THE DIARY OF A REAL EVIL PRICK: ENTRY 2
TUESDAY
Kaiba's pool party. Just snuck in into the party and this feels great. We had a little trouble getting in though. Marik got his pants caught on the fence and he refused to take his pants off to let me get his pants off. Only when the pit bull from across the street sauntered over and tried to bite his ass. Now to find Yami…he said that he was going to be here. What a moron. He is hiding behind the cooler talking to Ryou. Marik and I run over to Yami and rip his swim trunks off. We then toss him into Kaiba's pool. Mokuba passes out and Kaiba's head explodes into a thousand pieces. I go up to Kaiba and tell him that he has never looked better. He dumps bean dip on my head. I send him to the shadow realm and watch as Yami tries to get out of the pool without Tea looking at his crotch. The poor guy…I forgot about that bitch. She says that she'll help him out of the pool and Yami pretends to have drowned in the pool.
I dive into the water and float next to the Pharaoh. I whisper that he could just hide his ding-dong behind the puzzle…after all it is small enough to hide it. Yami hits me with a inflatable pool toy that resembles a giant penis. I expected this from Pegasus not Kaiba. Then again, he was eyeing Joey all party long and he was wearing a Speedo. Just then it hits me that all of Kaiba's party favors are shaped like giant dicks! I point this out to Yami and this time he really does almost drown in the pool. Too bad…maybe next time. My watch beeps and I remember that I had to go and pick up the surprise for the party. I return Kaiba from the shadow realm as I could heard the shadow monster's screaming that his ego was crushing them.
I tell Ryou, Malik and Marik that I need to take off for a minute. Ryou says that he wants to go along with me. I am too excited to argue, so I take him along with me. He looks at me surprised when we pull up to the Photo Hut Photo Booth. I tell him to wait and that I would be back in a second. I glance at the photo that I had them enlarge and frame. This would be perfect. I had to duct tape it to the roof of the car, that is a small unconvince, but the look on Kaiba's face would be so worth it. Marik helped me sneak it into the party, just as Kaiba was announcing that they were out of cocktail franks. Joey interrupts and says, "Not if you count Yami's!" I may not like that infected testicle, but that was fuckin' funny.
Marik gets Kaiba's attention by flashing the party and saying that if not everybody looked, the ones would did not look would get a Preparation H bomb shoved up their asses. I pulled the sheet off of the photo. Yami threw up into the pool and Ryou put on his glasses, as if to confirm that he saw what he thought he saw . Kaiba fell into the pool and nearly drown. Tea pulled him out of the pool with the help of Joey. I don't think that Kiba likes the picture of him in a suit that had the crotch cut out revealing a massive boner while spanking Bandit Keith who was wearing nothing but high heels. Kaiba thanks Tea for pulling him out of him out of the pool She says what are friends for. I get sick all over my favorite shoes.