Francis had been away from his son for a few hours. Before he had returned from his date, he went with him. Arthur was an amazing lover, caring for him, yet using him the way he pleases unless Francis was okay with it.

If it were for the frenchman, he would have cuddled with his partner and spent the night with him. His conscience however racked him to no end, so as soon as they had finished their act, Francis got up apologising and in a rush to return to his beloved son.

So he left.

Arthur was both, pleased that he had found such a nice father and kind lover, still disappointed that he had left so ceremonyless. His urge to catch him and pull him down to the sheets again for a round of heated afterplay almost took over but the only thing he did was kissing him goodbye hurriedly and wishing him a safe trip home.

The frenchman was now in his home again, the baby sitter paid and the two family members alone again. He sat beside Matthew's cot, watching him sleep and another smile crept up his face. "…You know, Mathieu…", he started whispering, "…I should have brought Arthur with me. Believe me, you will like him. He is the best lover papa has ever had." His firstly calm voice sounded choked at the end of his words, sadness arising anew. "Oh Mathieu…", he sobbed. "Why do you have to be here. Why has she insisted on giving you life instead of saving her own? …we could have adopted and we still would be together, you know…?" He reached into the cot, almost reaching the boy's body but then decided to simply stroke his hair. He felt the anger inside burning but it was his son. His wife had not wished for a life in violence for his son, nor for a living of Francis drenched in ire and despair. "She wouldn't want me to blame you for her death because she decided. But what you don't know, she wished for you so much, she would never have decided to exchange her life for yours. She's a- She has been a mother, you know? Her instinct told her to protect you, not her brain…"

A sudden knock on the door caught him off-guard, causing him to pull back his hand startled. He gave Matthew one last reassuring look, then headed to the door, looking through the spy hole. Looking even more confused, he opened the door. "Arthur, what are you doing here?", he asked without any furhter greeting.

"Hello as well, my darling", the brit chuckled before continuing. "The look on your face as you left worried me, you seemed… lonely? I decided to surprise you. Here, I've bought a pizza on my way here, we haven't had a proper food by now. Is it alright?"

Completely stunned, Francis watched his lover, then taking the pizza boxes from his hands, setting them aside, closed the door and pulled him into a tight hug. "You're so cute, Arthur!", he sighed, stroking his back lovingly. As they parted again, Francis continued: "You know, I just told Mathieu about you. He's sleeping so he probably did not hear me, but I am sure you want to see him, non?" Arthur, who had picked up the boxes containing their meal again by now, nodded slowly and smiling but insisted on carrying their food to the kitchen first.

"You don't look like someone who eats Pizza, you know?", Francis said as he took out two glasses, filling both with water. "Ah, and why is that?", the other blonde responded. "…You know. Pizza makes faaaat!" With that, Francis started poking Arthur's stomach, motioning a huge belly and laughing evilly. Arthur simply batted his hands away, laughing nevertheless. "I'm no woman, think of something else to tease me!" Francis simply laughed. "Oh just wait and see when you look like a whale. Never ever accuse me of not having warned you, oui?"

Arthur just wanted to respond again as both men heared a small whine getting louder and turning into a cry. "Ah, damn no, we woke Mathieu!", the father swore, getting up and reaching him in practically no time.

"Shhh~ C'est bon, mon petite. It's alright. We're here. And now you will even get to know Papa's new lover I told you about! Aren't you glad?" Talking with his son, holding and cradling him in his arms the boy found his peace pretty soon again. But Francis discovered the real problem as soon as he had picked up the child. "I know you are a little stinky-baby again, hm? Now come on, we will fix that, hm?" Poking the child's nose with his own, he dragged him to the soft surface his wife had bought as they had furnished Matthew's room during her early pregnancy and laid him down.
"…you are a devoted father…", Arthur whispered, appearing behind Francis, sofly placing a hand on his lover's shoulder and watching both, the child and him. His eyes warm and sparkling with love. Francis leaned in the touch, almost, just almost forgetting about his duty and started cleaning and changing the boy.

x-x-x

"Isn't it hard for you to be a single father?" The brit was curious, both looking down on the sleeping little beauty against Francis' chest as they sat in the kitchen again. Arthur had made tea, the pizza still remaining on the counter.

"I kind of suffer from it… It's hard not to think about the fact that Lilian could still be alive if we just hadn't wished for him…"

"Francis… Are you blaming Matthew for her death?" The look on his face and the firmness within those green eyes were almost crushing. "No, I just… I'm reminded of her when I look at him. And when I'm alone, it hurts… I have to work, I have to care for him, I have to go shopping, cook, clean the house, pay his babysitters, play with him! I try my best, but it's stressful and … at…" Francis stops for a short moment, his expression holding an almost infinite sadness. With a soft squeeze on Francis' hand, Arthur urged him to continue. The thumb rubbing the back of his hand caringly. "…at…night… I cry… Sometimes. I miss her. I miss waking up beside someone, I miss the cuddling, the loving, the working, the joking and even the small quarrels we had sometimes … Her smile and…" A small chuckle escaped him. "Yeah, I even miss her squeals when there were spiders somewhere. … She had a little habit of running against door handles when she was tired. It made me laugh and when she was angry because of that, I kissed the hurt place and smiled at her. … She would still live, if it weren't for this li-"

"Francis!", Arthur warned. Francis hadn't even noticed it, but his grip around the child had tightened and the boy squirmed. "I'm sorry. Papa got carried away, mon cher!" Stroking the boy apologetic, he looked up at the other man. Who looked very disapproving.

"Francis, have you ever thought about seeing a doctor?", Arthur asked carefully. A questioning glance was the only answer he got. "Because of… that! You could have hurt him. You cannot und must not get carried away with any feelings when you have a child!"

"You say it that easy without having anyone to care for, no? Really great!"

"Francis, you don't really understand! I was not-"

"Not what? You think you are in place to give advice without any experience?"

"Just shut up and listen to me, will you? And don't yell with him in your arm, he might think you are angry with him!"

"But I am!"

…silence.

Francis just realised what he had said and pressed his son against his chest just a little tighter. He watched as Arthur got up, getting over to him and kneeling in front of him. "…do you know what you just said?", Arthur asked softly. Francis motioned the child away from Arthur as if a child would say "That's mine" without words. The frenchman seemed to want to protect his boy. Yet he did not answer.

"Francis. … Do you know what you just said?", the brit tried again.

"…I… I don't mean it, he is my son, I could never be angry with him! He hasn't done anything wrong." Yes. Francis' voice sounded calm, still a little desperate.

"Listen. I am no one to tell you what to do. But you are obviously angry. And according to what you just said it seems like you are blaming him for Lilian's death."

Francis gulped, but did not respond.

"Here I ask you again. Do you think to consider a doctor would be bad? … Or do you want to talk about it, I'm here for you!" Now it was Francis who got up, stroking Matthew's back carefully. "I bring him back. Wait here for a moment, please." Arthur watched him leaving the room, sighing but staying.

Father and child in Matthew's room again now, Francis placed his boy back into the cot, watching him. Matthew was calm but looked frightened. He did not cry and he did not scream. "…such a quiet boy you are. No need to be scared, mon ami. Papa's here to protect you. He won't do anything to you, I promise. Your Papa is just a bit confused right now, but he will be okay again. Just as you will be." Tears fell down from his eyes, drawing one small river from each corner of his eyes. They all met at his chin. "Papa just misses Mommy so much, you know? He is a little desperate and does not know what to do…" And those words caused him to kneel down in front of the bed, crying.

Arthur stood outside the room, leaned against the wall right next to the doorframe. He had been eavesdropping.

x-x-x

"Francis… I need to talk to you. Urgently.", Arthur stated as the man returned to the kitchen. Said one shot him a confused look. Arthur just pointed him to the mirror. That was all that was needed. Francis knew he was caught. "I-"

"No.", the brit interrupted. "No excuses, please. And no, I don't want to recommend you a doctor again either." He let a few seconds pass to let the message sink in. As he had hoped, his lover did not respond.

"I want to offer you my help.", he finally stated. Francis looked even more confused now. "I know we are together for only a few months now and that it is difficult because you still haven't overcome Lilian and that I am nothing more than a distraction for you, I know all that, we already talked about it. But I, Francis, I have feelings for you. And I don't want to see you like this. I want to take some of your work away from you. Let me help you."

The frenchman gulped. "…and how?", he asked with a cracked voice. "I go shopping for you. I could do the cooki-"

"No." …damn it, why did anyone refuse to let him cook? He loved experimenting, yes, but was that really such a desaster? In bed his former partners had loved it! "Sorry, mon coeur, but I don't really want to let you cook, you know? Not that I dislike it, or so, you just…"

"You don't like my experiments, right?" At least, Arthur took it with humour. "…Yes", Francis admitted, being glad that the other one had laughed. "You know, Arthur. I let you, I would be really glad for it. But isn't that to much for you to always commute between your home and mine just for that?" Then, there appeared a hand at his cheek, caressing it. The lips on his. For a few seconds but without moving. Just the touch. Then a talk between those lips. "Let me do it…" Francis' breath hitched, his heart skipped a beat and as soon as he wanted to kiss the man before him, same man pulled away. "No kisses before you mean them from the bottom of your heart, frenchie.", Arthur teased.

…dudes… I'm ashamed of the second chapter. I will delete it soon after the upload of this chapter. I really apologise for uploading it, I had a meaning behind it, yet I was not even able to manage to include it because I lost focus on writing while at it because I hated it so much!

Hope you at least enjoyed the current chapter. Yaaay, plot again!