Figurines and Spirit Guides
"Mister? Are you Okay?" Don looked around the room. "What the, who's saying that?" He asked aloud still looking around. "I am!" He felt something land on his chest. He raised his head and looked, there stood before him a small grey horse no more than three inches tall with a golden mane. "I never had any horse figurines in my room, where the hell did I get this?" He asked while reaching for the small horse. "I'm not a toy, I'm Derpy!"
Don froze, everything was functioning in his head up until this very moment. If we could look at Don's head from a machine's point of view, the contraption that would be the Cerebellum just exploded. "You...You just talked." Derpy, cocked her head to one side, "Of course I can, I can also sing songs, and dance but I don't do that very often because I might crash and break things." He got up and paced about his room. "Yep, I've died, it's all over, dead at twenty, game over man, I could've done so many things, seen so many sights..." He continued to ramble on endlessly. "I could've gone to see The Great wall of Berlin, or the Leaning Tower of China..."
Derpy took flight and looked on somewhat concerned for the poor...whatever it was but it was obviously not having a good day, she tried to speak up every now and then to try and calm him down but to no avail. After about a minute or so she decided she need to take matters into her own hooves. She flew up into his face trying to get his attention. "Hey!" she said waving her hooves. No response. "Hellooo?" Still no response nor giving her any sort of acknowledgement that she was there. Deciding she had had enough she turned around and with all of her strength bucked him in the face. Her efforts were rewarded with an "ow" and silence after that.
Don felt pain on his cheek and was brought back to reality. He turned to Derpy, "Thanks, I needed that." He thought everything was okay until he noticed something else. The small horse, was flying in front of his face with a pair of wings. "And now you're flying. Well, this proves it, I've died and gone insane." But before he could go into another mental breakdown he remembered something, "Wait, if I'm dead that means I can see my body on the floor, people can see their body when they're a spirit right?" he asked. He looked around the room, "I don't see my body, maybe I can take it with me then to the afterlife?" He looked at Derpy, "Does that mean I'm a spirit now? Are you my Spirit Guide to the afterlife or are you an agent of Charon here to take me to the River Styx? I hope Charon takes debit..."
The Pegasus shrugged, "I don't Know, but a River of Sticks sure does sound silly, I mean, how are fish supposed to swim in it if its full of twigs and stuff? Not unless the fish are made of wood," she began to rub her chin with one of her hooves. Don sighed at sat down at his desk, "I still haven't confirmed if I'm dead or not. I'm just going to assume I'm still alive, just having a massive hallucination from when I hit my head on the floor." Derpy flew over to where he was sitting and landed on the desk still giving him a quizzical look. Don ran his hand over his face and sighed again before noticing the small Pegasus. "Oh Hey, you're still here which means I'm still nuts."
The two stared at each other for an awkward ten seconds before Don spoke up. "What? What are you staring at?" Derpy squinted a bit, "I'm trying to figure out just what kind of pony you are. I've seen plenty, and you don't look like any I've ever seen." Don raised an eyebrow, "Pony? I'm not a pony, I'm a person, well, a human being to be exact." Derpy cocked her head again to the side again, "Hmmm, 'hooman'... never heard of a hooman before."
Don let out a huff of laughter. "Right, and you're a Pegasus, a very small one at that." He extended his hand out to Derpy and was met with only a confused look. "I mean look, you can fit in my hand." Don lowered his outstretched hand. Derpy climbed onto the palm of his hand. She only spanned just past the base of his fingers. "Funny, you're not real yet I can feel the pressure of your weight on my hand and when you kicked me in the face earlier. Man, I really must've hit my head."
Don shifted his attention back to the Pegasus. "So do you have a name or something, or do I have to name you?" Derpy straightened up, "Like I said, my name is Derpy! Derpy Hooves, and I'm the best mail-mare in Equestria!" The gears in Don's head started turning again before he came upon a realization. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Derpy Hooves? As in, the Pegasus that nearly destroyed a town hall?"
Derpy looked down. "It wasn't my fault, I was just trying to help." she said while giving a small sniffle. Don internally panicked and scolded himself. "Oh no, now you've gone and made her upset, way to go douche-bag." Don rallied his thoughts together, "Okay, okay, no need to get upset, I'm sure you're a great mail...mare... and a good helper, I'm sure you could even help me." Derpy looked up, "Really? I could help you?" she said with hopeful eyes.
"Sure why not, you're tiny, how much harm could you do?"