Disclaimer: I own only Marie. The great C. S. Lewis owns all other characters in this chapter.

A/N: And now we get to be introduced to the creature behind last chapter's alarm… Mwahahahahahaha! We'll see whether I can write modern Sues. Most of Marie's names are actually those of real OCs in some stories I have encountered whilst trawling through stories on this site. Makes you shudder, doesn't it? Anyway, I should introduce Junora and Imogen in the next chapter. Enjoy!

You must have been asking yourself at the end of the intro, "Who could have set off the alarm? What horrific beast could send even the finest team of suehunters into disarray?" None other than Marie-Anne Sue-Ellen Petronilla Elisabeth Arianna Adriana Tiffany Arielle Arabella Adora Felicity Victoria Cecilia Ermengarde. She was beautiful beyond compare, with eyes that changed from "spakrling" gold to "enchatning" purple and all "culurs" in between. Her hair was rippling, wavy, shiny, luscious and fair. Her skin was as soft as velvet, and lips were as red as cherries. She was up-to-date with all the latest styles, and looked gorgeous in whatever she wore. She also had "hiden magickal pwers", which magically allowed her to look spectacularly stupid while trying to spurt fire from her hand. And she was currently walking through the back of Professor Kirke's wardrobe.

Marie was not entirely sure how she had got there. She knew that she had just been watching this toe-tah-ly nerdy movie with her toe-tah-ly geeky next-door-neighbor. (They both hated each other, but their parents made that ever-annoying assumption that "They're nearly the same age, how can the not be friends? They should go to the movies together.") She had not been looking forward to it. But upon entering the theater, she was delighted to find that one of the leading characters of the film was "toe-tah-ly Hawt!!!!!!!1!! OMG!" He was even better than the boy in the last nerdy movie she had seen with that neighbor, the one a long time ago that she though of as the "one about the engagement." (It had rings in it! It must be about marriage!) That particular crush had been spoiled by the boy's name. I mean, who would like someone named Frogdo, or something? Anyway, she had just seen this movie with the "hawt British dude" (Peter, she thought his name was) in it, when she had drifted off to sleep during a Peter-less second of the movie. Next thing she knew, she was in this room with a wardrobe in front of her, and Peter had just disappeared inside it.

Lyke, OMG!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I ken, lyke, toe-tah-ly catch him inside, and we ken, lyke, kiss!!!11!!!!!!!11!!!1 OMG! Thought the girl. He will, lyke, toe-tah-ly fall in love w/ me, and we will be, lyke, 2gether! She sprinted as fast as she could towards the wardrobe, tripped over her own stiletto, caught the heel of her shoe inside her lace leggings, effectively bending her leg so that her heel touched her thigh, tried to free her shoe, jumped while doing so and fell spectacularly onto her face. After a few minutes of struggling, she managed to right herself. She adjusted her metallic silver miniskirt, straightened her magenta tube top, applied a new coat of "Radioactive Red" lipstick, and pulled the door of the wardrobe open. "Petie-honey?" She crooned sickeningly " Dat you?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Some girl with black hair who was almost as attractive as Marie screamed. You would, too, if you had seen some sort of blonde monstrosity in glowing red lipstick dressed in what looked like a spacewoman's skirt and a pink skin-tight tube. The girl recovered herself quickly, however, and focused on the girl in front of her. She was looking confused, as well, and was calling for someone who seemed to be called "Petyhooni". With a sudden thought, she turned to some one Marie recognized as "Her Petie", who was in the back of the wardrobe.

"It's for you." She swiftly got out of the way. Peter struggled to the front of the wardrobe.

'How can I help you?" OMG!!!1!!!1!!!!!!! He's actually, lyke, tlking 2 me!!!! YEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!

"Hi…" She said in her idea of a flirtatious tone. It came out as more of a breath with the possibility of words in it. She decided to bat her eyelashes and pout. This only served to cause Peter to back further into the wardrobe, and made some little light-haired boy laugh loudly. OMG!!!1!!!! Lyke, tat little brat is, lyke, laffing at our deep wuvv! I'll, lyke, show him! She advanced into the wardrobe. "Watch whut you sey, brat. Petie-honey and me are, lyke, in wuvv!!!!1!!!!" Edmund laughed harder. Huffing, Marie pushed towards the back of the wardrobe and discovered Lucy.

"Who are you?" Lucy asked.

"Good question…" Muttered Peter. Lyke, tis little ugly blonde girl don't know who I, lyke, em! OMG!!!1!!!!!

"I em, lyke, Petie's tru wuvv!!!1!!!! La duh…." The short blonde girl ( Lucky, or something.) looked at her like she was crazy.

"But Peter's only twelve! And I don't think you've ever met before." This time it was the black haired girl who spoke. Marie thought her name must be Susie.

"So whut if we havnt? We're in wuvv!!!!!!!!1! Gawd." This girl must be stupid or something.

"I think you've got the wrong boy." Petie spoke to her. "And my name is PETER." Marie giggled horribly.

"You're such a jokr! I wuvv you sooooo much!!!1!!!"

"I'm not kidding."

"Peter, we're wasting time when we could be exploring! Let's just let her come with us. I'm sure she won't bother us. Much." Lucky-or-something looked impatient.

"Yes, lets. I'm sure she won't bother us." Edmount,( she thought he was called this.) the light-haired boy, was snickering uncontrollably.

"Well…I don't know…"

"Come ON, Peter."

"Alright." They entered the wood. It was only until they were knee-deep in snow that Marie noticed she had forgotten her coat. Oh, well…

A/N: I hope this was better than the last chapter! Please review. I can't fix problems if I don't know what they are.