"So, wait," Lilly said breathlessly, continuing her mindless 30 minute run on the treadmill. "You're saying you want to use Hannah Montana to get Jake to like you?"

Miley stopped lifting weights and glanced around the fitness center nervously. Empty. "Yeah, that's the idea,"

Lilly burst out laughing, her body shaking as she stepped off the treadmill. "Miley, that's so stupid." she leaned against the handle of the workout machine. "He already knows you're Hannah Montana,"

"Yeah," Miley rolled her eyes, "but you forgot something. Jake's famous."

Lilly squinted, not seeing where the big gaping hole in her theory was. "Okay….so?"

"So," Miley mocked her best friend's tone as she jogged across the room for a glass of water. "His publicist will think I, under disguise as Hannah's publicist, am brilliant for digging Hannah Montana up and sticking her with Jake. Think about it, Lilly," Miley grinned, her brown eyebrows raised. "Popstar Risen From The Depths of Hollywood Cemetery Dates Major TV Star."

"Hannah Montana and Jake," Lilly nodded, slowly enjoying the sound of the plan. "Hake. Or Jannah."

Miley's brows furrowed and she shook her head quickly. "No. Just Hannah and Jake."

The blond BFF rolled up the sleeves of her electric blue Juicy hoodie and shrugged. "Okay, so your plan has huge gaping holes in it. But, I've never known you to care."

"That's right," Miley snickered, wrapping a hand around the bamboo door handle and pulling the glass door open. "You coming?"

"Yup," Lilly checked her Marc by Marc Jacobs leather watch. "I, um…have to get ready for the beach party with Zane."

"See?" Miley smirked slyly. "It's not just me. Everybody's getting bitten by the love bug."

And one of those people is going to be Jake, Miley assured herself.

***

"Okay, I'm ready." Lilly breathed, looking at her reflection in the mirror. "How do I look?"

"Fantastic. Really." Miley told her thumbnail, wondering which nail polish color looked better. Tremendous Teal or Passionate Purple?

"Miley!" Lilly said, tucking a stray lock from her updo behind her ear. "You're not even looking!"

"Oh, sorry," Miley's eyes shot up to her best friend. "Turn around, I can't see you."

Lilly rotated 180 degrees and smiled brightly. "Okay, now how do I look?"

Miley gave her friend a quick once over. A Nicole Miller silk paisley halter mini dress(stolen from Lilly's older sister's closet), Bo'Em thong sandals(stolen from Miley's closet), and an array of coral enamel bracelets. Not to mention a flawless layer of foundation, thanks to Bree at Spa Honu, and an adorable purple Linea Pelle clutch.

Miley felt like the frickin' ugly duckling.

"You look great," Miley assured her best friend, smiling warmly. "Really; you do."

A well-disguised happy squeal escaped out of the corner of Lilly's lips and she clapped her hands excitedly. "Awesome! Now," Lilly said, her exposed shoulders back with newfound confidence, "I'll be downstairs on the beach with Zane if you're looking for me. Are you sure you don't wanna come, Miley, because I know you'll love it. And Jake's gonna be there…"

Miley bit down on her lip for a long time. Five hours on the white sand beach, partying with hot Hawaiian studs(a.k.a Jake, even though he wasn't Hawaiian) vs. staying in the hotel room wallowing in her own filth. The latter was, of course, completely inviting(if you were a caveman), but she'd have to go with the beach party. A triumphant smirk spread across her face.

"I'll meet you there, Lilly!" Miley's brain was already going into overdrive scanning through cute outfits.

***

Much to Miley's disappointment, few heads turned when she stepped onto the white sand beach, lit with paper lanterns. Despite the absolutely adorable outfit she was sporting.

A electronic remix of a song by the Black Eyed Peas and a Hawaiian luau beat boomed through the big black speakers positioned on each side of the beach. Pointlessly uncomfortable bamboo and wicker couches with cream cushions lined the perimeter of the party spot.

Suddenly, as Miley was surveying the place, her hopeful smile dipped into a curious frown. There was her best friend, leaning on the side of a totem pole, staring down at her Cosmopolitan, obviously interested in the orange peel resting at the bottom of the glass.

"Lilly!" Miley shrieked over the booming music, walking as quickly across the beach as her satin Christian Louboutin slingbacks would allow her. Apparently, Christian didn't think of making flats.

Lilly Truscott glanced up from her drink, her blue eyes opening wide as she noticed her best friend dashing towards her.

Miley snatched her best friend's tanned forearm. Her blue-green eyes bore into Lilly's. "What are you doing over here? Without Zane?"

Lilly shrugged, trying not to let a tear fall down her cheek. "He's—he's not here."

"Oh, really?" Miley cried, her anger pointing towards Lilly's used-to-be date. "I'll find him, Lilly, don't worry."

Miley, bubbling over with sudden anger, craned her neck. Her silver earrings dangled over the shoulders of her pink printed tunic mini dress. "There he is!" Miley thrust a Prissy Pink-painted index finger towards the perpetrator.

Sure enough, the surfer-hot dude(or in Miley's words, dud) sat on a couch, with his hairy arm wrapped around the shoulders of some girl, who was staring at him rather sexually.

"I can't look," Lilly squeaked, turning her face away. "I can't believe he's here with someone else,"

"Man-whore," Miley grumbled. "Wait here, Lilly," Miley instructed, taking Lilly's glass and storming across the beach, her kimono sleeves billowing in the sea breeze.

"Zane!" Miley cried, skidding to a stop in front of Lilly's supposed date.

Surprised, Zane glanced up, obviously intoxicated. Once he noticed who it was, a drunken smile totally changed his whole expression. "Mil-AAAY!"

Miley put her hands on her narrow hips and cocked her head. "Weren't you supposed to be on a date with Lilly tonight?"

Zane slapped a hand to his pink lips. "Uh-oh. I forgotzees!" He burst out laughing, a spray of saliva showering Miley. Wrinkling her button nose in disgust, Miley stepped a few steps forward and jabbed a finger into Zane's defined chest.

"Listen up, Zanneee," Miley drew out his name, saying it like she would say "gross". "I know who you are. You. Are. A. Man-Whore. You don't care about Lilly, do you? I didn't think so. So, why don't you just give it a rest and leave girls alone, okay?" Miley snickered. "Oh, I know your type. I know your type so well. You get girls hopes up, and then you make them suffer. You suffocate them in your fist, thinking you're on top of the world. Well, listen—"

"Hey, hey!" His "date" slurred and stood up, finger near Miley's face. "You listen, sister."

Miley crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. "Oh. My. God. She's a keeper, Zanie-boy. Enjoy the rest of your useless life, because this is pretty much the climax."

She stomped off, a few cheers coming from other drunks, a couple of rude comments shouted at her over the music. But she didn't care. Her best friend was in trouble, and that was all that mattered.

"You didn't have to do that," Lilly said, giggling. "Miley, that was not necessary."

"Trust me, Lilly," Miley said, the smile growing on her face. "If you don't treat 'em that way, they'll just keep crawling back."

Inwardly, Miley sighed, wishing it was the same way with Jake.