A/n: I lost my Plot Bunnies!! I know it's terrible.

But, I found them all hiding under my bed! They were over worked.

I gave them a carrot and lots of coffee and now they're up and ready to write!

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. Nothing and I doubt Christopher Paolini or anyone else is gonna give me any of it for my birthday so I'm just gonna have to deal with borrowing them….

Quote:

"Anyway, I'm not going to stay behind while some stripling gets to run around with a dragon" - Brom

Chapter 2: The Shining and Tesco

"ERAGON! I'm gonna kill you! Where did you put my bloody book?! Tell me or I swear to God I'll make your life a living hell!" I yelled when I realised Eragon had taken my book.

Needless to say, I was pissed.

I walked through the library and upstairs where I found Eragon on his bed listening to his Ipod.

Wait. His Ipod is white. Not black.

He was listening to my Ipod!

I walked over to him and pulled the head phones out of his ears so fast we heard a pop.

"Owww! What was that for?!" asked Eragon.

"That was taking my book AND listening to my Ipod without asking me first!" I replied.

"But, but, you would have said no." said Eragon sounding like a 3 year old that had just had his favourite teddy taken from him.

"Damn straight I would! And there's a reason why I don't let you borrow my stuff!" I said getting annoyed now.

"And what's this reason?" asked Eragon.

"You always break it you idiot!" I replied seriously annoyed now.

"No fair! I only broke your cd player!" he said.

"And my old Ipod, 2 of my old phones, my laptop, our computer, and my bow. Hell you even nearly broke my sword!" I said.

Eragon didn't say anything.

"Now tell me where my book is…Now!" I said when he remained silent.

"Fine!" he said he reached into the bedside locker and got "The Shining".

"Good boy. Now never go near my stuff again."

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

I left the room and went back down to the kitchen.

It was chaos.

Arya was painting signs that said "Save the Wales!" and "Meat Kills!".

Selena had moved on from Pies and was now making waffles.

But unknown to her, Durza was eating them all when she put them on the plate. Man, was she gonna be pissed.

Morzan was drinking a can of Guinness and there were several empty cans scattered on the floor.

"He's gonna have a head ache the size of Surda in the morning"

I thought.

Brom was in the sitting room trying to break-dance- seeing a man who' over 100 years old and not an elf trying to break dance is not a pretty sight and Thorn and Saphira were outside racing.

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

Someone knocked on the door and no-one else seemed to notice, so I went to answer the door.

"Hello Murtagh, How are you today?" asked Galbatorix when I opened the door.

I groaned and slammed the door in his face and walked back into the sitting room and collapsed onto the sofa.

Galbatorix walked in and nodded to me and Brom and continued into the kitchen.

Selena left the kitchen and came into the sitting room and sat down next to me.

"Galbatorix said that you let him in." she said to me.

I groaned in reply.

"Why didn't you close it before he came in?" she asked me.

"I did. I just forgot to lock it so he let himself in." I replied.

"Oh alright. Just remember to lock it in future." she said.

"I will." I answered.

"So. Where's your brother?" she asked me.

"Pouting in our room most like" I replied.

"So the usual then basically?" she said.

I nodded.

"Right then. I thought it would be nice if we all went to Tesco's together. As a family" she said to me.

I groaned at the thought. I remembered the last time we were at Tesco's together.

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

"MUM! I wanna lollipop!" screamed Eragon.

"MUM! I wanna go home!" he had screamed.

"Mmuumm! I'm bored!!! I wanna go play with the dead fish!"

He'd screamed

Now imagine this repeatedly for an hour and you'll understand why I have a deep hate for shopping with Eragon. And Eragon in general.

Most of you will probably say

"But he was only a little kid!"

Well, in reply to that, it was last month.

"Do we have to mum?" I said.

"Yes we do. I know last time wasn't fun but it'll be better this time. Arya, Morzan, Brom and Durza will be there as well this time." She said.

"I fail to see how that makes it any better. Worse, sure but not better." I replied irritably.

"We're going and that's final. Go get your brother." she replied as she got up.

"This is gonna be a long day…" I sighed to myself as I left to get Eragon.

"Yay! Shopping with mummy!!" Eragon screamed when I told him we were going to Tesco.

"God, seriously Eragon, What are you on?" I asked him.

"Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lo.." he started.

"OK OK! I get it. Just say what it is. One word that's all." I cut him off.

"PIE!!!!" he screamed as he ran out of the room. Or more to the point ran into the door. He got up and skipped out of the room. "Eragon! Where the name of Helzvog are you going?" I yelled after him.

"To feed Jimmy of course! Duh!!" he said to me as if going to feed his fish for the first time in 4 months was the most obvious thing ever.

"And he's supposed to be the smart one.." I heard Eragon mutter as he walked down the stairs.

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

About half an hour later we pulled up in Tesco's car park.

Eragon got out of the car and frolicked, yes frolicked, not a typo, across the car park.

Arya and Brom were having an "intelligent" conversation about the "Looney Tunes", Selena was trying to look calm, but failing miserably, Morzan was glaring at everyone who walked past him and Durza was smiling widely. I know, scary much?! Durza smiling. Not a pretty sight. The minute we walked into the shop we saw Eragon talking to Garrow, Marian, Roran and Katrina.

He was talking so fast that he sounded like a fly. You know, those flies that you really, really want to swat but you just can't quite get them. Garrow and Marian just stood there smiling and nodding, pretending to have a clue what he were talking about and Roran and Katrina breathed out in relief when they saw me.

"So they got you too." Roran said as they came over to meet me.

"Yeah….Parents suck.." I replied.

"Tell me about it." agreed Katrina.

"So how's life in the Morzansson household?" asked Roran.

"Hell." I replied simply.

"Sorry Murtagh. I don't know how you haven't slit your wrists yet." Roran said to me.

"Honestly Roran, neither do I." I replied with a sigh.

"So other than a seriously dysfunctional family, how are you?" asked Katrina.

"Fine I suppose. But if Eragon doesn't leave me the hell alone I wont be able to say the same for him.." I said as I looked over at my brother who was acting like a chicken. Oh wait….He wasn't acting.

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

Selena walked over to Garrow and Marian were standing and started apologising for Eragon acting well, like Eragon….

Finally Eragon stopped talking. Which was an achievement in itself, and we started shopping.

Durza walked to the aisle the waffles were on, Arya ran to the vegetable aisle, Morzan went for the off-licence , Eragon ran to the bakery and Brom and I walked over to the Cd/DVD aisle and left Selena standing there wondering how the hell had everyone ran off so fast.

The intercom cracked and the announcer said

"Will the owner of the blond idiot pleas collect him from the bakery counter please. We would also suggest sending it, I mean him to a mental hospital."

"OH FOR FU.." The sound of a lorry passing in the street outside drowned out the rest of my shout.

It was a very loud lorry.

"Right. I'd better go get the little drajl." I said as I walked off to retrieve Eragon….I wonder if they sell guns in Tesco.

If they do, Eragon better run like hell.

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

I found the little shielven hiding in behind the Pies. As if I couldn't guess he was there. Idiot. He refused to leave the pies so I said "Malthinane" and pinned him to the using magic. I threatened him. A lot.

He was shaking when I finished.

"Right. I'm going to leave you up now and you are going to behave for the rest of the shopping and if you do that, I wont kill you." I said viciously.

Eragon seriously thought that I was gonna kill him if he continued pissing me off.

So, much to my surprise, he stopped messing.

Or at least, I thought he did.

I turned around and walked away to find out 10 minutes later, that Eragon decided that it would be fun to use trolleys as skate boards and challenge Durza to a race. Of course Durza being Durza, he accepted without a moments thought. Not that it would have helped anyway. I was looking at the Cds with Brom and Eragon flew past me with Durza close behind.

Then Eragon being genius of Alagaesia, forgot to stop and crashed headfirst into a pyramid of soup cans. Durza flew past him laughing manically, tripped and fell over the "finish line"

"OWW!!!" a scream erupted from the knocked over pile of cans.

I went over and pulled him out of the cans.

"Are you alright?" I asked him.

"I-I-I think I got a boo boo!" He wailed.
"Good. Maybe that will teach you to be the biggest knurlheim Alagaesia has ever seen. Barzuln Knurlan." I said as I pushed him back into the cans and walked away.

We emerged from Tesco about 15minutes later.

In the car, everyone was pissed.

Morzan wasn't allowed buy the entire stock of beer,

Brom wasn't allowed buy a Queen Cd,

Durza was in a good mood for some strange reason.

Arya had hit Selena in the face with a raw carrot and now they were both annoyed,

Eragon was feeling sorry for himself and I was pissed because if Eragon. No surprise there.

The trip home past in utter silence.

Just as the car pulled up in the driveway Durza broke the silence and what he said made us glare at him.

"So, I guess I won the race then….."

CheeseCheeseCheeseCheese

A/n: Sorry about the delay. I don't really have an excuse though…

Translations for the Ancient Language:

Drajl: (Urgal) Spawn of Maggots

Shielven: Coward

Malthinane: To hold or bind in place.

Knurlheim: Stone Head

Barzuln Knurlan: (Dwarfish) To curse someone with ill-fate.