Chapter Two - College
A few years later and high school was over. Mike has always been a year ahead of me. When he graduated I had to spend an entire year of it alone. It sucked. Hard. But luckily we both got into Juilliard. We decided to study voice, as well as me taking an acting program while Mike took his dancing classes. Mike added voice on his second year, so we were both in the same class. Although we did face our problems here and there, it was a great time together. I still remember that first day I arrived on campus...
He was sitting alone on a desk, tapping his pen to some imaginary beat. I could just tell that he was rehearsing for something, even though it was the first day back. Oh, Mike. As I walked inside the classroom, he suddenly got a little surprised, as if he didn't expect to see me there. 'Tina?' he mouthed to me. I just giggled because he looked so adorable. He then got up as if he'd just won the lottery. He walked quickly across the classroom to me with his smile increasing after every step.
"Tina!" he finally announced. "Welcome to Juilliard, Chang 2.0." He patted my head to add on his 'superior' effect.
"Get off of me!" I said, punching him in the arm. "I don't need your little head pats here too, Michael." We then made our way to the corner seat, where he was previously at. He elegantly pulled my chair out with his masculine arms and pushed me inside. The lesson was just an introduction to vocal classes, and how we had to be prepared to give it our all, blah blah blah. Pretty soon the lesson was over and Mike and I were sitting on a field, side by side. The usual questions were passed. 'How'd it go?' 'You think it'll be hard?' and all of that.
As time went on, more and more people entered the field. We saw a range of goths, nerds, blondes, asians, everything. And we all shared one passion. The arts. We didn't really make any contact with anybody, but the atmosphere was so amazing that we didn't need to. It felt good to finally be in an atmosphere where everybody shared a similar interest. The air was perfect, the sun was shining, nothing could be more perfect.
"Damn," Mike said, looking at his planner. "I've got a dance class in a bit. "
"Ah, man. Do you have to leave now? " I replied, holding his knee in desperation of wanting him to stay.
"Yeah, we'll talk later hun, alright? " after this he quickly kissed my head. It was a short moment, but it was his way of reminding me that I'd always be his. And it always reminded me of our first kiss. He still didn't know by then that my first kiss was with him. As I watched him go, I somehow held on to his presence by laying on the grass where he was. I was so in love with him that I hated not seeing him so much.
"Hey, you okay there? " came a young boy with glasses.
"Um, yeah, hello. " I replied, awkwardly sitting up.
" Let me introduce myself, I'm Tim. " He opened in hand immediately.
" I'm Tina. " I replied, shaking his hand gently.
" I saw you in my vocals class. You're new here, right? "
"Yeah, I love to study voice, it's something that I find really interesting. Plus, singing makes me happy. " I didn't know anything about this kid. Only what his first name was and that he was in my vocals class. Yet nothing seemed to matter. He was so kind and welcoming that I didn't really care for details. We spent an hour or two talking about life and getting to know one another, and then Mike arrived. I didn't notice him at first until he spoke.
" Hey ." he said softly. Immediately I turned my head, as if I'd done something wrong, although I knew I hadn't. Dammit .
"Hey Mike. Meet Tim. He's in our vocals class. " I could tell that Mike didn't like him already, the handshake was so awkward you could virtually see the tension floating in the air. "So, how was dance? " I asked, desperately wanting the change the atmosphere.
"It was great. Learnt a lot about this year. " he quickly put his hand around my arm, as if to tell Tim to get the hell away from me. After a long and very quiet session of 'back off from my girlfriend', Tim decided to leave. I had to explain to Mike exactly who this kid was and how he was not a threat to our relationship. But did he believe me? Nope.
After every single time that Mike and I would be separated and talk to a person from the opposite gender, the other would seem to get jealous. I tried to talk to Tim, he tried to talk to some girl called Madeline, but it was just too hard. Then I brought the topic up.
"What the hell is wrong with us! We can't even go a simple conversation with the opposite sex without a fight. " He didn't even reply. "So what should we do! "
"Wait, what are you suggesting? "
" I-I'm n- "
"Are you suggesting we break up? "
"What? " the words were so sudden, it wasn't on my mind but it felt a little, right. " Mike" I spoke up.
"Forget it, Tina. We can't exactly spend the rest of our lives only talking to each other, can we now! " his voice was pissed. He had a right to be. But so did I.
"It's not like I can help it, Mike. I love you! " He just stood there in silence, his eyes moving around a little. Then he left. Not even a single other word. Just silence. Tears slowly streamed down my face as the reality of what had just happened hit me. Mike and Tina were no more. All that time in High School. From our first date in Junior year to our summer vacation getaway in Hawaii. All to this. All leading up to a pile of nothingness.
After a few weeks of not talking to each other, Mike and I watched as the other made friends with new people. He found a French girl called Yara, a nerd called Ronald and Madeline. I however only stuck with Tim. The two of us got more and more closer by the hour. That was, all up until he tried to kiss me.
"What are you doing! " I yelled, a little too loudly.
"I, I thought we had something ."
"What? No, Tim, I- "
"Forget it, I understand. "
"No, Tim, wait, " but of course he didn't, he just left, leaving me alone to think about my stupid mistakes. Why the hell didn't I just kiss him? It's not like Mike and I are even dating anymore. Everything at that one moment just felt like it was all over. I felt so fricken' terrible.
As I had pretty much no friends, I spent the next month or so alone. Into classes alone, out of classes alone. I had a tendency to complain at the little things that people would do. One girl even asked what the difference between an encore and repeating a song was. "They're the same thing!" I moaned. God knows what had gotten into me. Every single vocal class, Mike and I was the most loud ones there. It was as if we'd been competing. We'd both raise our hands in a fast paced unison as we wanted to somehow, desperately, want to answer the questions. Ugh .
Then in one lesson, the teacher decided to pair us all up, brownie points to whoever guesses who I got paired up with. Yup. Mike.
"So your assignment this week ," the instructor said, eyeing out every pair, "is to express every emotion you feel with the song that I gave you. " He then gave us some sheet music with the title "L.O.V.E - Nat King Cole". The song we sung in the choir room around Valentine's Day. Great.
In the auditorium on a Tuesday night, Mike and I met up to practise the song.
"How've you been? " he asked, waiting for my reply as my silence caused awkwardness.
"Um, I've been okay, yourself? "
"That's good to here. Me too. "
" That's nice. " Awkward. Awkward. Awkward.
" Wanna practise? "
" Okay. " As we made our way to our self allocated positions on stage, we began to sing.
" L, is for the way you look, at me... "
" O, is for the only one, I see... " It was all so perfect. Exactly How I remembered it. We even did the movements we did, all except one. As I came spinning in Mike's arm at one point, he didn't let me go, and held me to his chest. For a few seconds we just stood there, in each other's comfort. Nothing felt odd. Nothing felt different. It was as if nothing had even changed.
"I'm so sorry, Tina, " he whispered into my ear. " I love you ."
"I love you too Mike Chang. " The warmth of his arms kept even the inside of me heated. Mike and Tina were back.
On the Friday that we had to perform, Mike and I watched as the other duos performed outstanding performances. We saw people sliding across the stage, choirs in the background, balls flying, all sorts. Then it was time for us to shine.
The music started to play and we moved a little with our hands and backsides. We looked each other in the eye and gave off a welcoming look.
"L, is for the way you look, at me... " he began softly. His voice was so humble and nice that I could just fall asleep listening to him. He sounded beautiful.
"O, is for the only one, I see... " The two of us did the exact same movements we did back in high school and it was all so perfect.