Disclaimer: Any characters you do not recognize are mine. All the rest
belong to Kudos, and the other folks that put lots of hard work into MI-
5/Spooks
Summary: See chapter #1 Spoilers: Episode #9 of season 2. If you did not see that, do not read this story- don't say I didn't warn you.
Author's notes: 1. For the purposes of this story: Ellie got back together w/ Tom just before the season's finale. I promise to make her less whiny than she was on the show
2. C.O.S.= change of scenery
Chapter #2
She had finally stopped crying. It had been 3 days since they told her, and after three days of crying she was at last able to stop. All that was left was the numb, empty feeling and the certain knowledge that she would never see him again. She would never be able to watch as he played with Mazy after coming home from work. From when Tom first revealed what he actually did for a living, something in her realized that this was always a possibility. But every time her mind wandered there, she would tell herself he wouldn't be the one that died. To her, he was somehow invincible- after all he had survived a gun- shot wound, and beatings, as well as who knows what else.
Mazy was there when she got the phone call, and picking up on her mother's sadness, went straight to her and gave her a hug. Oh Mazy did cry a little, Tom was after all the closest thing she had to a father, but she was mostly what kept her mother centered. Mazy was able to keep Ellie's mind off of it for most of the time. It was when she was alone that she wept. She wept herself to sleep at night. She wept for herself, for the man she was only getting to know, and for the relationship they almost had. The dreams came after she fell asleep. The dreams were of the future. They were of the cottage complete with a white picket fence that Tom told her he wanted after retirement. They were of Tom helping Mazy, with her homework before dinner, and of him holding a baby. But besides the future, she dreamt of what she wanted: her Tom, to come through the door alive and well, and to run into his arms to be covered by his kisses.
"Mum" Mazy called. "Mum. Can we go yet?" Mazy asked, forcing her mother to shake herself out of her reverie.
"Yeah we can honey." Ellie said. She took Mazy's hand and they began walking. Ellie turned her head towards the grave on their way from the cemetery. You will always haunt me my love. She thought to herself, as they began making their way towards their flat.
Ellie kept her gaze moving among the crowds, searching in the illogical hope of finding him. She didn't find him, but what she did find was a familiar face, hurrying towards an area pub. Ellie wracked her brain trying to find a name for her. Ruth, that was it, Ruth. Her eye tracked after Ruth, and saw her enter a local restaurant, just ahead of them, on the same side of the street. Ellie casually glanced into the pub, and noticed Ruth sitting down across from a woman with brown hair and green eyes. Ellie made a note of it, and moved on past.
C.O.S: Shakespeare's Pub and Eatery Jamie stood up as she saw her companion enter the pub, and made eye contact and motioned her over. As Ruth made her way across the crowded restaurant Jamie sat back down and shrugged out of her leather jacket.
"Have I kept you waiting long?" Ruth asked as she sat down
"No, I just got here." Jamie replied, casting her eyes downward towards the table. The pair were silent as Ruth made herself comfortable.
"So how are you?" Jamie asked Ruth casually.
"I'm okay I guess. I've cried enough I think for a lifetime. I realize that I never knew him that well. But the occasions we'd worked together he was so..."
"Caring." Jamie supplied.
"And he made you feel like your contribution no matter how small mattered. He was a true leader. He was being groomed to take over after Harry retired. And with Harry rehabilitating, and Tom dead..." Ruth broke off again nearly in tears. Jamie got up and gave her friend a small hug. Ruth quickly recovered.
"So how are you?" Ruth asked.
"Surviving." Jamie said with a small smile. Jamie paused as she thought to elaborate:
"I won't see him again. He'll never tell me another joke, we'll never trade work stories. Not only that but he was a colleague, and it brings to mind just how vulnerable we are in this profession to psychological consequences. I mean you can't always be aloof, and as cold as you need to be to do some of things we do. You also need to keep a part of yourself hidden behind walls, and defenses. Tom understood that. " Jamie explained. The companions were silent as they began eating their lunches.
'The way she talks, you'd think they were in... No. Although he did find someone after Ellie left him. It was someone secret.' Ruth mused to herself over Tom's love life. Jamie started again:
"So how is the rest of the team doing?" Jamie asked
"Broken up. Danny's the next in line after Tom, and he refuses to take full control until the investigation is complete. You know there was never a fully positive I.D. on the body. He refuses to believe Tom's dead. And Zoe, Zoe's just trying to keep it together. She's trying to be his support. She had a close friendship with Tom. And his death has hurt her. It's hurt them both. They are both still shocked at what happened out there that day with Harry." Jamie sat back a puzzled look on her face.
"And how's Harry?" Jamie asked, after pausing to consider this latest bit of information.
"He's stabilized. The bullet caught a lung and it collapsed. He's still a long way from coming back to work." Ruth answered. She looked at her watch an hour had passed, as she realized she should be going back to work:
"I should be getting back to work. We'll have to do this again sometime it was therapeutic." Ruth remarked, as she rose and left leaving Jamie to consider this latest development.
Jamie took her time finishing her lunch as she thought over what Ruth had told her.
'MI-5's in chaos right now, nobody willing to take control because of an investigation. That in itself is unprofessional. Usually, when investigations take place agents whether it's with the CIA, or MI5, remain, cool and composed. Now, granted, it was into the death of one of their closest friends, and eventual boss. But still, what was the investigation into? It had to have been more than just the shooting, because that seemed pretty cut and dry. Or did it?' She rose, and went to the cashier and paid the bill. Then she walked back to office, to finish the workday.
On the short walk back to Thames House Ruth replayed the entire conversation in her head. She began wondering if she should have said so much about the inner workings of MI-5. It's not as if she didn't trust Jamie, she did implicitly. They were close friends; had been since Jamie had been loaned to MI5 by the previous head of the CISIS London beaurau. Ruth- along with the others from MI5 had even helped her move into her flat.
Jamie had to leave MI5, in order to be promoted to her current post. The pair of women still remained friends, and became so close that Ruth forgot at times, that Jamie was the head of another country's intelligence service. And Jamie was so easy to talk to, she listened, didn't pass judgment. And she truly cared. It was only natural that a tragedy such as Tom's death should bring them even closer together.
Ruth finally decided, that no, she did not say too much. She merely was trading sentiments, and catching up with an old friend. It would be common knowledge soon enough about MI5 being chaotic at the moment. But Ruth still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off...
C.O.S: Trafalgar House:
For Jamie the rest of the workday passed rather routinely. She had gotten the chance to return her phone calls to the Canadian Prime Minister's office, and the RCMP as to security arrangements for the Commonwealth Summit the following month, had given them assurances that all would be in readiness. She even sent a couple of her officers over to the hotel and conference room where the heads of state would be staying to get specs on the hotel and find out what type of arrangements they would make for the security. Now, it was time to do a little of what she called 'background research' of her own into the so-called investigation. She logged onto the main MI5 website hoping that they hadn't reset her password. She was lucky, they hadn't. 'I guess MI5 really is in trouble right now' Jamie thought wryly to herself. She typed in the words: 'Tessa Noel' and came up with of course her bio. Her status read as suspended pending further disciplinary action, and her whereabouts were unknown. Jamie didn't see anything about her mental state, of course taking into account what Tom said, Jamie didn't think she was too stable. Of course, a woman her age, bottling all that emotion up inside it's no wonder she starts crumbling. As a matter of fact, it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine that anger being directed toward Tom- he was younger than she was, and promoted faster. Of course she'd feel some resentment towards someone who was half her age, and about to become her superior. It was natural. So that part of Tom's story checks out.
She still didn't find out about the investigation. Then she went into the ongoing investigations file. Not knowing what she was looking for, she typed the words: 'Tom Quinn into the search engine. It came up with only one hit. She opened the file and read it. It told the harrowing tale of a top agent turned to the dark side, his friends alienated. He insisted he had been set up. And from what she read there she was inclined to agree. In the end he snapped, and walked into the sea. Jamie printed it all out, and then being careful to erase all traces of her being into the site, shut down her computer. She turned on the radio as she prepared to leave just in time to hear the tail end of Fallen by Sarah McLachlan:
Having you there to take my hand Nowhere left to turn Lost to those I thought were friends And to everyone I know Oh they turn their heads embarrassed Pretend that they don't see It's one misstep and slip before you know it And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Jaime thought the lyrics fit the situation rather well. Only in Tom's case, with her help, he will be redeemed.
A.N.: Lyrics from 'Fallen by Sarah Mclachlan, from her latest album: Afterglow.
And that ends another chapter. Questions, comments, constructive criticisms? Shall I continue with this wild and crazy little adventure?
Review, and let me know
Summary: See chapter #1 Spoilers: Episode #9 of season 2. If you did not see that, do not read this story- don't say I didn't warn you.
Author's notes: 1. For the purposes of this story: Ellie got back together w/ Tom just before the season's finale. I promise to make her less whiny than she was on the show
2. C.O.S.= change of scenery
Chapter #2
She had finally stopped crying. It had been 3 days since they told her, and after three days of crying she was at last able to stop. All that was left was the numb, empty feeling and the certain knowledge that she would never see him again. She would never be able to watch as he played with Mazy after coming home from work. From when Tom first revealed what he actually did for a living, something in her realized that this was always a possibility. But every time her mind wandered there, she would tell herself he wouldn't be the one that died. To her, he was somehow invincible- after all he had survived a gun- shot wound, and beatings, as well as who knows what else.
Mazy was there when she got the phone call, and picking up on her mother's sadness, went straight to her and gave her a hug. Oh Mazy did cry a little, Tom was after all the closest thing she had to a father, but she was mostly what kept her mother centered. Mazy was able to keep Ellie's mind off of it for most of the time. It was when she was alone that she wept. She wept herself to sleep at night. She wept for herself, for the man she was only getting to know, and for the relationship they almost had. The dreams came after she fell asleep. The dreams were of the future. They were of the cottage complete with a white picket fence that Tom told her he wanted after retirement. They were of Tom helping Mazy, with her homework before dinner, and of him holding a baby. But besides the future, she dreamt of what she wanted: her Tom, to come through the door alive and well, and to run into his arms to be covered by his kisses.
"Mum" Mazy called. "Mum. Can we go yet?" Mazy asked, forcing her mother to shake herself out of her reverie.
"Yeah we can honey." Ellie said. She took Mazy's hand and they began walking. Ellie turned her head towards the grave on their way from the cemetery. You will always haunt me my love. She thought to herself, as they began making their way towards their flat.
Ellie kept her gaze moving among the crowds, searching in the illogical hope of finding him. She didn't find him, but what she did find was a familiar face, hurrying towards an area pub. Ellie wracked her brain trying to find a name for her. Ruth, that was it, Ruth. Her eye tracked after Ruth, and saw her enter a local restaurant, just ahead of them, on the same side of the street. Ellie casually glanced into the pub, and noticed Ruth sitting down across from a woman with brown hair and green eyes. Ellie made a note of it, and moved on past.
C.O.S: Shakespeare's Pub and Eatery Jamie stood up as she saw her companion enter the pub, and made eye contact and motioned her over. As Ruth made her way across the crowded restaurant Jamie sat back down and shrugged out of her leather jacket.
"Have I kept you waiting long?" Ruth asked as she sat down
"No, I just got here." Jamie replied, casting her eyes downward towards the table. The pair were silent as Ruth made herself comfortable.
"So how are you?" Jamie asked Ruth casually.
"I'm okay I guess. I've cried enough I think for a lifetime. I realize that I never knew him that well. But the occasions we'd worked together he was so..."
"Caring." Jamie supplied.
"And he made you feel like your contribution no matter how small mattered. He was a true leader. He was being groomed to take over after Harry retired. And with Harry rehabilitating, and Tom dead..." Ruth broke off again nearly in tears. Jamie got up and gave her friend a small hug. Ruth quickly recovered.
"So how are you?" Ruth asked.
"Surviving." Jamie said with a small smile. Jamie paused as she thought to elaborate:
"I won't see him again. He'll never tell me another joke, we'll never trade work stories. Not only that but he was a colleague, and it brings to mind just how vulnerable we are in this profession to psychological consequences. I mean you can't always be aloof, and as cold as you need to be to do some of things we do. You also need to keep a part of yourself hidden behind walls, and defenses. Tom understood that. " Jamie explained. The companions were silent as they began eating their lunches.
'The way she talks, you'd think they were in... No. Although he did find someone after Ellie left him. It was someone secret.' Ruth mused to herself over Tom's love life. Jamie started again:
"So how is the rest of the team doing?" Jamie asked
"Broken up. Danny's the next in line after Tom, and he refuses to take full control until the investigation is complete. You know there was never a fully positive I.D. on the body. He refuses to believe Tom's dead. And Zoe, Zoe's just trying to keep it together. She's trying to be his support. She had a close friendship with Tom. And his death has hurt her. It's hurt them both. They are both still shocked at what happened out there that day with Harry." Jamie sat back a puzzled look on her face.
"And how's Harry?" Jamie asked, after pausing to consider this latest bit of information.
"He's stabilized. The bullet caught a lung and it collapsed. He's still a long way from coming back to work." Ruth answered. She looked at her watch an hour had passed, as she realized she should be going back to work:
"I should be getting back to work. We'll have to do this again sometime it was therapeutic." Ruth remarked, as she rose and left leaving Jamie to consider this latest development.
Jamie took her time finishing her lunch as she thought over what Ruth had told her.
'MI-5's in chaos right now, nobody willing to take control because of an investigation. That in itself is unprofessional. Usually, when investigations take place agents whether it's with the CIA, or MI5, remain, cool and composed. Now, granted, it was into the death of one of their closest friends, and eventual boss. But still, what was the investigation into? It had to have been more than just the shooting, because that seemed pretty cut and dry. Or did it?' She rose, and went to the cashier and paid the bill. Then she walked back to office, to finish the workday.
On the short walk back to Thames House Ruth replayed the entire conversation in her head. She began wondering if she should have said so much about the inner workings of MI-5. It's not as if she didn't trust Jamie, she did implicitly. They were close friends; had been since Jamie had been loaned to MI5 by the previous head of the CISIS London beaurau. Ruth- along with the others from MI5 had even helped her move into her flat.
Jamie had to leave MI5, in order to be promoted to her current post. The pair of women still remained friends, and became so close that Ruth forgot at times, that Jamie was the head of another country's intelligence service. And Jamie was so easy to talk to, she listened, didn't pass judgment. And she truly cared. It was only natural that a tragedy such as Tom's death should bring them even closer together.
Ruth finally decided, that no, she did not say too much. She merely was trading sentiments, and catching up with an old friend. It would be common knowledge soon enough about MI5 being chaotic at the moment. But Ruth still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off...
C.O.S: Trafalgar House:
For Jamie the rest of the workday passed rather routinely. She had gotten the chance to return her phone calls to the Canadian Prime Minister's office, and the RCMP as to security arrangements for the Commonwealth Summit the following month, had given them assurances that all would be in readiness. She even sent a couple of her officers over to the hotel and conference room where the heads of state would be staying to get specs on the hotel and find out what type of arrangements they would make for the security. Now, it was time to do a little of what she called 'background research' of her own into the so-called investigation. She logged onto the main MI5 website hoping that they hadn't reset her password. She was lucky, they hadn't. 'I guess MI5 really is in trouble right now' Jamie thought wryly to herself. She typed in the words: 'Tessa Noel' and came up with of course her bio. Her status read as suspended pending further disciplinary action, and her whereabouts were unknown. Jamie didn't see anything about her mental state, of course taking into account what Tom said, Jamie didn't think she was too stable. Of course, a woman her age, bottling all that emotion up inside it's no wonder she starts crumbling. As a matter of fact, it wouldn't be a stretch to imagine that anger being directed toward Tom- he was younger than she was, and promoted faster. Of course she'd feel some resentment towards someone who was half her age, and about to become her superior. It was natural. So that part of Tom's story checks out.
She still didn't find out about the investigation. Then she went into the ongoing investigations file. Not knowing what she was looking for, she typed the words: 'Tom Quinn into the search engine. It came up with only one hit. She opened the file and read it. It told the harrowing tale of a top agent turned to the dark side, his friends alienated. He insisted he had been set up. And from what she read there she was inclined to agree. In the end he snapped, and walked into the sea. Jamie printed it all out, and then being careful to erase all traces of her being into the site, shut down her computer. She turned on the radio as she prepared to leave just in time to hear the tail end of Fallen by Sarah McLachlan:
Having you there to take my hand Nowhere left to turn Lost to those I thought were friends And to everyone I know Oh they turn their heads embarrassed Pretend that they don't see It's one misstep and slip before you know it And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Jaime thought the lyrics fit the situation rather well. Only in Tom's case, with her help, he will be redeemed.
A.N.: Lyrics from 'Fallen by Sarah Mclachlan, from her latest album: Afterglow.
And that ends another chapter. Questions, comments, constructive criticisms? Shall I continue with this wild and crazy little adventure?
Review, and let me know