A/N: Hi there, I'm back! And proud to announce I will be posting a new chapter of this story every week or so, starting today. Five chapters all in all. I've bettered my life and have started writing drafts first. Isn't that wonderful? ;-) Everything has turned out a little bit darker than initialy planned, but no pain, no gain, eh? Enjoy! (Oh, and the final chapter might change to M-rating. Objections? Suggestions? Let me know!)
Whatever happened, after tonight everything would be different.
Well, that thought had certainly been prophetic.
It was different all right, and the evening wasn't even done yet. Rose grumbled and worked to free the heel of her left trainer from a soggy patch of grassland. It pulled free with a wet plop. She didn't exactly know where they were, but the humidity was overwhelming and the amount of water that had come down recently must have been huge, as it had saturated the ground. Hence the muddy feet. The Doctor was walking a little ahead, hands in pockets, his coat billowing in the warm breeze. Rose jogged to catch up, carefully avoiding other suspicious looking pieces of wet ground. She had to admit, though, despite the bad soil, the scenery was absolutely stunning. They were surrounded by a gorgeous landscape of rolling hills, watched over by a deep azure sky that was streaked through with red from two suns, one of them about to dip behind the horizon. It was breathtaking.
Half an hour earlier, Rose had come to the firm conclusion she wasn't put off easily. Mentally cataloguing her past exploits, she'd been filled with confidence. Back home she had yet to find a roller coaster ride that could scare her beyond mere thrills. Visiting new worlds with the Doctor was intensely exiting. Menacing aliens? Piece of cake. Werewolves? Okay, more or less terrifying. But still, absolutely nothing compared to walking into a room intent on spilling ones romantic feelings. Definitely the most nerve wracking experience ever.
And so, by the time she'd reached the console room her resolve had all but melted away. In its place remained a tenacious sense of self-doubt. After all, the Doctor had walked away from her and now she was about to disclose some of her most intimate thoughts and set herself up for humiliation – possibly even ending a close friendship. She failed to see the idea's earlier appeal.
She'd barely stepped across the threshold, let alone had the opportunity to talk to the Doctor, before he'd catapulted her into a full-on ramble. Something about a man called Roger and chickens. Rose had listened with only moderate attention. Instead, she'd taken to studying the Doctor in his natural environment. Bit like a wildlife documentary, where the subject of scrutiny was behaving as they would when they were aware of being watched but pretended not to. Strutting about, meaning to impress, but still guarded underneath. Judging by the way the Doctor shot around the console room, he had something planned. With barely controlled excitement he'd directed the TARDIS to their mystery location, all the while babbling away. Halfway through the second lecture, Rose had begun to lose patience. "Sorry, is this going somewhere?" she'd said, a little snippy maybe.
A grin had spread across the Doctor's face. "Oh, we're definitely heading somewhere." He'd raised his eyebrows and put a hand on the nearest lever. "Question is – will you like it?" He'd slammed down the lever and the TARDIS shuddered into submission.
The actual landing had been quieter and more controlled than Rose was accustomed to, and it had almost felt like the TARDIS itself was being careful and somewhat reluctant about their latest destination. The Doctor didn't seem to have any reservations at all and grabbed her hand, leading her to the double doors. She had just managed to snatch her jacket from a nearby strut.
The second they'd stepped beyond the TARDIS doors, Rose had an instant feeling of familiarity, but she couldn't put a finger on it. The Doctor had refused to disclose anything, merely smiling mysteriously.
So now here they were, halfway up a hill in the middle of who-knew-where.
After another fifteen minutes of blindly trudging in the same direction, the Doctor hadn't spoken more than two words yet. This was unusual in itself, and by now Rose was becoming a little anxious. "Where're you takin' us?" she asked again.
The Doctor turned around and stretched his hand out. She took it and he hauled her further up the hill. "Nearly there. Sorry for the walk, but we couldn't risk the TARDIS being too near."
They reached the top of the hill and in front of them the landscape fell away. A few hundred feet to their right, at the end of a dirt track – anything resembling a path had long since disappeared – stood a small wooden cabin representing the only man-made object Rose had seen so far. Everything else was just grass and woods. On the other side of the hill was a sudden drop which made it possible to see down onto another path below. The Doctor sat down on the far side of the dirt track, his back against a large tree. Rose sensed she should do the same and, without speaking, settled down beside him. The Doctor stared down the ledge, anticipation written all over his face. Rose followed his gaze and within a minute she could hear the sound of voices coming nearer. And then she remembered why this world was so familiar. They had been here before, just after the Doctor's regeneration a little under a year ago, although it seemed closer to a million years now.
The voices became louder and to her amazement Rose saw a younger version of herself and the Doctor turn onto the path. At the sight of themselves the Doctor shifted next to her and squeezed her hand, reminding her to be quiet. So they watched in silence as the Other Doctor spread out his long coat and their counterparts sat down on the grass below them. They laughed, and although Rose couldn't make out what they were saying, she remembered the words. They were very close together, knees touching and hands linked between them in what had been a moment of happiness. Looking at herself, Rose again felt the closeness and the comfort of it. The Other Doctor's arm had sneaked across her shoulders and Younger Rose leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder. He absentmindedly began stroking her hair, and with a pang Rose remembered her reaction to this intimate act. Other Doctor threw his companion a long look that she couldn't have remembered because she'd had her eyes closed at the moment. Something in her mind stirred and for a moment she imagined that she could actually sense what that Doctor was feeling right there. So much affection. A small amount of conflict and an overwhelming sense of happiness...and revelation? But that wasn't possible, was it?
Other Doctor continued stroking her hair. By now, the emotional barrage had become so strong that Rose was almost swept up by the urge to stretch out her hands and run down the hill. Then she felt the Doctor, her Doctor, tug at her arm, and she dragged her eyes away from the scene in the valley to face him. He mouthed something, his eyes dark and surprised. She turned back to look at the two people below. They were breaking up now and preparing to return to the TARDIS. As they moved away the wave of past-feelings began to scatter and became less coherent. Only when their past selves were well out of earshot did Rose let out a deep sigh.
The warm air played around them, picking up slowly, making the darkening trees around them rustle in response to their presence. Rose took the Doctor's hand in hers, eyes silently questioning him, almost completely aware of every passing second. He met her gaze and it became impossible to look away.
"I think I felt it," Rose said, barely audible.
She could see thoughts racing through the Doctor's mind, words getting stuck in his throat before he was able to utter them. Finally he swallowed hard and his rationality seemed to take control again. The hand holding hers tightened a little, before he let it drop to her lap. Whatever had been there had snapped shut again. Rose almost ached at the loss of his touch and wished she could share his emotions now, like before.
"Probably some back-ripple you felt. Maybe because of there being two sets of us here. No harm in it, though." He sounded faintly sad.
The moment was broken when Rose felt a cold wet drop land on her arm. Then another, and within seconds a torrent was unleashed. She squealed as the icy, heavy rain pelted down. The Doctor jumped to his feet and grabbed her hand, dragging her behind him towards the overlook cabin.
They ran inside and he slammed the door shut behind them. "Blimey, that wasn't supposed to happen." The sound of the rain coming down on the roof almost drowned out his voice. Shards of lightning illuminated the cabin with blue and white streaks and in the distance there was the telltale rumble of thunder.
Fortunately they hadn't become completely soaked, but still enough to be thoroughly cold and uncomfortable, and with the arrival of the night and the rain, the tropical temperatures had dropped spectacularly. She wiped the wet hair from her face and shivered, her teeth beginning to chatter uncontrollably. The Doctor searched the room, but only found a couple of horse-blankets stacked in a cupboard against the back wall. He dragged them out.
"Maybe we should've made a run for the TARDIS instead of this," Rose said, even though she knew that would have been impossible.
The Doctor didn't answer but kept rummaging through the cupboard, searching for other useful things, or at least pretending to do so.
Finally, he stood and looked her over. "Take that off," he more or less ordered.
"What?"
"Your jacket. It's soaked. You'll get pneumonia." He grabbed one of the blankets off the floor and handed it to her. "Here, put this over your shoulders. Get warm."
She started fumbling for the buttons on her jacket, but her fingers were too cold to get a good grip and she was shaking heavily. The Doctor watched her, and she grew uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny. He muttered something, then gently pulled her hands away from the buttons to undo them himself. Rose was too cold and tired to feel the embarrassment of having to be undressed, so she let him. Luckily, the t-shirt underneath her jacket was still virtually dry, and when she pulled the blanket over her shoulders, she started warming up quickly.
The Doctor hung their dripping coats over one of the rafters and picked up the last blanket. Then, considering for a moment, he unfolded it and spread it on the ground so they could both sit on it. He made no attempts to protect himself from the cold and Rose saw a taut shiver run through him. He was always hopeless when he tried to hide anything from her and his poor attempts at punishing himself for some imaginary slight annoyed and hurt her at the same time. She shifted closer and draped the other end of the blanket over the Doctor's slim shoulders, drawing him closer. Telling him she'd become used to a life of unpredictability wasn't going to change the dark tightness of his body language, but she was glad when he at least stopped shivering.
"I'm sorry," the Doctor said, breaking the heavy silence.
Rose peeked at him over the edge of their shared blanket. "Well, not really your fault, is it?" She looked at the wooden floor and frowned. "The accommodation here's awful. There's no room service, and frankly, this mattress feels appalling."
The Doctor let out the smallest of laughs. "At least the shower is working properly," he glanced up at the roof where the rain was still coming down in buckets.
"When we get back home, maybe we should register a complaint," Rose said.
"Can't. Haven't got the address."
"Pity." Rose sniffed and leaned against the Doctor's shoulder, unconsciously mirroring her past self. "I'm glad you're here."
He didn't answer back.
She closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift back to what had happened before. By now, she was convinced that it hadn't been her imagination. The experience had been far too vivid for that. Remembering the wave of affection she'd felt from the Other Doctor, she found it hard to rhyme that with their current situation. What had he expected from this trip? What was she supposed to make of his emotional restraint? After everything, she still hadn't had the chance to talk to him properly. Maybe tomorrow. When he would be himself again. If she could still summon the courage then.
So they huddled together while outside the storm raged on, baptizing their little shelter in a flood of water. Eventually Rose began to drift off into sleep. She never noticed how, beneath the blanket, the Doctor slipped his arm around her and placed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. After that, he stared into the darkness for a long time, before finally allowing his eyes to fall shut.
-:-
It was several hours later when Rose woke. The storm had passed in the night and outside everything was eerily quiet. She stretched her painfully stiff muscles and lay back for a moment, taking in her surroundings. Bright sunlight was pouring in through the dirty window, creating shapeless patches of light and dust on the floor. Wooden boards. Rough blankets. All of a sudden Rose remembered the strange events from the evening before and her chest tightened. She pushed herself upright and looked around. There was no sign of the Doctor anywhere. Glancing up, she noticed his coat was gone too and her pulse sped up. He wouldn't. She didn't even know where she was. To her immense relief, the answer to her worries came only seconds later, in the form of a high-pitched whining noise. She scrambled up and grabbed her jacket from the rafters. Yanking open the door, she ran outside, just in time to see the TARDIS materialize on the dirt trail, several feet away. As the whining died down, Rose expected the Doctor to appear. Any moment, he would stick his head through those doors and smile, calling her over – and they would be like they used to be. But to her disappointment the doors remained stubbornly closed. She waited. Nothing happened.
She tentatively made her way towards the TARDIS and stepped inside. Quietly closing the door behind her, she leaned back against the wood. Her insides twisted a little when she spotted the Doctor standing near the console. He appeared to be engrossed in some task or other, but she could immediately tell his heart wasn't in it. Usually anything to do with the TARDIS gave him an aura of happiness and relaxation, almost like a really exclusive form of occupational therapy. Now he merely looked glum and bored, flicking switches and idly tapping the computer keyboard with one finger. She felt the impulse to simply run over and throw her arms around him. Surely he would welcome her hug and mumble something nonsensical into her hair. A form of apology she would accept silently, knowing that telling him there was nothing to be sorry for was useless. She waited for her legs to move. Nothing happened.
Rose deliberately shuffled her foot on the grating to announce her presence. Finally, the Doctor looked up and gave a weak smile.
"Hello," he said.
"Hello."
They stared at each other for a moment, before the Doctor quickly averted his gaze.
Rose frowned. So he was going to ignore what happened before. Not a wholly unexpected reaction. Sadly though, the ball was back in her court now. Maybe the straight approach would work. "I think we need to talk." Rose cringed at how domestic that sounded.
In response, the Doctor seemed to switch gears instantly. He produced a wide-eyed innocent face that would have made any preschooler weep in envy. "But Rose, we always talk! In fact, we're doing it right now. Isn't that marvellous!" His voice rose in pitch to match the get-set-go-manic grin. "I'm very good at talking. Remember that time on Grobble Four? I told you there was something funny about a man who-"
"Doctor, I'm being serious."
The happy face fell.
"Well, if you insist on being boring. Be my guest. Just…" He scrunched up his brow and waved his fingers at her in a shooing motion, "…you know. Somewhere else?"
Rose stood her ground. Being treated like a housemaid wasn't what made her more engaging to the world. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped.
"I'm perfectly alright, but thanks for your concern. Now, if you don't mind." He turned back to the console and continued whatever it was that he'd being doing before.
"Fine," she said sharply, straining to keep the hurt from her voice. "Be like that. See if I care."
She plunked herself down on the jump seat, refusing to be chased off by any rude alien, let alone him. The Doctor had turned his back on her, but she could tell by the hunch of his shoulders he was only feigning disinterest. He was her friend, and now for some inexplicable reason, he was hurting them both. To counteract her emotions, she started tapping one foot against the metal grate in a rhythmic tick-tap-tick-tap. After a few more minutes of being silently and persistently ignored, Rose briefly considered walking over and stripping off right there. That would snap him out of his mood - or she could end up signing her own letter of resignation. Marching orders. The boot. Goodbye. Fancy working in a chip shop, Rose? Not a very enticing prospect. Anyway, she'd tried the stripping on him once before. Hadn't worked.
It was then that Rose spotted the book they'd been play-fighting over the previous evening. After all the Doctor's efforts to keep it from her, the silly thing was just lying there on the other side of the jump seat. She figured that since he seemed bent on ignoring her, she might as well have a peek. See what had been worth the fuss. Without glancing at the cover, she picked it up and flipped to a random page. Her attention was immediately drawn to a particular section. It wasn't one of the rare old books from the TARDIS library, or one of those half-translated something alien-English ones. "Hold on…" Rose turned the book over again and her mouth fell open. She pointed at the cover. "This is…" The Doctor moved suddenly very fast, appearing from out of nowhere. Before Rose could protest, he'd grabbed the book from her hands and walked off. She'd seen more than enough, though.
"That's from my room!" she squeaked. "When were you in my room?"
"Ehm, it's my TARDIS, so technically it's also my room. And I'm always in your room." He looked up, suddenly flustered. "I mean… Why… I'm… Well, never mind."
Rose looked down at the grating, not sure if she should be angry or embarrassed. This wasn't working out the way she'd imagined. Stupid bloody book. It wasn't even her favourite reading. She'd only snatched it from her mother's stash before leaving home last time round. Didn't even know why, really. Maybe it had something to do with the drawing on the cover - a tall dark-haired figure, slightly too muscular perhaps, but from a certain angle she could just imagine… Half-remembered fragments from the story popped unbidden into her head. Recalling the non-to-subtle contents, she blushed. And this was what the Doctor had chosen to pilfer from her room? Her mortification gave way to a spontaneous fit of giggles.
"Doctor, seriously? You like that sort of reading?" Rose said, voice dripping with disbelief.
He reacted as if stung. "Yes. No! It's research..."
She jumped from the seat and began circling the console. To her satisfaction, she noticed she now had the Doctor's undivided attention as he held an eye on her and mirrored her movements, deliberately keeping the console between them. It was like that time right before they'd ended up in Scotland. Only without the groovy soundtrack.
The Doctor came to a stop and glared at her over the console. "Rose Tyler, I do not, I repeat, do not read 'romantic' literature for recreational purposes. I was merely trying to understand the human fascination with such...pointless activities."
Rose's eyes widened and so did her grin. "Yeah, you do! You so like it! I always knew there was something of the old romantic about you," she said, laughing. "Wait until I tell Mum. Bet she'll love sharing her collection!" She started cackling.
"Yes, very funny. Let's all have a good laugh. Okay, done now?"
Oblivious to the tightening of the Doctor's mouth or the conflicting sadness in his eyes, Rose dashed forward, practically skipping a step. "You and Mum could compare favourite characters. I bet yours is the dark brooding Count with the chip on his shoulder, am I right? Right?" Rose hiccuped through her laughter. "And what's your heroine like? Sexy? Making you feel a bit hot under the collar? Or maybe she– "
"–Rose, stop it," the words came from under his breath.
While vaguely aware she should take heed, Rose continued to ignore the red flags, tightly coiled frustration spurring her on. "Face it, it was inevitable," she said, lowering her voice to a suggestive pitch, still persistently stalking the Doctor's back. "All those lonely nights hanging around the TARDIS, doing god knows what. Time Lord or not, you're still a bloke. You were bound to need something mo– "
Before Rose could finish, the Doctor spun around and came bearing down on her. She gasped and backed up, but he tagged her until she felt the railing and couldn't go any further. The Doctor took two more steps, crossing into her personal space. One hand on the railing, the other ghosting over her side, he looked her over sweetly, a flash of white teeth beneath the grin. With his mouth only inches from hers, she could feel his breath on her lips. "Rose Tyler, always so clever. Pushing all the right buttons. But be careful. One of these days you might get more than you bargained for. Very tricky, expectations. Most of the time they only hide massive disappointments."
Rose swallowed heavily. "And maybe once in all while someone should stop acting like a total prat." She put two hands to his chest and shoved. Hard. The Doctor staggered back a few paces, surprised look plastered on his face. "Or are you just a coward who thinks bullying is the answer to everything?" she bit back defensively.
He gave a mirthless laugh. "Oh, it takes a brave man to be a real coward. Trust me."
She huffed. "That all you can come up with? The old 'I know better' line? Am I daft? Have I got 'gullible' written in big letters on my forehead?"
He studied her intensely. "Nope. Definitely not. Still lovely. In fact, your face is quite… unique. In more than one way." He abruptly dropped his gaze and stepped back, returning to the console.
Rose looked him over, taking in every inch of evasive Doctor. All those years of living, all that talk, and he still managed to avoid saying anything that truly mattered. Or maybe he'd conditioned himself into it. Rose had discovered a long time ago that the key to understanding him lay in deciphering his complex body language. She had even become quite adept at it. But right now emotions were muddling up her judgement and she felt a massive headache coming on.
"Back there," the Doctor suddenly spoke up, "You saw what I needed you to see. Now, if you want to go home…"
Rose drew in a sharp breath. Was he finally showing his colours? Was this the reason for all his circumventing behaviour – he'd finally had enough of her?
"What, work in a shop? Get married, have babies? Why would I want any of that?" She struggled to ignore the hurt that was ripping a hole in her chest.
The Doctor looked away, his face devoid of emotions. "Course you do. Most humans do. There'll come a time you're going to leave this funny old life behind. Meet some decent bloke and settle down. Maybe not now. You're still very young, but soon– "
In a flash, the Doctor's words were drowned out by the deafening roar of multiple sirens going off at once. Taking their cue from the alarms, on the TARDIS console a dozen red and yellow lights screamed into existence.
"What the fu– " Rose crashed to the floor as the TARDIS lurched violently.
The Doctor sprinted towards the other side of the controls and furiously started hitting buttons and turning switches. "–hold on!" he shouted, gripping the console.
Rose groaned and touched her head where it had glanced the edge of the railing. Her vision was blurred with streaks of light, mashed together like wiring. Red, black, grey. "Stop it!" she yelled over the din. "Doctor!" The streaks of light vanished and now it was as if she were looking through someone else's eyes. Everything had a startling clarity and things she'd never noticed or understood suddenly made sense. The TARDIS was still spinning wildly out of control and the Doctor stood bent over the console, his movements frantic, trying to regain a hold on the situation. Judging by the panicked look in his eyes, he was clearly failing.
"Doctor! Don't touch the bloody Failsafe! No reason to kill us both!" Rose scrambled up and pushed the Doctor out of the way, her hands flying over the controls before he could make a peep. "Zenith Relocator," she muttered. "Just change it to a lower setting. Give the Time-Curve Indicator a chance to recover from all that high-density Exesium. Jeez. Zero-gravity Nanopack is blown. You should have replaced those ages ago. And you nearly fried the Thermal Buffer. Right, and there was me thinking I had fuzz for brains." Rose thumped another dial and the TARDIS instantly stabilized, resuming her course through the vortex with perfect serenity. Rose turned around. The Doctor stood frozen in place, arms limp by his side, mouth hanging open, just staring at her like she had just morphed into a Slitheen. It took her a few seconds more to take in what had happened. The strange double-vision had disappeared and she wondered what in the name of holies a 'zenith relocator' was.
The Doctor recovered his ability to move first and shot forward. He grabbed Rose by her upper-arm and started dragging her along. "Infirmary. Now," he growled.
"Woah, hold on a minute." She jerked her arm free. "One little technical glitch and you immediately think I had something to do with it?"
Clearly the Doctor wasn't in any mood to argue. "Rose, you're clever, but I'm brilliant. And just now, you grilled me on a subject I'm good at. One I'm very good at. And you're not supposed to teach me things I'm very good at as if you've being doing them all your life... Something is really wrong. Now shut up and let me run some tests."
He looked at her with an expression she'd never seen before and Rose suddenly felt fear. He was right. She shouldn't have known that. It had felt really odd, like yesterday in the library. Or last night on the hill. As if she just knew stuff without ever having heard of it before. She shuddered.
"No infirmary. I'm not feeling ill. Just scan me or something. Can't you do that?"
"Sit down then," he said sharply and gestured towards the jump seat. Nervously, she did as she was told. She watched her feet dangling in the air as the Doctor picked the right setting on the sonic screwdriver and waved it over her a few times. Having done so, he stared at the results for a couple of seconds, then repeated the scan. His brow scrunched up as he prepared for a third run-over. Rose lost her patience.
"Doctor, if there's something wrong, please tell me."
He mumbled something unintelligible.
"What?"
He carefully pocketed the screwdriver. "I said there's nothing wrong with you. Quite the opposite in fact. You've been... well, the right term would be enhanced." He spoke the word through clenched teeth, like it was something dirty. "But you might not enjoy this particular improvement."
"Stop the cryptic talk, and tell me what's wrong!"
"No idea how it happened, but basically, you've become… telepathic."
Rose's eyes widened. "You mean I can read minds? But I can't, can I?"
"No, not that particular form of telepathy. Right now, you're just receiving fragments of whatever is directed at you. There's no two-way communication. It's a… half-connection. Maybe that explains why– "
"–connection? With what?"
"Not what."
Rose looked at him questioningly.
"It's a telepathic link, Rose. Only you're hearing but one side of the conversation."
Rose felt the tips of her ears grow hot. Unconsciously she already understood what he meant, but her mind wasn't ready to acknowledge the full impact of it. "Okay, so with whom am I sharing this 'connection'?"
There was an uncomfortable silence before the Doctor glanced up.
"Me."