Chapter 2
They were almost back to Camelot and Gwaine, Percival, and Leon were getting more and more worried about Merlin. They had all watched as a blood stain grew on his right side. Soon enough the stain had stopped growing but Merlin kept getting worse as sweat poured down his face and his skin took on a sickening paleness and he could barely stay on his horse. But yet he still did not say anything and the expression on his face was one of grim resignation.
Gwaine could not take it anymore "Merlin why the hell have you not said anything about being wounded and just let yourself bleed, and why the look of resignation the hell with what Arthur says he'll come round he knows you to be a loyal and true friend in a few days he will see that and everything will go back to the way they were between you so what is up?" Merlin breathing was ragged but he managed to answer though his voice was raspy and it seemed like he was struggling to talk "Two reasons one, I did not say anything about being wounded because the wound has already closed but how much blood loss I sustained does not help much. Two the look of resignation is for good reason because by the time Arthur comes around I will be dead and even if he could miraculously do what this spell would have him to do to save my life which is forgive me and accept me completely he won't make it in time and I don't blame him at all because maybe this is how it was meant to be." Merlin took a sharp breath as his body sent a wave of pain through him but Gwaine pulled him out of his pain filled haze by asking "How long with this spell give you? How long do you have? And is there any other way to cure you?" A ghost of a smile appeared on Merlin's face at that last question but then quickly disappeared as he said "No Gwaine there is no other cure, the spell I have only read about it. It is designed so that only the one person who it would hurt the most to see the other die can save them and it depends on who the two people are and what problem they have is. With Arthur and me the problem is my magic and the reason only his forgiveness and acceptance can save me is because that is the hardest thing for him to give. And the reason he won't make it in time is another part of the spell when it hits it causes a wound but the wound heals itself within a span of a couple minutes to a few hours and the amount of blood loss sustained in that time determines how long the person has. With the amount of blood loss I suffered I am most likely going to be dead by tomorrow night if not midday tomorrow which is more likely. But I still want him to know what I have done for him so I need you to give him this when he is ready so that even though I won't be there to tell him myself he will at least know." at his words Merlin pulled out a small book they all had seen him writing in a one time or another a journal and passed it to Gwaine saying "That journal is a detailed account of everything I have ever done for him with my magic whether he knew of the threat or not, it also has all of my failures but also all of the things I did right even some of the most painful things I had to go though to save his life at the expense of something or someone I held dear at no fault of his own really. Just promise me you will give that to him when he is ready and that way I can at least have a sense of peace knowing that one day he will know all I have done for him and why." Merlin paused for a moment then said "Now let's just get back, get me in that damn cell he wants me in so he can have some peace of mind and I can die in peace."
After that they rode in silence but the only thought on Gwain's mind was "To hell with what Merlin says when Arthur calls for a report when he gets back he is sure going to get one and he will get the book as well as a shock to find out that he is Merlin's only hope. I won't let Merlin die without a fight."
Soon they reached the courtyard in Camelot. Gwaine and Percival had to practically half support half drag Merlin down to the cells because he was so weak while Leon followed behind them. One they had Merlin lying down on the cot in the cell none of them left. they all decided that they would all stay and guard Merlin until Arthur came back then Gwaine would go and give him the report on Merlin.
It was nightfall when Arthur arrived back and a servant had come down to tell them that Arthur wanted a report and for one of them to go to his chambers to give it. Gwaine told the boy he was on his way but before he could leave "Gwaine don't tell him what is really wrong just make sure he knows that no matter what I will always believe in him and have faith in him and I have and always will be loyal to him. I don't want him to know till I am already gone that way he won't just sit there waiting for it feeling even worse than he will because there is nothing he can do for me in time anyway and I have accepted that just promise me that after I am gone you will give him that journal and protect him for me because I will no longer be here to do it. That is all I ask now go you don't want to keep the Prat waiting." Merlin rasped with a small smile Gwaine said "Of course Merlin." but what he thought was "To hell I am not going to tell him he deserves to know and I am going to give him this journal tonight I have looked at it to see how long it is and it would not take him long to read so if there is chance to save you Merlin I am going to take it." With that Gwaine was off to Arthur's chambers.