I know i'm a failure. I accepted it long ago, embraced it and in some ways lived off that.
But then I met her. She was perfect, flawless in a human way. She had problems but I learned to live them.
Then I decided I was tired of being a failure. I wanted to change, I wanted to make a difference so I kissed her. No nkt Jenna I kissed Artemis. If your wondering why I did it, it had nothing to do with any attraction to her. I wanted to make a difference I wanted tk kindly ask her if she'd make the promise to swear off men a little less...deadly. When she wouldn't I thought a kiss would make it all better. That one kiss would show her what sort of thing she's missing out on. But maybe I shouldn't have kissed her because she would still be here if I hadn't. Everything would be fine.
"Roe baby careful," I advised my fifteen month old niece as she began eating the remote. Jamie sat next to me helping me build a miniature city. More like I wad building and hr was throwing them around. I can't remember my dad ever doing these things with me. I remember driving race cars with him at three, sneaking into night clubs at ten, getting all sorts of magazines and items no six year old should have. I remember videos my mother disapproved of and advice that seemed good at the time. The problem is when there's so many people telling you different things it's difficult. Mom said I would grow up to be a charming young man. Respectful, gentle, and a bunch of stuff expected from the goddess of love. Dad wanted me to be a ruthless man who didn't care about other people's feelings. He wanted me to be one of those guys who bang their hands on their chests and say 'Me man. Me make fire,' and a whole lot more expected of Hades. Uncle Zues never had good expectations for me. He was too focused on always pushing his daughter above me. Always busy trying to push me down. Uncle Poseidon was always kind when he saw me, the kinda dad I wish mine was sometimes. I rarely got to be around him. But as messed up as I am, as much as I wished I had a bit more of a stable childhood i'm ok with how things went.
Except for the fact there was no good examples. They all cheated their spouses countless times. Why wasn't Blake like that? Probably becausr no one expected low of her. Why wasn't Rylie like that? Well...That's a debatable statement. She's rocky on relationships in her own way.
That's why i'm never having kids. That's why i'm never getting married. If I don't do any of those things I can't screw up any worse than I already have right?
Roe toddled over and crawled in my lap and smiled up at me and for a moment none of that mattered. I had my niece and my nephew who both love me. They don't see the monster. Or maybe they do. A pit as vast as tarterus formed in my stomach. I don't want to be that bad example. A few mess ups fine, they need to learn it's ok to not be perfect. Something their moms could've used a lesson in.