Chapter 2: Malfunctions and Memories
Leia slowly made her way across the base in the fading light of early evening. As she made her way towards the buildings that housed the barracks she took in the sight of the various X-wings, Starfighters, and freighters strewn across the base, all poised and ready for the impending battle with the First Order. She couldn't help but wonder how many of these aircrafts would actually make it through the battle, how many pilots would actually make it back home. Of those who would be fortunate enough to make it back, what degrees of harm, loss, and devastation would they be forced to endure by virtue of just surviving the battle alone? These were thoughts that had plagued Leia's mind for the duration of her career in the Rebel Alliance and, subsequently, the Resistance. She had always hated the constant knowledge of the losses that would inevitably come along with both their victories and defeats. Yes, it was all a part of the duty of fighting the dark forces that seemed to always find a way to hold the systems of the galaxy in their clutches, and no man or woman who had fought for the Alliance or the Resistance had been ignorant to that fact; but for as long as she could remember – particularly since the destruction of Alderaan – she had considered everyone to be part of an extended family of sorts, and each loss was a crushing blow to her, even if she didn't let it show. The feeling had gotten worse in recent years, however. Now when she addressed the pilots, crews, and technicians she couldn't help but see how young they'd all become as she aged, couldn't help but see Ben's face among the young men who stood before her. Had she ever truly been that young and taking part in this war? The concept was mind boggling to her. And knowing how she would feel if Ben were to die in battle made her feel all the more guilty knowing the suffering that would befall other mothers across the galaxy as their sons and daughters perished under her leadership in this horrendous war. But she couldn't let herself dwell upon these thoughts too long, or she wouldn't be able to go on with it. Leia shook her ruminations from her mind and tried to focus on the tasks at hand, namely finalizing the plans for the attack on Starkiller Base and trying to get some much needed rest before the battle began. It was sure to be a long, arduous ordeal and there would be no time for rest once it began.
She had just about made it across the base and to the barracks when the sight of the Falcon caught her eye. She was rather confused to see it still sitting there, boarding ramp lowered, when she had fully expected Han, Chewbacca, and Finn to have started their journey hours ago. She turned and headed towards the ship, determined to learn what the hold-up was – they were on a very tight schedule after all.
Almost as soon as she made her way to the top of the boarding ramp Leia could hear the sound of Han spouting Correllian curses, and in short order found him in the circuitry bay. She leaned against the doorframe, trying not to laugh as she watched Han angrily try to fuse various frayed wires with a small torch-like device.
"Having problems with the bucket of bolts again Captain?" she teased, having to raise her voice a bit to be heard over Han's stream of expletives.
Han looked up quickly and pulled off his protective goggles so he could be sure he wasn't hallucinating, and he wasn't – in front of him stood his wife, smirking at him. He set down his googles and soldering torch on a nearby crate and crossed his arms over his chest, a dark smolder settling upon his face. "What have I told you about mocking my ship, Your Highness? And I think it was General last time I checked."
Laugh gave a light, tinkling laugh at Han's expense, then, feigning seriousness, responded, "Oh forgive me, General. What seems to be the problem with this fine piece of machinery?"
Han looked down at the floor, running a frustrated hand through his hair, and grumbled in a barely audible voice, "The hyperdrive…"
"What was that?" Leia asked in a teasing voice, having full well heard what Han said.
"I said the hyperdrive," he replied through gritted teeth, still not looking up at her.
Leia's hand came up to her mouth as she tried, albeit with very little success, to stifle a laugh, for which she received a glare from her exasperated husband.
"And what exactly do you find so funny?" he growled, not finding the situation amusing in the slightest.
"Oh nothing," she said breathily, still trying to maintain her composure. "Some things never change is all…"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Han asked defensively, arms once again crossed over his chest.
"When has it ever not been the hyperdrive that malfunctions on this thing?" Leia asked, deadpan.
Han was silent for a minute, chewing the inside of his cheek, before grunting, "Yeah…guess you got a point there."
Leia couldn't help but smile at him – he really hadn't changed much at all. But she knew better than to needle him too much about the Falcon's mechanical woes. Pointing over to the circuit panel he had been working on when she entered, she asked, "So the circuits blew out on you?"
Han released a heavy, discouraged sigh and ran a hand through his hair roughly once more. "Yeah, along with the main compressor – I gotta completely replace it."
"I'm sure one of the mechanics must have a spare compressor lying around here somewhere…' Leia offered, trying to be helpful.
"I already asked around," he groused in reply. "Apparently there aren't any available until the freighter of spare parts comes in at oh-six-hundred."
"That's going to be cutting things pretty close to try and prevent the full mobilization of Starkiller Base…" Leia sighed softly, brow furrowed in worry.
Han reached out then and placed reassuring hand on her shoulders. "We'll get there in time, don't worry."
"It's my job to worry," she muttered before an idea came upon her. "I could always assign one of our ships to you and have the Falcon repaired and ready for you when you return."
"No way! No one touches the Falcon except for me and Chewie. She may be a 'bucket of bolts', but she's mine and I wouldn't want to fly anything else into this," he responded, an intensity in his eyes that she had missed in their years apart.
"Ok, take it easy Flyboy," she laughed. "It was just a suggestion." She found that she liked that she was still able to get under his skin a bit, even after all this time.
Han hadn't seen her feisty and playful like this in a long time – at least not with him – and he wasn't quite ready to see her go just yet. He didn't even mind the silly nickname from when they had first met all those years ago. With a smug grin he stared her down and said, "Well I've got a suggestion for you, Your Worship."
"Oh really? And what would that be?" she queried with a sardonic smirk of her own at his use of her old nickname.
Han's face softened suddenly and his eyes filled with a look of sincere longing that nearly broke her heart.
"Stay and have dinner with us," he asked softly. Then he coaxingly added, "Chewie's makin' your favourite…it'll give us some time to catch up, and I know Chewie's really missed you. You wouldn't want to disappoint a Wookie now, would ya?"
Leia could tell it meant a lot to him that she stayed for a while and she couldn't say no. If she were honest with herself, she really did want to stay for as long as she could – she had missed both he and Chewbacca desperately. "Ok, I'll stay," she said softly. Then, with a teasing smile, "I wouldn't want to disappoint Chewie."
A while later Han, Leia, Chewbacca, and Finn sat around a medium sized table in the Falcon's galley, the remains of their dinner scattered across the surface. It had been a lighthearted evening filled with reminiscing and laughter, despite the dark challenges that lay ahead of them in the days to come – a welcome distraction from the possibility that they may never be together in the same way again.
"That was delicious Chewie, thank you," Leia sighed happily, leaning back in her chair completely relaxed.
Chewbacca whortled a happy reply as he cleared the table and placed the dishes in the washer.
"That was really good," Finn agreed enthusiastically. "I didn't know Wookies could cook."
Chewbacca growled menacingly at Finn's last statement, causing the young man to shrink back nervously in his seat and Han to let out a hearty laugh.
"Easy Chew, he meant it as a compliment. Right kid?"
"Yeah…a compliment," Finn stuttered anxiously. "I didn't mean to offend you Chewie."
Chewbacca harrumphed quietly, accepting the young man's apology before returning to cleaning up the galley.
Finn suddenly felt rather awkward among his companions, and decided to make his exit for the night. "Anyway, I think I'll turn in for the night. Goodnight General Organa, Solo. 'Night Chewie." He rose from his seat and left galley, followed by "goodnights" from his companions.
Moments later Chewie made his way over to where Han and Leia were still sitting. He gave Leia a loving pat on the head and whortled a goodnight to them both.
"Goodnight Chewie," she said warmly, touched by the familiar gesture.
"'Night Chew," Han called after his first mate as he exited the galley, leaving Han and Leia to themselves.
Leia looked over to the chrono on the wall and, noticing the hour, looked back to Han with sad shadows in her eyes. "I should probably get going too; we both have and early start tomorrow."
She rose from her seat and began to head out of the galley, but Han quickly caught up with her, catching her by the hand just as she made it to the entryway. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze.
"Don't go yet…please…" he whispered softly by her ear.
Leia couldn't resist the pleading tone of his voice, nor the pleading in his eyes when she turned to face him once more. "Ok…but just for a little while longer though," she sighed with a small smile. She really hadn't wanted to leave yet, but she knew the longer she stayed, the harder it would be for both of them when it was time to go.
A roguish grin spread across Han's face as he said, "Why don't you go sit in the main hold – I've got a surprise for you." When Leia responded with an inquisitive stare he chuckled and added, "You'll like it. Just trust me, ok?"
"Alright," she replied, thoroughly intrigued, before heading towards the main hold.
Several minutes later, as Leia sat patiently on a small sofa of sorts near the holo-chess table, Han entered the main hold carrying two wine glasses filled almost to the brim with bubbling pink liquid. He made his way over to where Leia was seated, handing her one of the glasses as he took a seat beside her.
"What's this? Are we celebrating something?" she asked with a warm, surprised laugh.
"Just something I knew you'd like," he replied with a smile. "But if you need a reason, we could toast to – "
"Being home?" she interjected. A loving smile spread across her face when she saw his expression of surprise at her suggestion, and she leaned in closer to him. "She may be a hunk of junk, but the Falcon's always felt like home to me too."
"To being home then," he grinned softly.
They raised their glasses and clinked them in a toast, then sipped their wine as they gazed intently upon each other.
A surprised expression quickly played across Leia's face as she exclaimed, "Han! This is – "
"Alderaanian wine," he said, finishing her thought. "The same vintage we drank at our wedding," he added softly.
"I thought those were the last bottles of it left. Where did you find this?" she asked in awe.
A smug grin played upon Han's lips then as he explained. "Oh, I was doing a smuggling job for an old antiques dealer a few years back, and as it turned out he had a taste for rare wines and quite the collection. I convinced him to let me take his Alderaanian stock off of his hands as part of my payment."
"Really?" Leia asked, finding the behaviour a bit unusual for Han.
"Yeah…surprised?" he replied shyly.
"Maybe a little…" she answered honestly.
Han looked away from her then and stared down into his glass. "I missed you…us…the way things were. It was nice to have a piece of it as a reminder. I guess I hoped that we'd be able to share it together again one day…" he explained in a soft tone of voice Leia had only heard a handful of times in all the years they had known one another.
She watched him as he took another sip from his glass, avoiding direct eye contact with her, and she felt guilty for having made him think she doubted his sincerity or intentions. She reached out and gently rubbed her hand up and down the length of his arm. "It was very sweet of you…" she said softly, lovingly.
"I wouldn't go that far," he said with a biting laugh.
Leia gave his arm a squeeze then, finally getting him to look into her eyes. "No, you wouldn't…but it's true," she answered back. She took another sip of her wine, staring at him intently.
In that moment Han realized just how foolish he had been to give up and stay away for so many years. Before him sat this woman who, for whatever unexplainable reason, had always managed to see the best in him even when he believed it never existed in the first place; a woman who truly loved him, when no one else – other than maybe Chewie of course – ever had. He knew he wouldn't be able to let her go again, wouldn't be able to go back to the way things had been for years. And he knew that this would be his only chance for the foreseeable future to try and sort things out with her so they could have some kind of a chance at happiness again before it was too late.
"Do you ever get tired of it all?" he asked cautiously, knowing that her temper may flare with the conversation, but also that the conversation had to be had.
"Of what?" Leia asked innocently, though having an idea of where he was headed. She had known this conversation was a long time coming.
"All of it. Not having a life of your own…being held back by a bunch of beaurocrats that only see a pretty face to front their agenda…" Han continued, looking straight into her eyes, searching for a reaction she might night voice openly.
"Han please…" she sighed, looking away from him to set her glass down on the holo-chess table.
He wasn't surprised she wanted to avoid the subject – it was a sore one between them – but it had gone unresolved for too long now. "No Leia. Can you look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you're happy livin' like this? Hiding in the wings of the Resistance day in and day out?"
"It's what I have, what I'm good at," she replied with a stubborn glare.
"But you deserve more…better," he retorted with matching stubbornness.
"I had that – see how it turned out!" she snapped back at him before turning away, unable to see the hurt she knew would be present in his eyes after that statement, not wanting to fight with him.
Han glanced down at his lap, feeling guilty that he had upset her – feeling guilty for all the times he had let her down. He brought his glass to his lips and drained it, then set it down roughly on the table in frustration. "Leia…" he said softly, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Han, please," she pleaded, removing his hand from her shoulder before rising and crossing the room. "I don't want to fight with you."
Han was right behind her in a flash – he wasn't going to give up this time. It was far past time for things to be made right, if not for them as a couple then at least for her happiness – that was all he had ever wanted for her, though he hadn't always done the greatest job at providing it. With a gentle but firm voice he sighed, "I don't want to fight with you either. I want you to be happy, and it's clear you aren't."
Leia whipped around to face him, nearly colliding with him in the process and causing him to take a step back to give her some space. "Maybe I was never meant to be happy," she retorted, sadness and defeat evident behind the defiant fire in her eyes.
"I don't believe that for a minute Sweetheart," he said with that tender tone that always managed to find its way past all of her defenses.
"It doesn't matter anymore," she sighed with a sad smile. "I've made my peace with how my life has turned out for the most part…"
"Leia…" he sighed woefully, reaching out to cup her cheek. He wanted to say more, to apologize, to try and make things better, but she silenced him by gently placing one of her delicate fingers to his lips.
"I should go, and you should get some sleep," she said in a breathy voice. "Thank you for tonight – for supper, the trip down memory lane…the wine," she added with a small smile. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered close to his ear, "Be safe…"
Leia turned once more and began to head out of the main hold when Han called out to her.
"This isn't over – we're going to finish this conversation when I get back," he said in a grumbling tone that let her know he meant business.
Leia turned back to look at him from the doorway to the main corridor. As frustrating as it could be at times, she really did love his stubborn streak. "I'll be looking forward to that," she smiled at him warmly. She truly hoped beyond all hope that he would be able to come through on that promise.