Chapter Two: We Are Broken
"Every curse has a beginning. Every beginning has an end."
The only thing life promised you was death. There was no guarantee for happiness. There wasn't any guarantee that you'd actually have a family. Nope you were born into the world alone and the way I saw it you'd die alone. That was my pessimistic view on reality but after being ripped away from my family when I was six it wasn't in the cards for me to be optimistic anymore. I had been shuffled around to fifteen foster homes all before my thirteenth birthday. I knew that by the time child services finally picked me up for my supposed 'parents' that I was already damaged goods. I had walls up so high that no one could get in: most didn't bother. I didn't talk to anyone leaving most of my foster families fed up with my attitude and then it would be off to the next.
The file that was both criminal and background listed me as Margaret Ryan Dolan. But that was hardly what I chose to go by. Most people called me Maggie and that's just the way I liked it. It was easy to forget and made it a lot easier to leave when the time finally came. And it always did come. I had dark red hair and pale white skin, which typically worked against me people thought I was this sweet little girl who stepped into the wrong part of town. The only thing that added to that common misconception was my small stature. At five foot four it was pretty hard to be intimidating. But people quickly realized that I could defend and would defend myself. I had grown up fast and that in and of itself made me a pretty untrusting person.
When I was fourteen years old I finally managed to talk my way into a group home. I was tired of moving and tired of not even unpacking my shit anymore. Something's wrong if you can pack your entire life into one little duffel bag before disappearing into the night. The group home was located on the southern most tip of Boston: affectionately called Southie by most of the residents. I fit right in with the Irish working class inhabitants. Although, the area was still dangerous then again I never lived in what one would call a decent area. I was born in Detroit and moved around to Chicago, New York City, and finally Boston. The home was across the street from this auto shop, called Bones' Body Shop. Although, I knew from looking at it that they did a lot more then fix fucking cars. I knew an underground drug business when I saw it and if that Bones' person wasn't having his kids delivering drugs at all hours of the day then I don't know shit.
The first time I met Joe Darley was on the first day of high school. I didn't want to go but the bitch that ran the home said if I had two choices go to school and get to live there or don't go to school and be shipped off to the next family flavor of the week. So, that sunny September morning I donned a black tank top and black jeans before fixing my hair. I threw it up into a ponytail leaving two strands falling down and framing my face. I moved my lip ring back to the center and switched to another tongue stud. That was one of the perks of not having a family I could get all the tattoos and piercing I wanted and no one could tell me otherwise. The result of that was having eight piercings on each ear, a tongue ring, a belly button ring, and a lip ring.
I strutted down the street passing by Bones' Body shop and waited outside for the bus. An explosion of noise distracted me from my music as I quickly slid out one of my ear buds and clutched one of my knives. It was only a little pig sticker but I could do some damage if someone really wanted to throw down.
"Lord knows I've been patient!" A man's voice shouted. "Think you're too fucking good for this Nazi? Then get the fuck out! No damn doing of mine. Fuckin' halfwit!"
"Move it, Joey!" A new voice shouted.
I struggled not to look at the argument that was happening behind me. Figures the day that I actually wanted to get on the bus and leave was the day that the fucking bus wasn't even here yet. There was a lot more yelling before a door finally slammed shut. I risked a look behind me and almost wish I hadn't.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" One of them snarled.
"I'm just waiting for the bus," I shrugged. "Sorry for intruding on your wonderful family time."
As I turned back around to watch the street I didn't see the angry look the one who addressed me gave me. I also didn't seem him close the distance between us and push me against the fence. I growled as one of his hands held me by the throat.
"Billy!" The younger one yelped.
"You don't know who you're fucking with, bitch," Billy hissed at me.
Oh, but I did know. It didn't take me that long to realize who shared my living space. Weeks into moving here I recognized Billy carrying packages to and from his father's body shop. The younger one would tag along sometimes but I knew almost instantly that Billy was the one who watched out for his brother. We were alike him and I in that our parents hated us and blamed us for everything. I just might've been the luckier, getting out when I had the chance. Because it seemed to me that it was better to be alone that live with Bones Darley and have a little brother that you'd always have to worry about.
"Can you let me go?" I asked. "My bus is here."
As Billy Darley let me go I couldn't be sure but I thought I saw respect in his eyes. He was probably use to girls falling over themselves in their haste to make him happy or in their haste to run away. But then here I was just asking to be put down like being lifted some five inches was an everyday occurrence for me. I smirked at him as I picked up my backpack and walked onto the bus. I could still feel his hazel-green eyes on me even as the bus began to pull away.
"So, what's your story?" The kid who had been next to Billy asked sliding into the seat next to me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Most people don't talk like that to my brother," The kid shrugged. "The name's Joe Darley."
"Maggie Dolan," I replied.
"You from here?" Joe asked.
"Nah," I replied.
"Where you from then?" Joe asked.
"Detroit," I sighed.
"Long ways from home," Joe observed.
"I would be," I whispered locking eyes with him. "If I ever had one."
"You're the newbie over at the group home," Joe smirked. "The one who always sneaks out of the second floor window?"
"How do you know something like that?" I spat.
"I see you," Joe shrugged. "You know it's not that safe at night."
"I manage just fine," I growled.
It would figure that the only person who didn't react to my cold shoulder would be Joey Darley. Despite my best intentions to keep everyone at arms length he has somehow slipped under my blockades. Something that probably hadn't happened since the Mercer family but that was a long time ago, when I was still naïve.
I hadn't met anyone quite like Joe Darley. He could be the sweetest person alive or a complete asshole in the next second just a switch that could flip on a dime. He was my constant companion, my best friend. If someone had told me that I'd actually have a best friend I'd say that you were fucking nuts. But lo and behold the girl who had vowed to herself never to get attached to anyone had a best friend.
Joe Darley had short, spiky brown hair and light green eyes. He was easily six foot one towering over my five foot four stature. A fact that he loved to rub in. Joe also loved the fact that he was a year older than me at seventeen years old to my sixteen. But we both had a mutual love of tattoos having a star on one side of his neck and Mercenaries of the Underworld curling around the other side of his neck.
The Mercenaries of the Underworld was Billy Darley's gang. They ran most of the neighborhood around the group home and Bones' Body shop. Billy Darley was a gang lord in every sense of the world. He was terrifying to most and intimidating to everyone else. Billy and I seemed to have a mutual respect for one another. I respected the fact that he could kill me if he really wanted to and he respected the fact that I wasn't scared of him. Or at least wasn't as scared of him as I should be.
By the time Joe and I were seniors in high school everything was starting to look up. The Mercenaries were starting to pick up business and Joe and I were about to get out of the hellhole that was PS 116. I had come a long way since freshman year. Before I had gotten into fights almost every week and now people were way to afraid to piss me off because of who I chose to hang out with. That didn't stop some of the idiots but I could hold my own and Joey knew that too.
It was only the second week of school and I was happy that I hadn't gotten detention yet. Joey on the other hand wasn't so lucky. Normally I would've waited for him to get out but I just wasn't in the mood to hang around today. I was walking back to the group home when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whirled around shoving the hand away and narrowed my eyes. It was some punk that I had actually had the misfortune of meeting in gym class. His name was Leon Joseph and he was someone who thought he was worth something just cause of the drugs he sold.
"Leave me the fuck alone," I warned. It was pretty obvious to me that this kid didn't know who I was otherwise he would've realized the people he was getting his drugs from were the people that I spent the majority of my free time with.
"Tough words for someone so alone," Leon smirked.
He was getting closer and closer to me and finally I ended up punching him across the face. I didn't like people in my personal space it reminded me way too much about one of my foster brothers. He thought I would be of better use as a sex toy rather than a stray.
"Fucking bitch!" Leon howled tackling me down to the ground.
I ran at him with another jab uppercut combination that again didn't work. Leon came at me with a right hook that literally skimmed the top of my head as I ducked. I jumped up and sunk my elbow into his solar plexus and another elbow at his head. Both of which connected. Breathing heavily, and obviously pissed off that I had gotten first blow, Leon came at me again throwing punch after punch. Those punches had me scrambling away. Out of nowhere Leon backhanded me across the jaw that had me crashing to the ground. I groaned in surprise at the flash of pain that was both unwelcome and very unpleasant worked its way across my body.
"You done?" Leon laughed.
"Not even close." I hissed pushing myself to my knees, "In fact, I'm just getting started."
"Really?" Leon asked, "Bring it on."
"Gladly." I snarled.
I quickly aimed a kick at his head, which knocked him slightly off balance so I punched left. Leon ducked away at the last second punching me in the side. I managed to stay on my feet and leapt up and kicked sideways. The force of the blow knocking him down and almost taking me but I managed to stay on my feet. Before I could even think about my next move Leon sprang up and punched me in the stomach. All the air came out of my lungs as I doubled over. While I was trying to catch my breath, Leon pushed me down to the ground aiming another kick at my stomach; I rolled away at the last second and kicked sideways knocking him back to the ground. We both got up and glared at each other. Leon came back at me and punched me in the face. My head jerked backward and I felt the blood start pouring. I pulled myself off the ground wincing as everything part of my body seemed to scream in pain. I faked Leon out snapping his head back with another uppercut.
"What the fuck is going on?" A new deeper voice growled. "Leon!"
"Billy?" Leon blanched.
"Do you know who the fuck is this?" Billy gestured at me.
"Someone who needed to be put in their place," Leon hissed.
"Listen to me, you little fucker," I seethed. "I'll show you your fucking place at the bottom of a fucking trash heap!"
"Bitch," Leon moved to hit me again but Billy reached over and basically threw him backwards.
"Get outta here," Billy yelled. "Don't you got shit to do?"
I smirked in amusement at the terrified look Leon shot Billy before grabbing his backpack and racing off in the opposite direction of where he had been walking before.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Maggie?" Billy roared.
"Walking home," I smirked. Although the smirk was lost on Billy as I winced in the next second. That stupid punk had gotten lucky with that fucking backhand.
"Where's Joe?" Billy asked.
"Detention," I responded. I reached up to tuck some hair that had come loose from my ponytail behind my ear simultaneously wiping away some blood from my nose and lip.
"Come on, Maggie," Billy ordered.
I let out a sigh as I followed behind Billy resigning myself to the fact that there would be no way that Billy would let me walk anywhere alone. I growled in annoyance spitting some blood out of my busted lip. Every so often Billy would turn around and then shake his head at me in a I-can't-believe-she-did-this sort of way. Billy Darley might be seen as uncaring and cold to the majority of Southie but he wasn't always like that. He did care about what happened to his friends as well as his little brother. Even some three years later I still didn't know where I fit in with all of this. Billy obviously cared enough to stop the fight from escalating but I still was a little wary of him. I reasoned that he cared because he had a very short fuse so you could typically see at least the concern in his eyes even as he was ripping you a new one for fucking up.
"You okay?" Billy snapped.
"Peachy," I retorted.
I hated myself but I flinched when Billy grabbed my bicep tugging me through the apartment and into the kitchen. I knew he had seen it too because those hazel green eyes seemed to darken for a moment as he pulled me through the front door. I think it pissed him off that I still flinched when people touched me.
"Sit," He ordered.
I bristled slightly at his tone not really liking being ordered around but that was just how Billy did things. He only liked things being done his way that's how he ran his life, his gang, and his territory. I flinched once more when Billy emerged from the bathroom slamming down a first aid kit on the kitchen table. It pissed me off how noise still startled me and it also pissed me off that my entire body was starting to ache. That was what I got for not fighting in a couple months.
"Why didn't you wait for Joe?" Billy asked as he began to dap peroxide on my open lip.
"I was tired," I hissed as the peroxide began to bubble burning past the tiny tears in my lip from where Leon's knuckle had split it open.
"That's bullshit," Billy observed cleaning out the other knicks and scraps. "If you were tired you wouldn't have been fighting."
"That prick started it," I muttered locking eyes with him.
"How many times have I told you to call me or Joey if someone's giving you problems?" Billy grumbled.
"Lost count," I shrugged. "I'm guessing a lot?"
"That kid was ten times your size," Billy growled cleaning out a particularly nasty split on my eyebrow.
"Yeah, pretty much," I smirked.
"You gotta think before you pull shit like this, Maggie," Billy warned.
"I can handle it," I retorted.
"Yeah, cause you really look like you can handle it," Billy snickered.
"Fuck you," I grumbled.
I squeaked when Billy's hand suddenly seized my chin lifting it up to meet his furious gaze. Oh, fuck, what had I done? I narrowed my eyes in an attempt to look like I didn't care that he had his hands on me and wasn't letting go. I knew that he knew how much I didn't like people touching me. I had just started getting use to friendly nudges and hugs but I was still a long way from healing from old wounds. Again one of the products of foster care. The abuse made it hard for people who actually cared to touch me because I would normally react in a negative way.
"Why do you still do that?" Billy whispered.
"Instinct," I stated.
"No one here's gonna hurt you," Billy grumbled. "I know you know that."
"And you know that I hate it when you grab me," I sighed. "But you do it anyway."
"Billy?" Joe's voice came from the front of the apartment. "Have you heard from Maggie? She ain't answerin' her phone again."
"In here," Billy growled.
My eyes never left Billy's even as I heard Joe gasp and walk over to the both of us.
"The fuck happened to you?" Joe demanded frowning slightly.
"Nothin'." I shrugged. "What?" I growled when both Darley brothers glared down at me. "Come on, you both know this isn't that bad. Nothin' broken this time."
"I'm going to the Four Roses," Billy announced after a pause. "I'll see you both later."
Before Joe and I could say anything Billy was shrugging into his leather jacket before grabbing his car keys and striding out of the front door.
"So what happened?" Joe asked.
"I'll tell you if you come back to the home with me," I bargained.
"Sure," Joe shrugged.
Joe grabbed his red leather jacket on our way out of the apartment. He made sure the door was locked and together we made our way down the street towards the home. As we walked I told him everything from the moment school ended to the second Billy showed up scaring the bloody hell out of Leon. Joe nodded and offered some advice as we continued up the home's walk way.
I sighed as I opened the door. Mrs. Cabot had made it clear to everyone who came here that we weren't supposed to stay here past our eighteenth birthday. And with my eighteenth birthday looming I knew that the life I had come to love in Southie was about to end. There was no way I could stay here without the home. Granted, I was out of it more then I was in it but I always had the home to come back to. I didn't know what I would do when I didn't have that anymore.
"What's wrong, Maggie?" Joe asked.
"Nothin'," I muttered. "I'm just changing into better clothes for the Four Roses."
"That's not what I meant," Joe spat. "What the fuck are those?"
I followed his angry gaze and saw that he was looking under my bed where all my clothes were all packed up and ready to go. I knew that couldn't have looked good but I was just getting ready to make a get out of here without worrying about my clothes and shit.
"They want me outta here, Joey," I whispered. "And I don't know where else to go."
"What do you mean they want you outta here?" Joe hissed.
"Homes are for people up until their eighteenth birthday," I explained. "I turn eighteen in two weeks. Then I'm shit outta luck."
"Where are you gonna go?" Joe whispered.
"I don't know," I spat.
I slipped into a black halter-top and a black pleated mini skirt before lacing up my knee-high converses. I knew that it wasn't Joey's fault, which was why I was trying my damnedest not to get angry with him. I just wished that he hadn't seen the bags. But I knew Joe Darley was many things and stupid wasn't one of them.
"It's gonna work out, Maggie," Joe sighed. "I'll see what I can do. Okay?"
"Yeah," I sighed.
I felt his eyes on me as I put on make-up trying to hide the recent bruises made by the fight tonight. Thank god for make-up. I was able to cover most of it with concealer or in the case with my lip, a darker lipstick then what I normally wore. When I was finally ready to go Joe looked up and smiled.
"You ever gonna tell him?" Joe teased.
"Tell who what?" I questioned.
"Tell my brother that you like him," Joe shook his head. "Don't even think about lying, Mags," Joe cautioned when I opened my mouth to protest. "I know you way to fucking well."
Instead of answering him I smacked him with the back of my hand as I walked past him and out of the door. Due to the inconsistency in heights he quickly caught up to me with those fucking long legs of his and threw an arm around my shoulder.
"You know I think he likes ya too," Joe stated. "You're the only other girl other than Baggy's sister that he tolerates. Hell, you might as well be in the Mercenaries."
"I think you'll get into it before I will, Joey," I replied.
"Still doesn't mean he doesn't like you," Joe shrugged. "I know my brother. You're the only one who he makes sure isn't on the streets by yourself. You know how pissed he got the last time I told him you weren't answerin your phone?"
"I seem to remember that," I winced. "He bitched me out for an hour saying that you guys didn't know whether I was safe or not. And then he got angrier when I told him I turned my phone off cause I wanted to sleep."
"He don't do that for everyone, Mags," Joe shrugged. "Now come on. We're gonna get wasted tonight."
"You say that every night," I sighed following him into the Four Roses.