these violent delights (have violent ends)

chapter II

by nocturnalis

Annabeth sat motionless in her room, staring at a sliver of paper. The numbers, scrawled in a messy slant, had captivated her for hours. It shouldn't have, logically it shouldn't have. But it had. Percy was— he was incredible. As cliche as she knew it sounded, Annabeth had truly never met anyone like him. Yet, she couldn't help but bite her lip in trepidation. Annabeth was strategic and logical, yeah, but when it came to people, at least, she never could be sure how their interaction could go. She was socially awkward. It was a state of fact; a simple truth. She knew this, and she couldn't help but wonder if last night had been a fluke.

Usually, she's quite sure of herself, but last night her judgement had failed her. She always thought her decisions through. She put brainpower into anything and everything that she could. And then— Matt had stood her up. And as great as Percy had been — saving her from embarrassment like that — it was as if she couldn't trust herself anymore, or at least her ability to read people, that is. And if she couldn't trust herself, how could she trust that Percy would show up next Friday to another date? She was no stranger to anxiety and paranoia, and Annabeth recognized it plainly as it flared up poignantly. What if Percy doesn't even come? whispered her mind, just throw away his number and go on as if you never met him. Avoid the heartache.

Annabeth had to admit it, the idea was annoyingly convincing. There's no reward without risk, but why risk at all if the reward isn't even that great? Ugh. Annabeth hated this. She hated the indecisiveness and insecurity. She hated how unstable things became when she got emotional, when she tried to be happy for once.

At one point in her life, Annabeth supposed, she must have been content. She must have been. How sad would her life truly be if happiness really was such a foreign concept? She had distant, nebulous recollections of a time when it was just her and her dad. A far-away time where her father didn't yell and their house was big enough for both of them. Vague memories of drifting to sleep on a ratty couch as her father read the Chronicles of Narnia or Harry Potter to her. Movie nights with just her and her dad, snuggling together under a too-big blanket for warmth and watching Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark. Those were joyful times, days without worry or anxiety.

Her mother and father had only been together long enough to have her. They hadn't even married — Athena had never liked the idea of being tied to a man, as her father had told her — her mother had given full custody of Annabeth over to her father a few months after she'd been born and then left, resuming her travels of the globe. Annabeth had never even met the woman until she was 5 years old. It was around that time that her life, wonderful despite its imperfections, had started to fall apart. Regardless of her protests, her dad had become locked onto the idea of a mother figure. Eventually, he fell in love with a tall Asian woman named Helen Yu. By the time Annabeth had turned 8, her father had married her and Helen Yu — now Helen Chase — had become her new step-mother. But Annabeth had never truly been able to bond with her like she had with her father. If anything, Helen had further distanced her from her father and when a year later and her half brothers Matthew and Bobby were born, stealing even more of Frederick Chase's attention, the distance was even more prominent.

She'd grown up aloof, a distinct entity from her family. When they'd moved from Virginia to San Francisco when she was 12 it had only further alienated her by separating her from the few friends that she had. Only few years later they'd once again moved, this time to New York City.

Never before in Annabeth's life had she felt so alone. Like she'd done in the past, she threw herself into her schoolwork. She'd been stressed for most of this year. Now, with only a week left of her 10th grade year, she'd made a feeble attempt to have a nice night out. Matt had turned out to be a jerk, yes, that had been embarrassing and honestly a little traumatizing. It had been her first actual date in months — actually, it had been her first date at all since she'd moved to New York — and it had been so close to going terribly enough that it ensured she didn't go on a date for another year. Instead, she had met someone new, someone kind and charismatic and just… amazing. It was rather inexplicable but if she was candid, Percy really was just that. As much as it was unlike her, it was just her honest opinion, spoken from the heart.

Is this what love is like? Annabeth wondered blearily. She wasn't sure what exactly how she felt, only that Percy made her feel — well, she didn't really know what he made her feel. This was such unexplored territory, an unfamiliar and foreign feeling that made her heart skip a beat.

The only thing she knows for certain is that whatever it is that Percy means to her, he's worth taking a risk for.

Annabeth picks up her phone and glances down once again to the thin piece of paper Percy had slipped her with his phone number on it. She stared at the digits for a second before typing them into her phone and double-checking that they're correct.

Hey, Annabeth types in trepidation, this is Annabeth, from last night, you still up for Friday?

Then she sits back and waits in anxiety, or maybe, just maybe, in hope, for a response.

A/N: please read!

thank you all for being so patient! this should have come out so long ago and im sorry it didn't. in the mean time, thanks so much to allen r for their title suggestion, this new title is actually an idea from a friend and happens to be my favorite quote from the book it's from. If you comment the correct book ill give you a shout-out!

there are also some things i would like to ask you guys about. for one, what do you think perspective-wise? im pretty much definitely going to keep writing in third but what do you think about having the perspectives of characters other then annabeth? im leaning towards doing this because i'd love to input plenty of world building. tell me your thoughts in the comments!

also, if there are any characters who you specifically have any ideas about role they could play in this au, id love to hear them! i don't want this to just be a romance story, sorry in advance for anyone who was just hoping for fluff, im really excited to actually build this whole au and flesh it out- which will likely include many tears, heart breaks, and issues derived from absent parents.

chapter-wise, im hoping for at least 1k words per chapter, 2k if i can manage it, every friday afternoon (eastern time) though honestly im anything but consistent so bare with me here, reviews really do help drive the story forward so i really do appreciate every single one, i had major writer's block this chapter and all your support really helped.

finally, i edited some things from last chapter to fit my vision for this story, for one, annabeth and percy are now at the end of their 10th grade year (for my non-american readers, they're about 16 each) with only a week or so left in the school year, this will allow me to better understand how to write them since im only a year younger than that, it also helps me to keep their time more aligned with ours, so hopefully by next chapter everything will be more or less happening at the same time in the summer as it is for us. furthermore, i changed it so that annabeth came to new york a few months ago instead of in 9th grade.

thanks so much once again

~nocturnalis

(btw what do you think of my new username?)