I'm updating this way earlier than I expected. Just one thing: there may be self harm in later chapters (not exactly sure yet, but just warning you in advance). The 1st song in this chapter is Rubik's Cube by The Athlete. And also, if you want to listen to music while reading this fic, the XX is an excellent choice.

The police are at my house. The house that holds my violent father and dead mother. But why did they have to wait five years?

Questions were storming in Blaine's damaged mind. Why now? Why did you just have to find out? Why couldn't you hear me choking on my tears that day?

But he wasn't only blaming the police. He'd be blaming himself until the end of time.

He stepped out of the car and hoped that the man couldn't tell a thing about the state he was currently in. The policeman was obviously too caught up with the case of his father.

"Would you mind stepping into the house, Blaine?" The man tried his hardest to sound comforting, but Blaine couldn't trust anyone after that night five years ago.

Blaine stood in the exact same spot, looked down with eyes of terror, and shook his head. Tears began to form in the corner of his eyes, and he tried his hardest to hold them back.

"I know it's hard, but we really need you to answer a few questions so we can get this case over with and keep you safe."

Blaine was never going into that house again. Too much memories filled with dread would clog his mind and he couldn't bear with that feeling again. With his head still down, he muttered, "Can't-can't we just stay r-right here?"

Somehow the man heard the soft sound that escaped Blaine's mouth. "Okay, fine. First off, I know this is a very troubling topic for you to talk about, and it might – should – be very hard for you to answer these questions. Just try to bare with me for ten minutes, and I promise that we'll get you to a safe spot and you'll never have to come back to this house ever again."

Oh, you promise. Just like Dad promised he'd love me forever no matter what happened. Just like my Mom said she'd stay with me for the rest of my life, and that nothing would kill her.

Blaine didn't want to do any of this. He wanted to be alone, in his car, and be speeding down the highway with a song blasting through the speakers. He wanted to go to that place again. His alternate universe. The one where people didn't have to see his despair. The one where he didn't have to try to get through life, the one where he was the only one.

He should've just walked away from him, gotten in his car, and never drive near here. He could find a place in New York, or anywhere far away from this Hell. But instead, he let out all of his anger. The tears building up in his eyes finally began to pour, streaming down his face. This was the first time he showed his other side. The side that only his father knew, but would never accept.

"Blaine, Blaine, I know this is tough for you, but could you calm down for just one second so you could answer the quest—"

It had reached. The anger that had been building on top of itself for years, from his toes all the way up, and finally bursting out at the seams.

"You have no fucking idea what's happening! You really don't! You can't say that you know it's tough, because a lot of shit has been happening for the past five years and you don't deserve the right to know any of it. I'm sick and tired of people saying they know how I feel! Because no one does. No one has been through what I've been through, so just, just godammit! I'm not telling you a thing, and I'm getting away from this Hell." He opened himself up even more to the man, revealing more of his other side.

The man gasped, but Blaine didn't say another word. He ran past the man, felt the pain disperse throughout his body, and heard loud, what's-meaning-to-be-nice-but-harsh screams ring through his ears, making the hysterical tears come faster and stronger than ever. He struggled to open his car door, his body was shaking, and he finally opened it. He got inside the driver's seat, and somehow found his keys through the blurred vision he had. His sobs had become screams, and he choked on them as he attempted to put the keys in the slot. Finally, the car engine had started, growling at Blaine like the engine was also disappointed with him. He pressed his foot on the gas pedal, and he was off.

He was soon out of the nightmare he used to call home. Soon out of the neighborhood, soon out of the town. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. He needed to get to anywhere besides that dreadful place.

Blaine reached for his iPod and turned a playlist on. He wanted to go to the alternate universe again, to feel nothing, so maybe it would work this time.

The world is too heavy,

Too big for my shoulders,

Come take the weight off me, now.

That's all it took. He was back, back where he wanted to be. But something was different. It wasn't completely black. He was still transporting to the universe, his mind not fully with the rest of his body. He was finally there, and right when he knew, a feeling of nostalgia came to him. He was in a different alternate universe. Along with the music, he could hear muffled screams – joyous ones – and a soft wind blow by.

He was in the playground. The day in 5th grade.

Lost in the playground,

Late night nostalgia,

Open the sky for me, now.

He saw his younger self on the swings by himself, silently sobbing. No other kids were around him. The older Blaine suddenly felt the pain that the younger one was feeling in his own body. In his stomach, yes, that's definitely the spot that it hurt the most. And he felt his eyes sting from the soon-to-be tears that were about to flow out of his eyes. Then, he heard it over the music. The word that he feared.

Oh I'm like a kid who just won't let it go,

Twisting and turning the colors in rows,

I'm so intent to find out what it is

This is my Rubik's Cube

I know I can figure it out.

He saw a kid yell at his younger self. "Get away from me, faggot!"

No. He didn't want to be here. This was not his alternate universe. This was a nightmare. But it was real. It had happened.

This is my Rubik's Cube

I know I can figure it out

The song had ended. But he was still looking at his younger self crying by himself on the swings. Everyone was gone. The wind rustled the leaves, but not in a pleasant way. It was ominous. The sky transformed from a bright blue to a dull gray. The clouds swooped in and took over the cheerful mood. No one had come out to check on him. Not even a teacher.

The image was ever so slowly fading, and then, boom.

He found himself back in the car, staring at the dashboard in a haze. He wasn't moving. It wasn't light outside anymore. It was pitch black. The darkness seeped into his windows, like a monster about to possess him.

Was this all a dream? No, not just the part he had just experienced. Has the whole day been a dream? Had the last five years been a nightmare?

No. Impossible. He still saw a few bruises on his face when he looked inside his car mirror. He saw the unopened bottle of vodka in the backseat. He saw the pain in his eyes, showing that the last five years of his life were a living Hell.

But that "universe" he just went to, that couldn't be like the last. That had to be a dream. A recurring one. How could 12 hours already passed with that one song?

He didn't just want that one moment to be unreal. He wished his whole life wasn't real; he'd rather be dead than living in this misery. Sure, he wasn't near the place where his unbearable memories were created, but that wouldn't stop his anguish. He was scarred, and nothing would treat that scar, no matter how much medicine it gets.

This one's a little shorter than the last one, but I decided that that last part was a good ending spot. Next update should be soon, but anything could happen. And also, thanks for the people who actually took time to read this! By the way, reviews make my day.