A/N: Thank you for so many positive responses to this story. I know some of you said it was sad and I am sorry for that. But as a fan of GSR, we should all be well acquainted with angst. I think we need to petition to have an "A" added to GSR. Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review.

-2-

Grissom had spent the better part of the last six months working with the CDC and the WHO. They had sought out his entomological expertise for a less costly way of dealing with Chagas Disease, a disease transmitted by the bite of the commonly known "kissing bug". It was important work. Work that held great satisfaction for Grissom as a scientist and as a human being.

Since becoming affiliated with the World Health Organization, Grissom felt a renewed vitality to his work. A vitality that he hadn't truly felt in many years. Of course all the time spent as a crime scene investigator brought him great satisfaction, but there were aspects of the job that he never wanted to participate in. The politics, the schmoozing for funding, the rules – yeah damn those rules.

Working as a primarily independent scientist meant that Grissom was not bogged down by such things. Sure there were grants to apply for requiring specific papers and scientific studies, but they were in no way near the roadblocks that he faced in Vegas. And right from the start, he could work with his wife – side by side, together, always.

Sara. Grissom wasn't sure if there ever was a name in the world that provoked so many mixed emotions for him. Jesus might be rightly characterized as the most controversial name in world's history, but in Grissom's world it was her name.

He wasn't kidding that day when he told Ecklie that there had been a relationship between them for nine years. To Grissom, the moment he saw her, he knew his life would never be the same. A scientist does not believe in such trivial emotional responses as love at first sight, but Grissom could not shake the fact that something changed in him the day he first met Sara Sidle.

Now he was driving in a rented car from McCarran past the street that lead to his old life, his soon to be ex-wife, and onto his mother's house. He hadn't seen her in three months and while she was still spry, he did not want to let too much time go by between visits. Besides he was hoping that Sara had finally signed the divorce papers and forwarded them to his attorney. Since he spent so much time out of the country and no longer having any permanent residence in the States, he listed his mother's address for mail purposes.

Spending relaxing time with his mother was getting harder and harder lately. At first she simply would not embrace Sara as his wife. One plant had not taken away all the bad feelings between them. It took some time but after Sara started taking Betty to dinner frequently, they became close. Grissom would join them when he was in town. It was hard to tell his mother that he had filed for divorce. To his amazement, even though Sara had seen his mother since their talk, she hadn't told Betty.

Betty Grissom loved her only child but she was also fully aware of the idiosyncrasies that made up her son. She was surprised at how well Sara had fit into Gil Grissom's world. It was due to those two facts that made Grissom's filing for divorce hard for her to understand. She tried to broach the subject every chance she got, but even a formidable woman as Betty could not pull out of Grissom what his reasons really were.

Grissom had not been able to get half of his meal eaten before Betty began her usual questioning. Meals used to be quiet time for them as signing was difficult while eating. But Betty seemed not to be hungry that evening so her hands were willing and available. Grissom was as polite as he could be when he cut her off. Signing that he would clean up the kitchen later, he grabbed his coat and keys and left.

Grissom had no clue where he was going when he hopped into the rental. Vegas just was not Vegas anymore for him. There was no appeal to gamble or stroll down the strip. There was no one he particularly wanted to see truth be told. There just wasn't anything there for him any longer.

He drove around for a while and was surprised that the car seemed to steer itself down that particular street. He pulled up to the house and shut off the engine. He didn't know why he was there really and wasn't sure if he should try to knock on the door. It had been such a long time since they had seen each other or even corresponded. What could they possibly say to one another?

It was such a quiet street. Grissom thought he might simply sit outside the house in serene reflection. Yet surprisingly he longed for conversation all of a sudden. Conversation from someone who might be able to put a fresh perspective on things. He decided to stop hemming and hawing and went up to the door. He rang the bell and at first there seemed to be no one home. He was about to turn around when the door opened.

"Gil?"

"I didn't interrupt anything did I?" Grissom asked as he was led into the hallway. A dismissive wave of the hand greeted his question. He was then led into the den.

"Can I get you something to drink? Scotch?" Grissom nodded as he removed his coat and sat down. The den was surprisingly warm in rich mahogany tones. Grissom noted that aside from a few additional pictures that the room hadn't changed since he was last there more than five years ago.

"You don't seem surprised to see me," Grissom said as he took his drink.

"I had a feeling you would eventually make an appearance," Jim Brass said sitting down across from Grissom. "You look good. Tan. Lost a bit of weight."

"Why Jim surprised you noticed."

"Divorce agrees with you." Ah, there's the snark. Typical Brass – not one to hold his punches.

"I guess Sara filled you in," Grissom half said, half asked. Brass sensed some bitterness in Grissom's voice and he wasn't in the mood for it.

"Well she didn't sky write it above the lab if that's what you're talking about. In fact, she said nothing until she was forced to when that idiot Basderic came after her."

"Basderic?" Grissom looked shocked.

"That's your problem. You two don't talk," Brass said getting up and pouring another shot. "Or you don't listen. Either way how you both manage to muck things up is tragic."

"Well," Grissom started to speak but then decided to polish off his drink first. He set the glass down on the table and said, "I wasn't sure why I came here but regardless I can see it was a mistake. Thanks for the drink Jim." Grissom stood up and grabbed his coat. He was walking to the door when Brass spoke.

"I lost the only woman I ever loved more than fifteen years ago when I was dumb enough to divorce her. Always thought there would be a day when we would reconnect. A cop is not trained to have dreams, especially pipe ones. But the horrors of the job you see almost daily don't wipe out hope completely. Creeps back in now and again. Starts ya thinking. Damn fool thing to do."

"You survived it Jim," Grissom replied standing at the doorway. "Divorce wasn't the end of your life." Brass mumbled something and Grissom asked him to repeat what he had said.

"Her death was." Grissom's eyes widened. He didn't know about Brass' ex-wife or what had happened with Ellie. He had removed himself almost entirely from anything or anyone associated with Vegas months before. Grissom walked back to the chair and sat down, hoping that would encourage Brass to continue talking.

Brass poured out his heart over the next couple of drinks. Grissom finally brought the bottle over so he didn't need to keep getting up. It almost felt like old times only Brass was more reflective, more open, more broken than Grissom had ever seen him. He hurt for his friend. And he was scared – for his friend and for himself. All his life, Grissom felt that he needed nothing except his work. He fought Sara for so long because he did not think he could ever change enough to give what he knew she needed. What he felt she deserved from him.

Brass grew silent. He felt spent with the little he divulged about his life in Jersey, the fights, the affairs, the raw emotions. "You know the night before we found Morgan and Ellie, Nancy and I were sitting outside and we had one of the best talks we ever had. We both admitted things that could have saved us so much heartache if we had only said those words years ago."

"Hindsight," Grissom said softly. Brass nodded his head and then handed his glass to Grissom. Grissom retrieved the bottle from the floor and poured another shot.

"So, why did you file for divorce?" Grissom put his head down. "You're having an affair? You suspect her of having one? You're dying and you don't want her to suffer? You're just an idiot?"

"I'm not having an affair and so far so good health wise."

"Okay so you're just an idiot. I've thought that for years." Grissom groaned. "Come on man tell me what happened."

"You know when she left Vegas the first time, she wrote me a letter telling me that she felt like she had loved me forever. I related to that so well. Intrigued, captivated – she kept me on my toes. I fought it for so long but I just couldn't deny myself any longer. And then she was gone."

"You understood why she had to leave right?" Brass asked non judgmentally.

"It was hard but yes I understood what she needed to do. When Warrick died, I asked her to stay but she couldn't. Vegas represented death to her. I thought at that time that I did too."

"But you finally got your head out of your ass and went after her."

"You were so much more eloquent when you were talking about your life."

"It comes and goes," Brass replied and then motioned for him to continue.

"Yes I got it together and went after her. It was not what I had expected. It was so much more. There was a part of me that was missing for so long and I didn't even know it. But putting that ring on her finger just made everything complete."

"So then what happened? We were all shocked that she came back to work, and we all wondered if you two could survive the distance. She seemed so happy and you two aren't exactly normal." Grissom raised an eyebrow. "But it made sense that she needed to come back here and face what you said represented death to her."

"Yes she did and that was why I was supportive of her. And at first it worked. I missed her but we've both been tenacious about our work so at times it wasn't a big deal that we weren't physically together all the time. Then I guess I went back to my old ways and started missing her calls. Forgetting special days. Two months turned into three and I hadn't made a trip home."

"It sounds like you wanted to bail."

"Do you know how hard it was to hear her voice?" Grissom voiced started to rise. "She always sounded so happy, so fulfilled. I wanted her to find closure but I never expected her to find a way to live without me."

"You're full of bat guano you know that?"

"Bat guano?" Grissom replied with one of his signature raised eyebrow.

"Reading a book on refinement," Brass replied as Grissom rolled his eyes. "Seriously Gil, she wasn't finding a life without you. I think she finally allowed herself to be happy because she got what she wanted – you. Taking yourself out of the equation sure didn't make her happy." Grissom pondered Brass' words for a moment and then asked Brass if he thought Sara was happy now.

"Resigned – yes. Happy – no."

"She has the guys though right? I'm sure Greg has been there for her."

"Yes as much as he can," Brass replied. "But Greg's been spending time with Morgan." Grissom looked curiously at Brass until Jim reminded him who Morgan was.

"Oh yeah David Hodges actually wrote me an email about her a while back. What about this DB? Sara did mention that the new supervisor was a kindred spirit to her. She said she felt pretty close to him." Brass chuckled.

"You think she has a thing for supervisors? She would beat you down if she heard you say that." Grissom nodded in acquiescence. "No actually she and Nick have been spending a lot of time together apparently."

"Nick huh?"

TBC