Chapter Two. Numb
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Joe sat in the front of his mother's small station wagon, waiting nervously at the bus stop. He watched his mother's tired eyes zoom back and forth in front of the road, waiting for the Peter Pan bus to come. Her fingers still on the steering wheel. He was sweating in his nice shirt; the afternoon sun was directly beaming on him. He squirmed and wished he were spending this precious spare time with David instead of waiting at the empty bus stop for his lone cousin.
"Mom, isn't he late?" he asked her. She shook her head slightly, her eyes never leaving the road. Joe sighed. It had been a quiet last five or six days.
Last Friday when they had received the nightmarish phone call, and Ellen had come home. She called Kyle and talked a social worked and worked it out that now Ellen would have full custody of Kyle, since he was minor and that it was left in his parent's will.
So, now he was coming with Miss Orrington, the social worker. His mother hung up the phone, and went to bed. She didn't even get up to make dinner. Joe was left to fend for himself so he and Wishbone gulped down the leftover meatloaf in the fridge.
And it was like that for a few days; Ellen lay in her bed, in her darkened room, staring at the clock, saying nothing. It scared Joe but he knew it was his mom's way of grieving, she had done the last time, when Joe's dad had passed away. He didn't remember very much but he knew that Miss Gilmore and Nana Maria had taken care of him because his mother was in bed.
But the day of Kyle coming, she rose, showered and dressed, and once again, approached life. She made breakfast and Joe ate it hungrily, albeit that the pancakes were half-raw. His mother had been distracted and shaky, but as she sat slowly down at the table, she told Joe, "Kyle's grief must be a lot deeper than mine. We need to be very understanding and gentle with him."
So, Ellen had set aside her own hurt, in order to extend herself and comfort's others in their pain. It was an amazingly selfless thing to do. Joe could scarcely fathom the amount of inner strength it took.
His mother clearing her throat broke Joe out of his unhappy thoughts, "There he is." She said quietly, getting out the car. Joe got out too, and saw Kyle standing with some tall kind looking woman. Ellen walked up to them, and embraced Kyle tightly. Joe stayed by the car, he felt uncomfortable.
He studied his cousin thoughtfully. Kyle was tall, and dark haired. Green empty eyes, fashionable clothes, and a nonchalant manner, he definitely looked normal and…to not put too fine a point on it, cool. Joe used to play with his cousin when they were little but then Kyle hit fourteen and considered toy's too babyish and ten year old Joe was crushed. He remembered his cousin being quieter than him, but creative and funny. He always had good ideas for games and for Christmas when Kyle was ten and Joe was six, Kyle got a fancy pair of roller blades and he had generously let Joe wobble around in them.
That seemed like forever ago, and Joe realized that now, he didn't even what kind of person Kyle was. Sure, they got together for holidays and reunions but Joe mostly hung out with nine-year-old Derek, and Kyle sat at the table with adults, talking about stuff Joe didn't get.
Ellen talked to the woman briefly, Joe couldn't hear what they were saying, and Kyle shifted his heavy duffel bags from one arm to the other. Then, the woman and Ellen were done, the woman turned and said something to Kyle, he just nodded back at her. The woman left, and Ellen led Kyle to the car. Kyle walked past Joe without saying a word, and helped his aunt load his abundant luggage into the trunk. Then, Ellen said, "Ok, Joe, why don't you hop in the back?"
Joe grimaced, he hated sitting in the back, there wasn't enough room, his legs got cramped, and it was always too hot back there. But now since Kyle was here, he'd have to get used to it.
"Sure." He mumbled, getting in.
Kyle got in the front and the drive home was just as silent as the one there. Ellen said nothing, lost in her own world. And Kyle didn't seem chatty, but Joe had the urge to break the thick silence. He cleared his throat.
"So, um, how was your trip, Kyle?" he nearly squeaked in nervousness.
Kyle turned around in his seat and made eye contact with Joe, he gave a thin smile. "Not bad, buddy, how've you been?
"Alright, just started the sixth grade." Joe said. Kyle nodded, "Ahh, yeah, I remember sixth grade, tough year. But you're a tough kinda guy, huh?" and grinned at Joe in a very adultish but friendly manner. Joe felt emboldened, Kyle basically just complimented him!
"I think I'm gonna like having him around!" Joe thought.