The First Date Resurgence

II. The Green-Eyed Effect

Having received the emailed request six hours previously, Sheldon arrived at Amy's apartment to fulfill his boyfriend duties.

Knock, knock, knock, "Amy."
Knock, knock, knock, "Amy."
Knock, knock, knock, "Amy."

The door swung open to reveal a widely grinning Amy Farrah Fowler. "Hello Sheldon. I'm assuming you would like some Yoohoo?"

Involuntarily, he grinned back. "You know me too well."

After she poured two glasses, he gallantly carried them to the coffee table and she picked out a DVD.

"I hope you're ready for an hour of me cooing and giggling, as induced by giant pandas being their roly-poly, irresistibly cute selves."

"While I myself prefer koalas, tonight's choice of program is your prerogative," he said.

Besides, while he knew that she knew his koala-face, she wasn't aware that he recognized the particular smile on her face right now—with the corners of her lips puckered ever so slightly as if teeming with silent laughter—as the one that she made only around pandas.

Amy sat next to him on the couch, waiting until he opened his arms. She leaned against him, their bodies easing into the now-familiar positions, and he wrapped his arms around her. With that, Sheldon settled into a night of cuddling and giant panda documentaries.

Thirty-six minutes into the program and Amy was positively bubbling with contented sounds, but Sheldon couldn't appreciate the sight of panda cubs rolling across playpens, not with his mind preoccupied with a different matter.

"Amy, may I ask you a question?"

She shifted in his arms so she could look up at him and smiled encouragingly. "Proceed."

He licked his lips nervously and muttered: "That first date with Leonard… what was it like?"

Her forehead furrowed and her green eyes glimmered, indicative of her carefully thinking. "It was a very standard date, I suppose. His father drove us to the cinema where we watched a movie, then took a walk in the park, then his father picked us up so we can go to the hotel my family was staying at, and…"

"… And?"

"And… we half-kissed."

In ragged huffs, he expelled the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "What in the world is a half-kiss?"

She shrugged; the slight movement upon his chest made his breath catch again. "When only half of your lips are in contact?"

He frowned. "I don't believe a half-kiss is a conventional method of displaying affection."

"It isn't. He meant to do a full-kiss, but he was wearing insoles and slipped on them when he leaned forward, and only managed to do a half-kiss before he went completely out of balance. After that, his father had to take him to the hospital for twisting his ankle."

"What a dork." Sheldon sneered, feeling extremely satisfied. "How did you not remember such a pathetic dating partner?"

"That year, my parents set me up with a different boy on a monthly basis," she explained. "It was such a tiresome period of time, that I wanted to forget about it altogether."

"I see…" he nodded. Then he froze. "And those boys, did you half-kiss all of them?"

"Of course not."

He relaxed, reaching for his glass of Yoohoo on the coffee table. "Of course."

"Naturally, most boys are less awkward than Leonard and would succeed in the implementation of full-kisses.

Sheldon choked on his last mouthful of Yoohoo, nearly dropping the glass.

"Are you alright?" She poised to sit up but he pulled her back into his arms and firmly held her in place.

"There's still sixteen minutes of the program remaining," he said. "According to today's request, cuddling is to last for the entire duration of the documentary viewing."

Penny knocked and without waiting for an answer, swung open the door to apartment 4A.

"… And that is why, given the current set of relationships and emotional bonds between your little trio, a ménage à trois will prove to be the most convenient and fulfilling option." Beverly concluded, leaning back on the far-right seat of the couch.

Raj, Howard, and Bernadette, gawped at the neuroscientist with open-mouthed horror.

Penny started backtracking but Beverly's stare whipped around and froze her in place.

"Penny, how nice to see you again."

"Yeah… nice." She shuffled inside, nearly stumbling over Raj who was sitting on the floor by the chair shared by Howard and Bernadette.

Leonard finished putting the tray of tea and sandwiches on the coffee table and took his seat on the armchair across the room. Penny made her way to his side to sit on the arm of the chair.

"That looks uncomfortable, why don't you sit here?" Beverly indicated the space between her seat and Sheldon's spot.

Penny looked at Leonard, who nodded hastily, and she followed Beverly's suggestion.

Sheldon and Amy walked from the kitchen, holding steaming mugs of tea. "Wait a minute," he cried. "Where is Amy going to sit?"

"On your lap?" Penny smirked. Bernadette gave a little squeal at that.

He narrowed his eyes at the pair of them. "A lap is not an ideal location for sitting, it lacks the necessary support and stability, moreover the person whose lap is in question would—"

"Amy, you can sit in Leonard's seat. Come son, be a gentleman," the elder Dr. Hofstadter raised an eyebrow at the younger one.

"Sure, Mother, let me just stand here," Leonard sighed, but stood up anyway and allowed Amy to take the seat.

"No Leonard, I meant you can squeeze in there with her, given your compact stature."

He shook his head and slumped on the arm rest instead, his arm brushing against Amy's shoulder.

Sheldon stood before his spot, but refused to sit down. Hands gripping his mug tightly, he glanced alternately at his girlfriend and his roommate.

Penny smirked at him again. "Girlfriend on your lap sounding good now?"

He glared furiously at her; not for the first time, she was glad he wasn't a real-life Jedi.

"Sheldon, don't just stand there, we're having tea," Beverly said.

He uneasily sat down, still clutching at his mug as if intending to crush it in his hands.

"Amy Farrah Fowler, if I may make a query, have you ever or would you ever consider entering into a monogamous relationship with my son?" Beverly asked.

As one, Howard and Bernadette turned their heads away and spit-sprayed tea all over Raj, who dropped his head and spluttered tea on his own lap.

"Oh Raj, we're so sorry…" Bernadette grabbed the box of tissues and handed it to him.

Ignoring the mess of tea, Sheldon's low growl, and Penny's bulging eyes, Amy simply replied: "No."

"I understand that Leonard as himself isn't an attractive mate," Beverly said. "However, he comes from a long line of geniuses and his DNA is very likely to produce exceptionally intelligent offspring. Moreover, marrying Leonard would include me as a mother-in-law—and I don't need to list all of my good points, do I?"

"Hold it right there," Sheldon interjected. "Dr. Hofstadter, it's true that you are a brilliant woman with whom Amy would enjoy engaging in discourse and could very well have a satisfying mentor-protégé relationship with. But if it's the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship we're referring to, then my mother would prove to be a better candidate. She not only excels in domestic skills, but has a nurturing and affectionate personality, and also successfully raised me, an extraordinary prodigy, with much care."

"She doesn't approve of me though," Amy mused.

"What a pity," Beverly commented. "You would never have to encounter such a problem with me."

"She will come to like you in time, for me. My mother's very expressive of her love for me." Sheldon raised his chin in challenge. "Unlike Leonard, I've never had to build a hugging machine."

Raj whispered to Howard, who nodded. "Yeah—burn!"

"But with that upbringing came a certain advantage," Beverly rejoined. "As a needy individual whose excessive craving for affection wasn't met with satisfaction, he understands the value of providing affection. Unlike you, a favored individual who lacks or has repressed the desire for affection with the result that you take it for granted and fail to serve the emotional and various other needs of a romantic partner."

Sheldon's eye started twitching uncontrollably.

"Ooooh…" Bernadette and Penny exchanged looks and touched fingers. "Tsssss!"

Leonard rubbed his glasses on his hoodie, put them on, and blinked deliberately. "It was all very backhanded, but if I look at all that in a certain way, it's as if my mother was complimenting me... and at Sheldon's expense."

"Try not to let it go to your head," Amy advised. "Even a Master's degree bearer would know my boyfriend is the best there is."

Raj sniggered silently while Howard huffed exasperatedly and asked: "Anyway, what's this about, this matchmaking between Leonard and Amy?"

"Only that Amy Farrah Fowler is an outstanding young woman and since my son is obviously unqualified to acquire a woman of her caliber, I have to help him out." Beverly neatly sipped her tea. "Just him would make a losing bargain, but I thought I could entice Dr. Fowler with the extras to the package."

"As if the DVD extras could ever make up for a substandard film," Sheldon scoffed.

"Excuse me," Bernadette raised her hand timidly. Everyone looked at her. Penny mentally applauded the petite microbiologist for not even breaking into a sweat under Beverly's piercing gaze. "Amy and Sheldon are in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, their version of one that is, and Leonard and Penny are—well, I'm not quite sure what they are, but they're something.

"Considering their current relationship statuses, isn't it too sudden to propose that Amy and Leonard pursue a romantic relationship with each other?"

"It's not sudden at all," Beverly explained. "Before their present amorous entanglements, my son and Amy Farrah Fowler were involved. Romantically."

"Huh?" Bernadette whined and looked at Penny; she regretted having to nod in confirmation.

"It turns out that Leonard and Amy's first date was with each other, when they were kids," she said.

"What?" Howard gasped. Raj grabbed his ear and whispered something. "Yes, we heard that right, before there was Shamy, there was Lamy."

"Ridiculous," Sheldon snarled. "An awkward first date as adolescents hardly qualifies a boy-girl pair for amalgamation naming, if anything should, it's the entry into a mutually indemnified relationship."

"And it's hardly a relationship if there's no hugging or kissing or coitus involved," Howard muttered.

"My son, inadequate as he may be in all other aspects, is capable of those activities," Beverly said.

Sheldon turned to Leonard… very, very, slooooooowly. "What did I tell you about Amy before, Leonard?"

"Uh… 'She is not for you.'"

"Remember well."

Penny saw her sort-of boyfriend gulping.

"I-I'm going to slide to the computer chair over there before he starts building a death ray," he announced, standing up to fetch the chair and sitting on it.

"Lamy," Sheldon sneered, ripping apart a sandwich before stuffing a chunk in his mouth. "Even the name sounds lame-o."

"Yeah, it does sound lame." Penny agreed.

Beverly shook her head, clicking her tongue. "Jealousy is an ugly thing."

Author's Notes: Big thanks for my reviewers—you're all a big motivation. Plot bunnies are always there and biting, but the fuel of support really fires up the writing mode. I have the sinking feeling that Amy will actually be proven to hate pandas later, but for now, I'll write this here—because rare is a person who can resist pandas!

Small blip, I'm going to have to do this fic in four chapters. I mean, after Part I, I could've crammed the remaining parts in two other chapters, but it would just flow better with four chapters, so I'm going with that. Thanks for reading, and please look forward to Parts III and IV!