Missing You. Part 2 of 3

It was late and the only real light in the wards' long corridors was the light at the staff areas. He could hear monitors beep, hushed voices. The family room flickered with the pictures on the TV screen and eyes watched him as he passed by. A few patients there sat watching passing the boredom.

The main areas quieter now, the odd doctor and nurse moving quickly between departments. Outside he was met with a waft of smoke that swirled in front of him, the smell foul. His nose wrinkled up with his mouth.

"You want one?" A young girl offered Brendan her packet of cigarettes, he shook his head.

"No, I don't smoke"

"Oh okay, probably best. They're not good for you"

"So I hear" Brendan shrugged with a wiry smile. The air humid, as dusk descended over the sky he watched the orange pinky glow sighing loudly. He couldn't believe he'd left Ste like that, but he is so vulnerable at the moment, Brendan's focus his recovery.

"Wanna talk about it?" The girl again. He didn't want to be rude but chatting was the last thing on his mind right now.

"I've been in a while now; the place scared me at first. Hospitals, they are like that especially when you have to stay in"

Brendan turned to look at her "I'm visiting, but have spent most of my days here"

"Oh? A relative? Partner?"

Brendan wasn't sure how to answer that question anymore, he wasn't sure they'd even got back together again. "My boyfriend, he's in here" He went with his heart, that's what Steven was to him.

"Aw, that's lovely. He took drugs too huh?" The girl saddened and brought her arms up to her chest, dressing gown hanging loose around her smaller frame.

"What?!"

"It's what a lot of patients here are for. I am too. I always thought I'd get away with it, in the end half the time I took it to block out the bad things in my life you know? Now I've irreversible damage and I've lost everything"

Brendan's mouth held open a little as he listened to the woman. She seemed so young to have been told such a thing. The side effects of drug taking never more on show. Brendan swallowed and moved to touch her arm, she felt frail and tiny.

"I'm sorry, is there no recovery?"

"No, but I took them a long time though. That man of yours, make sure you stick by him, because once you lose the person who keeps your world together, the harder it becomes to fight for yourself"

The girl smiled turning to leave "I hope he'll be okay, by the looks of it, you're a keeper" Her wink lightens Brendan, he watches her walk back into the hospital slowly, obviously in pain. He thinks about Steven, and wonders why he's stood out here rather than being with him. Cherishing him, because life isn't always so kind.

A noise behind him has Ste turning. Looking up as Brendan pushed open the door, standing there in the doorway he hadn't said a word, just looked at him intently.

"Are you okay? Brendan?"

Brendan moved to the bed quickly gripping the bed sheet in his hand and flinging it off Ste, the younger man stared in anticipation and noticed the look Brendan had. He was starved for him; he could see it in his eyes. Ste's heart raced, body flushed instantly under the watchful eyes of Brendan. Ste swallowed and lowered his hands slowly to the edge of his top and dragged the material up in folds.

Brendan's eyes followed his movements, close enough to help, but he didn't, just watched carefully. The hair on Ste's legs as thick as ever, Brendan's hand moved to stroke over the softness of it, trailed his finger pads slowly up to his thighs and the smooth contact took his breath. The feel of Ste's skin breathed life back into his lungs again.

Ste's arms crossed while his hands pulled off the blue top he wore and let it drop to the floor, eyes still on Brendan; he was now left in his boxers. His cock prominent through his boxers, Brendan held his hands either side of him as he moved down and cupped his mouth against it, sucked through the cotton at Ste's cock darkening the colour of the material with his saliva. Ste hitched a breath and Brendan turned his head to look at him backing off to remove his trousers.

Ste feels the flush spread over his skin like a wildfire; it burns desire through his pores. He watches Brendan walk over to the bottom of the bed and wait a moment. He's thinking, Ste knows what he wants and when his hands round his ankles and move them apart it tingles between his open thighs.
All it takes is a look from Brendan, eyes that push all the right buttons. Ste knows he's blushing before his body makes it clear. He's hot when they're together and like this the heat produces on tap. A little sweat beads down his neck, and it's him that makes him feel like this, hot erotic, sexy.

Brendan cherishes Ste every time, loves Brendan's big hands on him, those hands that not only protect but tease the breath from his lips. Ste held his arm out to him and Brendan climbed on the bed and straddled over his legs. Lowered till their mouths were almost touching, Ste placed his hands against the metal of the headboard and griped his fingers tightly, gazed up through his long eyelashes and connected with Brendan's blue eyes.

"I want to make love to ye."

Ste swallowed deeply "Take your time, I want to feel you everywhere"

Brendan thumbed down Ste's hips and rid his body of the boxers while Ste pulled out Brendan's length and made him thicken in his palm, ripped open a condom packet and rolled it over him. They didn't kiss just watched each other intently. Brendan's hands stroked Ste's legs open, his body jerking with Ste's hand held tight palmed. He let go and held his hand back at the while metal of the bed behind him, watched Brendan move himself lower, keeping Ste's gaze as he did, watched the younger man gasp aroused before he'd even touched him.

Brendan parted Ste's cheeks and fingered across the pink hole, Ste jolted with it, hips keening with hunger.

"Nobody touched ye here?"

"No, never anyone else" Ste was breathless, heart beating so fast.

"Ye remember how I touch ye?" Brendan leaned down and licked a wide tongued line across Ste's entrance. "And how ye liked it"

"I remember everything…" Ste's head sank against the pillow behind him as Brendan's tongue entered his insides. The warm wet feeling surrounding his walls inciting a pleasure no man besides Brendan had ever managed too.

Ste let go of the bed, gripped his hands into Brendan's hair holding tightly pulled him in closer. Widened his legs to drape over the sides of the bed and rocked his hips against Brendan's playful tongue. Ste can feel Brendan's tongue tickle inside him,rough wet strikes that coil and coat his walls moist. His dick pools wet as he keens his hips up at the feeling of it, Brendan's moustashe and beard pressed close to his skin it brushes softly against his cheeks.

Brendan captures Ste's wet pre come on his thumb when it secretes and circles it around the head of his erection,pressing into the slit feels like a spark of static each time,surges through his veins and hardens his nipples sensitive to the touch.

Ste hisses with pleasure,squeezes and pulls at them making Brendan flick his eyes up to watch. Changing his position he moves and laps away the pre come off his cock with a precise tongue, suckles more away with an open mouth and when their eyes connect they stay that way and make each other's arousal heighten to almost climax.

Brendan studies his young lover, his eyes closed and mouth so wide. He looks in bliss and so beautiful. Brendan fists his sheaved cock and placed it at Ste's hole.

"Hey" Brendan spoke and when Ste opened his eyes and looked at him he pushed inside him. Ste gasped and then smiled. Brendan too, moving down across Ste and settling close to his face he slowly inched all the way in.

"I want ye" Brendan's voice sends a thrill through Ste's body,shamefully pooling more pre come at the head of his cock and Brendan grins. Teases moving up his body so slowly Ste nearly passes out with the way he looks at him.

"Bren...make me come" Ste feels Brendan enter him so deeply he needs to be reminded just how to breathe again. His thickness fills him so tightly there's not an inch he doesn't feel penetrate him. In and out, upward thrusts at his sweet spot and it's then he hears his low cries, those moans that echo ecstasy. Ste opens his eyes to see Brendan's and his mouth that's parted and panting as he enters his walls.

"So tight" he whispers

He'd waited so long for his touch. Ste's body blossomed into goose bumps. Nothing felt more right.

He wanted to moan louder, scream even, but where they were prevented it.

"I missed this, us" Brendan kisses against Ste's neck as he spoke

Ste lifted his legs and tied them in a cross behind Brendan. Lifted them higher, clenched his muscle for a tighter friction that had them moaning together. Brendan took his time with Ste, methodical movements, the walls tight, every push and pull heightened their arousal. Brendan eased back, eyes firmly hypnotising Ste's, his hands clasped Ste's arms above his head, mouth held open he ghosted their lips together and rocked in and out with slow, deep thrusts.

They kissed finally and Ste couldn't suppress the noises anymore. He didn't care anymore he wasn't gonna hold back for anybody. Brendan followed suit moaning too, directly into Ste's ear along with words spoken only for Ste. "You're so fucking perfect"

"Just kiss me"

Ste whimpers as his legs move higher, fingers drag his hole wider and Brendan kisses air back into his lungs again. They kiss forever, deep slicked tongue strokes while their bodies writhe as one with wet heat.

"Uh…oh…god…Brendan" Ste's arms tightened along with his legs, hips moving higher, his prostate banged against harder, faster as Brendan's orgasm built up into a fever. Ste's cock rubbed against Brendan's belly, created enough friction, he climaxed with it, with Brendan buried deep inside him.

"I love you." Ste's frantic with his words, his kisses. Cannot get enough of Brendan. " I never stopped I swear."

"I know. I do. I'm sorry I made ye feel so bad before, and I know ye needed comfort. I have never stopped wanting ye" Brendan whispered, "It kills me to think of anyone else touching my boy"

"I'm still your boy?"

Ste choked as the tears fell he held Brendan tightly against his body.

"Ye always will be, I love ye Steven" Brendan's voice barely a whisper against his ear, the warm words traveled through Ste's body and made it tremble. Brendan tried to move but Ste held on tighter.

"Stay inside me, please. I need to feel you still" Ste's hands smoothed over the peach of Brendan's arse and held him closer.

"Okay." Brendan's lips cupped against Ste's earlobe and kissed pulled against the flesh lovingly.

Ste relaxed his body a little then, moved his legs down but kept them crossed, his feet settles over his soft arse and stroked back and forth against the skin and scatter of hair. Brendan continued to kiss at his body, moving from his ear to the side of his neck, lazy tongued kisses, little suckles and bites keeping his body still electrified.

"Did you dream of us?" Ste asked in a low voice, the lights out and curtains drawn slightly he watched the moonlight as the world slowed down for them.

"Hmm, a lot actually" Brendan moved a little just so he could look into Ste's blue crystal eyes again and swim in them. His thumb traced over his soft lips. "They were different ones. Some we were like this, and I was making ye wet"

Ste smirked "I had those dreams too, a lot" Ste sucked Brendan's thumb into his mouth and kept it there while his tongue shifted it's length.

"Yeah?"

Ste nodded releasing his thumb. "I masturbated thinking of you. I came with your name on my lips"

"I thought of ye too. Whenever I was alone it was ye who kept me company,ye kept me going in the darkest of times"

An don't laugh I bought something…you know."

Brendan widened his eyes "I know do I?"

Ste blushed "Cause I wasn't having anyone else…only you. I pictured us together, and it was in the beginning when you first left"

"So…you pictured me when you used a d…"

"Shurrup Bren! It's embarrassing enough okay?"

"It's not. Just when I think ye can't surprise me more. maybe I can watch ye use it now, hmm?" Brendan grinned kissing Ste and licking into his mouth.

"Really? You'd wanna see me do that?"

"Yeah, cause I do. Show me."

"Okay" Ste nibbles his bottom lip through his grin, Brendan's eyes are seducing him, flirty. He's so hot; he can feel their heat boiling to the touch.

"What else ye buy? Am I gonna be seeing handcuffs, leather?"

"Can ya pack it in?"

"Blindfold? Ah Steven ye are a minx" Brendan's laugh booms around the room and Ste can't help laugh with him, this moment couldn't be more embarrassing, or amazing.

"Brennnnn"

"Stevennnnn"

"Bloody sod"

Ste's colour changes to deep magenta, his eyes flick at the window for a moment trying to hide his embarrassment, but he needn't bother, Brendan loves that about him, turns him on. Brendan uses his fingers to bring their lips together again, and for untold moments they kiss forever, such languid and sensual movements it causes Ste to shiver through them, they're getting to know each others mouths again, tongue strokes creating throbs in their groins.

Brendan moved off Ste and pulled him against his chest as he laid back on the bed "This is forever now Steven"

Ste nodded "We get our happy ever after. How can we though when I've messed up? Look at me Bren, waste of space druggie"

"Ye pack that in, we will fight this together, I don't care how hard the challenge. Ye are everything; I can't live my life without ye. Only reason I survived in there was knowing I'd find ye again"

"Listen to you, you turned romantic."

"Being in that place changes ye, I realised once I got out things would be how it should be. I am gonna look after ye, provide the future ye deserve. Get our kids back"

Ste feels the loss as Brendan moves up and pulls on his boxers again. Ste edges up and Brendan pulls the cover over them. Ste slips into Brendan's comforting arms and settles at his chest.

"When are you gonna ask me?"

"What?"

"Why"

"I just hoped you'd tell me" Brendan fingers through Ste's hair holding on tighter. "What's it like?"

"It's like…being taken to another world. I know you walk around still, and see people" Ste nudged himself up a little "But it's more relaxed, and you don't even care. Like… if someone started shouting at you for instance. You'd just laugh it off. Or on the other hand, you can get angry and snap at people." Ste flicked his gaze at Brendan quickly.

"The comedown is bad though, the craving hurts so bad."

Brendan takes a deep sigh listening to Ste talk, continuing to stroke his hair up through his fingers and map it down flat again. His lips come down and kiss him there too, more than once; it's a comfort thing for him as it is for Ste he finds. Laying here with Ste in his arms is more than he'd dreamed of; he was scared to let go.

Ste seemed to realise something was wrong and squeezed his body closer, kissed against his chest hair and combed through it with his hand. He too having the same thoughts, how they'd cope without each other again. It wasn't even a factor.

Ste was determined but it was going to be difficult. "Bren, I am never gonna be able to beat this without you. I wanted to…I wanted to die without you."

"I think ye should know, John Paul told me, about ye trying to…" Brendan falters

"Oh Bren…I'm sorry. He shouldn't have told you that"

"We will beat it together, I won't leave again, and I know those words are hypocritical. I wont though. Look, Chez asked me to visit her in Ireland, yeah? She wants ye to come too. How about this, we leave here and go to stay at Chez's. There I can help ye beat this, no interruptions, just us. What do ye think? Will ye come to Ireland?"

"I don't know how I feel about Cheryl. It was her fault I lost you"

"Steven"

"No right"! It was, she ripped my life apart, OUR life. I can't just pretend I am okay with it"

"So ye want to stay here?"

"No…I think getting away is a good idea, I will need professional help though too, agreed?"

"Yes."

"And I want to visit Dublin again, and this time we do a love lock"

"Okay, sounds like a plan. Good days" Ste looked up at Brendan and they repeated the words and sealed it with a kiss that wasn't interrupted.

"Cool, I am excited now" Ste smiled. Brendan's hand wandered lower and felt against Ste's soft cock.

"Doesn't feel like it to me" Brendan smiled as Ste looked up at him.

"Put me in your mouth" Ste's begging with the thumb he traces against Brendan's lips but he's not ashamed one bit, so many years without each other, he just wants to relive everything, every touch, movement, and kiss. His selfish side completely on show. Brendan is feeling the same though, and doesn't need to be asked, he'll explore Ste's body now and again later, throughout the night. The hours wont ever be enough for them.

Brendan crawled lower down the bed and under the covers. Ste groaned as his lips took him inside his mouth soft and sucked gently, languid, Ste ached with it, body tingling. He wanted this feeling to last, Ste flopped into the pillow and opened his eyes, mouth relaxed open, his length throbbed as it thickened in Brendan's warm mouth.

"I dreamt of doing this to ye" Brendan's nose brushed through the thick hair on Ste's groin. "I missed touching ye"

"I missed you too, how you made me feel"

Brendan's tongue explored for a while, at his ball sack and up the length, tonguing out the pre come he spurted between the slit and circling the head with it. Brendan's mouth felt inviting, wet and hot, his body juddered and writhed, hips keening. Brendan's arms crept up the glaze of sweat over his stomach and thumbed into the navel as it caves in and out quickly each breath. The climax is heavy, sexy because Brendan keeps sucking his cock as he comes. Ste's hands tighten against the white sheets almost ripping them off the bed then relaxes limp when he's emptied.

Brendan licks his lips when he creeps back up the bed, moaning as he kisses Ste's salty taste into his own mouth. "Like that did ye?"

"Always" Ste lifted his leg across Brendan's body and played gently with his ball sack and length, nuzzling kisses under his chin he sighed "Are you like me, never want to stop touching? I feel like I can't get enough of you"

"Yeah" Brendan smiled stroking his fingers over Ste's back "Doesn't seem real, like a dream or something"

"Best dream ever this, having you back where you belong." his hands warmed Brendan's cock hard squeezing and pulling. Ste's kissing Brendan, amble tongue darting around his mouth swallowing his moans. Brendan turns them, laying over him and rocking into Ste's clenched palm, deepening the kisses. His head slides into Ste's neck when he comes, bites down to muzzle the noises he's making.

"Hmm, Steven" Brendan sighs content, strokes over Ste's lips kissing them again.

"I love ye baby"

The next morning Brendan wakes up alone. He palms at the side of the mattress half asleep and it concerns him Ste not being there. His body turns, eyes still drooping and trying to focus on the room for him.

"Steven?"

There's no answer and as he moves to sit up he stretches, rubs out the sleep from his eyes. It doesn't help much though so he's off the bed and padding over to the sink, there he scoops up a generous amount of cold water and splashes it on his face, now he's awake. After a moment or two, he figures Ste will be at his meeting and settles himself.

The water drips sporadic off his nose and beard. He looks into the mirror and palms at it, he's gotten hairy. Very hairy, he looks around and finds a razor, picks it up and studies it. It doesn't get to come within a hair on his face though. Ste arriving back in the room has realised what's going on and is there stopping him with an instant pout.

"Erm…whatyathinkyadoin?!"

"Ye what?!"

"What do ya think ya doing?" Ste's arms are folded now and Brendan fights the urge to take him in his arms.

"Having a shave?" Brendan watches Ste shake his head slowly

"Or not" The razor is put down again.

"You look sexy with that beard"

"I thought ye liked the tashe?"

"I do" Ste says a mater of factually and looks at himself in the mirror and frowns. "I look rough"

"Ye look shagged Steven" Brendan finally gets his hands on him, wrapping around his waist so they can look at each other. Ste is blushing and it sends shivers through Brendan's body. "And beautiful"

"How come you keep calling me that now?"

"I've always thought so. I think time is precious now more than ever, and let's face it, we've lost enough haven't we?"

"True, and I like this romantic side, just for me huh?"

"For your eyes only Steven" Brendan squeezes Ste with a tickle of his ribs making him laugh out loud. "Where ye been?"

"I went for a walk, and some air. I just stood outside and looked at the sky"

"Oh? Missed being up there did ye? I can take ye back again if ye like"

Ste shoved Brendan "Pack it in, I just realised I could breathe again so I took in the fresh air a while"

"Fair enough" Brendan got changed and looked up at Ste "I'm gonna go back to the flat, get some new clothes"

"Oh, okay"

Brendan stopped "What's wrong?"

"Jus…just don't like it when ya leave"

"I'll be back"

"I know" Ste slots into Brendan's outstretched arms and giggles as he's pulled in with a jolt. They kiss a while, sensually and it has the hair on the back of his neck standing up. Ste swoons in his arms, the man he loves more than anything, he finally gets to be with him and he's so happy he could burst.

"I wish ye could come with me, soon as ye are discharged I will take ye home"

"Home?"

"Yes home, I am nothing without ye, I ain't ever gonna be apart from ye the rest of my life"

"I love you Brendan"

"I love ye too"

Ste throws himself into Brendan's strong arms. "Don't be long okay"

"Okay" Brendan kisses Ste's forehead and leaves the room with a wink.

Ireland

Brendan watches Ste sleep on the plane, they're heading for Ireland now after a month or so in hospital Ste is strong enough to leave. Brendan has been overprotective of him and made sure he's being looked after, counselling already put in place, the quarters Cheryl promised waiting for them in the huge estate her and Nate have.

He's snoring a little and chest rising and falling in a perfect rhythm, Brendan just watches him breathe, eyes fond and full of love. His thumb strokes over his hair every now and then, it sometimes has Ste breathing deeply through his nose or angling comfier in his seat. Brendan thinks that deep down he wishes he were awake because as silly as it sounds, he misses him when he is asleep. Brendan wonders what his dreams are about, whether he is apart of them as much as Ste is apart of his.

"You two are sweet" An air steward stops and speaks softly to Brendan averting his gaze for a moment "You been together long?"

"Hard to explain, we kept getting separated, but I like to think we'll spend a lifetime together making up for lost time"

"Aw, that's lovely. He's a lucky guy"

"I'm the lucky one, blessed to have met him."

"Can I get you a drink? Something to eat?"

"Yeah, can I get a coffee? Maybe a soft drink for Steven as I don't know when he'll wake" The air steward nodded and brought Brendan the beverages. He looked through the window as they flew into Ireland.

Brendan woke Ste up with a kiss and a smile that would melt ice. Ste's heart jumped every time he saw him. "Hey" Ste bit against his lower lip flicking his eyes up at Brendan.

"Hey sleepy head. We've arrived, look" Brendan rounded his head to the window as Ste leaned across to gaze over the airport.

"Wow, sorry I fell asleep through the flight, but I do feel good for it" Ste stretched his arms high cracking the stiffness out of his body. Brendan's eyes managing to capture the naval and curve of Ste's stomach, he thumbed over it with a grateful hum. Ste chucked wriggling his top back down. They moved and exited the plane settling inside the airport and grabbing their bags. They passed a coffee shop on the way out and Brendan grabbed them both a drink before they made their way to Cheryl's home.

Ste is apprehensive exiting the taxi, its been a good two years since he was here last, and the place looks even bigger to look at. The estate grand, pompous even. Ste takes in a deep breathe and tries to put on a happy face for Brendan. He doesn't get chance to think of a way to deal with seeing Cheryl because her heels loudly informs them she's seen them arrive.

"OH MY GOD". Brendan rolls his eyes, her greetings never change, her high heels scrape the concrete with a loud clacking noise. Shrieking, her arms settle around both him and Ste. Her delight there for all to see.

"I'm so happy to see ye together again, I can't believe ye both look so different!"

"Probably because we're no longer apart, him languishing in prison and me half asleep on drugs" Ste snaps in a low and condescending tone that has Cheryl looking at him and unsteady on her feet. Her laugh is awkward and eyes pleading as she looks to her brother for a little support. She doesn't get it because his eyes are solely focused on Ste and his needs are Brendan's priority right now.

Ste struggles and feels uneasy, still blaming her for the way they were cruelly separated. It's hard not to feel contempt for her. He looks up at the home she has, Brendan never had such comfort all that time in prison did he? He had to spend that time alone inside because of her. Ste does remember how she did save Brendan though, how without her Brendan would've never come back from the devastation his father would've done. Ste approached hesitant, hugged her back then. At least he had Brendan back now.

Cheryl sees the hostility, and even though she didn't expect anything more, it hurts her. Brendan notices too, and pulls Steven closer to him, squeezes reassurance. Cheryl backs off a little leaving them too it, looking over them she realises what they lost and how much they need each other. Expecting Ste to forgive what she took from him pushing it, the feelings were too deep, raw. Nate appears by her side and she smiles sighing.

"Do ye want to see where you'll be staying?"

Ste clings to Brendan and nods. Their hands become entwined as they walk towards the mansion before them. It's like an apartment where they're shown to, lounge, bedrooms and a kitchen. Ste walks into it and takes a breath, black marble counter top, and wooden fittings. It's perfect. Ste hasn't cooked in such a long time; his fingers trail the length of the counter until he reaches the stove. He's already planning their first meal together.

Brendan leans against the doorway and smiles watching him, he's still thin, he always was, but even so he does need to gain a little weight as part of his recovery.

"Ye gonna make my tea then?"

"Maybe" Ste replies turning to smile "If I aint forgotten how to cook"

"Highly doubt that Steven. I'll make a crème brulee too"

"Better make sure there's a blowtorch in here then ey?" They laugh and Brendan pushes off the door frame, walks over to Ste who's waiting for him. Ste's breath leaves his body when he's lifted onto the counter, Brendan slots perfectly between his thighs, Ste holds him there with his legs, drapes his arms loose over his shoulders. They kiss and hold each other. Twisting their mouths and angling differently to gain more pleasure from it, their tongues work magic between them.

"Hmmm, yummy" Ste sighs as the kiss breaks, giddy in love.

"Let's put our things away" Brendan helps Ste down and leads the way to a master bedroom that's so big it could be mistaken for a flat.

"Oh my god, look at this place!" Ste's eyes widen "Even an en suite!"

"Well, it is a mansion Steven"

"And the grounds are massive!" Ste's voice lowers as he disappears off onto a balcony out of two French windows. Brendan eventually joins him and leans his hands on the side.

"Okay, wow"

"Told ya!"

"We'll have to explore wont we?"

"Hmm" Ste nods in agreement "How about a moonlit walk?"

"Moonlit?"

"Yeah, and you can hold my hand too" Ste's sly as he sneaks up next to Brendan with a sheepish grin plastered on his face. He bites nervously at his bottom lip, butterflies fluttering their wings at the insides of his tummy, they tickle.

"Sounds…romantic"

Ste nods again and fingers into Brendan's hands "No one will see…"

"I don't care who see's, not anymore"

Ste's eyes sparkle gazing into Brendan's, they hypnotise him sometimes, he can't stop drowning in them. Dares to believe that happy ever after is within reach now. His hand grips tighter making Brendan look down.

"Ye okay?"

"I'm better than okay, I have you back again"

Ste ran as hard as he could up the gravel path, heart pounding at his rib cage. Sweat poured from him and his clothes hung tight against his body, he wanted to rip them off, constricted and breathless. Behind him was Brendan's voice, it was distorted but he could still hear the fear in it, the same fear he had feeling this way again. It ached at his body, fed him lies, his mind working overtime with false thoughts. Why couldn't it just go away, and let him be happy.

They'd been sat down having tea, he'd cooked for them, it was perfect. Then the stupid cravings start up again, he can't stand it. Instead of ruining their meal he excuses himself, but Brendan is already up on his feet and asking what's wrong, and he can't lie to him anymore. Ste can't bare to see the pity though either, so instead of facing that he ran.

He collapsed of exhaustion eventually, couldn't run any further, his heart almost jumping out of his throat now. Brendan skidded on the gravel finally gaining on Ste he stopped to bring himself down to him. Brendan reached out to touch but Ste shrugged him away.

"Get off me"

"Steven, let me help ye"

"Get me a fix then"

"No…I can't lose ye again. It just takes time…"

"Don't tell me time heals! It's a fucking lie! Look at me, this is what time did to me, without you…there was no point Brendan. None."

"I can't keep apologising"

"I don't want you too. I just need you to understand the pain, it hurts, it hurts so bad"

Brendan sits next to Ste and doesn't move, doesn't touch him even though he wants too. "I can see it does, It is killing me to watch ye suffer"

Ste begins to shake and curls himself up tightly. Brendan's hand strokes over his hair. "Did ye get to see Lucas and Leah after I left?"

Ste looks up at Brendan "Yeah, but I sent them back to Amy cause I couldn't look after them anymore"

"Right then, there is your reason to fight. Fight for ye to get better. Then ye can get them back again"

"Us as a family again?"

"We will fight for that, just like we used too. I'll tell them bedtime stories, Leah liked the hairy man"

"Daddy Brendan" Ste laughed as he sobbed into his pulled up knees.

"Yeah" Brendan whispered, "Daddy Brendan, ye want that again don't ye?"

"More than anything Bren" Ste's eyes reddened and swelled with the tears.

"Come here…" Brendan's arms pulled Ste close and felt Ste hold him desperately sobbing.

"Maybe if I just have another fix…then I will feel strong enough too…" Ste's words are stopped by Brendan's hand against his lips; he shakes his head eyes determined. Ste closes his eyes and fights the pain, it makes him shake badly.

"You gotta rose?" Ste speaks after an eternity of silence between them, Brendan's arms are still strong holding around his smaller frame.

"Why? Ye want me to seduce ye with one again?" Brendan smiles against Ste's neck before he bites against it softly. "I'm sure I can find one"

Ste warms with his embarrassment and pulls Brendan closer to him, resting his head to the side where Brendan's face is. His wet matted eyelashes flick up and meets his eyes, they're looking at his lips so Ste parts them a little, and Brendan glances to his eyes instead. "Kiss me like you missed me" Ste asks with a hushed tone.

Brendan moves down and does so, kisses so soft Ste feels his head spin dizzy. There's something bout Brendan's kisses now, they cherish him like never before. Ste's fingers feel the width of his neck, against the wispy hair. Ste tickles the pads of his fingers there and Brendan jolts a little with it, deepens his kiss and Ste thinks he must have missed him for a lifetime. Brendan parts the kiss once their breaths shallow enough for air. Ste's smiling and the older man thumbs against it head shaking a little.

"Tá tú álainn sin, breá liom tú."

"What did you say?"

"What I always say to ye"

"That you're beautiful, and I love ye"

"Aw!" Ste gives Brendan a little shove that's reciprocated with a smile that has Ste swooning in his arms.

"Ye feeling better?"

"No, but I'm just focusing on this, us. And I'm thanking the world for bringing you back to me"

"How about we have that walk ye asked for huh? And then I'll..."

"Take me to bed?"

"Too right I will"

Ste grins and stands up helping Brendan up to his height, they kiss again and Ste feels Brendan's fingers intertwine with his own, it has him looking down and it might seem silly but it's the best feeling in the world right there. Brendan swings him around and walks ahead pulling him along playfully until Ste catches up and hugs closely to his arm and squeezing his hand to make sure it's not a dream. While they walk, Ste looks up at the moon high in the sky,stars shining like a sprinkling of silver hundreds and thousands across the sky.

Brendan's not looking though, too busy watching Ste and his face, it doesn't look troubled any more and if he is in any pain he's disguising it well. In this pale light he can see Ste's face clearly, his cheekbones are still slightly raised, still gaunt but he's getting better and stronger each day that passes. Brendan doesn't regret his decision to bring them here, it was what was needed, this time together had healing powers for them both.

"I know ya looking" Ste bites and scrapes his teeth along his bottom lip before glancing sideways.

"Yeah? Betcha don't know what I'm thinking though do ye?"

"Ummm...that I'm beautiful...an ya lerve me"

"Nope, I was thinking I could murder a steak, I'm starving" Brendan laughs when Ste exasperates shoving him away but pulling back on him twice as fast holding him close again.

"Ya always hungry though"

"For ye?"

"And steak"

"Don't forget the chips Steven"

"I'll cook one for ya, a mooin steak an chips"

"Mooin steak, sound like a plan that does. When we get back?"

"It's too late, tomorrow night" Ste sighs resting his head on Brendan's shoulder they walk through the vast grounds a while, there's a lot of trees around, and when they think there can be nothing else they come to a lake with a boathouse. Brendan and Ste look at each other and shrug in unison.

"Bloody show off's int' they?" Ste grumbles a little, pout a mile wide, it stops Brendan walking.

"What?"

"Well, she had all this an you...well it don't seem right Bren" Ste lets go of Brendan's hand and walks closer to the embankment as Brendan watches. Ste picks up a rock and tosses it as hard as he can into the lake with a grunt. The stone plops hard into the water sending a moonlight slivered ripple across the calm water. He repeats the motion again and again getting angrier each time. Brendan strides over to him and stops Ste before he can throw anymore. His eyes glisten with the glaze of tears, and Brendan thumbs over them.

"So much heart ache Bren, for both of us. And she gets all this"

"Steven, please." his hand is soft when it touches the curve of Ste's cheek "It was the worst time for both of us, but it's made us stronger. Look at us now, nothing, no one will ever part us again." Brendan cups his lips lightly over Ste's until he reciprocates his kiss. Brendan's other hand touches the side of his body, unhooking his top to feel the warm skin beneath it, stroking goosebumps through a surge of electric pulses. Ste hums with it, pushing to his tip toes and deepening their embrace. Brendan has this perfect way of changing the subject and right now Ste doesn't want to stop. Feels his hand creep up and round his body, brushing around his nipple, bringing their kiss to a halt, Brendan rests his forehead against Ste's and touches him, little strokes and movements that inverts his stomach.

Ste's breathless when he's lifted and moved up against a tree, the width of the trunk wide but he still manages to curl his arms around it, high above his head, Brendan holds him there, unzips him and pulls down his trousers. Ste shivers as the cool air touches his length and the wet pre come, its like a cold tingle, makes him harden more, the anticipation crawls through his veins.

Brendan frees himself and pulls his dick hard "I've no...I've no condoms Steven"

"I was always safe, I promise you. What about..." Ste falters he's no right to feel jealous, but he can't help it, he doesn't want to know but at the same time he needs too. "Did you use protection?"

"Yes, I'm sorry Steven...it was..."

"I don't care, well I do, but I've no right too. Just let it be us now"

Brendan kissed Ste desperately, and felt around his entrance with his sleeked wet fingers, stretched him out a little, Ste moaned and hit his hand away grabbing Brendan and placing him at his hole.

"I want to feel you"

"Ye know it will hurt, I can't hurt ye anymore"

"This is different" Ste whispered and tightened his legs around Brendan's back till he felt his cock push past the resistance. Ste's mouth held wide, it stretched him, and the pain didn't last long, it felt amazing and real. Brendan thrust high inside Ste, frantic desperate movements that had Ste's nails scoring red lines down his spine. His screams filled the large secluded area they were in, arms holding on to the bark of the tree again his body moved against it in jolts.

"Bren...fuck...harder"

Brendan growled and gripped a hold of Ste's hands linking them, his hip thrusts quickened and rode inside him hitting his prostate again and again climaxing inside Ste hard. Ste came with him, the feel of Brendan's warm come inside him too much to bare.

"God I love how you feel inside me" Ste rocked with Brendan through their come down licking their tongues wet.

"Ye are so fucking amazing Steven, I just want ye forever"

They make their way back to the house, more loved up than ever. The tree bearing their mark, 'Brendan loves Steven' Ste carved it into the bark as Brendan got himself presentable again. He stopped him before he sealed the gesture in a large heart shape. Even so, he liked the idea they'd always have that tree as a reminder.

"Ow" Ste winced a little as he walked rubbing his backside. "Reckon I got splinters in me arse now"

"Not my fault ye get me horny is it? Ye loved it anyway"

"Always do"

"Want me to check out you're arse?"

"Don't ya always do that? I've seen ya looking"

"For splinters! Jesus"

"Ha ha, yeah go on then. When we're in bed though"

"Course, then I can kiss it better" Ste's laugh booms through the evening darkness and lightens Brendan. They near the house and let themselves in.

After a thorough check there are no splinters, but a few marks that will attest to their nocturnal activity a while. Ste lays in bed as Brendan undresses himself and slots behind the younger man, pulls his body close so they can mold the perfect piece together. Brendan kissing the back of his neck and shoulder blade, he smiles with it and makes room for his lips to travel the curve of this neck too. This time when he shakes it's because of his touch and nothing else. Ste feels a little better, some days are worse than others. And with Brendan's hand fanned against his stomach, Ste smiles and allows his eyes to close for sleep.

One year later.

The last year had taken him by a storm, getting clean and healthy again Brendan and Ste had decided to stay in Dublin and start their life together. Using the money he had from the sale of Chez Chez and a little help from his sister they bought a club together and built it up from the ground up. Deep purples and greens adorned the walls, tables and chairs against the sides of the walls. Deep mahogany finish and benches wrapped in velvet seating.

Brendan and Ste stood and looked around the new club a day before it opened its doors and held each other. Brendan's arms firmly around Ste's waist, and head rested into the curve of his shoulder he breathed in his scent as he nussled close to him. Ste smiled and wrapped his hands against Brendan's turned and kissed at his temple.

"It's amazing Bren"

"Ye think we'll get people in here then?"

"Absolutely, it's perfect. Have you got a DJ sorted?"

"Hmm, interviewed the staff other day, think we have a good team here now" Brendan moved and rounded the bar grabbing a bottle of Champagne and rested it on the bar with two glasses. Ste turned and hopped up onto the bar stool and gripped the glass flute in his hand. The cork popped and Brendan had to move quickly to prevent the bubbling liquid spilling onto the bar, filling each glass they clinked them together.

"To a new start?"

"To our happy ever after" Ste beamed drinking the sweet champagne and laughing as the bubbles ticked at his nose and throat. Looking up at Brendan he hesitated with nerves as another challenge was yet to come, his own restaurant was also due to be open. He needn't have worried because what unfolded that first year rewarded any doubts or nerves many times over.

Ste glided around the kitchen like a pro, checking out each of the dishes laid out on the counter table making them presentable for the camera's in his restaurant. It was a little surreal, but somehow his amazing restaurant had become a hit in Dublin. Placing him firmly on the map as a must visit eatterie, Ste became a well known chef in his own right. It all started when a film crew needed a location to film a restaurant in it's documentary. They approached Ste and with Brendan's encouragement he went ahead with it, thinking the exposure couldn't hurt.

The viewers took to his beautiful looks and amazing cooking skills, the amount of customers tripled and Ste found himself busier than he'd ever been in his life. Eventually hiring sous chefs to help out the restaurant they made bigger after buying the property next door and knocking the building through. Brendan had stood back and leaned against the wall so proud of what his boy had achieved, he never doubted his ability once and Ste had gained strength from his belief in him, the same belief the younger man had once in Brendan to change into the man he now was. Together they could take on any battle the world threw at them and win.

Brendan waited for the camera's to stop and walked over to Ste whose face changed the moment they saw each other. Ste smirked as Brendan's hand held across his chest and walked him back into the kitchen against the while tiled wall and kissed him like it was the end of the world. Giggling could be heard behind them as everyone who dared to look beamed fondly at them through the serving counter.

"Are ye ready?" Brendan asked pursing his lips and holding a finger at Ste's chest, he trailed it down a little.

"No..."

"It's going to be okay, look at what you've achieved huh? Look at what we both have achieved together? Amy will see, we can provide them security and a loving home. More than that you're an amazing father and deserve to be with Leah and Lucas now. You're clean and happy too right?" Brendan winks.

"Happy doesn't begin to describe it Bren, you make my life have meaning again. And having me kids back will make it even better, cause I miss them so much you know?"

"I know ye do, and I will prove to Amy, prove I am a good man"

"I know you're a good man, you're amazing. And was a wonderful Dad to them." Ste held his hands at Brendan's shoulder gripping warmth over them.

"Ste?" Ste turned to look at Amy looking through at them both. Ste moved closer to Brendan and smiled at her.

"Amy, ya look good. How are you?"

"Okay" Amy looks at Brendan "I guess"

Brendan swallowed and moved away from Ste to allow them to get closer. Ste hugged Amy as she glared at Brendan enough to make him doubt himself again. He pointed towards the fridge. "Amy, can I get ye a drink?"

"I don't know, can you?" Amy snapped and Ste held her backwards

"Are you going to start already? We are doing this for the kids remember, and what's best for them"

"Sorry Ste. Brendan, please can I have a cuppa tea?" Amy turned to look at the vast white washed restaurant before her. Adorn with a red detailing it looked modern and swanky. There was no customers at the moment because of the camera crew had been filming so they had the pick of seats.

"We open in an hour, lunchtime. So we can sit together and talk"

"All of us?" Amy asked wide eyed as Brendan clinked down her tea and sat down next to Ste making a point of holding his hand. Amy noticed raising her eyebrows and opening her mouth to catch a fly if there was one around. Brendan hoped there was.

"So, um wow" Amy swallowed as she took a sip of her drink again surprised the tea tasted so good. Brendan was getting irritated by her condescending attacks. Ste squeezed his hand meeting each others gaze. Brendan softened again.

"Ste, the place looks amazing, seriously. We watched you on TV. The kids miss you"

"Not surprising since ye have kept them away so long" Brendan replied already bored of her presence.

"I suppose this is all your doing? Pay for everything did ya, controlling the situation as always"

"Actually, Chez helped out and Steven has paid her back with interest, not like it's any of your business"

"Will you both pack it in? Amy, this is MY restaurant okay? And yeah the place has done better than I'd hoped. And the fame bit is a little weird, I just use it as promotion really. And we are comfortable, have a great home. There's spare rooms for the kids to stay, you could come and see. They'd love it honest" Ste tries not to sound desperate, but he misses his children so much.

"I'm sure it is, I don't have a problem with them seeing their Dad."

"Great! When? Today, are they with you?"

"My Dad has them at a hotel, I wanted to come alone first, just in case" Amy glances at Brendan again and Ste sees it and angers

"He's a great Dad to them, Leah and Lucas love Brendan."

Brendan shifts uncomfortably "I've a club too, and it's another income Amy. I want to look after Steven and I want to provide for Leah and Lucas too,my own children, Paddy and Declan. I am a different man now, I'm better" His eyes flick up and down nervous that he's going to stop Ste from seeing his kids again, he wonders if walking away is better than this. It's unfair on Ste he's been through enough already. Brendan tries to get up but Ste stops him and shakes his head.

"You know I cannot do this without you. You leave and there's nothing" Ste's eyes glaze over as Amy watches between them. Mouth parted she finally sees the light between them, how it brightens when they're together and dims when they're not. Amy finally sees the love Brendan has for Ste and it's a revelation for her.

"I can't do this without ye either Steven, I'll never leave ye I promise" Brendan rests his forehead against Ste's breathing through his nose, Ste holds his hand against his cheek stroking down it carefully.

"Hey, look I won't stop them coming to see you anymore. In fact it'll help me sometimes have a break. Plus it'll be like a holiday for them wont it?" Amy flicks up her eyes as Ste turns to look at her in shock.

"Ya mean they can stay with us?"

"Well not forever but yeah, a week or so? Every now and then, whatever we can come up with"

Ste chokes with tears getting up and hugging Amy tightly sobbing into her shoulder. Amy and Brendan look at each other and Brendan sees her softening as she looks at him, long time coming but if he can bring down her tough exterior he must be doing something right for once. He nods silently thanking her.