A/N: Thank you so much for your kind reviews on the first chapter. I certainly hope you will find this one equally satisfying. Again, listen to the theme song of the chapter and please review should you have a moment to spare. Have a fuinntastic holiday!
Song: The Mess I Made
Artist: Parachute
"So," Finn started uncertainly as the waitress Quinn had been talking to earlier handed them their menus. "What brings you back here Fabray?"
The woman winked at her before she left the table, obviously unaware that the two had history. She could feel her cheeks flush. Oh God. This was so embarrassing. Luckily for her, Finn didn't seem to notice.
"Are you going to answer me?" he wondered when she had remained unresponsive for too long. "Or am I supposed to guess here?"
"Oh, of course not," she squeaked, clearing her throat awkwardly afterward to bring her voice back down to normal. "Um, I thought I'd come back to visit my parents. They've always been the ones to fly over and see me for the last eight years, so I thought it was time that I returned the favor."
Damn. That didn't even sound convincing to her.
Well, she wasn't lying to him per se. Sure, she wasn't really here to visit her parents (at least that wasn't the sole purpose of her little trip back here), but the second part about them always coming to visit her in New York instead of her coming back home to see them was a hundred percent true!
Hearing herself admit it out loud just now though made her feel like a terrible daughter. Thankfully, her parents understood why she hated coming back to Lima. There were simply too many memories of him here.
"I see," he commented, eyes twinkling with amusement, evidently not buying her reason. "Funny enough, I bumped into your mother earlier today actually. She didn't mention anything about you being here. I do believe that bit about you never having set foot in Lima though since after our high school graduation. That much I know is true. So, come on Quinn. What are you really doing back here tonight?"
She swallowed hard, averting her eyes from his penetrating gaze. Crap, and was he smirking? Smug bastard. She took a moment to gather her thoughts. She could sell this small lie to him, no problem. She was a lawyer for God's sake, one who charged her clients up to a whopping $500 an hour for her work! She sure as hell could handle one Finn Hudson.
"I wish I had a different agenda Finn, but I'm really here to just see my parents," she repeated, the lie rolling easily off her tongue. "My flight landed like two hours ago. I just thought I'd grab a bite to eat before heading over to surprise them, you know?"
"Of course," Finn echoed mockingly, still clearly not believing her.
Quinn took a sip of her drink in desperation, wanting to change the subject and fast lest he continue to interrogate her about why she was really here at Breadsticks tonight.
Come on! Think of a topic, any topic Quinn…Oh, perfect!
"So, how are you and Rachel doing?" she wondered casually, more than happy that the attention would be off of her now.
Much to her surprise though, his demeanor changed almost instantly upon hearing her question. Either her mind was playing tricks on her or he actually looked…upset.
"I am not going to ask you again Finn," Rachel shouted, pointing a finger at him accusingly. "Did you or did you not come with me to New York just so you could see Quinn again?"
His eyes widened in shock over her accusation. How did she find out?
"Rachel, calm down," he pleaded with her, opting (wisely) to lie. "I came here to support you in your audition for Spring Awakening. You know that."
It was the half truth. He had just had a small side mission in coming with her to the Big Apple was all.
"No, I will not calm down!" she spat as she began to pace back and forth in front of him. "I think I at least deserve the truth Finn. Jesse saw you standing outside of Remi with Puck last night!"
Fuck. He never hated Jesse more than he did in that very moment.
"We passed by and then left Rachel," he assured her, holding his head in his hands in frustration. "Honestly, where does Jesse get the idea that I was there to see Quinn?"
Also a half truth. He had told Rachel a lot of those in the duration of their relationship.
"Because Quinn was there for a corporate Christmas party," she enlightened him, hands on her hips now, facing him. "And I know that for a fact because I got Puck drunk last night and he told me. You were there for the sole purpose of 'wanting to catch a glimpse of Quinn again'. His words, not mine, so you can stop lying to me Finn."
He shot up from the bed then to confront her, absolutely livid, "What? You got my best friend drunk to grill him for information?"
She rolled her eyes, pushing her hair off her shoulders in exasperation.
"Please, he was already on his way there, but yeah, I did," she confirmed, not backing down. "What other choice did I have? I mean, you're not exactly the poster boy for honesty Finn. You used to be once upon a time, but recently, I don't even know who you are anymore!"
He sighed. He knew there was no way he was getting out of this one without telling the truth, so he did.
"Fine Rachel," he admitted, throwing his hands up into the air in defeat. "Yeah, I wanted to see Quinn again. Look, can we just drop this? I didn't even talk to her or anything."
He suspected that any minute now, the front desk would be calling up to inform them of the flood of complaints they were receiving regarding all of the noise coming from their room.
"Drop this?" Rachel screeched, beyond furious with him now. "Are you serious? I just found out that my longtime boyfriend is still pining over his ex-girlfriend. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that? Huh? You still love her, don't you? Answer me Finn!"
He didn't quite know what came over him then, but he snapped. He had never lost his temper with her before, not like this at least.
"Will you stop being so goddamn dramatic all the time?" he barked back and immediately she grew quiet because Finn rarely ever used that tone with her. "Ever since graduation Rachel, everything has been about you. Every time you have an audition somewhere, I make sure I'm there. I'm rehearsing your lines with you. I'm helping you pick out your stage costumes. When you get a part, I celebrate with you and when you get turned down, I have to hear you bitch about how the casting director simply doesn't appreciate your talents. My whole freaking life revolves around you Rachel!"
"That's not fair Finn," she whispered, sitting on the bed now, her head hung low. "I support you too. I go to all of your games to cheer you on. I mean sure, I had to miss the last two maybe because I had auditions and whatnot, but…"
He looked at her in complete disbelief. Was she serious?
"Last two?" Finn scoffed, correcting her. "Let me refresh your memory Rachel. The last game you came to was about three months ago. I've had plenty more since then."
She only continued to stare at him with her innocent wide eyes upon the reminder.
"You know I wanted to be there for all of them Finn, but my auditions are important to me," she reminded him, reaching out to touch his arm in an effort to console him. "I was there in spirit every single time though. Besides, your team always wins anyway."
"Your auditions are frankly all the same to me too," he shot back, shrugging off her hand. "What's your point?"
She remained silent, her eyes tearing up a little now. He watched her from where he was standing for a moment before he finally sighed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. Yelling at Rachel was like kicking a puppy, absolutely deplorable.
"Wait, don't cry," he begged her, sitting down on the bed beside her. "I'm sorry Rachel. I just…I get frustrated because you always seem to think that your dreams are more important than mine. I mean, the other night, you just told me that if you got the lead in Spring Awakening, we'd move to New York permanently. Did you even ask me if that's what I wanted?"
"Finn, there's only one Broadway," she tried to reason with him, drying her tears with the tissue he handed her from the side table. "You can be a football coach anywhere."
"Maybe I don't want to be a football coach just anywhere Rachel," he told her, trying hard to keep his cool. "Have you ever thought about that? Maybe my dream is to be a football coach at Boston University, nowhere else."
Before Rachel could answer him, her cell phone rang. She excused herself and frankly, Finn was grateful for the intrusion.
Ten minutes later, she hung up, turning around to face him again, her features devoid of all emotion. Yeah, that face meant business.
"That was Jesse," she informed him after keeping him in suspense for a moment or two, electronic device still in hand. "We got the leads. So, what now Finn? Because I've dreamt of this day for too long to give it up."
"Well, I'm not giving up on my dream either Rachel," he stressed, standing his ground. "I'm not starting fresh again in a new city. I like where I am now."
She waited for him to suggest a solution, a long distance relationship perhaps. When he didn't, she took a shaky breath to compose herself. Regardless of her now broken heart, her dream of being on Broadway had finally come true.
"Well then, I guess you've made your choice Finn," she murmured, swiftly grabbing her purse before heading for the hotel door. "But don't for a second blame this breakup on me. My dreams are not too big for you to handle Finn. Worse come to worse, we could have had a long distance relationship, you in Boston, me here in New York, but you never even considered that, did you? You've been looking for an excuse to break up with me for awhile Finn. I'm hardly naïve."
He remained quiet, mostly because he knew everything she was saying was true.
"This breakup has everything to do with perfect little Miss Quinn Fabray," she finished haughtily, masking her pain with utmost expertise.
After all, was she not an actress?
"Lie to me all you want Finn, but stop lying to yourself. You never stopped loving her."
She slammed the door not soon after. It was a sound he would remember for the rest of his life.
Rachel had turned out to be right. All other problems aside, he had never stopped loving Quinn. He had merely been in denial.
"We broke up about two years ago," he informed her finally, his head hung low at the memory.
Her eyes widened upon hearing his confession. No wonder he had looked so depressed. How could she not have known that?
"Sorry to hear that," she managed to comment after overcoming her initial shock and he shrugged in response.
"Her dreams were too big for me I guess," he lied, trying to keep a straight face in front of her.
You were always the one I wanted.
When she remained silent and started to poke uneasily at her food, he moved on, "Have you seen her on Broadway by the way? She's currently in a production of Spring Awakening with Jesse St. James. You remember him from high school, don't you? They announced their engagement last week actually. I don't know if you've heard."
"Uh yeah. In fact, a colleague and I went to see the show last year. She was phenomenal. I guess she turned out to be the star she always knew she was. I had absolutely no idea about you and her though. I guess I missed a lot, huh?" Quinn noted then and Finn had to agree with her.
"You didn't have to," he told her, adding, "You chose to forget us all."
You chose to forget me. I went looking for you Quinn.
She set her fork down forcefully on the table upon hearing his accusation. Who the hell did he think he was?
"That's not true," she whispered, hating him for even going there.
I didn't have a choice.
"Come on Quinn," he called her out, looking her straight in the eyes now. "You disappeared after graduation without even saying goodbye! We all had to find out from your mother that you were headed to New York and what about all those glee club reunions we've had in the last few years? Did your invitations get lost in the mail or something? Is that it?"
He almost wanted to hear her say 'yes' because the truth that she had moved on with her life, moved on from the glee club, moved on from him hurt too much.
He stood in front of the tall building, unable to move. Puck had been convincing, getting on that plane had been easy, but actually standing there in front of her office building right now scared him shitless. Who was he to march up there and tell her he still loved her? It had been what? Seven years now since their high school graduation? Hell, she was probably married by now to some lucky bastard (one he'd like to kill).
"Finn Hudson," he suddenly heard a familiar voice call out from behind him and he turned around to find Rachel and Jesse standing there.
"Rachel," he breathed, taking the time to note that her right hand was intertwined with Jesse's. "Nice to see you again."
She smiled at him and surprisingly, her smile was a genuine one. Well, of course. No one held a grudge for this long, not even Rachel Berry.
"Great to see you too Finn," she told him sincerely, seeing as how their dramatic breakup had been over a year ago. "How's Quinn?"
Finn coughed uncomfortably before he answered her, "Uh, I wouldn't know actually."
Puck was right. He was a wuss.
"Wait, you mean you never went after her?" Jesse inputted, since Rachel had told him everything the night of the breakup.
Finn rolled his eyes. Well, geez. He didn't need to look so sorry for him.
"Uh no," he confessed, looking down at his shoes in embarrassment. "I mean, I wanted to, but I sort of decided to head back to Boston to clear my head first."
"Well, I'm going to assume that your head has finally been cleared since you're standing in front of her office building right now," Jesse noted then and Rachel nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, not exactly," he admitted, eyeing the building once more, skepticism in his eyes.
Maybe he should just try again next year.
"Come on Finn," Rachel urged, giving him a playful slap on the arm. "It's been a year since our breakup. You're not worried about hurting my feelings are you? Because I'm with Jesse now, so no hard feelings."
"That she is," Jesse echoed proudly, kissing her temple as she giggled in response. "My little Broadway star."
He knew Rachel was just teasing him, but he still felt queasy at the idea of going up there. Eventually, the two of them bade him goodbye (not before he promised them that he would see their show before he left of course) as he mustered up the courage to finally enter her building.
"Can I help you with something?" the woman at the front desk asked him when he approached her, eyeing him suspiciously.
Well, he did look out of place he supposed considering he was probably the only guy in here without a suit on.
"Uh yeah, could you tell me where I might find Quinn Fabray?" he questioned, starting to get a little anxious now that he was so close to seeing her in person again.
Before the woman could answer him though, he heard her unmistakable laughter from behind him. God. He had missed the sound of her voice so damn much.
He instantly smiled, turning on his heels only to find her a mere few feet away from him. This had to be fate. He took a step towards her, but stopped in his tracks when he realized she wasn't alone.
"I left my briefcase upstairs," she was telling the sharp-looking guy in front of her. "Give me five minutes."
Please don't be her boyfriend, Finn silently prayed.
"Fine," he reluctantly agreed, letting her out of his grasp. "But hurry up darling. We're going to be late for the party. You know how Giselle gets when we're late for one of her shindigs."
Darling, of course, Finn mused bitterly to himself.
"Yeah, yeah," Quinn answered, blowing him a kiss. "Just wait for me in the limo, will you?"
Just then, the receptionist spotted Quinn heading towards the elevators. She stood up, about to notify the blonde that she had a visitor, but Finn stopped her before she could. He had had his fair share of humiliation for one day.
"No need," Finn enlightened her, already starting to leave. "Uh, I think I might have the wrong building actually. Thanks for your time ma'am. Happy holidays."
"Happy holidays."