Hey guys!
So I forgot to put this up in the first chapter but I am new at this story writing so I would like your input on what you look like to see in this story. Thanks to those who have reviewed and added this to their favorites.
Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock or any of its characters.
I hope you enjoy:)
Oh so I wanted this story to be close to Demi Lovato's situation so I have her sisters in this story and the song in here is Gotta Find You by Joe Jonas.
Chapter 2:
"Mitchie, can you come here please?" my mom asked as I was on my way upstairs to unpack my stuff.
"Yeah," I replied coming back down the stairs and into the family room where my mom was sitting on the couch.
"We need to talk," my mom said pointing to the spot next to her on the couch.
Those four words made my heart rate increase; I was coming to the worst conclusions of what she was going to say.
"Ok," I said kind of hesitant.
"Ok so you and me both know that I am no good at beating around the bush so I am just come out and say it, I am worried about you."
"Why?" I said hoping she wasn't about to say what I feared the most.
"I know you are growing up and all and you are taking interest in Shane but-"
"No mom, please don't give me "the talk."
"I wasn't going to, wait is there something I need to know, nope it's not important t right now. I know you and Shane got close again this summer, but you just can't jump into a relationship after a year apart, Mitchie."
"We talked all year last year."
"Yeah but did you see him last year?"
"He was on tour."
"Exactly, how do you he won't be too busy this year, he is a celebrity who as a busy schedule. Look, I'll I'm saying is that I don't want you to get you hopes and depend on a boy Mitchie, who may forget about you in two weeks."
I can't believe that she just said that, "yeah 'cause you know so much about relationships, being that your first marriage went down the drain all." I know that was kind of taking it too far, but she had no right to downgrade my relationship.
"Michaela Demi Torres you know damn well that your father walked out on this family and don't try turning the tables on me, you and your smart mouth will land you in trouble, God why can't you be more well behaved like you sister Dallas!"
"Why do you always have to compare me to Dallas, she isn't even here and you are still comparing me to her, I'm not Dallas and it isn't like she is perfect either."
"Honey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset, I just don't want you to get your heartbroken again."
"Mom, Shane has been there for me no matter the distance and he isn't going on tour this summer."
"Sweetie just be careful."
"Yeah um I'm going upstairs now."
I made my way upstairs and to my room leaving my mom in the family room, I kind of felt guilty for lashing out at her, but at the same time I was to mad to apologize. When I reached my room I couldn't even be bother to unpack, I was just emotionally drained. I checked my phone and saw that I had a missed call from Caitlyn but I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just grabbed my diary, flopped on my bed and wrote.
Dear Diary:
I'm slowly slipping, the pain is just too great and I don't know how to deal with it. I had a pretty good summer, but even at the end of each day, I still felt the same…not good enough. I got caught up in this Camp Wars shit trying to prove to myself that I can do something but we lost and it is just more proof that I don't matter. I can put on a smile though and pretend that nothing is wrong, like I don't self-harm or that I eat probably. I keep telling myself though, that this is the last time, but everyday it's the same thing. I cut myself six times today (two cut on each wrist and two cut on my stomach.) I can stop anytime though, right? My mom compared me to Dallas…again and I'm getting really sick of. I get it though I'm not as pretty as Dallas or as outgoing or as smart. (Good for her, I'm glad she is at Stanford University) But the thing I don't get is that mom never compares Maddie to Dallas or me for that fact; I guess I just can't please her. I'm lost and on the verge of crying so I'll write later.
Love,
Mitchie
After I wrote, I thought about writing a song but I couldn't think properly and I turned face down into my pillow and cried. I cried for what felt like hours but in reality it was only thirty minutes later when Maddie bounced into my room.
"Hey Mit-what what's wrong?" Maddie asked rushing over to my side.
"Go away," I groaned turning away to that she couldn't see me.
"Is this about Shane because mommy is talking to daddy about him in the kitchen?"
"Why are you still here um what, what is she saying."
"Nope, you obviously don't want me here," Maddie said skipping out of my room but stopping at the doorway, "oh by the way mommy says dinner is almost."
"Tell her I'm not hungry," I said.
"Mom said that you might say that, but she said you are still to come down.
"Kids dinner is ready" we heard mom yell.
My sister and I made our way downstairs and joined our parents at the table. While everyone else way eating I just stared at my food, I felt paralyzed like there was something preventing me to pick up my fork.
"Mitchie, are you having a staring contest with your food or something?" my dad joked.
I didn't hear him though.
"Michaela!" he said raiding his voice a little.
"What, oh sorry but I'm not hungry."
"Eat please; your mother's food is good."
I knew I wasn't going to leave this table without eating something so I ate three bites of chicken and a spoonful of mashed potatoes.
"I'm done," I declared.
"No you're not, you need to eat more," my mom said.
"No I'm not I said done," I replied in a smart ass way.
"Mitchie what happed, you use to eat more," my mom asked concerned.
"I guess my appetite changed," I signed and excused myself from the table and made way to the bathroom…here we go again, but I can stop, right?
…
When I came out of the bathroom I grabbed my diary and wrote:
Dear Diary,
No one cares; it's just a simple fact. My life sucks. I have been self-harming since I was 11 but no one has taken the time to notice. I have not been eating appropriately since I was 13 and yet has anyone noticed hmmm let me think…no. Let me remind you that I am 16 years old; I think that there was plenty of opportunity for someone to notice. I'm not worth it.
P.S. when you throw up after eating very little, it results in a lot of blood loss.
Love,
Mitchie
As soon as put my diary down, I heard my phone ringing Shane's ringtone.
"Hey Popstar."
"Hey baby, are you alright 'cause you're voice sounds a little hoarse."
"Yeah, I was singing right before you called." Wow Mitchie nice going now you're lying to Shane I thought to myself, "Shane I miss you," I stated changing the subject.
"I miss you too Mitch."
"So what are you up too?"
"Well we are in our apartment in New York, Jason is in the living room looking at birds, Nate is in his room being antisocial and I am in my room talking to you. What are you up too pretty lady?"
"First of all Popstar, how do I know that you're the one who isn't being antisocial because you are in your room too?"
"Because I wanted privacy so that I could talk to you."
"Oh, well then that is perfectly fine, now to answer your question, I am also I am also in my room talking to you."
Shane and I talked for hours until my yawn reminded him that it was 10:00 pm.
"Alright time for Mitchie to go to bed, I'm going to sing you to sleep."
"Really?"
He just chuckled and started to sing.
"Every time I think I'm
Closer to the heart
Of what is means to
Know just who I am
I think I've finally found
A better place to start
But no one never
Seems to understand
I need to try to get
To where you are
Could it be you're not that far?
You're that voice I
Hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing
Piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
Oh yea
Yeah, yeah
You're the remedy I'm
Searchin' hard to find
To fix the puzzle that
I see inside
Painting all my dreams
The color of your smile
When I find you it will be alright
I need to try to get
To where you are
Could it be you're not that far?
You're the voice I
Hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
Been feeling lost
Can't find the words to say
Spendin' all my time
Stuck in yesterday
Where you are is
Where I wanna be
Oh next to you
And you next to me
Ohh
I need to find you
Yeah
You're the voice I
Hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you (I need to find you)
I gotta find you (yeah)
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you (I gotta find you)
You're the voice I
Hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you (I need to find you)
I gotta find you (I gotta find you)
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
I got find you
Yeah
I gotta find you…
"I loved it, thank you Shane."
"No problem baby, you can consider this a phone date."
"You can call and tuck me in at nights."
I could tell that Shane was smiling when he said "I would be honored, now go to bed, sweet dreams and I will talk to you later.
"Night, Shane"
For once (well expect at camp) I am going to sleep without crying.