Ashley the Genie Presents

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Scorned Bebe

Chapter Two:
Sock Bath vs. Bebe's Wrath

Bebe woke up the next morning, determined to make the best of this valentine's day, despite the fact that her valentine could probably barely afford to buy her any chocolates or flowers. No matter, he was better than Cartman. Since Bebe expected to meet him at the school, she was surprised to hear her doorbell ring during breakfast.

"Wendy?" Bebe was not prepared for what was to come.

"Hey, sweetie! Are you ready to go?" from under his hood, Bebe could tell Kenny was beaming at her. Oh dear lord... he wasn't planning on humiliating her, was he?

"Kenny! We're supposed to meet by the jungle gym where everyone can see us!" Bebe grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently.

"Bebe, is everything alright?" With all the panicked thoughts running through her mind, Bebe failed to notice that her father had come to the door with her as well. "Who is this boy?" he demanded to know.

"It's OK, dad. Just go finish your pancakes." Reluctantly, Bebe's dad walked off. "Kenny, it was very sweet of you to show up early, and I appreciate the gesture, but I really need to be seen with you in public. Understand?"

Kenny wondered what 'sweet gesture' she was talking about. He just came down here to see if she had any leftovers from breakfast, as he was pretty tired of frozen waffles. Still, Kenny felt it best not to give that away. Perhaps if Bebe still thought he came here out of the kindness of his heart, she would let him eat with her. He must've looked pretty desperate, because Bebe finally sighed and invited him in. Kenny did a little mental victory dance, knowing he had won a free meal, twenty bucks, and a kiss at the end of the day.

"Here, you can finish my pancakes. I have to watch my figure." Bebe said, patting her stomach. "I'll go upstairs and get my shoes on. Wait here." Kenny failed to tell her that a couple of pancakes probably wouldn't kill her, since fourth graders tended to have high metabolisms. He just wanted her pancakes.

Slightly, Kenny sank down in his chair when he noticed Bebe's dad peering at him from over his newspaper, trying to be subtle. Of course, he was a dad, and dads could never be subtle about that sort of thing. Ever. Avoid eye contact. Kenny thought.

"I'm back." As Bebe was coming down the stairs, Kenny noticed she looked more flawless than usual, even though she had only gone upstairs to put on a pair of shoes. Coincidentally, Kenny noticed things he hadn't noticed about her before, like the shiny blonde ringlets that framed her face and her big blue eyes, because that's always how a romantic relationship begins. "Bye dad, I'll see you after school." Bebe's soft arm linked with Kenny's, even though he was wearing a parka and it was impossible for him to even tell her arm was soft. In fact, Bebe herself was also wearing a sweater.

Bebe had hoped they would run into at least one person on their way to school, but none so far. She wanted to walk today, like many of the fourth grade girls who wanted to flaunt their valentines. Bebe was no exception. However, when they did arrive, Bebe saw many of the girls clinging to their dates. Not to be left out, Bebe tightened her grip on Kenny, and started speaking in a loud, obnoxious manner. "Kenny, you'll walk me to class, right?"

Bebe silently hoped they wouldn't notice she snagged him at the very last minute. Well, her prayers were answered, for all the other girls were worried about their own valentine dates, and she saw that the other girls asked their dates to walk them to class. The boys seemed to be a little frustrated at this, since they were all going to the same place anyway. He could hear many of the boys muttering things like "God, I fucking hate this holiday." The girls were oblivious to this, though.

Kenny decided not to complain. If he was a bad valentine, Bebe might not give him twenty bucks. Which will probably result in him trying way too hard, and setting higher standards for the other boys. This would also result in him being the most hated boy in the school, which might result in another sock bath. Like in that one episode where everyone got lice. Hmm... twenty bucks and another sock bath? Or no money at the end of the day and perhaps face the wrath of Bebe?

Kenny remembered what his mother once told him; 'Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned, Kenny McCormick. If you forget that, I'll kick yer ass. Or yer new girlfriend will. Whichever comes first."

Deciding that another sock bath was well worth it, Kenny gladly walked Bebe to the classroom. He would've pulled out her chair for her, as well, if they weren't attached to the desks. When all of the other girls walked in, Kenny made a huge point to hand Bebe the bag of chocolate he managed to afford. Hey, if that kid could save up for a PSP and a game to go with it, he could certainly save up for a bag of chocolate. Living in poverty had, ironically, taught Kenny how to manage the money he got.

"For me?" Bebe blushed, not knowing if it was on purpose. There was actually no need for her to blush, because that would just make them look like a couple. Still, Kenny was doing well considering he was one of the last valentine choices, and she would probably be pondering later on whether or not to pick him next year. All of the other girls were glaring, obviously jealous of her having a decent valentine. She could hear the whispers.

"Did you see that? He gave her chocolates right in the middle of the classroom!"

"Yeah! I can't even get Craig to hold my hand!"

Bebe had no idea just how much that twenty dollars was helping her.

At lunch time Kenny offered to carry her tray, and behaved like a complete gentleman, despite the fact that 'gentleman' was not often a word used to describe Kenny McCormick. Using the skills he had learned from watching whatever television he managed to watch when they had a TV, he did his best to 'woo her' as the romantic men said.

Throughout the day, Wendy (like the rest of the fourth grade girls) noticed that Kenny was falling all over himself to be a good valentine. Yet, Bebe looked like she hardly noticed, or she didn't want to. If Kenny did have a crush on her, it would be her job to break his heart.

Twenty dollars... Kenny thought I get twenty dollars when this is all over.

Wendy thought this might be a little less weird at recess. Wrong. It was even worse. They were stuck together like gum, and Wendy wondered if she and Stan looked like that when they got all mushy. It was... nauseating. No wonder Stan always threw up.

Actually, Bebe was starting to freak out, if only slightly. When they walked out onto the playground and everyone looked over at them, Kenny wrapped an arm around her waist, which really wasn't necessary. "Don't you think you're getting a little too into this whole 'valentine' thing?" she whispered to Kenny.

Kenny didn't hear her, as he was caught up in his own thoughts. Twenty whole dollars. What could I buy with that?

He led her over to the bench and wiped away some snow so she would have a place to sit. The trouble arrived when he heard the other girls complaining.

"You didn't do that for me! How come I have to stand here, while Bebe gets a nice spot on the bench?" Why did girls make such a fuss over this stupid holiday?

Over by the jungle gym, Cartman was throwing a fit about not having a valentine. "Alright, I see how it is. I don't need a girl to make me happy! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."

Stan finally met up with Kyle, who had Nellie clinging to his arm. "Dude, do you see Kenny? I've never seen him concentrate that hard on one thing. Unless it was boobs or money." Stan pointed out

"Yeah." Kyle replied. "I'm a little worried about him."

Wendy kept silent, deciding it would be funnier not to tell them that Bebe offered Kenny twenty bucks, and twenty bucks fell into the category of 'boobs and money' as Stan had so bluntly put it.

After recess, Kenny's behavior did not improve. In fact, the roles were completely reversed, with Bebe being the boy who couldn't wait for the end of the day, and Kenny being the clingy girl. The only difference was the fact that he had given her chocolates and he was only trying to help her have a good valentine's day. Bebe tried numerous times to get him to let go of her, but he insisted she might get cold. In reality, Bebe was already wearing a sweater and didn't need Kenny smothering her to keep warm.

Throughout the day, it only got worse.

"No, Kenny! You cannot go into the girls' bathroom with me! I forbid it!"

"I just wanna make sure you don't get lonely!"

"Kenny, I will be in there three minutes tops, and you'll be right outside the door. I doubt I'll get lonely. I just need some space, okay?"

"Are you..." For some reason Kenny felt heartbroken. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Bebe just nodded at him. Why was he being such a drama queen? Their relationship had lasted a few hours... which is a little longer that most fourth grade relationships if you don't count Stan and Wendy.

"What's his name?" Kenny's feelings went from heartbroken to angry. "It's Kyle, isn't it? That manwhore! I'll kick his ass!" Kenny tried to storm off, but Bebe ruined the moment.

"It's not Kyle." Though he does have a pretty sweet ass. Bebe left that part out. "Look, let's just try to survive today and I'll give you your twenty after school's over."

Oh yeah... that's why I'm doing this. Kenny apparently didn't have the best memory.

Bebe felt so proud of herself. Only in fourth grade and this was her second breakup! She was on a roll. By high school, she could master every single "I'm breaking up with you" style whether it was "It's not you, it's me" or "I think we should start seeing other people".

However, the day was not over yet.