Jets? You're seriously still supporting the Jets? No, it's just not possible."
"Yes, I'm still a fan of the Jets. Don't start on it, I still don't see what you find in the Bears."
"I don't know, randomly, it's the Chicago team. You just say so if you'd rather live in New York. Go, Kurt is single right now I think."
"No, but what you do to me? It has nothing to do. It's just a football team, Kurt doesn't interfere with that."
"And why not?"
"Because we've already talked about it a thousand times. And especially because we're not talking about Kurt there."
"You prefer to talk about Blaine perhaps?"
"But I don't care about Kurt and Blaine, I'm with you, I don't wanna look elsewhere. I supported the Jets before I met you all. And stop changing conversation, we watch the game."
"It's not possible, I refuse to miss 27 dresses for a Jets game."
"But you have the DVD Vid, why do you want so much to watch it just tonight?"
"I must at all costs have a good reason?"
"To make me miss my game, it'd be better if you had a good reason, yes."
"Well sorry, I have no good reason, I just want to watch it tonight, OK?" Dave got mad.
"What happened? You had a bad day, right?"
"No, I don't see what makes you say that."
"You insist to see the film that you watch when you're feeling down, you suspect me of wanting to watch the game because I'd rather live in New York with Kurt or Blaine. I know you Vid, there's something bothering you."
"I think I failed my last exam. It counts for half of the grade. I'll fail my year. I ... I knew I had chosen the wrong path. How can I be a credible teacher if I fail my exams?" Dave dropped with quavering voice.
"Hey, no, Vid, I don't want to hear you say that anymore. You'll be the best teacher they'll have ever had. And you haven't yet failed your year. You strike me the blow every time, you tell me that you failed, and in the end you've had a great grade. We'll watch 27 dresses, we'll eat a jar of ice cream, go to bed and tomorrow it will be better, okay?"
"No. You're right, we watch the game, we keep the ice cream and if it's not better tomorrow, we can watch 27 Dresses. And I'm sorry. For what I said about Kurt and Blaine. I didn't really mean it."
"I know, it's okay, I forgive you."
Sebastian knew. He knew that Dave had this tendency to feel threatened when his morale wasn't rosy. Often it was Kurt or Blaine, but it could be any man around them. Once even he made a scene about Lisa when he was worried about the last medical examination of Paul, who had finally revealed nothing but a small peak of cholesterol without seriousness.
Over the years, Sebastian had learnt how to know that if Dave suspected him of cheating in the middle of an argument that really had nothing to do with it, it was a sign that he had to worry about something else.