To Anybody Who Actually Cares,
I am sick and tired of all of your shit, all of your teasing. I know that I am not the most perfect person in the world and that I have made many mistakes but hell, every one of you have as well. I am one of the youngest countries in the world so how could you all be so perfect and I so stupid and horrible. I hate to ruin your mental image of me but I have held my tongue long enough and I will not take it with me to my grave, which if all goes to plan is where I will be shortly. I hate fast food, and the nasty taste that it leaves in my mouth, I would much rather eat a nice home cooked meal, but sometimes I'm just in a hurry and will not punish myself but not eating. I only shove tons of hamburgers in my mouth as so not to ruin your perception, I've never wanted to let anyone down. That's why I tried so hard to be the hero of the world, not for some ego swelling, self serving reason as many of you seem to believe, but because I want everyone to be happy! All the wars and all the money that I have lended to countries in need, you don't think that it causes me pain or limits the things I myself and my citizens could do. If I kept all the money I have given away I could have ruled the world! But I didn't want to do that, I just wanted to be happy.
Don't any of you understand, can't you feel the pain of your people both past and current generations, and agonize that you can't do anything to stop it or to change the past. Can't you feel the pain as your people turn against you and curse you, burning the flag that you worked so hard to earn? Can't you feel that you are no longer wanted by the world and that everyone would be better off if you were dead. No I guess that's just me, after all you have each other and people who still love and care for you. If you were to fall or your people to die, the world would mourn and praise your name. I on the other hand will be cursed for being a coward and the world will celebrate my fall. After all who wouldn't celebrate the disappearance of a lazy, fat, stupid, arrogant, life ruining, asshole, American? No one, that's who.
So I will grant everyone their wish and I will leave this world. I can only wish you good luck and hope that this miserable fate will never befall any of you. I would never wish this pain on even my worst enemies, not even those I once considered my best friends, those whose betrayal stung the most.
If I could only have one selfish wish, it would be for someone to look after my people, to make sure that they don't suffer and fall in the wake of my death. Canada, my dear brother, if you would do me this one last favor I would be eternally grateful, that is if you care about the wishes of the ass of the world. Even if they have forsaken me and curse my name and the very fundaments that I stand for I will always love them. My love for all of you is what is making me do this, that and my pain.
To Anybody Who Actually Cares
Thank you for caring and thank you for trying but I can only hope that you are much too late. For as much as I love every single one of you I hate you as well. I wish you to suffer the knowledge that you have caused my death so that you might never forget what your careless thoughts, words, and actions can do to another person.
And now at last I will be gone.
And there is nothing you can ever do to or for me again.
Signed,
Alfred F. Jones
The Federal Republic of the United States of America
A/N sorry this took so long and that its probably not what you wanted, but I'm having major writers block. this is the letter that America wrote right before he shot himself. you can thank my creative writing class for this, they asked me to write it. I hope you all like it!