Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I only love them with a
fiery passion and longing that would probably kill me if it existed within
this reality... anyway, as you can probably tell, I make no money from this,
in fact my only gain is the slim hope of sanity that putting this story on
hard drive allows me to cling to. Enjoy!!
Authors Note: This story takes place in Season 4, right after Something Blue, Hush, Doomed (same night as Doomed end... basically he rants, they leave). Please review, critism welcome (if I don't like it... I'm sending Spike... wait, maybe not... he's mind... grrrrrrrrrrrrr to anyone who wants him).
And yes, I'm a little insane... but its my edge.
~*~*~*~
Second Chance
Part 2
Aching silence had mingled among her pain until it was everything she knew, sitting crookedly on her knees, slouched over on grass grown softly on the decaying bodies below, more at peace and more useful than she could ever hope to be. She had stayed that way until her legs turned numb, even longer. She was willing to die there, willing to fall victim to anyone willing to take away her pain. She wondered just how long that would take when she felt cool hands belonging to the shadow above her, forgotten in her pain, as they clasped her shoulders firmly, pulling her straight as he squatted to her level.
Moving hair from her eyes Spike looked at the broken woman that he had come to understand as her cascade of tears spoke her sorrow to him, sighing as green on red reminded him of pain that he knew all too well as his own. Looking down, he helped her to her feet, saying nothing as she leaned against him, the tingling in her legs and the ache in her heart making her too weak to stand on her own. "Come on luv, its too dangerous for you to stay out here all night."
Placid and complying, all her energy focused on keeping her breaths coming one after the next, she allowed him to lead her out of the cemetery that knew most of her nights, many of her secrets and all of her pains. "Where are we going?"
Confused by his caring, damning the mortal version of himself that was concerned about her dying eyes and expressionless face, he continued to lead her down the street. "To the dorm luv. You need a good night's rest."
Suddenly she stopped, freeing herself from Spike's loose grip. "No." She looked around like a lost girl searching for home, trying to find some reminiscence of herself to latch onto. "Sleep isn't good. Its bad, memories, they haunt me there, they hurt me." A new wave of tears slid down her face. "Oz loved me there, he left me there to feel barren of his love. How can I go back there? How can I live alone?"
Patience running thin, not wanting the slayer to catch him with the witch while she was in that state, he gripped her face between his hands, wiping tears away with his thumbs as quickly as they were being made. "We all do luv, it's the way it is."
"No it isn't Spike, you know that. We're capable of loving with everything we have, we are suppose to do that, we are suppose to be loved back with everything they have." Sobs choked her speech, "Why don't they love us?"
Not knowing how to answer the question that could have been his own he pulled her tightly to him, afraid that if he let her go, he'd be lost forever. "I don't know luv. This world's just not right. If it were, there'd be no slayers." He sighed in relief as she gave a pained chuckle and punched him weakly, pulling from his grasp. Smiling, he again wiped her cheeks dry. "Where do you want to go?"
"Home, my parent's place."
He nodded, willing in that moment to go to hell's gates as long as she would be safe from those outside, safe from the ghosts that haunted them all. "Lead the way pet."
~*~*~*~
The house was dark and uninviting as they walked onto the front porch; Willow reaching up behind one of the porch lights for the spare key as Spike gazed around nonchalantly. Willow hadn't said anything on the way home, not that he really minded, there was times when silence suited him, then, when his own pain was in need of attention was one of them.
"Well Red, your folks really know how to roll out the welcome mat now don't they?"
She glared at him, no longer in the mood to do anything but sleep, as she opened the door and again worked the lock until it freed the long unloved key. "They're in Paris, or is it London? I don't know where, just not here." Shrugging she turned the light on in the foyer, looking over her shoulder at the Vampire who didn't know what to do next. "Come in," she said mixed in within a yawn.
Stepping in and shutting the door, he gazed around not really caring what the place looked like, and followed his charge into the kitchen. "What're you doing Red?" He asked as a sigh, watching as she moved about putting a kettle on the stove.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm making tea."
He stifled a laugh as he took off his duster and threw it over the island in the middle of the room. "You've been around the watcher too long ducks. Try some liquor, it helps more than the British stand by."
She looked down, shifting her feet idly. "Tried that, didn't really work. It started the whole "My Will" fiasco."
He nodded, shuddering at the memory of having Buffy's lips and body so near his own... parts. "Ah yes, and we wouldn't want another one of those."
She winced, having not really thought of what mental angst it may have caused him, at the time, not really knowing enough to care. "I am sorry about that Spike."
He smiled at her, surprised and moved at her concern over his feelings. "It's okay luv. I did get a cookie out of it."
She laughed. For the first time in longer than she could remember she laughed. And, through the echoing halls of her shattered soul, it felt good. "Thank you."
Winking, a smile of his own resting naturally on his face, he sat on a stool across from her. "Think nothing of it. The cookie was good."
Her smile fell as she again looked to the stove. "I meant for tonight. No one else understands. They all had their hearts smashed and stomped on and cried until they healed... but none of them are willing to let me the same courtesy." Groaning in frustration she walked over to the freezer and pulled out a tube of ice cream and, grabbing two spoons, she sat beside Spike.
Shrugging, picking up one spoon as she opened the ice cream, neither caring as to the flavour, he indulged in their silent understanding. "They're too happy now to think of their pain, too happy to want to be pulled down by yours." He pulled the spoon from his mouth, waiting until it melted into cool pleasure and comfort before getting another.
Swallowing, the pain in her eyes going down, she looked at the Vampire next to her, gesturing with her spoon as she spoke. "But that's not fair."
"Like I told you before, life ain't either. It stinks and hurts and kicks you when you're down. But it does have its good points?"
"Like?"
"Blood."
She laughed, looking down. "Ice cream."
Nodding, he shared her eager grin. "Soaps."
"Music."
"Killing." He sounded almost wistful, making her ponder passions of her own.
"Hugs." Her smile fell to a grin, as she recalled what she was no longer getting
"Torture." He looked down, thinking about everything he could once do to people, the pain he could inflict on them, to now, only have that pain inflicted back upon himself when he tried.
"Kisses."
He inhaled deeply, smelling her pain mixed with the chocolate of the ice cream and the scent of his own demise. It smelled sweeter than anything he could recall in a long time... since Dru. "Sex."
Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up to meet his hungry gaze, one mirrored by her own needs. In his look he offered her everything she longed to feel, comfort, safety, freedom from the loneliness that ate her alive. It would be so easy to rid herself of such things, to just lean over and allow her weaknesses to claim her and just will her hurt away. He understood her, he felt the same way, he needed the same thing. They both needed to be free. It would be so easy—so easy to just let go... and free themselves together...
Authors Note: This story takes place in Season 4, right after Something Blue, Hush, Doomed (same night as Doomed end... basically he rants, they leave). Please review, critism welcome (if I don't like it... I'm sending Spike... wait, maybe not... he's mind... grrrrrrrrrrrrr to anyone who wants him).
And yes, I'm a little insane... but its my edge.
~*~*~*~
Second Chance
Part 2
Aching silence had mingled among her pain until it was everything she knew, sitting crookedly on her knees, slouched over on grass grown softly on the decaying bodies below, more at peace and more useful than she could ever hope to be. She had stayed that way until her legs turned numb, even longer. She was willing to die there, willing to fall victim to anyone willing to take away her pain. She wondered just how long that would take when she felt cool hands belonging to the shadow above her, forgotten in her pain, as they clasped her shoulders firmly, pulling her straight as he squatted to her level.
Moving hair from her eyes Spike looked at the broken woman that he had come to understand as her cascade of tears spoke her sorrow to him, sighing as green on red reminded him of pain that he knew all too well as his own. Looking down, he helped her to her feet, saying nothing as she leaned against him, the tingling in her legs and the ache in her heart making her too weak to stand on her own. "Come on luv, its too dangerous for you to stay out here all night."
Placid and complying, all her energy focused on keeping her breaths coming one after the next, she allowed him to lead her out of the cemetery that knew most of her nights, many of her secrets and all of her pains. "Where are we going?"
Confused by his caring, damning the mortal version of himself that was concerned about her dying eyes and expressionless face, he continued to lead her down the street. "To the dorm luv. You need a good night's rest."
Suddenly she stopped, freeing herself from Spike's loose grip. "No." She looked around like a lost girl searching for home, trying to find some reminiscence of herself to latch onto. "Sleep isn't good. Its bad, memories, they haunt me there, they hurt me." A new wave of tears slid down her face. "Oz loved me there, he left me there to feel barren of his love. How can I go back there? How can I live alone?"
Patience running thin, not wanting the slayer to catch him with the witch while she was in that state, he gripped her face between his hands, wiping tears away with his thumbs as quickly as they were being made. "We all do luv, it's the way it is."
"No it isn't Spike, you know that. We're capable of loving with everything we have, we are suppose to do that, we are suppose to be loved back with everything they have." Sobs choked her speech, "Why don't they love us?"
Not knowing how to answer the question that could have been his own he pulled her tightly to him, afraid that if he let her go, he'd be lost forever. "I don't know luv. This world's just not right. If it were, there'd be no slayers." He sighed in relief as she gave a pained chuckle and punched him weakly, pulling from his grasp. Smiling, he again wiped her cheeks dry. "Where do you want to go?"
"Home, my parent's place."
He nodded, willing in that moment to go to hell's gates as long as she would be safe from those outside, safe from the ghosts that haunted them all. "Lead the way pet."
~*~*~*~
The house was dark and uninviting as they walked onto the front porch; Willow reaching up behind one of the porch lights for the spare key as Spike gazed around nonchalantly. Willow hadn't said anything on the way home, not that he really minded, there was times when silence suited him, then, when his own pain was in need of attention was one of them.
"Well Red, your folks really know how to roll out the welcome mat now don't they?"
She glared at him, no longer in the mood to do anything but sleep, as she opened the door and again worked the lock until it freed the long unloved key. "They're in Paris, or is it London? I don't know where, just not here." Shrugging she turned the light on in the foyer, looking over her shoulder at the Vampire who didn't know what to do next. "Come in," she said mixed in within a yawn.
Stepping in and shutting the door, he gazed around not really caring what the place looked like, and followed his charge into the kitchen. "What're you doing Red?" He asked as a sigh, watching as she moved about putting a kettle on the stove.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm making tea."
He stifled a laugh as he took off his duster and threw it over the island in the middle of the room. "You've been around the watcher too long ducks. Try some liquor, it helps more than the British stand by."
She looked down, shifting her feet idly. "Tried that, didn't really work. It started the whole "My Will" fiasco."
He nodded, shuddering at the memory of having Buffy's lips and body so near his own... parts. "Ah yes, and we wouldn't want another one of those."
She winced, having not really thought of what mental angst it may have caused him, at the time, not really knowing enough to care. "I am sorry about that Spike."
He smiled at her, surprised and moved at her concern over his feelings. "It's okay luv. I did get a cookie out of it."
She laughed. For the first time in longer than she could remember she laughed. And, through the echoing halls of her shattered soul, it felt good. "Thank you."
Winking, a smile of his own resting naturally on his face, he sat on a stool across from her. "Think nothing of it. The cookie was good."
Her smile fell as she again looked to the stove. "I meant for tonight. No one else understands. They all had their hearts smashed and stomped on and cried until they healed... but none of them are willing to let me the same courtesy." Groaning in frustration she walked over to the freezer and pulled out a tube of ice cream and, grabbing two spoons, she sat beside Spike.
Shrugging, picking up one spoon as she opened the ice cream, neither caring as to the flavour, he indulged in their silent understanding. "They're too happy now to think of their pain, too happy to want to be pulled down by yours." He pulled the spoon from his mouth, waiting until it melted into cool pleasure and comfort before getting another.
Swallowing, the pain in her eyes going down, she looked at the Vampire next to her, gesturing with her spoon as she spoke. "But that's not fair."
"Like I told you before, life ain't either. It stinks and hurts and kicks you when you're down. But it does have its good points?"
"Like?"
"Blood."
She laughed, looking down. "Ice cream."
Nodding, he shared her eager grin. "Soaps."
"Music."
"Killing." He sounded almost wistful, making her ponder passions of her own.
"Hugs." Her smile fell to a grin, as she recalled what she was no longer getting
"Torture." He looked down, thinking about everything he could once do to people, the pain he could inflict on them, to now, only have that pain inflicted back upon himself when he tried.
"Kisses."
He inhaled deeply, smelling her pain mixed with the chocolate of the ice cream and the scent of his own demise. It smelled sweeter than anything he could recall in a long time... since Dru. "Sex."
Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up to meet his hungry gaze, one mirrored by her own needs. In his look he offered her everything she longed to feel, comfort, safety, freedom from the loneliness that ate her alive. It would be so easy to rid herself of such things, to just lean over and allow her weaknesses to claim her and just will her hurt away. He understood her, he felt the same way, he needed the same thing. They both needed to be free. It would be so easy—so easy to just let go... and free themselves together...