A partly insane little girl's rants, raves and comments that will have to pass for an author's note: This is my -- what? third? fourth? -- nth revision of part 2... ::sigh:: I have no idea why I have to keep changing, correcting, and modifying my RK fics when I'm perfectly satisfied with the others. *stops short before she goes into a rant*
Forgive the disjointed sentences and paragraphs, the typos, and the grammar. English is *not* my first language, and I was puzzling over the structure of Japanese verbs while I wrote the latter parts (...and there are chunks here several months older than the others! orooo...).
More introspection (? is that the right word for it?) here, though no first-person bits. I *can't* write in first person; Winter Sun, from Tomoe's pov, was a fluke. Thanks to everyone who answered my questions about silly little stuff I *will* be using in future parts.
Comments, criticisms, suggestions, questions, and donations ^_~ welcome at sumire@rurouni.com. There's also a glossary thingy at the end, if you need it for the Japanese terms, though entries in the glossary for the previous part won't be included. Standard disclaimers apply.
Written January 2000 and May 2000
* * for emphasis, ( ) for thoughts, [ ] for mindspeech, -- -- for... uh... how do I say this? audible thoughts? ^^;
Preceding part(s):
Part 1: What Brings the Wind
Starlight, Hellfire
Part 2: Shadowed Secrets
by Mia Sereno
Kage [Shadow]:
......What is a shadow?.......
...Reflection of darkness...
.......Following a form........
"Itadakimasu!"
Kaoru smiled, a little ruefully, as Yahiko and Sanosuke dove into the food before them with a gusto that seemed more fitting to a pair of beggars who had not eaten for several weeks than to the reasonably well-fed people they were. As she ate the food Kenshin had prepared, she reflected, even more ruefully, that she was a hopeless failure in the kitchen. But then she pushed those thoughts out of her mind and focused her attention on dinner.
After a while -- perhaps because he was eating too much too quickly, or had tried to swallow a whole onigiri in one gulp -- Sanosuke began to choke. Kaoru looked at his rapidly reddening face with more than just a little satisfaction. "Serves you right for being such a pig, Sano," commented she.
Megumi, who was staying there that night, made a face and pounded on Sano's back until the spasm had passed. "For once the tanuki's right, roosterhead," she said as Sano, gasping, gulped down some water. "You *are* a pig." Looking slyly at Kaoru then at Kenshin, she added, "It's a good thing *you* aren't, ne Ken-san?" Somehow the doctor had contrived to sidle up to Kenshin as she said those words and was now laying a flirtatious hand on the rurouni's arm.
A hand pulled the indignant Kaoru back as a pair of lavender eyes looked warningly at Megumi. "Maa, maa," Mikomi said, "could you two at least let the rest of us eat dinner in peace?" She looked thoughtfully at Sanosuke. "But Sano," she continued, an impish twinkle in her eyes, "you *do* know that you *are* a pig?"
Almost two months had passed since they had first met Mikomi. When Kaoru had met the girl and learned about her 'transient state' she had invited Mikomi to stay in the dojo. Mikomi being a sensible girl who was not at all romantically interested in Kenshin, she and Kaoru had become friends within a few days. The others had also accepted her, as a friend and -- something Kenshin, Megumi, and she herself were all thankful for, though for different reasons -- unquestioningly.
This was not to say that all was peace and harmony when Mikomi settled into their lives. Sanosuke and Yahiko had their views of her as the 'demure, quiet lady' shattered when they found that Mikomi was the possessor of a wit as biting as Megumi's sarcasm and a willingness to use it that matched Kaoru's enthusiasm. Though she didn't tease Sano as Megumi was wont to, she could irritate him almost equally with her disconcerting look that seemed to say she was secretly laughing at him. Yahiko found in her another 'older sister', one who -- unfortunately for him -- unfailingly took Kaoru's side in every argument.
One could say that Mikomi had settled into their lives as well as anyone might be expected to. Indeed, the only thing strange about Mikomi was how she acted toward Kenshin.
When Kaoru had invited Mikomi to stay in the dojo, Kenshin thought he caught dread flicker for a split-second in the girl's lavender eyes before she had accepted. With the insight of one whose eyes saw far more than he was thought to, he knew that what inspired that fear had something to do with him.
But why?
The weeks that followed never gave him the reason. Mikomi was kind to him, certainly, but she was never as close to him as she was to Kaoru or Megumi, or even Yahiko and Sanosuke. Somehow she always maintained a painful distance that was hidden beneath exquisitely subtle layers of politeness and pleasant deference.
Occasionally he would see her, when she thought she was alone, stroking a hollow of her throat and biting her lips to hold back choking sobs. Other times when he came quietly in the room her eyes would widen and the lavender pale in a sudden flash of fear that was gone as soon as it came. Mikomi would never say anything to him, but...
"Mou! Yahiko!"
"You give that back to Mikomi-chan, right now!"
A deep-throated chuckle. "Yeah Yahiko, why steal Mikomi's food when you can take Kenshin's?" As if to prove his point, Sano reached to snag some of Kenshin's food but was brought up short when he was sharply rapped across the knuckles. "Oi!"
"Shame on you, roosterhead," Megumi said reprovingly. "If you have to have more, why not take Kaoru's, and not the poor dear's. I've noticed that tanuki-chan has been getting heavier, anyway."
Mikomi hid a smile at Kaoru's and Kenshin's expressions, gathered the bowls, cups, and chopsticks, and stood up. "Would you like to help in washing the dishes, Megumi-san?" she asked as she headed to the kitchen.
Megumi hurriedly rose and followed her.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow, as Megumi and Mikomi were occupied in the kitchen, Sanosuke and Yahiko wandered off and left Kenshin and Kaoru alone in the central room.
There were a few moments of silence. Kaoru quietly watched Kenshin as his violet gaze settled onto the night-darkened garden and was lost in the shadows. Then, maybe because she couldn't think of anything to say, she too looked out into the night.
The clouds around the moon drew back. Moonlight now silvered the garden, lighting the leaves and blades of grass with pale fire and calling the shadows of night into life. In the light of the moon the night seemed somehow frozen, imbued with all the pure coldness of virgin snow, etched in a moment of emotionless perfection.
Then, because they couldn't think of anything else to say to each other, they talked of commonplace things while each wished with all his or her heart that the other would... say... what he or she really felt... and talk of something else that had more to do with "us" and "you" than with "it", or even "them".
"Will you be going to market tomorrow?" asked Kaoru.
"Aa... we're running low on vegetables and tofu," Kenshin answered. He smiled the rurouni's smile. "Would you like to come along, Kaoru-dono?"
Kaoru grimaced. "I'd just be tempted to buy that kimono I saw when Mikomi-chan and I were shopping for her clothes. Go on without me."
Kenshin smiled again, nodded slightly, and gazed at the starless, moonlit sky. "Beautiful night," he murmured.
"Yes..." Kaoru looked up at the moon and sighed, then turned again to Kenshin. Whatever she was about to say was forgotten when a glowing firefly alighted on her hand. "Look!" She turned wide blue eyes to the tiny pinpoints of light that came alive and danced like golden stars throughout the garden, shattering the motionlessness of the night and replacing it with sparkling movement.
Perhaps because of the memories the fireflies stirred, it took Kenshin a long while to reply. When he did open his mouth to speak Kaoru was already in the garden, laughing as she played, like a child, with the fireflies. The way she could so effortlessly combine carefree beauty and artless innocence tugged at his heart and took the sting from the memory of farewell, and he started to laugh as well, very softly.
A shadow passed over the moon.
Glancing at Kenshin out of the corner of her eyes, Kaoru saw a smile curve his lips and the light of laughter appear in his eyes. The next moment the laugh died on his lips as the shadow blotted out the moon's light.
In that peculiar, sudden darkness Kenshin was changed... soulless, somehow, and Kaoru had the sudden feeling that all that really *was* Kenshin had been eclipsed by an overpowering evil. Even his eyes -- which only a moment before were violet with emotion shining in their depths -- darkened and the pupils drowned out by the now cold-blooded irises.
Unconsciously, Kaoru took a step backward, her eyes never leaving his form. She could feel an evil in him, a darkness that was radiating from him and withering her spirit. A bewildered voice in her mind asked what had happened to the real Kenshin, the one she knew.
"Kenshin!" she gasped.
The shadow swirled around the luminous orb that was the moon, then wavered and was gone.
As the darkness lifted and was replaced by the cold radiance of the moon, humanity and emotion rushed back, as air rushes to fill a vacuum, into Kenshin's face. "Kaoru-dono?" His face turned pale, and a stricken expression came into his eyes. "What... happened?"
How could she tell him when knowing of that would only cause him more pain and guilt? "Nothing, Kenshin... nothing."
By the time she went to bed Kaoru had convinced herself that it was only a cloud shadowing the moon.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How are you so far?"
Mikomi looked up from the tub of water she was bending over. "Well, Megumi-san, the cups are almost done," she responded with what might have been a twinkle in her lavender eyes.
Wondering whether the girl really meant that answer or was just teasing her, Megumi laughed slightly and said, "no, no, I was wondering how you have adjusted. I've been meaning to ask, but I haven't been able to come to the dojo as much as I would... like."
"I *am* glad Kaoru-chan let me stay here," Mikomi answered. "And Kaoru-chan... Yahiko, Sano... Himura-san... have been very kind. I don't think I could have found a better... family." She rinsed the knife she was washing and shook off the water.
The doctor nodded. She had more or less expected that reply, even the 'Himura-san' none of them could explain (after all, hadn't they introduced Kenshin as just Kenshin? And wasn't she close enough to them to drop all the formalities?). "Despite everything?"
"Despite everything." The girl smiled. It was a strange smile, tinged with sorrow and age-old longing that somehow contrasted with her youthful face.
It was then that Megumi realized that she had never, ever heard Mikomi laugh.
Not that it was unnatural with Mikomi. Other people might have seemed tragic in this absence of laughter, but Mikomi didn't. And yet Mikomi so sparkled with life that she could even be as vibrant as Kaoru. The doctor mulled it over even as her hands washed a tiny porcelain cup.
Megumi was never to know what prompted her next question, but the answer would trouble her for a long time. "Mikomi-san... if I may ask, where would you have gone if Kaoru hadn't asked you to stay at the dojo?"
There was a long silence before Mikomi replied. "I... I would have gone on running again, I suppose," she said so softly Megumi had to strain to catch the words as they dropped from the girl's lips. "And probably have been killed as soon as I was out of the city." She smiled bitterly.
At that moment a shadow covered the moon.
The moonlight streaming in the shutters vanished and was replaced by unreal darkness. Mikomi stopped, surprised, and looked out at the darkened sky incredulously. "What..." she gasped to herself. "It can't be!"
Maybe because she was looking at the water in the tub as the shadow blotted out the light, Megumi was the first to notice what happened to the water in the darkness.
The water had turned to blood.
Megumi raised frightened eyes to look at Mikomi. The color had completely drained out of the girl's face, and her lavender eyes were impossibly wide. It seemed to Megumi's suddenly fevered mind that it was Mikomi who was bleeding, and there was a stab wound at the hollow of her throat. Abstractedly, the ever-present doctor in Megumi fought against her fear and reminded herself that a wound like that was near-impossible to survive.
"Mikomi-san?"
The girl didn't seem to hear. Her lips moved as if in silent prayer, and finally a choked sob came out of her throat. "You have found me," she whispered to the shadow, the whisper not even reaching the other woman's ears. Mikomi finally looked down at her hands and felt her throat. The blood had trickled down, staining the plain blue kimono she wore. "No..."
The bowl Megumi had been drying slipped from her suddenly nerveless fingers and crashed onto the floor, breaking into a thousand porcelain shards.
Abruptly, the shadow disappeared, leaving the two women in the room bending over a tub of water beside porcelain fragments. The wound on Mikomi's throat and the bloodstains had disappeared as if they had never been, though her face was still very pale. "Daijoubu, Megumi-san?" she asked as the doctor shook herself free of her thoughts and tried to reassure herself that reality was as it should be.
"I'm all right." Megumi's eyes flicked to Mikomi's face, then to the shattered bowl. As she started gathering the pieces, she asked, "What was that?"
Color returned to Mikomi's face, and the tears disappeared. "Just a cloud passing over the moon."
And yet... and yet, Megumi knew it was much, much more than that... it was another revelation, another omen, of this strange darkness that seemed to be growing, encroaching upon her awareness day by day like the hunter tracking his prey.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mikomi awoke before daybreak. The sky was still veiled in mist, the air still cold and asleep, and the girl drew her yukata closer about her and tried to warm herself as she rose from her futon and rolled it up. She drew open one of the sliding doors to her room, stepped out into the corridor, and padded on cat's feet to the small garden.
She shivered as the cold mist drew its invisible arms around her, but did not walk away and instead sat down on a wooden step. Arms around herself and head bowed down, she let the cold seep slowly into her and remembered.
The mist danced its coldness around her, shrouding her in white and making her seem more ethereal, supernatural... a pale ghost with dark hair bowed on a step with the weight of eternity and man's sorrows pressing down on her. The thought came to her then that in this mist of blindness and visions it was so easy to let go of life as she had long wanted to, to become one with the veil of white coldness and join the spirits of the dead.
The dead...
A tear trickled slowly down her pale cheek.
The dead, and remembering...
Remembering? But then she had never really forgotten. How could she, when all that she was, all that she would be... present and future, all hinged upon the past? And her duty, and her power.
Her power.
A bitter smile curved her lips as she thought of the power men would have killed to possess but she would have given everything to lose, the power that was both a blessing and a curse, the curse of her family and blessing of men. Oh, men would die -- men *had* died, suffered, and lived all over again only to experience reality -- all in the name of blind grasping for this power.
But they would die, not knowing -- not being capable of knowing -- the full extent of the power that was not of men and worked its mysterious ways shrouded in the mist of false dawn. They woud die in their search for this power, for the heritage and the legacy that filled her life and thrummed through her veins like quicksilver, deadly beautiful.
The weight of it all pressed heavier on her every day, bringing back the ancient pain and fear. She did not *want* this. She did not want to accept her duty, even her legacy. They, those who had gone before, had accepted the power; she had not yet. Not *yet*.
It was futile to resist its call, to deny it dominion over her destiny.
Then again, Mikomi had resisted the call of the power this long. If any of her blood still lived they would chide her and ask her why she refused to take up the duty that had been passed through her family throughout the years. Why?
She was afraid! Afraid of what it would bring to bear in her life. Fear ruled her even now. Fear of *them* and of the power inside her.
The power is not just a thing, her mother had said to her once. It is alive, and it has a will of its own. And it will not be weilded carelessly or without honor. Beware, for you may find that *it* is weilding *you*.
Her family had suffered and died because none of them, not even her mother, were strong enough to bear the power while resisting its curse. Or to resist its overpowering will that would rule their lives from the moment of their first touching it to their last breath.
Yet... what were they to do? They had no choice. None of them had...
...not even she.
Not even those of the Kamiya dojo. Not even the one now known as Himura. Tears filled her eyes as almost overpowering regret swept like a wave through her being, bringing with it new frustration and worried questions. He who had once been hitokiri and now was a man torn between the past and the future, did he see the warning she brought? Did he remember the shadow that had entered him once, more than a decade ago, and was poised to possess him completely yet again?
Did he even know of the darkness?
The question brought her up short and made her gasp. Perhaps he didn't. She knew that the others... Kaoru-chan, Yahiko, Sanosuke... did not even see the darkness, the evil, that even now hovered above them. Then again, they had only been drawn into this because of Himura-san...
...because of that man who, long ago, had been a legend and lived as a contradiction of strength in a time of turmoil. Because of that man who the darkness had wanted to claim as its instrument. Because of him who was haunted by the shadow.
Now the darkness had found *him*... and her.
What would happen now?
Mikomi had a sudden vision of the darkness' creatures overrunning the dojo bent on slaughter, and pushed it away. She had to face the consequences of coming here to warn *him*. But the others? They didn't have anything to do with the darkness. Would the darkness take them, too?
Oh, if only... She shouldn't have come here!... but how could she have warned Battousai... and Megumi-san... otherwise?
As she raised her arms to the mist, dazzling pinpoints of cold enfolding her, she let herself be lost in the past.
Remembering...
And the memories took form in the swirling, infinitely cold and cruel white mist.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, Kenshin rose before the sun, the eerie cold of the air before dawn enfolding him in silence. The steel-gray light of false dawn etched his face and hair in lead as he stepped quietly out of his small room and through the hallways of the dojo.
He paused before Kaoru's room and nudged the door softly open. Kaoru lay on her futon in the sound slumber of the innocent and idealistic. Her face was somewhat sobered the gravity of one who has seen life and its reality, but still glowed with the promise and hope of one who keeps the cherished ideals and dreams close by, never letting the disappointments of the world extinguish the flame.
Her soul was delicate and pure as butterfly wings that soar up to the heights of heaven... how could he taint her with the darkness of his? Touch her innocence with his hands that knew blood and death as nightmares of the past?...
[Battousai... I have found you, and now that I have... the shadow shall claim all that is you and yours.]
Kenshin turned abruptly at the sibilant whisper in his mind. It was sourceless, as that wind had been, and it was, once again, a warning. That the danger, the evil, was inching closer with every passing moment.
And it knew him. Knew every aspect of him, every thought that had passed through his brain. Kenshin saw in that brief flash of thought through which he was connected to the evil by its whispering, that it also understood him. The evil understood his thoughts and his whole being far, far better than he understood himself, and it knew the darkness and light that struggled continuously at the center of his being.
He passed a hand over his eyes, trying to clear his mind of those thoughts. He had never felt the darkness of the shadowed secrets more than he did now... had never before, in the months past, felt the instinctive chill that ran through him whenever he saw himself mirrored in Mikomi's lavender eyes.
(Mikomi...)
She would know. How could she not? She heralded the wind, with all the secrets and shadows following in its wake.
His footsteps sounded very loud on the wooden floor as he almost ran through the corridors and to Mikomi's room, hurried on by the... urgency, the need to know. He slid open the door of the room Kaoru had given her.
Nothing.
A soft cry, filled with infinite despair, drew him to the garden. He found the girl there, dark hair falling in shadowed night over her pale, exquisite face twisted in pain, a ghost in the unearthly mist. She held a sword in her lap, shrouded by white and stinging cold.
He knew that sword. He had weilded it for several thousand times all which he wished to forget, reaving with it the life and blood of men, the sustenance of their families, igniting with it rage and sorrow and powerless, helpless despair.
For a timeless, terrible moment Kenshin stood there, as powerless to move as when he first saw her lavender eyes, as the sword lifted itself from her lap. Drawn by an unseen force, the sword dipped its point once suspended as it was in mid-air... as if in salute, then, smoothly, without stopping, stabbed itself deep into Mikomi... into the vulnerable part of her throat where throbbed the vein of life's blood.
Kenshin felt motion rush back into him, weakening him so abruptly he cried out in the pain of discovery and the helplessness of the beings caught in Destiny's weave. The sword shimmered and disappeared into the illusions of memory... and Mikomi looked up, lavender eyes startled, then rushed to his side even as his strength failed him and he fell to the ground. The white cotton of her yukata whispered against her as she bent at his side, and Kenshin's eyes saw nothing, no scar, no wound, from the illusion of Battousai's sword.
"Himura-san!" she gasped. "What are you doing here... up so early, I mean?"
Silence. There was no need for him to answer. By the expression of their eyes meeting each other, so alike and yet so far apart, he understood that she knew what he had seen.
There would be no changing that.
And now all that was left were the shadows and dangers, darker and more menacing than before, for they had been strengthened by age-old guilt that had trickled its unforgiving way through Kenshin's heart and now burst free from its shackles of oblivion, flooding vengefully even the core where the secrets of darkness and light lay.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megumi's brown eyes darted worriedly between Kenshin and Mikomi as she picked her way through the "lunch" Kaoru had attempted to cook. Their expressions were strained, as if they were keeping the strength of their emotions tightly within control, restraining their thoughts that held truths too painful to admit.
Between them vibrated a silence laden with forced acknowledgement that screamed its *wrongness* at Megumi's unusually keen perception. The lavender of Mikomi's eyes was drowning in the dark pupils of her despair... and, strangely, fear... but Kenshin's violet was darker, shadowed by something that went far deeper than guilt and reached into the depths of his nightmare past.
Still, Mikomi... the silence she drew about herself was of secrecy, tantalizingly hovering on the edges of her understanding but remaining out of reach. (Then she *must* have been trying to escape what this 'darkness' is... but then again...)
She glanced at Kaoru, trying to gauge her reaction. Kaoru's blue eyes were worried, apprehensive, and the young woman clearly doubted the mask of "everyday" that Kenshin persistently pulled over the trouble in his heart. Kaoru saw no longer the rurouni, but the Kenshin closest to the truth he struggled to deny, and she felt, as sharply as if she herself were going through what he was, that the truth hurt him.
(If only she *knew*,) Megumi thought. (If only I could tell her! but I can't -- won't -- because this is something she has to find out about Mikomi, about Kenshin, for herself.) Her hand lifted slightly, to pass itself over her weary eyes, but then stopped. (Must not show any sign of weariness -- or weakness.)
Yet how could she not, when all this was happening in so short a time and threatened her everyday life as she knew it? Her life, Kenshin's life, the others' lives, unknowing as they were. And -- she sighed inwardly, remembering the sudden flash of darkness' storms that had touched her awareness briefly -- not only their way of living, but perhaps even whether they lived. Or died.
She glanced at Sanosuke to see if *he* saw, instinctively smothering a flame of guilt -- or something else that asked whether she was not merely finding an excuse to look at his face once more, memorizing every detail of it as she was wont to. No, no... Such nonsense! and her mind laughed nervously at herself, half-afraid and half-ashamed at those thoughts. In the brown depths of his eyes -- those eyes... (Stop it, Megumi!) -- she saw confusion and trouble swirling like long-placid water now disturbed by unfamiliar, strange, circumstances.
Sano looked at her, asking silently, What's going on?
Nothing, she replied without words, instead with a slight inclination of her head that hid her surprise at understanding him so well. No... something, but you do not need to know.
Why...? he gestured it this time with a slight frown and a question echoing all the stronger in his brown eyes. Is it them, kitsune-onna? with a barely-concealed glance at Kenshin quietly brooding, Kaoru watching him, and Mikomi lost in her own world of despair.
She shrugged, then darted a warning glance at him and looked at Yahiko. Don't let him be drawn into this, baka.
A glare, a sniff of irritation. Of course not.
Megumi smirked at him, one eyebrow raised, sarcastic gestures that quickly banished the bewilderment in her heart with the amusement of teasing Sano. He was almost too easy to annoy, and she was enjoying this anyway. Really now, roosterhead, do you think you can *not* blab everything to them with all your famous tact? Hmmmm?
Sanosuke grimaced in reply, then looked away -- to her it seemed as if he almost tore his eyes away from her (No, Megumi. You're only fooling yourself... and besides, why care about what that baka thinks? or does?) -- only to catch Yahiko trying to steal his remaining food. "Oi, Yahiko-chan, you must be really hungry... to try to eat more of Jou-chan's cooking."
Yahiko struggled against Sanosuke's arm that was holding him at bay. "Don't call me -chan!" He grumbled, then added, "I wouldn't be doing this if I weren't so hungry. Kaoru's outdone her usual bad cooking."
Kaoru, still deep in thought, protested with only "Yahiko-chan!" and nothing of her usual physical reinforcement. Megumi shook her head slightly, a small smile playing on her lips, then gave in and decided to shake Kaoru out of her worried line of thought. "Are you sure you're feeling well, Yahiko-chan? Only delirium would make anyone want more of *this*. Here, let me feel your forehead."
An enraged Yahiko pried her fingers from his forehead while trying to bite Sano's hair, with Kaoru -- finally roused from her reverie -- drawing her bokken and managing to hit both Sanosuke and Yahiko with it. All in all, things were shaping up to be a splendid fight, but one that was hardly appropriate given the circumstances. Then again, that had never stopped them... and they had never received the kind of warning Megumi had.
Megumi ducked to avoid a flying chopstick, then with an "I think I'd better go now, arigatou," she made her getaway out a door.
She was hurrying down the street when she heard the patter of slippered feet behind her and Mikomi's voice. "Megumi-san!"
(Well, finally... I hope *she'll* be able to clear this up. What the warning tells about is not something to be dismissed.)
"Mikomi-san."
"Megumi-san..." Mikomi ran up to her. Now that the girl was closer, Megumi could see the dark circles underneath Mikomi's lavender eyes, which contrasted with her pale, pale skin. Mikomi caught Megumi's arm, and the doctor was surprised by just how strong the grip of her fingers -- cold, slender vices around her wrist -- were. "Matte, Megumi-san... don't leave yet."
(I won't, not if the words come from *you*.) "What is it, Mikomi-san?" she asked, trying to keep her voice as pleasant and steady -- and noncommital -- as possible.
The hand around Megumi's wrist tightened. [You don't understand!] Megumi's eyes widened as they took in the blazing intensity of the girl's pale face and the doctor heard the thought as clearly as if Mikomi had spoken it. "Please, Megumi-san. You're the one person among them who is able to understand what is really happening."
Megumi shook herself free of Mikomi's hand and the gaze of her lavender eyes. "I?" she protested. "I don't even know what this is about!" Her voice was escalating into little-known bafflement and panic, causing Mikomi to pull her inside a doorway of an abandoned house. "Can't you tell that I'm even more confused than they are?"
The girl bowed her head. "Yes," she whispered. [And much, much more... If only I could tell you! If only you would understand!]
The tone of Mikomi's voice made Megumi want to pound her hand against the wooden wall in frustration. "How?" Her question carried with it the anger of one helplessly in the dark. "Who are you, Mikomi? Why are you doing this?" Then, because the question had been echoing in the vaults of her mind for so long, "What is this all about? Why are you playing games with my -- and Ken-san's -- mind?"
"I'm not."
"Why are you doing this, then?"
Mikomi looked at her carefully. "What 'this' are you talking about, Megumi-san?"
"You know very well what I'm talking about," Megumi snapped, her patience coming to an end. "The darkness... the warning... everything. Ever since you've come things have... changed."
Mikomi's reply sent chills racing up and down Megumi's spine. "Would you rather have had no warning of what was to come, Megumi-san? The darkness... what you saw in my thoughts... is coming, and nothing I can do will change that."
"I don't understand."
The younger girl dropped her gaze, but when she spoke again her voice was no longer that of the innocent girl who had settled as a friend in their lives only a few weeks ago but that of a woman -- a survivor -- forced to mature and be strong by events over which she had no control. "No. You don't." She paused. "How much *do* you know, Megumi-san?"
"Nothing."
A faint smile curved Mikomi's lips. "Come now, Megumi-san," she murmured gently, persuasively, "if I am as sinister as you think I am, I *must* know that you looked into my thoughts the day we first met."
"Looked into your thoughts? That's ridiculous." (Ridiculous that she knows. Who *is* this girl?)
"Megumi-san," Mikomi said firmly, dropping the pretense of gentle vulnerability, "if you want the truth you must be prepared to give it."
Megumi sighed. It was not like her to accept the supernatural; even less like her to believe, or give consideration to, the stray whispers and warnings that had haunted her thoughts since she had seen the girl. But try as she might, she could *not* put aside the sense of almost tangible dread that overshadowed her. "Only... darkness," she answered finally. "Something that seemed to be made of pure, inhuman evil. And overwhelming fear." She looked closely at the other girl. "And I thought... it was strange, that someone like you would fear so much."
"Strange? Not really, if you think about it," the girl replied, her voice once more gentle and hovering on the edge of being a whisper. "Everyone is afraid of something. Even you, Megumi-san... *you* are afraid of your own feelings more than anything else." Mikomi's lavender eyes deepened into thoughtful evening, and she opened her mouth to speak again.
Megumi interrupted more out of a desire not to hear the rest of Mikomi's words than anything else. "I'd be very grateful if *you* could explain yourself as well, Mikomi-san," she said dryly, her veil of dark hair hiding her (hopefully still neutral) face.
Mikomi smiled one of her cryptic little smiles. "That is only fair, isn't it?" She smiled again, but this time the smile was tinged with sorrow. "What is to explain? You -- and Kenshin-san -- have received the warning and know of my fear. That is enough."
"No, Mikomi-san, it isn't."
"But..."
A sigh escaped Megumi's lips. "Mikomi," she began, intentionally dropping the honorific, "I have to admit that I still don't understand. And I *still* don't know who you really are."
"Is that really important, Megumi-san? Can't you just think of me as a messenger?"
Megumi shook her head and tried to keep her voice from betraying the frustration she felt. "Of course I can't, because I know you're much more than that. Please, Mikomi-san, stop playing games and at least tell me the truth!"
"Kami-sama, Megumi-san," the girl hissed, her voice suddenly like steel and her eyes alive with lavender fire, "you think this is just a game? You think I risked my life by coming within reach of a hitokiri to play *games*?"
The doctor was stunned by the younger woman's reaction and tried to answer. (Hitokiri?! She knows?) "It's just..." She stopped, struggled with it, and resisted the urge to throw up her hands in the air in exasperation. "I have never believed in anything I don't see. And I don't *want* to believe or accept this 'darkness'... this warning, those 'signs'... or..." and the last word trembled on her lips as a drop of dew on a flower petal, "you."
"Then *trust* your feelings, Megumi-san! You *know* you can see things they -- the others -- can't. Why don't you trust the warning? Why don't you look into your thoughts to see what the darkness really is?" Mikomi released Megumi's arm and looked up, as if searching for reassurance. "I know you are never going to trust me until you know everything," she said finally. "Maybe it's just as well. But maybe this time you need to learn how to trust what other people say... and take their word for what it is." Something cold and wet trickled down Megumi's cheek, and she saw that it was starting to rain.
Mikomi looked up as well and blinked her eyelashes as the raindrops settled on her face and hair. "If you still don't believe, ask Himura-san about the shadow and his past. *He* will tell you... and you will believe him, if not me."
(Ken-san's past? How could she know... more... about him than it seems we do?)
Without another word, Mikomi inclined her head briefly, then turned and walked back to the dojo.
She did not look back.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaoru sat down on the porch beside Kenshin and looked anxiously at his troubled violet eyes. There was emotion in them she thought she would never see again... the guilt of the hitokiri overshadowed by something that was even darker and touched a part of him that had never been illuminated by the light of discovery or truth. She worried about that. She worried that, for the past few days, the Kenshin she knew had gradually been slipping away from her and was being drawn into a whirlpool of shadows and mystery. She worried... she worried that she would lose him.
In the end, she spoke in fear that Kenshin *had* slipped away and was impossibly lost in the web of memories that he had surrounded himself with. "Kenshin?"
Kenshin started and gave a short, choking sort of gasp. "Kaoru-dono," he answered, then looked out into the rain and shook his head slightly, as if to clear it.
"What's wrong?"
"It's nothing..." Kenshin's eyes took on a strange expression as he looked out at the rain. "Nothing you should trouble yourself about, Kaoru-dono. I was just... thinking."
She sensed a note of intense pain in his voice and felt answering tears prickling her eyes. Blinking them away, she murmured, "if you want to talk about it, I'm here."
He gazed at her for an eternal moment before answering. "Kaoru..." he began, and caught himself, "-dono... arigatou." A hand took hers and pressed it gratefully.
Strangely, Kaoru felt a part of her somehow... angered by Kenshin's reply, as if she were a child being unjustly shielded from the knowledge that rightfully belonged to her as much as it did to him. How could she help him when he wouldn't tell her anything? She wanted nothing as much as to share his heart and the emotions in it... to be allowed to heal the wounds and enfold him in the future's promise without brooding about the past. And this... oh, *why* did he persist in keeping to himself things that hurt the more they were kept secret?
"I--" she began, and stopped.
As she spoke the wind abruptly changed direction and grew stronger, whipping the rain at her face. Dark clouds roiled into existence overhead, and lightning flashed across the suddenly stormy sky.
Kenshin rose to shield her from the ice-sharp needles of rain. "Get inside!" he shouted, trying to make his voice heard over the roar of thunder. Sanosuke, shielding Megumi with his jacket, appeared at the dojo gates and ran inside with Kenshin and Kaoru.
"What happened to you?" Kaoru asked Sano and Megumi as soon as they were inside.
Megumi wrung out a lock of dark hair. "I was on my way to the clinic when the storm suddenly broke. And then this roosterhead came out of nowhere and dragged me back here."
"Hey!" Sanosuke protested.
"I didn't say anything, roosterhead," Megumi said sweetly. "Actually I should even thank you for doing that. I wouldn't have made it to the clinic if I hadn't turned back. And at least I didn't get as wet as *you* did."
Sanosuke blinked.
Kaoru took one look at his expression and burst out laughing. "Didn't expect that, did you Sano? What *were* you doing there? I thought you were helping out at the Akabeko."
The wind tore at the dojo before Sanosuke could reply, almost tearing the sliding doors from their frames. Megumi stood up and walked to the other side of the room as the door behind her came loose and streamed away in the wind, letting in the pounding rain. "I've never seen a storm like that," she commented as she took her seat beside Kaoru. "Did you see how suddenly it began?" A crash of thunder, following the lightning that danced across the sky, punctuated that statement.
Kenshin nodded in agreement, then tensed as something came to him. In a moment he was gone, running from the central room to somewhere else.
"Is it just me, or is Kenshin a little uptight these days?" Sanosuke said to nobody in particular a few moments after the rurouni disappeared.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mikomi-dono," Kenshin's voice softly came from outside the girl's room.
No answer.
"Mikomi-dono." Kenshin frowned at the silence, then nudged the sliding door slightly and looked in.
Mikomi was kneeling on the floor, face streaked with tears and hands clenched at her sides. In her lavender eyes there burned an expression Kenshin had never seen before: unutterable anguish, inhuman resolve, and a fury so great and fiery the air around her almost crackled with it.
There was so much raw emotion in the room Kenshin began to think twice about speaking with her. He sighed, sympathetically, and was just about to raise his hand to the door when she spoke.
"What do you want?" she asked hoarsely.
The storm outside grew more furious, the rain pounding like a thousand lead hammers on the roof and the thunder roaring with a powerful voice of its own. --Nothing much, Lady. Out of honor, we merely wished to let you know...--
The anguish in Mikomi's face vanished, to be replaced by contempt. "Let me know what?" she cut the voice short, anger flashing into her lavender eyes. "Let me know that you almost have me in your clutches? As the hunter gives the prey a moment's warning before he kills it in cold blood? How very honorable."
--Hssst! Have a care, Lady Hoshino. You would not do well to endanger the lives of those under this roof,-- the wind whispered. Kenshin's blood froze as he suddenly remembered. (Kaoru!)
"You will stop this storm." Mikomi's lavender eyes narrowed dangerously and her fingers tightened around the curious diamond star she held. "Now."
A white-blue claw of fire lanced across the sky. --As you wish. You may also wish to start running again, Lady.-- Outside, the storm raked at the dojo once, then stopped as suddenly as it had begun. The pounding of the rain lessened to a few occasional patters on the roof.
Kenshin didn't hear Mikomi's reply. He had stumbled away from the doorway and now leaned against a wall. What... was happening? Who... was Mikomi? More importantly, what was she, to so converse with unseen spirits who had the power to summon storms and were of the supernatural darkness? He had long wondered about her, asked himself about her fear and despair, been troubled by his reflection in her lavender eyes. And now that he had seen this...
He tried to compose his thoughts and push all his fears aside as he looked once more into Mikomi's room. She had collapsed onto her futon and was sobbing -- tearing sobs full of regret and guilt that seemed to be torn from her soul. An expression of infinite compassion came into Kenshin's eyes and softened the trouble in them as he saw her thus. "Mikomi-dono..." he whispered as he quietly walked away.
Already he had decided that he would ask her his questions later, perhaps tomorrow. Right now... if he knew anything of the emotions of a tormented soul... she would need silence, and solitude, to calm herself. Asking her to explain something that had caused her so much pain would only wound her more.
The rurouni did not have long to wait for the answers, however.
That night, as his sleep was tortured by dreams of the nightmare past, the silence was shattered by a piercing scream that seemed to be ripped from the heart of fear itself.
Then the scream stopped, as if cut off by a phantom hand.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tsuzuku!
Glossary:
aa = yes
baka = idiot, stupid
-chan = Form of address that implies a certain fondness and familiarity, most used by girls with their friends
itadakimasu = said before a meal; "bon apetit" or just "let's eat!"
jou-chan = jou:girl, female; so jou-chan is something like "Little Miss" or something like that... eeg, it's not easy to translate ^^
kami-sama = "God"
kitsune-onna = kitsune:fox, onna:lady, woman; so kitsune-onna is 'Fox Lady'
maa = placating expression; "calm down" or something like that... it loses a lot in the translation ^^
matte = wait
mou = expression of mild irritation; "geez"
onigiri = food; sushi-like with seaweed wrapped around it
Forgive the disjointed sentences and paragraphs, the typos, and the grammar. English is *not* my first language, and I was puzzling over the structure of Japanese verbs while I wrote the latter parts (...and there are chunks here several months older than the others! orooo...).
More introspection (? is that the right word for it?) here, though no first-person bits. I *can't* write in first person; Winter Sun, from Tomoe's pov, was a fluke. Thanks to everyone who answered my questions about silly little stuff I *will* be using in future parts.
Comments, criticisms, suggestions, questions, and donations ^_~ welcome at sumire@rurouni.com. There's also a glossary thingy at the end, if you need it for the Japanese terms, though entries in the glossary for the previous part won't be included. Standard disclaimers apply.
Written January 2000 and May 2000
* * for emphasis, ( ) for thoughts, [ ] for mindspeech, -- -- for... uh... how do I say this? audible thoughts? ^^;
Preceding part(s):
Part 1: What Brings the Wind
Starlight, Hellfire
Part 2: Shadowed Secrets
by Mia Sereno
Kage [Shadow]:
......What is a shadow?.......
...Reflection of darkness...
.......Following a form........
"Itadakimasu!"
Kaoru smiled, a little ruefully, as Yahiko and Sanosuke dove into the food before them with a gusto that seemed more fitting to a pair of beggars who had not eaten for several weeks than to the reasonably well-fed people they were. As she ate the food Kenshin had prepared, she reflected, even more ruefully, that she was a hopeless failure in the kitchen. But then she pushed those thoughts out of her mind and focused her attention on dinner.
After a while -- perhaps because he was eating too much too quickly, or had tried to swallow a whole onigiri in one gulp -- Sanosuke began to choke. Kaoru looked at his rapidly reddening face with more than just a little satisfaction. "Serves you right for being such a pig, Sano," commented she.
Megumi, who was staying there that night, made a face and pounded on Sano's back until the spasm had passed. "For once the tanuki's right, roosterhead," she said as Sano, gasping, gulped down some water. "You *are* a pig." Looking slyly at Kaoru then at Kenshin, she added, "It's a good thing *you* aren't, ne Ken-san?" Somehow the doctor had contrived to sidle up to Kenshin as she said those words and was now laying a flirtatious hand on the rurouni's arm.
A hand pulled the indignant Kaoru back as a pair of lavender eyes looked warningly at Megumi. "Maa, maa," Mikomi said, "could you two at least let the rest of us eat dinner in peace?" She looked thoughtfully at Sanosuke. "But Sano," she continued, an impish twinkle in her eyes, "you *do* know that you *are* a pig?"
Almost two months had passed since they had first met Mikomi. When Kaoru had met the girl and learned about her 'transient state' she had invited Mikomi to stay in the dojo. Mikomi being a sensible girl who was not at all romantically interested in Kenshin, she and Kaoru had become friends within a few days. The others had also accepted her, as a friend and -- something Kenshin, Megumi, and she herself were all thankful for, though for different reasons -- unquestioningly.
This was not to say that all was peace and harmony when Mikomi settled into their lives. Sanosuke and Yahiko had their views of her as the 'demure, quiet lady' shattered when they found that Mikomi was the possessor of a wit as biting as Megumi's sarcasm and a willingness to use it that matched Kaoru's enthusiasm. Though she didn't tease Sano as Megumi was wont to, she could irritate him almost equally with her disconcerting look that seemed to say she was secretly laughing at him. Yahiko found in her another 'older sister', one who -- unfortunately for him -- unfailingly took Kaoru's side in every argument.
One could say that Mikomi had settled into their lives as well as anyone might be expected to. Indeed, the only thing strange about Mikomi was how she acted toward Kenshin.
When Kaoru had invited Mikomi to stay in the dojo, Kenshin thought he caught dread flicker for a split-second in the girl's lavender eyes before she had accepted. With the insight of one whose eyes saw far more than he was thought to, he knew that what inspired that fear had something to do with him.
But why?
The weeks that followed never gave him the reason. Mikomi was kind to him, certainly, but she was never as close to him as she was to Kaoru or Megumi, or even Yahiko and Sanosuke. Somehow she always maintained a painful distance that was hidden beneath exquisitely subtle layers of politeness and pleasant deference.
Occasionally he would see her, when she thought she was alone, stroking a hollow of her throat and biting her lips to hold back choking sobs. Other times when he came quietly in the room her eyes would widen and the lavender pale in a sudden flash of fear that was gone as soon as it came. Mikomi would never say anything to him, but...
"Mou! Yahiko!"
"You give that back to Mikomi-chan, right now!"
A deep-throated chuckle. "Yeah Yahiko, why steal Mikomi's food when you can take Kenshin's?" As if to prove his point, Sano reached to snag some of Kenshin's food but was brought up short when he was sharply rapped across the knuckles. "Oi!"
"Shame on you, roosterhead," Megumi said reprovingly. "If you have to have more, why not take Kaoru's, and not the poor dear's. I've noticed that tanuki-chan has been getting heavier, anyway."
Mikomi hid a smile at Kaoru's and Kenshin's expressions, gathered the bowls, cups, and chopsticks, and stood up. "Would you like to help in washing the dishes, Megumi-san?" she asked as she headed to the kitchen.
Megumi hurriedly rose and followed her.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow, as Megumi and Mikomi were occupied in the kitchen, Sanosuke and Yahiko wandered off and left Kenshin and Kaoru alone in the central room.
There were a few moments of silence. Kaoru quietly watched Kenshin as his violet gaze settled onto the night-darkened garden and was lost in the shadows. Then, maybe because she couldn't think of anything to say, she too looked out into the night.
The clouds around the moon drew back. Moonlight now silvered the garden, lighting the leaves and blades of grass with pale fire and calling the shadows of night into life. In the light of the moon the night seemed somehow frozen, imbued with all the pure coldness of virgin snow, etched in a moment of emotionless perfection.
Then, because they couldn't think of anything else to say to each other, they talked of commonplace things while each wished with all his or her heart that the other would... say... what he or she really felt... and talk of something else that had more to do with "us" and "you" than with "it", or even "them".
"Will you be going to market tomorrow?" asked Kaoru.
"Aa... we're running low on vegetables and tofu," Kenshin answered. He smiled the rurouni's smile. "Would you like to come along, Kaoru-dono?"
Kaoru grimaced. "I'd just be tempted to buy that kimono I saw when Mikomi-chan and I were shopping for her clothes. Go on without me."
Kenshin smiled again, nodded slightly, and gazed at the starless, moonlit sky. "Beautiful night," he murmured.
"Yes..." Kaoru looked up at the moon and sighed, then turned again to Kenshin. Whatever she was about to say was forgotten when a glowing firefly alighted on her hand. "Look!" She turned wide blue eyes to the tiny pinpoints of light that came alive and danced like golden stars throughout the garden, shattering the motionlessness of the night and replacing it with sparkling movement.
Perhaps because of the memories the fireflies stirred, it took Kenshin a long while to reply. When he did open his mouth to speak Kaoru was already in the garden, laughing as she played, like a child, with the fireflies. The way she could so effortlessly combine carefree beauty and artless innocence tugged at his heart and took the sting from the memory of farewell, and he started to laugh as well, very softly.
A shadow passed over the moon.
Glancing at Kenshin out of the corner of her eyes, Kaoru saw a smile curve his lips and the light of laughter appear in his eyes. The next moment the laugh died on his lips as the shadow blotted out the moon's light.
In that peculiar, sudden darkness Kenshin was changed... soulless, somehow, and Kaoru had the sudden feeling that all that really *was* Kenshin had been eclipsed by an overpowering evil. Even his eyes -- which only a moment before were violet with emotion shining in their depths -- darkened and the pupils drowned out by the now cold-blooded irises.
Unconsciously, Kaoru took a step backward, her eyes never leaving his form. She could feel an evil in him, a darkness that was radiating from him and withering her spirit. A bewildered voice in her mind asked what had happened to the real Kenshin, the one she knew.
"Kenshin!" she gasped.
The shadow swirled around the luminous orb that was the moon, then wavered and was gone.
As the darkness lifted and was replaced by the cold radiance of the moon, humanity and emotion rushed back, as air rushes to fill a vacuum, into Kenshin's face. "Kaoru-dono?" His face turned pale, and a stricken expression came into his eyes. "What... happened?"
How could she tell him when knowing of that would only cause him more pain and guilt? "Nothing, Kenshin... nothing."
By the time she went to bed Kaoru had convinced herself that it was only a cloud shadowing the moon.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How are you so far?"
Mikomi looked up from the tub of water she was bending over. "Well, Megumi-san, the cups are almost done," she responded with what might have been a twinkle in her lavender eyes.
Wondering whether the girl really meant that answer or was just teasing her, Megumi laughed slightly and said, "no, no, I was wondering how you have adjusted. I've been meaning to ask, but I haven't been able to come to the dojo as much as I would... like."
"I *am* glad Kaoru-chan let me stay here," Mikomi answered. "And Kaoru-chan... Yahiko, Sano... Himura-san... have been very kind. I don't think I could have found a better... family." She rinsed the knife she was washing and shook off the water.
The doctor nodded. She had more or less expected that reply, even the 'Himura-san' none of them could explain (after all, hadn't they introduced Kenshin as just Kenshin? And wasn't she close enough to them to drop all the formalities?). "Despite everything?"
"Despite everything." The girl smiled. It was a strange smile, tinged with sorrow and age-old longing that somehow contrasted with her youthful face.
It was then that Megumi realized that she had never, ever heard Mikomi laugh.
Not that it was unnatural with Mikomi. Other people might have seemed tragic in this absence of laughter, but Mikomi didn't. And yet Mikomi so sparkled with life that she could even be as vibrant as Kaoru. The doctor mulled it over even as her hands washed a tiny porcelain cup.
Megumi was never to know what prompted her next question, but the answer would trouble her for a long time. "Mikomi-san... if I may ask, where would you have gone if Kaoru hadn't asked you to stay at the dojo?"
There was a long silence before Mikomi replied. "I... I would have gone on running again, I suppose," she said so softly Megumi had to strain to catch the words as they dropped from the girl's lips. "And probably have been killed as soon as I was out of the city." She smiled bitterly.
At that moment a shadow covered the moon.
The moonlight streaming in the shutters vanished and was replaced by unreal darkness. Mikomi stopped, surprised, and looked out at the darkened sky incredulously. "What..." she gasped to herself. "It can't be!"
Maybe because she was looking at the water in the tub as the shadow blotted out the light, Megumi was the first to notice what happened to the water in the darkness.
The water had turned to blood.
Megumi raised frightened eyes to look at Mikomi. The color had completely drained out of the girl's face, and her lavender eyes were impossibly wide. It seemed to Megumi's suddenly fevered mind that it was Mikomi who was bleeding, and there was a stab wound at the hollow of her throat. Abstractedly, the ever-present doctor in Megumi fought against her fear and reminded herself that a wound like that was near-impossible to survive.
"Mikomi-san?"
The girl didn't seem to hear. Her lips moved as if in silent prayer, and finally a choked sob came out of her throat. "You have found me," she whispered to the shadow, the whisper not even reaching the other woman's ears. Mikomi finally looked down at her hands and felt her throat. The blood had trickled down, staining the plain blue kimono she wore. "No..."
The bowl Megumi had been drying slipped from her suddenly nerveless fingers and crashed onto the floor, breaking into a thousand porcelain shards.
Abruptly, the shadow disappeared, leaving the two women in the room bending over a tub of water beside porcelain fragments. The wound on Mikomi's throat and the bloodstains had disappeared as if they had never been, though her face was still very pale. "Daijoubu, Megumi-san?" she asked as the doctor shook herself free of her thoughts and tried to reassure herself that reality was as it should be.
"I'm all right." Megumi's eyes flicked to Mikomi's face, then to the shattered bowl. As she started gathering the pieces, she asked, "What was that?"
Color returned to Mikomi's face, and the tears disappeared. "Just a cloud passing over the moon."
And yet... and yet, Megumi knew it was much, much more than that... it was another revelation, another omen, of this strange darkness that seemed to be growing, encroaching upon her awareness day by day like the hunter tracking his prey.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mikomi awoke before daybreak. The sky was still veiled in mist, the air still cold and asleep, and the girl drew her yukata closer about her and tried to warm herself as she rose from her futon and rolled it up. She drew open one of the sliding doors to her room, stepped out into the corridor, and padded on cat's feet to the small garden.
She shivered as the cold mist drew its invisible arms around her, but did not walk away and instead sat down on a wooden step. Arms around herself and head bowed down, she let the cold seep slowly into her and remembered.
The mist danced its coldness around her, shrouding her in white and making her seem more ethereal, supernatural... a pale ghost with dark hair bowed on a step with the weight of eternity and man's sorrows pressing down on her. The thought came to her then that in this mist of blindness and visions it was so easy to let go of life as she had long wanted to, to become one with the veil of white coldness and join the spirits of the dead.
The dead...
A tear trickled slowly down her pale cheek.
The dead, and remembering...
Remembering? But then she had never really forgotten. How could she, when all that she was, all that she would be... present and future, all hinged upon the past? And her duty, and her power.
Her power.
A bitter smile curved her lips as she thought of the power men would have killed to possess but she would have given everything to lose, the power that was both a blessing and a curse, the curse of her family and blessing of men. Oh, men would die -- men *had* died, suffered, and lived all over again only to experience reality -- all in the name of blind grasping for this power.
But they would die, not knowing -- not being capable of knowing -- the full extent of the power that was not of men and worked its mysterious ways shrouded in the mist of false dawn. They woud die in their search for this power, for the heritage and the legacy that filled her life and thrummed through her veins like quicksilver, deadly beautiful.
The weight of it all pressed heavier on her every day, bringing back the ancient pain and fear. She did not *want* this. She did not want to accept her duty, even her legacy. They, those who had gone before, had accepted the power; she had not yet. Not *yet*.
It was futile to resist its call, to deny it dominion over her destiny.
Then again, Mikomi had resisted the call of the power this long. If any of her blood still lived they would chide her and ask her why she refused to take up the duty that had been passed through her family throughout the years. Why?
She was afraid! Afraid of what it would bring to bear in her life. Fear ruled her even now. Fear of *them* and of the power inside her.
The power is not just a thing, her mother had said to her once. It is alive, and it has a will of its own. And it will not be weilded carelessly or without honor. Beware, for you may find that *it* is weilding *you*.
Her family had suffered and died because none of them, not even her mother, were strong enough to bear the power while resisting its curse. Or to resist its overpowering will that would rule their lives from the moment of their first touching it to their last breath.
Yet... what were they to do? They had no choice. None of them had...
...not even she.
Not even those of the Kamiya dojo. Not even the one now known as Himura. Tears filled her eyes as almost overpowering regret swept like a wave through her being, bringing with it new frustration and worried questions. He who had once been hitokiri and now was a man torn between the past and the future, did he see the warning she brought? Did he remember the shadow that had entered him once, more than a decade ago, and was poised to possess him completely yet again?
Did he even know of the darkness?
The question brought her up short and made her gasp. Perhaps he didn't. She knew that the others... Kaoru-chan, Yahiko, Sanosuke... did not even see the darkness, the evil, that even now hovered above them. Then again, they had only been drawn into this because of Himura-san...
...because of that man who, long ago, had been a legend and lived as a contradiction of strength in a time of turmoil. Because of that man who the darkness had wanted to claim as its instrument. Because of him who was haunted by the shadow.
Now the darkness had found *him*... and her.
What would happen now?
Mikomi had a sudden vision of the darkness' creatures overrunning the dojo bent on slaughter, and pushed it away. She had to face the consequences of coming here to warn *him*. But the others? They didn't have anything to do with the darkness. Would the darkness take them, too?
Oh, if only... She shouldn't have come here!... but how could she have warned Battousai... and Megumi-san... otherwise?
As she raised her arms to the mist, dazzling pinpoints of cold enfolding her, she let herself be lost in the past.
Remembering...
And the memories took form in the swirling, infinitely cold and cruel white mist.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As always, Kenshin rose before the sun, the eerie cold of the air before dawn enfolding him in silence. The steel-gray light of false dawn etched his face and hair in lead as he stepped quietly out of his small room and through the hallways of the dojo.
He paused before Kaoru's room and nudged the door softly open. Kaoru lay on her futon in the sound slumber of the innocent and idealistic. Her face was somewhat sobered the gravity of one who has seen life and its reality, but still glowed with the promise and hope of one who keeps the cherished ideals and dreams close by, never letting the disappointments of the world extinguish the flame.
Her soul was delicate and pure as butterfly wings that soar up to the heights of heaven... how could he taint her with the darkness of his? Touch her innocence with his hands that knew blood and death as nightmares of the past?...
[Battousai... I have found you, and now that I have... the shadow shall claim all that is you and yours.]
Kenshin turned abruptly at the sibilant whisper in his mind. It was sourceless, as that wind had been, and it was, once again, a warning. That the danger, the evil, was inching closer with every passing moment.
And it knew him. Knew every aspect of him, every thought that had passed through his brain. Kenshin saw in that brief flash of thought through which he was connected to the evil by its whispering, that it also understood him. The evil understood his thoughts and his whole being far, far better than he understood himself, and it knew the darkness and light that struggled continuously at the center of his being.
He passed a hand over his eyes, trying to clear his mind of those thoughts. He had never felt the darkness of the shadowed secrets more than he did now... had never before, in the months past, felt the instinctive chill that ran through him whenever he saw himself mirrored in Mikomi's lavender eyes.
(Mikomi...)
She would know. How could she not? She heralded the wind, with all the secrets and shadows following in its wake.
His footsteps sounded very loud on the wooden floor as he almost ran through the corridors and to Mikomi's room, hurried on by the... urgency, the need to know. He slid open the door of the room Kaoru had given her.
Nothing.
A soft cry, filled with infinite despair, drew him to the garden. He found the girl there, dark hair falling in shadowed night over her pale, exquisite face twisted in pain, a ghost in the unearthly mist. She held a sword in her lap, shrouded by white and stinging cold.
He knew that sword. He had weilded it for several thousand times all which he wished to forget, reaving with it the life and blood of men, the sustenance of their families, igniting with it rage and sorrow and powerless, helpless despair.
For a timeless, terrible moment Kenshin stood there, as powerless to move as when he first saw her lavender eyes, as the sword lifted itself from her lap. Drawn by an unseen force, the sword dipped its point once suspended as it was in mid-air... as if in salute, then, smoothly, without stopping, stabbed itself deep into Mikomi... into the vulnerable part of her throat where throbbed the vein of life's blood.
Kenshin felt motion rush back into him, weakening him so abruptly he cried out in the pain of discovery and the helplessness of the beings caught in Destiny's weave. The sword shimmered and disappeared into the illusions of memory... and Mikomi looked up, lavender eyes startled, then rushed to his side even as his strength failed him and he fell to the ground. The white cotton of her yukata whispered against her as she bent at his side, and Kenshin's eyes saw nothing, no scar, no wound, from the illusion of Battousai's sword.
"Himura-san!" she gasped. "What are you doing here... up so early, I mean?"
Silence. There was no need for him to answer. By the expression of their eyes meeting each other, so alike and yet so far apart, he understood that she knew what he had seen.
There would be no changing that.
And now all that was left were the shadows and dangers, darker and more menacing than before, for they had been strengthened by age-old guilt that had trickled its unforgiving way through Kenshin's heart and now burst free from its shackles of oblivion, flooding vengefully even the core where the secrets of darkness and light lay.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megumi's brown eyes darted worriedly between Kenshin and Mikomi as she picked her way through the "lunch" Kaoru had attempted to cook. Their expressions were strained, as if they were keeping the strength of their emotions tightly within control, restraining their thoughts that held truths too painful to admit.
Between them vibrated a silence laden with forced acknowledgement that screamed its *wrongness* at Megumi's unusually keen perception. The lavender of Mikomi's eyes was drowning in the dark pupils of her despair... and, strangely, fear... but Kenshin's violet was darker, shadowed by something that went far deeper than guilt and reached into the depths of his nightmare past.
Still, Mikomi... the silence she drew about herself was of secrecy, tantalizingly hovering on the edges of her understanding but remaining out of reach. (Then she *must* have been trying to escape what this 'darkness' is... but then again...)
She glanced at Kaoru, trying to gauge her reaction. Kaoru's blue eyes were worried, apprehensive, and the young woman clearly doubted the mask of "everyday" that Kenshin persistently pulled over the trouble in his heart. Kaoru saw no longer the rurouni, but the Kenshin closest to the truth he struggled to deny, and she felt, as sharply as if she herself were going through what he was, that the truth hurt him.
(If only she *knew*,) Megumi thought. (If only I could tell her! but I can't -- won't -- because this is something she has to find out about Mikomi, about Kenshin, for herself.) Her hand lifted slightly, to pass itself over her weary eyes, but then stopped. (Must not show any sign of weariness -- or weakness.)
Yet how could she not, when all this was happening in so short a time and threatened her everyday life as she knew it? Her life, Kenshin's life, the others' lives, unknowing as they were. And -- she sighed inwardly, remembering the sudden flash of darkness' storms that had touched her awareness briefly -- not only their way of living, but perhaps even whether they lived. Or died.
She glanced at Sanosuke to see if *he* saw, instinctively smothering a flame of guilt -- or something else that asked whether she was not merely finding an excuse to look at his face once more, memorizing every detail of it as she was wont to. No, no... Such nonsense! and her mind laughed nervously at herself, half-afraid and half-ashamed at those thoughts. In the brown depths of his eyes -- those eyes... (Stop it, Megumi!) -- she saw confusion and trouble swirling like long-placid water now disturbed by unfamiliar, strange, circumstances.
Sano looked at her, asking silently, What's going on?
Nothing, she replied without words, instead with a slight inclination of her head that hid her surprise at understanding him so well. No... something, but you do not need to know.
Why...? he gestured it this time with a slight frown and a question echoing all the stronger in his brown eyes. Is it them, kitsune-onna? with a barely-concealed glance at Kenshin quietly brooding, Kaoru watching him, and Mikomi lost in her own world of despair.
She shrugged, then darted a warning glance at him and looked at Yahiko. Don't let him be drawn into this, baka.
A glare, a sniff of irritation. Of course not.
Megumi smirked at him, one eyebrow raised, sarcastic gestures that quickly banished the bewilderment in her heart with the amusement of teasing Sano. He was almost too easy to annoy, and she was enjoying this anyway. Really now, roosterhead, do you think you can *not* blab everything to them with all your famous tact? Hmmmm?
Sanosuke grimaced in reply, then looked away -- to her it seemed as if he almost tore his eyes away from her (No, Megumi. You're only fooling yourself... and besides, why care about what that baka thinks? or does?) -- only to catch Yahiko trying to steal his remaining food. "Oi, Yahiko-chan, you must be really hungry... to try to eat more of Jou-chan's cooking."
Yahiko struggled against Sanosuke's arm that was holding him at bay. "Don't call me -chan!" He grumbled, then added, "I wouldn't be doing this if I weren't so hungry. Kaoru's outdone her usual bad cooking."
Kaoru, still deep in thought, protested with only "Yahiko-chan!" and nothing of her usual physical reinforcement. Megumi shook her head slightly, a small smile playing on her lips, then gave in and decided to shake Kaoru out of her worried line of thought. "Are you sure you're feeling well, Yahiko-chan? Only delirium would make anyone want more of *this*. Here, let me feel your forehead."
An enraged Yahiko pried her fingers from his forehead while trying to bite Sano's hair, with Kaoru -- finally roused from her reverie -- drawing her bokken and managing to hit both Sanosuke and Yahiko with it. All in all, things were shaping up to be a splendid fight, but one that was hardly appropriate given the circumstances. Then again, that had never stopped them... and they had never received the kind of warning Megumi had.
Megumi ducked to avoid a flying chopstick, then with an "I think I'd better go now, arigatou," she made her getaway out a door.
She was hurrying down the street when she heard the patter of slippered feet behind her and Mikomi's voice. "Megumi-san!"
(Well, finally... I hope *she'll* be able to clear this up. What the warning tells about is not something to be dismissed.)
"Mikomi-san."
"Megumi-san..." Mikomi ran up to her. Now that the girl was closer, Megumi could see the dark circles underneath Mikomi's lavender eyes, which contrasted with her pale, pale skin. Mikomi caught Megumi's arm, and the doctor was surprised by just how strong the grip of her fingers -- cold, slender vices around her wrist -- were. "Matte, Megumi-san... don't leave yet."
(I won't, not if the words come from *you*.) "What is it, Mikomi-san?" she asked, trying to keep her voice as pleasant and steady -- and noncommital -- as possible.
The hand around Megumi's wrist tightened. [You don't understand!] Megumi's eyes widened as they took in the blazing intensity of the girl's pale face and the doctor heard the thought as clearly as if Mikomi had spoken it. "Please, Megumi-san. You're the one person among them who is able to understand what is really happening."
Megumi shook herself free of Mikomi's hand and the gaze of her lavender eyes. "I?" she protested. "I don't even know what this is about!" Her voice was escalating into little-known bafflement and panic, causing Mikomi to pull her inside a doorway of an abandoned house. "Can't you tell that I'm even more confused than they are?"
The girl bowed her head. "Yes," she whispered. [And much, much more... If only I could tell you! If only you would understand!]
The tone of Mikomi's voice made Megumi want to pound her hand against the wooden wall in frustration. "How?" Her question carried with it the anger of one helplessly in the dark. "Who are you, Mikomi? Why are you doing this?" Then, because the question had been echoing in the vaults of her mind for so long, "What is this all about? Why are you playing games with my -- and Ken-san's -- mind?"
"I'm not."
"Why are you doing this, then?"
Mikomi looked at her carefully. "What 'this' are you talking about, Megumi-san?"
"You know very well what I'm talking about," Megumi snapped, her patience coming to an end. "The darkness... the warning... everything. Ever since you've come things have... changed."
Mikomi's reply sent chills racing up and down Megumi's spine. "Would you rather have had no warning of what was to come, Megumi-san? The darkness... what you saw in my thoughts... is coming, and nothing I can do will change that."
"I don't understand."
The younger girl dropped her gaze, but when she spoke again her voice was no longer that of the innocent girl who had settled as a friend in their lives only a few weeks ago but that of a woman -- a survivor -- forced to mature and be strong by events over which she had no control. "No. You don't." She paused. "How much *do* you know, Megumi-san?"
"Nothing."
A faint smile curved Mikomi's lips. "Come now, Megumi-san," she murmured gently, persuasively, "if I am as sinister as you think I am, I *must* know that you looked into my thoughts the day we first met."
"Looked into your thoughts? That's ridiculous." (Ridiculous that she knows. Who *is* this girl?)
"Megumi-san," Mikomi said firmly, dropping the pretense of gentle vulnerability, "if you want the truth you must be prepared to give it."
Megumi sighed. It was not like her to accept the supernatural; even less like her to believe, or give consideration to, the stray whispers and warnings that had haunted her thoughts since she had seen the girl. But try as she might, she could *not* put aside the sense of almost tangible dread that overshadowed her. "Only... darkness," she answered finally. "Something that seemed to be made of pure, inhuman evil. And overwhelming fear." She looked closely at the other girl. "And I thought... it was strange, that someone like you would fear so much."
"Strange? Not really, if you think about it," the girl replied, her voice once more gentle and hovering on the edge of being a whisper. "Everyone is afraid of something. Even you, Megumi-san... *you* are afraid of your own feelings more than anything else." Mikomi's lavender eyes deepened into thoughtful evening, and she opened her mouth to speak again.
Megumi interrupted more out of a desire not to hear the rest of Mikomi's words than anything else. "I'd be very grateful if *you* could explain yourself as well, Mikomi-san," she said dryly, her veil of dark hair hiding her (hopefully still neutral) face.
Mikomi smiled one of her cryptic little smiles. "That is only fair, isn't it?" She smiled again, but this time the smile was tinged with sorrow. "What is to explain? You -- and Kenshin-san -- have received the warning and know of my fear. That is enough."
"No, Mikomi-san, it isn't."
"But..."
A sigh escaped Megumi's lips. "Mikomi," she began, intentionally dropping the honorific, "I have to admit that I still don't understand. And I *still* don't know who you really are."
"Is that really important, Megumi-san? Can't you just think of me as a messenger?"
Megumi shook her head and tried to keep her voice from betraying the frustration she felt. "Of course I can't, because I know you're much more than that. Please, Mikomi-san, stop playing games and at least tell me the truth!"
"Kami-sama, Megumi-san," the girl hissed, her voice suddenly like steel and her eyes alive with lavender fire, "you think this is just a game? You think I risked my life by coming within reach of a hitokiri to play *games*?"
The doctor was stunned by the younger woman's reaction and tried to answer. (Hitokiri?! She knows?) "It's just..." She stopped, struggled with it, and resisted the urge to throw up her hands in the air in exasperation. "I have never believed in anything I don't see. And I don't *want* to believe or accept this 'darkness'... this warning, those 'signs'... or..." and the last word trembled on her lips as a drop of dew on a flower petal, "you."
"Then *trust* your feelings, Megumi-san! You *know* you can see things they -- the others -- can't. Why don't you trust the warning? Why don't you look into your thoughts to see what the darkness really is?" Mikomi released Megumi's arm and looked up, as if searching for reassurance. "I know you are never going to trust me until you know everything," she said finally. "Maybe it's just as well. But maybe this time you need to learn how to trust what other people say... and take their word for what it is." Something cold and wet trickled down Megumi's cheek, and she saw that it was starting to rain.
Mikomi looked up as well and blinked her eyelashes as the raindrops settled on her face and hair. "If you still don't believe, ask Himura-san about the shadow and his past. *He* will tell you... and you will believe him, if not me."
(Ken-san's past? How could she know... more... about him than it seems we do?)
Without another word, Mikomi inclined her head briefly, then turned and walked back to the dojo.
She did not look back.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaoru sat down on the porch beside Kenshin and looked anxiously at his troubled violet eyes. There was emotion in them she thought she would never see again... the guilt of the hitokiri overshadowed by something that was even darker and touched a part of him that had never been illuminated by the light of discovery or truth. She worried about that. She worried that, for the past few days, the Kenshin she knew had gradually been slipping away from her and was being drawn into a whirlpool of shadows and mystery. She worried... she worried that she would lose him.
In the end, she spoke in fear that Kenshin *had* slipped away and was impossibly lost in the web of memories that he had surrounded himself with. "Kenshin?"
Kenshin started and gave a short, choking sort of gasp. "Kaoru-dono," he answered, then looked out into the rain and shook his head slightly, as if to clear it.
"What's wrong?"
"It's nothing..." Kenshin's eyes took on a strange expression as he looked out at the rain. "Nothing you should trouble yourself about, Kaoru-dono. I was just... thinking."
She sensed a note of intense pain in his voice and felt answering tears prickling her eyes. Blinking them away, she murmured, "if you want to talk about it, I'm here."
He gazed at her for an eternal moment before answering. "Kaoru..." he began, and caught himself, "-dono... arigatou." A hand took hers and pressed it gratefully.
Strangely, Kaoru felt a part of her somehow... angered by Kenshin's reply, as if she were a child being unjustly shielded from the knowledge that rightfully belonged to her as much as it did to him. How could she help him when he wouldn't tell her anything? She wanted nothing as much as to share his heart and the emotions in it... to be allowed to heal the wounds and enfold him in the future's promise without brooding about the past. And this... oh, *why* did he persist in keeping to himself things that hurt the more they were kept secret?
"I--" she began, and stopped.
As she spoke the wind abruptly changed direction and grew stronger, whipping the rain at her face. Dark clouds roiled into existence overhead, and lightning flashed across the suddenly stormy sky.
Kenshin rose to shield her from the ice-sharp needles of rain. "Get inside!" he shouted, trying to make his voice heard over the roar of thunder. Sanosuke, shielding Megumi with his jacket, appeared at the dojo gates and ran inside with Kenshin and Kaoru.
"What happened to you?" Kaoru asked Sano and Megumi as soon as they were inside.
Megumi wrung out a lock of dark hair. "I was on my way to the clinic when the storm suddenly broke. And then this roosterhead came out of nowhere and dragged me back here."
"Hey!" Sanosuke protested.
"I didn't say anything, roosterhead," Megumi said sweetly. "Actually I should even thank you for doing that. I wouldn't have made it to the clinic if I hadn't turned back. And at least I didn't get as wet as *you* did."
Sanosuke blinked.
Kaoru took one look at his expression and burst out laughing. "Didn't expect that, did you Sano? What *were* you doing there? I thought you were helping out at the Akabeko."
The wind tore at the dojo before Sanosuke could reply, almost tearing the sliding doors from their frames. Megumi stood up and walked to the other side of the room as the door behind her came loose and streamed away in the wind, letting in the pounding rain. "I've never seen a storm like that," she commented as she took her seat beside Kaoru. "Did you see how suddenly it began?" A crash of thunder, following the lightning that danced across the sky, punctuated that statement.
Kenshin nodded in agreement, then tensed as something came to him. In a moment he was gone, running from the central room to somewhere else.
"Is it just me, or is Kenshin a little uptight these days?" Sanosuke said to nobody in particular a few moments after the rurouni disappeared.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mikomi-dono," Kenshin's voice softly came from outside the girl's room.
No answer.
"Mikomi-dono." Kenshin frowned at the silence, then nudged the sliding door slightly and looked in.
Mikomi was kneeling on the floor, face streaked with tears and hands clenched at her sides. In her lavender eyes there burned an expression Kenshin had never seen before: unutterable anguish, inhuman resolve, and a fury so great and fiery the air around her almost crackled with it.
There was so much raw emotion in the room Kenshin began to think twice about speaking with her. He sighed, sympathetically, and was just about to raise his hand to the door when she spoke.
"What do you want?" she asked hoarsely.
The storm outside grew more furious, the rain pounding like a thousand lead hammers on the roof and the thunder roaring with a powerful voice of its own. --Nothing much, Lady. Out of honor, we merely wished to let you know...--
The anguish in Mikomi's face vanished, to be replaced by contempt. "Let me know what?" she cut the voice short, anger flashing into her lavender eyes. "Let me know that you almost have me in your clutches? As the hunter gives the prey a moment's warning before he kills it in cold blood? How very honorable."
--Hssst! Have a care, Lady Hoshino. You would not do well to endanger the lives of those under this roof,-- the wind whispered. Kenshin's blood froze as he suddenly remembered. (Kaoru!)
"You will stop this storm." Mikomi's lavender eyes narrowed dangerously and her fingers tightened around the curious diamond star she held. "Now."
A white-blue claw of fire lanced across the sky. --As you wish. You may also wish to start running again, Lady.-- Outside, the storm raked at the dojo once, then stopped as suddenly as it had begun. The pounding of the rain lessened to a few occasional patters on the roof.
Kenshin didn't hear Mikomi's reply. He had stumbled away from the doorway and now leaned against a wall. What... was happening? Who... was Mikomi? More importantly, what was she, to so converse with unseen spirits who had the power to summon storms and were of the supernatural darkness? He had long wondered about her, asked himself about her fear and despair, been troubled by his reflection in her lavender eyes. And now that he had seen this...
He tried to compose his thoughts and push all his fears aside as he looked once more into Mikomi's room. She had collapsed onto her futon and was sobbing -- tearing sobs full of regret and guilt that seemed to be torn from her soul. An expression of infinite compassion came into Kenshin's eyes and softened the trouble in them as he saw her thus. "Mikomi-dono..." he whispered as he quietly walked away.
Already he had decided that he would ask her his questions later, perhaps tomorrow. Right now... if he knew anything of the emotions of a tormented soul... she would need silence, and solitude, to calm herself. Asking her to explain something that had caused her so much pain would only wound her more.
The rurouni did not have long to wait for the answers, however.
That night, as his sleep was tortured by dreams of the nightmare past, the silence was shattered by a piercing scream that seemed to be ripped from the heart of fear itself.
Then the scream stopped, as if cut off by a phantom hand.
~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tsuzuku!
Glossary:
aa = yes
baka = idiot, stupid
-chan = Form of address that implies a certain fondness and familiarity, most used by girls with their friends
itadakimasu = said before a meal; "bon apetit" or just "let's eat!"
jou-chan = jou:girl, female; so jou-chan is something like "Little Miss" or something like that... eeg, it's not easy to translate ^^
kami-sama = "God"
kitsune-onna = kitsune:fox, onna:lady, woman; so kitsune-onna is 'Fox Lady'
maa = placating expression; "calm down" or something like that... it loses a lot in the translation ^^
matte = wait
mou = expression of mild irritation; "geez"
onigiri = food; sushi-like with seaweed wrapped around it