Dark Nights/Men Don't Cry
Chapter 2
Dale's Dead Bug Van sped down the empty night highway, free from the restraints of traffic.
"Woah, easy there Dale, you're almost going over the limit" Hank warned sternly.
"Hah! Look at cop over here!" Dale joked. Bill, Boomhauer and Kahn laughed.
"I just don't want to get pulled over on the way to something big like this, can't get too excited" Hank stated.
"We making great timing! Loosen up, Hank Hill!" Kahn shouted from the back in between laughter.
Hank sighed.
He glanced out the window, looking at the small isolated towns in the distance. The moonlight lit up the plains of fields of Texas for miles on this night.
Suddenly the Van lurched and spluttered.
"What the hell?" Hank asked as the Van slowed down, eventually coming to a complete stop at the side of the road.
"Yo man, what's going on, what the hell?" Boomhauer demanded.
"I uh... I don't know" Dale began.
"Dale, you giblet head! You're out of gas! Did you not fill up before we left?!" Hank demanded.
"I ... I meant to ... but I guess I didn't "Dale stuttered.
"ARGH! Stuck in middle of nowhere with Redneck Hillbillies, just typical!" Kahn shouted as Bill let out a wimpy cry. Boomahuer just shook his head, staring at the floor.
"Did you at least bring some extra gas, anything in the back?" Hank asked.
Dale shook his head, staring down at his lap.
Hank sighed, "Alright, someone call for a ride, Kahn?" Hank asked.
Kahn shook his head, "Hell no, Minh keep telling me this mower event stupid all week. She don't get it. I can't call her like this"
Hank sighed again and looked at Boomhauer.
"Yo man, sorry... got nothing"
He knew it was pointless to ask Bill. He didn't need any more reminders of how lonely he was.
"Dale, you got us into this, call up Nancy." Hank ordered.
"Can't do that" mumbled Dale.
"Dale, what the hell! Just call her up!"
"Can't do that, Nancy's working in six hours, she can't risk it for us, she'll get fired. And then I ain't got money" said Dale in a defeated voice, "Hey, wait! Hank, call Peggy! She doesn't work!" Dale exclaimed.
"I can't call Peggy, she's been against this the whole time, and she does work! she's been substitute teacher of the year!"
"Twice" added Bill matter-of-factly .
"Pshh, that's not working, just call Peggy!" Dale argued back.
"Yeah man, It's spooky out here, cold too" mumbled Boomhauer.
"Do it, Redneck!" Kahn shouted.
Hank sighed one more time, pulled out his cellphone and climbed out the van. There was no reason his friends needed to hear Peggy chew him out.
He began dialing the number but stopped. He looked up to see approaching headlights. Possibly help!
He waved his arms out at the approaching car, calling "Hey! Hey you! Stop!"
It eventually slowed to a halt, a green minivan stopping beside them.
A woman driving out at this hour? thought Hank.
The passenger window rolled down, and a man with a clean cut haircut and button up shirt looked at him.
"Can I help you?" He asked. There was neither friendliness nor hostility in his voice.
"Hey, yeah, me and my friends were headed to the Ford Mower show, but my friend... he's an idiot... didn't fill up before leaving Arlen, can you take us to a gas station or something?" Hank asked.
"You going to the Ford Mower show too?" The man asked.
"Yeah! It would be great if you could lend a fellow mower a hand!" Hank exclaimed.
"Hell, I wont just lend a hand, hop on in, I can take you to Dallas!" The man laughed back.
"Hank! What's going on out there? Is he going to help out?" Dale shouted from the Van.
"He's a fellow mower! Heading to Dallas just like we are! He's offering us a ride!" Hank shouted joyfully.
A second later the back of the van burst open and Bill, Boomhauer and Kahn hopped out.
"Woah, there's a few of you, eh?" The man asked, his smile fading quickly.
"Yeah, five of us altogether" said Hank.
"Hmm, that ... that'll do just fine, hop in" He said, pushing the unlock button.
They climbed in, leaving Dale's Dead Bug Van stranded alone on the highway.
"So, what's your name, stranger?" Hank asked.
"Jack, Jack Thompson" said Jack.
"Well, Jack, I would shake your hand if you weren't driving. You heading to Dallas overnight to avoid the traffic too?" asked Hank.
"Yeah, I hate that traffic, man, doesn't work for me" he said, staring down the road the entire time. His face showed no emotion, his lips neither frowning nor smiling. He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a cellphone, typing out a text message with one hand.
"Woah, you're not texting and driving , right?" Hank asked nervously, "That's illegal."
"Sorry about Hank, he's the no fun police!" Dale shouted from the backseat, before bursting out into laughter. Bill, Boomhauer and Kahn joined in.
Hank faked a chuckle before saying "It's just not the safest way to drive."
"The roads empty, it's fine" said Jack, before pushing SEND and setting the phone aside in his pocket.
They drove for another ten minutes, before Jack took a random right onto some country road.
"Woah, where are you going?" Hank asked.
"Short cut, I know these parts" said Jack firmly.
"You sure about that?" Hank asked again, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, like I said, I know these parts"
Hank opened his mouth to argue, but Kahn interrupted him, "Just let the man drive, anything's better than being stuck on the side of the road, or getting driven back home with Peggy!"
"Woah, check that out man, nice bike!" Boomhauer exclaimed. Hank looked over his shoulder out the window, where a dirtbike was off roading beside them.
"Oh right, sometimes the locals drive around at night, just ignore him" said Jack.
The motorist on the dirtbike had a slick looking helmet with a red Mohawk adorning. He revved the engine loudly, looked at them for a second and then sped off in a different direction.
"I wish I had one of those, then I would be out getting the women" said Bill jealously.
"It's tough man, woman ain't as easy as they used to be" said Jack.
"It seemed like it just suddenly all went away... Lenore left me... just have the ring left" Bill's voice trembled slightly.
"Hey, it's tough. But divorce ain't the end, you and me, we just have to pull ourselves out, no matter how hard it gets" Jack said firmly.
Bill looked up, a slight smile on his face.
"Did she take everything from you too?" Bill asked.
"Almost. Left the kids." said Jack.
"And this van?" asked Hank.
Jack ignored him, "Hey, you fella's don't mind if we stop in a little bit? There's a gas station I like nearby, I just want to grab some coffee for the road."
"Nothing wrong with that" said Dale.
Jack took them through a few streets that Hank would have never even seen, passing by dark small town homes and shops.
"Where are we right now?" asked Hank.
"Some friendly little community in the county, don't worry about it" said Jack firmly.
"I kind of wish you had stayed a little closer to the highway" Hank asked again.
"I said, don't worry about it. Here we are."
The minivan slowed to a stop in front of an old looking motel with a single streetlamp for light. Just over half a dozen men were standing around, a few smoking cigarettes. the parking lot was empty except for a few broken bottles and a dirt bike. Hank noted the red Mohawk helmet of the motorist leaning against it.
"What are we doing here?" Hank asked.
"Don't worry about it." Jack replied once more, before turning off the engine and stepping out the van.