CHAPTER TWO

Pinch me if I'm dreaming

I'm somewhere I've never been

When you lead me by my hand into the flame.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reaching out my hand to the ghost of Edward I allowed myself to bask in the fantasy.

He hesitated for just a second then moved slowly towards me, never taking his eyes off my face. When his cold fingers found mine, I closed my eyes. I was not going to allow myself to wake up from this.

The bed dipped slightly as he joined me, a trembling gasp escaping between my lips as his strong arms encircled my shaking body.

I reached out to him, unable to get close enough, grabbing and clutching at his chest as he lay down beside me. I wanted to crawl right inside him so that I would never have to be alone again. Never have to face the black isolation of another day without Edward in my life.

As I struggled to get deeper into his chest Edward's ghost hand reached out and touched my face. I could feel his cold fingers tracing the lines of my cheek, before they moved down my jaw, and onto my exposed neck, pausing on my collarbone.

I must be loosing my mind, I thought helplessly because his hands felt far too real as they caressed me. I was going pay for this luxury tomorrow I realized, but not tonight, tonight Edward was here with me and I was going to enjoy every part of him.

I knew why he was here of course; I hadn't been sleeping well in the week since Jacob had been gone and the nightmares had returned.

Ever since we had gone to that silly zombie movie and he had gotten sick, my brain had switched back into crazy, depressed Bella mode. Every painful memory that I thought I'd repressed had come back tenfold. The pain radiating through the hole in my chest once more, the emptiness consuming me. It was unbearable.

I assumed some part of my cracked brain must have called forth Edward to take away the demons of the night. He was here to help me sleep, that was all because I couldn't sleep without him.

It was just the same as that night in Port Angeles or the day I had crashed on my motorcycle. He was only here to assist me, he wasn't real.

In my dream Edward's hands continued to stroke me, soothing away all my fears.

One of his hands, rubbing circles into my back while the other continued its journey from cheek to breastbone. I felt myself actually relaxing for the first time in months, as I allowed my mind to drift and wander in the comfort of his arms, melding into the shape of him, tracing an outline of his body with my own.

As I finally stopped shaking Edward gently brushed a lock of brown hair from my forehead and pulled slowly away from me. Immediately I panicked, lunging at him again, my eyes popping open with dread. Not yet, I pleaded silently.

A sad smile crossed his face but he stopped moving . He was now just far enough away that I could see his face perfectly. I could only assume that he was studying mine as well.

Edward looked terrible, well as terrible as someone so amazingly beautiful could look. His face wore a tortured expression, as if he were in physical pain somehow. I couldn't begin to imagine what that pain might be. Why would my dream Edward look like he was hurting?

I was probably just imagining it, wishing that he missed me half as much as I missed him. That it had hurt him just a little bit to leave me.

There were bruise like shadows beneath the sable of his eyes and I realized that he was thirsty. Why hadn't he been hunting, I wondered?

As we continued to stare at each other I put all those thoughts out of my mind and just absorbed his presence.

Without warning His face moved closer to mine, so close that I could actually smell the sweet perfume of his breath as he kissed my forehead.

"Bella" he said his voice hoarse and ragged like he'd been screaming as well.

"Everything's going to be okay."

The texture of his voice was amazing, all my other fantasies paled in comparison. The very way he said my name pulled at the pit of my stomach and hurt my very soul. Reminding me that tomorrow I would wake up and never get to hear him say my name again.

I closed my eyes so he wouldn't see the tears pooling up inside them and turned away as I murmured "I couldn't find you."

"I'm right here, I've got you" he whispered into my hair as he pulled me into his chest again.

"I tried to stay away, but it was only a matter of time." The pain that radiated through his voice was undeniable.

"Edward stop talking" I muttered into his ear "you'll just wake me up." Then my lips began a desperate search for his. If only to make sure didn't speak another word.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------