Chapter Two: The Scientific Method
"Carly, you're out of ham!" the always starving blonde called out to her best friend, slamming the fridge door shut in frustration.
"That's because you ate it all." Carly answered, looking up from the homework she was working on. "And besides, you should be finishing your paper for science". Sam moaned in mock agony.
"How am I supposed to do anything on an empty stomach?" As if on cue, her stomach grumbled loudly. Sam gave her stomach a pat and shot Carly a look that said "See?"
"I think there's some jerky in the pantry" Carly said, shaking her head in amazement at Sam's bottomless stomach. Then, remembering something, she added "Hey, isn't your date with Freddie tonight?"
"It's NOT a date!" Sam growled through clenched teeth.
"Okay…" Carly conceded, though she couldn't hide the smile on her face. Luckily, Sam had her back turned to her while she rummaged through the pantry in a desperate search for dried meat. Then there was a knock on the door.
"I GOT IT!" Spencer yelled as he ran out of his room in a mad rush for the door. "That might be the new ShamPOW I ordered!"
"What happened to your old one?" Carly asked.
"I don't wanna talk about it…" Spencer mumbled, then threw open the door. What he found wasn't a delivery man - it was Freddie.
"Oh, it's just you" Spencer said, disappointed.
"What do you mean it's just me?"
"Oh, I was hoping you were…. Come in!" Spencer said, opening the door further so that Freddie had room to enter. Freddie arched an eyebrow at him, shook his head and walked in.
"Where's Sam?" he asked Carly.
"BUSY!" came Sam's voice from behind the counter where she was still searching for the jerky. Head pooped up and she whined "I thought you said you had jerky?"
"Oh, I kinda gave that to our neighbor, Mr. Whipperman…" Spencer admitted. Sam let out a frustrated growl.
"I'm starving!"
"Don't worry" Freddie said. "We're going to the Cheesecake Warehouse. I'm sure that'll be enough, even for you."
"Yeah, we'll see…" Sam stomped to the couch and retrieved her jacket, then headed to the door with Freddie.
"We'll be back in a couple of hours." He said to Carly, then mumbled "If I live that long…."
"Okay! Sam, remember that talk we had about not eating until your stomach exploded!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on, Fredlumps, let's get this over with." Sam said, shoving Freddie out the door.
"You guys going on a date?" Spencer asked before they shut the door.
"IT'S NOT A DATE!" Freddie and Sam yelled together and slammed the door. Spencer looked at Carly, confused and a little hurt.
"It's a long, strange story." Carly replied. "Uh…why did you give Mr. Whipperman our jerky?"
"I just thought he, you know, would like some and so…."
"You ran over his cat again didn't you?" Carly scolded.
"You can't prove that!" Spencer said and then ran back into his room.
[Later….]
Carly had finished her homework and was now enjoying the new episode of Girly Cow when the peace was suddenly broken.
"All I'm saying is that you wouldn't usually act like that!" Came Freddie's voice from the hallway, followed by the Shay's apartment door being flung open. Freddie marched in, followed immediately by Sam, who was already firing a comeback.
"Well how am I supposed to act normal with some nub following me around?"
"You know what? You are just so…" Carly couldn't really make out what he said next because Sam jumped in and they started talking over each other in a jumble of words and insults.
"Guys?" Carly said, but with no luck in slowing down the argument machine that was Sam and Freddie.
"GUYS!" Carly yelled, daring to step between the feuding duo. They both stopped yelling, though they still eyed each other angrily.
"What happened?" Carly asked, directing the question more towards Sam.
"The dweeb here spent the whole time trying to make me insult him!"
"Oh, like you weren't more than happy to do so!" Freddie shot back. They were about to fall back into their screaming match, but Carly stopped them before it could begin.
"Well, what did you guys think would happen?"
"I don't know. It's just…" Freddie began.
"…that didn't prove anything. You weren't acting like you normally would, you were just trying to get me to mess up." Sam finished for him.
"Fine! We'll do this scientifically!" Freddie spat.
"Scientifically" Carly asked. Freddie rolled his eyes and made his way to the door, opened it, then turned back around to face Carly and Sam.
"We'll have to do this again, same time next week. And this time, we both act normal!" Freddie said, frustrated.
"Won't that be impossible for you?" Sam said, adding a cocky smile at the end of her insult. Freddie let out a flustered yell, slammed the door, and was gone. Carly turned slowly toward Sam and eyed her suspiciously.
"So… you two are going on another date?" the brunette asked.
"I told you, it's NOT a date! I WOULD NEVER date Fredward Benson!" Sam practically screamed, then she too stormed out of the apartment.
Carly plopped back down on the couch, trying desperately to piece together the puzzle that was Sam and Freddie's volatile relationship, when Spencer came out from his room.
"Hey, I heard yelling, is everything okay?"
Carly honestly didn't know how to answer that question.