August- September 1992

She was back again at the group home. It was inevitable, she knew all along that she was coming back, that the house she had been placed in would be temporary, that the pictures on the walls would never again be a picture of her, that she would just be one girl in a crowd, no one would really remember her since she moved around so often. She had already been placed in four homes, the first one she managed to stay with in tree month, they were nice people, and had two kids of their own who were her own age, a boy and a girl- but they didn't like her, apparently they had something against people smarter than them.

After three months she had been moved to an other family, a woman who had two other foster children there, they hated her too, shut her out, and the woman had enough of her, she wanted a kid that could socialize a bit better, not just sit in her room and read, that was the reason after all she had decided to take in foster kids- not at all for the money or the fact that she was all alone, not at all.

The next two homes she just stayed three weeks and then one week, then she was back here, seven months after she'd left in February. Inevitable, as said.

She had a new room, and new room-mates, most of the kids were the same, and they greeted her with a 'I knew you'd be back' ten minutes after she stepped into the place once again. She had waited for this day, dreaded the day the car would stop in front of the building, and let her off at the place she'd spent her first month in foster care. That month she had learned a lot of things, one of them being that the background is a good place to be in when you don't want to get into trouble, as soon as something makes you stand out, everyone's got an opinion.

Dropping her bag in front of the only empty bed in the room, she looked around, and let out a small laugh. Nothing really changes. But it was a strange feeling that started to grow in the pit of her stomach, a feeling she hadn't felt in a while. She felt at home here, or it was just the first familiar place she'd been in the past months, the first time she'd returned, and it felt nice actually; having a place to return to.

She left the room to walk to the living room, the living room was a large room with four couches along the walls, three arm chairs, a small tv in one corner, a radio and three tables with chairs standing all around, two shelves with cards, books and old CD's in them, the room was painted white, and the small windows made it look like a prison. But it was the one place in the house that made it resemble a home.

A guy named Adam was sitting in one of the couches half asleep, looking over at two girls trying to play some cards when he noticed her walk into the room.

"Tempe's back!" he suddenly yelled in a cheery tone, and everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and looked at her standing in the doorway. Adam then laughed, an amused laugh that almost sounded cruel "Welcome back Tempe" she hated when he called her Tempe, she sounded like a kid, which she was not, absolutely not, not anymore. A year ago she was a kid, unaware of what the world would do to her only months later, now she knew, nothing could be trusted.

"Great!" someone exclaimed sarcastically, and everyone went back to what they were doing, and even though she was left out, sitting down on one of the couches; she felt at home, and that was happiness, nothing could take that away from her.

-

It went a week, two weeks, and she started to find her place there, they were more accepting the second time around, she wasn't entirely knew this time, now they knew who she was from the start. She started to follow them out when they went to smoke, sitting on the steps looking at the smoke coming out of their mouths like a train, then the cigarettes brought back to their mouths, over and over again, a ritual.

She sat on the same stone step, it didn't matter if it was raining or if the sun was shining, every day they sat outside on the steps, smoke pouring out of their mouths while watching the kids playing on the other side of the street. And soon she was offered a cigarette herself, and she sat on the step with them, and somehow she knew that this was the best it was going to be, sitting there.

Her birthday passed without anyone noticing, and it was the best that way, not to be reminded that the year before she had woken up to her parents and brother singing 'happy birthday' and bringing breakfast in bed. No it was better to look herself in the mirror and say; 'one year, not so bad', even though she didn't really know what she meant with those words.

But with her birthday over, she knew that they would place her in a home again, it was logical, this home was just temporary, why she didn't know, she'd rather stay in the group home lead by a crazy woman rather then being moved from place to place and not knowing what was going to meet her. The group home was so much better.

The day after her birthday she was alone in her room, after dinner she had suddenly felt really tired, and decided to go back to her room and sleep while the others went out to whatever party they were going to that weekend, but apparently someone hadn't left she realized as her door flew open, and then closed, soon someone was lying next to her.

"Hey Tempe..." she heard some guy say as he put a hand on her waist, she turned around to see who it was and looked straight into a pair of green eyes.

"Mike... what are you doing here?" she wondered groggily.

"Just visiting my favourite girl" he whispered, and leaned forwards to kiss her, she pulled back slightly.

"Not now Mike, I'm tired" she said pushing him away.

"So? You could just lay there, and I'll do all the job" she frowned and started to sit up, but everything started to spin, and she grabbed onto his arm to steady herself as she laid back down again, this time she didn't see him lean forwards, suddenly his mouth was on hers and she let out a protest.

"Stop it Mike" she managed to get out when his lips left hers, and he looked at her with almost black eyes. He didn't budge, and he started to work with the buttons on her blouse, she grabbed his hands and pushed them away, struggling to get loose from his grip.

"You're only making it worse, honey"

Luckily she blacked out just a minute later, or the rest is something her mind wouldn't allow her to remember

-

When she woke up she had her pyjamas on, and she was lying under her cover. Her head was oddly calm, and an eerie feeling passed through her body. She blinked and looked around the room, the other three girls were sleeping in their beds, and outside the moon was shining. Her body ached, and for a few moments she wondered about the cause, then she remembered, and didn't remember. It was as if her mind had stopped working at some point, or she had blacked out.

She sat up and looked around the room. Of course the one place she felt at home in would fail her, how could she have thought anything else?