Chapter Two
"Wow," Leonard said as they walked past the rioters. "I never thought England could be so much fun. This is soooo much better than the conference."
"Really?" Sheldon said. "You mean you're actually enjoying the devastation and the threat to our lives?"
Leonard sighed. He reached into his back pocket and pulled a folded piece of paper out. He unfolded it and showed it to Sheldon. The word SARCASM was written on it.
"Damn, I thought I was getting the hang of sarcasm," he said as Leonard folded the paper and put it back in his pocket. "I still have a long way to go before I master it."
"Which is why I still have the sarcasm sign with me," Leonard said.
They paused when they watched two men carrying a large TV out of an electronics store.
"And naturally, when the world's ending, you don't grab any necessities like water or food," Sheldon said. "You grab a TV so you can watch the end from the comfort of your living room."
"Hello…"
Howard pointed ahead of them and they saw the woman calmly walking down the street.
"Linda Hamilton's got nothing on this woman," Howard said. "Just what I love, a strong, confident woman who's not afraid of anything."
"You've tried to seduce a strong confident woman before," Sheldon said. "You ended up in your underwear on the street at three o'clock in the morning with a black eye and broken nose."
"Yes, but on the upside, the woman was a fascinating minx," Howard replied.
They watched while the woman entered an electronics store about two hundred feet away from them. Leonard turned to face the others.
"Okay, back to work," he said to them. "We need to get to a safe place and think up a strategy."
"And it better be sooner rather than later," Raj said, pointing up at the sky.
They looked up and gasped when they saw a large spaceship slowly flying over the city.
"Leonard, turn off your delusion, damn it!" Howard said as everyone around them started screaming and running away.
"Okay, for once follow the herd and haul ass out of here!" Leonard screamed as they turned and ran.
While they ran, the spaceship started firing on the city. As they were running, one of the laser beams struck a shop beside them and a hunk of cement flew out and struck Leonard in the back of his head. The last thing he heard before losing consciousness was his friend's horrified yells.
When he woke up, he was in an alleyway with his friends standing over him. He winced as he put his hand to his head.
"What happened? Where are we? How long was I out?" Leonard said.
"Well," Sheldon said. "Going backwards and taking the third question first. You've been out about three hours, we're in an alley and we've been invaded by murderous trash cans."
"What?" Leonard said.
He tried to sit up quickly and held his head when it began to throb and his version blurred slightly.
"Murderous trash cans, did I hear that right?" Leonard asked.
"You did indeed hear it right. We've been invaded by trash can robots," Sheldon said.
"Talking trash can robots," Raj added.
"It's funny. I always imagined the Borg would be our overlords or the Terminator robots. But no, it's talking trash cans, go figure," Sheldon said.
"It's quiet," Leonard said as his friends helped him up.
"Yes, that's because the trash can robots have started killing and kidnapping people," Raj said.
Leonard slowly walked to the end of the alley while everyone else followed him. Just before he reached the entrance he heard a robotic voice.
"THE HUMANS WILL COME OUT OF THEIR HOUSES. YOU WILL SHOW NO RESISTANCE OR YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED."
"Those are the trash can robots," Howard said.
Leonard peeked around the corner of the alley and saw a bunch of robots ordering people out of their houses and lining them up. He stared at them while the others peeked around the corner with him.
"These things are the invaders?" Leonard said softly.
"Yes, I know. Like I said, expected the Borg to invade someday. At least the Borg have hands. Look at these things. They have a plunger on the front of their bodies. Who's their creator, Mario?"
Leonard winced when a man tried to resist and the robot shot him dead with his laser. The man fell to the pavement, dead, while the other prisoners screamed.
"Plunger or not, it has a laser so we need to find a place to hide from them," Leonard said, turning and walking back into the alley. "Great, now not only is the planet out of orbit but we also have to deal with those…things."
He winced again when he heard one of them screaming EXTERMINATE before they heard the laser and a woman screaming.
"Suddenly, London sucks balls," Howard said as they walked.
"Yeah, I suddenly have the urge to go back home," Raj said.
"Unless, the trash can robots are in the US too," Sheldon said.
"Oh God, Penny, I hope to God…"
He trailed off while he dug in his pocket for his mobile. He tried to dial Penny's number a few times and let out a frustrated growl when he realized he couldn't get a signal.
"Damn it, they must be blocking the signal," Leonard said, putting the mobile back in his pocket. "I hope she's alright."
Sheldon noticed the worry in his friend's eyes and gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder. He couldn't figure out what Leonard saw in Penny but he knew he loved her deeply so he kept his mouth shut. When they reached the end of the alley, Howard stopped them and put a finger to his lips.
"Hottie British Amazon Woman is over there," he said in a loud whisper as he pointed off to his right.
All of them peeked around the corner and saw the woman was two houses down. She looked around before she hurried across the street. Once she was across, she turned right and kept on walking, looking around her while she did.
"I vote we follow her," Howard said.
"Howard, this is no time to think with your dick," Leonard said.
"I'm not. I'm thinking with my brain and I'm thinking the woman has a big gun that could protect us," Howard said. "Granted, she's a major fox and I wouldn't mind banging her brains out, but my personal safety is more important at this moment in time so I say we catch up with her and band together."
"Sounds good to me," Raj said. "Especially since we have no weapons of our own."
They looked at each other and hurried across the road. They raced towards her and stopped short when the woman spun around and aimed her gun at them.
"Whoa," Leonard said, holding up his hands. "We mean you no harm."
The woman looked them over and groaned when she saw Howard.
"Oh bloody hell, not him again."
Howard gave his friends a sheepish grin when they eyed him. Leonard came closer to the woman, holding his hand up so she wouldn't shoot.
"Look, my name is Leonard and this is Sheldon, Raj and that's Howard. I apologize for my friend's behavior. He has an overactive libido. We're from America, as I'm sure you've noticed and we were here for a physicist conference when all this happened. Look, we're unarmed and we thought it might be safer if we band together against the trash can robots."
"Daleks. They're called Daleks," the woman said. "And my name is Rose, nice to meet all of ya. You can come with me but that one back there better behave himself. I'm here to find a friend who can help the Earth, not get chatted up by a randy Jew."
"Howard, behave," Leonard said.
"I'll be good as gold, promise," Howard said, crossing his heart.
"Right, follow me then," Rose said.
They walked with her while she looked at her surroundings.
"Who is your friend?" Leonard said. "Maybe we can help you find him."
"His name's the Doctor," Rose said.
"Doctor who?" Sheldon said.
"He's just called the Doctor," Rose said.
"But that doesn't make any sense. Doctor is a title, not a name," Sheldon said. "I have a doctorate in theoretical physics and I am a doctor, but that's not my name."
"Yeah, well, this Doctor isn't an ordinary bloke," Rose said. "He's an alien."
"Wait, we're going to find an alien?" Howard said. "Aren't we up to our armpits in aliens now?"
"Yes. But the Doctor is a good alien. He hates the Daleks and he has experience fighting them. If anyone can help us, he can. Thing is, he usually travels with companions and he's with a human called Donna at the moment. I'm hoping I can find her if I can't find him."
"I thought you needed the Doctor," Leonard said.
"I do but I need her as well. She's just as important to saving the world as he is but if anyone would know where he is, it's her. Now just stay quiet and stay with me so we can avoid the Daleks."
Everyone fell silent and followed Rose as they walked the pavement. Once they got to an intersection, Rose stopped them and they listened while an angry father told the Daleks they weren't going to surrender and for them to go back in the sky. The yelling was coming from one street over and everyone ducked into the shadows while they listened. Then they heard a Dalek giving the order for maximum extermination and they gasped when the house in front of them was filled with a fireball that blew out all the windows.
"See, they're heartless killers so we need to avoid them if at all possible," Rose said to them. "Just stay by me."
"No arguments from me, Amazon Woman," Howard said.
Rose ignored him. They took a few more steps and then Rose urged them back into the shadows when they saw an old man and a woman walking up the street in front of them. The man had a paintball gun in his hand. Rose studied them for a moment and then motioned to the others.
"Follow me, I have a feeling they're Donna's family. Just keep quiet and let me do the talking."
The others nodded and all of them emerged from the shadows and followed Rose while she headed straight for the old man.