A/N: You guys are wonderful. ;3 A small change in POV for the end part. Hope you guys enjoy.
"Heavy in Your Arms"
Wake me up, wake me up when all is done
I won't rise until this battle's won
My dignity's become undone
-"He Won't Go" by Adele
"Mistress Hawke," the surprise of her being there had been evident on Bodhans' face as she stormed past him. "Master Hawke is-"
"I don't care," she interrupted him. Determination had taken over. Perhaps going to Tevinter wasn't the brightest of ideas but it was the only one that she had. Lily heard Bodhan make more protests behind her. He even went as far as to ask Varric to help but she paid no attention to them. "Carver!" She called for her brother. No answer. Oh. Maker. He. Was. Going. To. Answer. "Carver!" She yelled for him as she got louder before she headed for the stairs. The door to the farthest room in the back opened and she heard an inaudible grumble.
"What in the Maker's name is…" His voice drifted off when their eyes met. "Sister," he greeted her, "I wasn't expecting you."
Lily shook her head. "I knew you didn't approve of him but why tell a complete stranger where we were?" She asked. Carver made a face at her as if he had no clue to why she was upset. "Don't you know better?"
"After what happened in the Holding Caves I thought he'd want to know about his family," he replied, "I know from personal experience that it helps." He referred back to the time where she had given him the letters she found in the cellar from their father to Carver's namesake. "Why? What's wrong?" She bit her lower lip to stop it from quivering. Guilt washed over her. She had been so angry at Carver but it hadn't been his fault. He was doing what he thought was best.
"Danarius found us," she told him. Carver's face fell and he glanced behind him. "I'm sorry dear brother is this a bad time?" She sounded bitter and she knew it. He shook his head 'no' and that's when she saw Isabela emerge from his room. Oh. Her friend gave her a sheepish smile. Modesty was not befitting to the pirate. "I…" She was a loss for words now. "I need your help." She glanced at the floor. She was going to need all of their help. "They took him. They took Fenris. I need your help to get him back." Her vision blurred as tears gathered at the rims of her eyes. She looked back at him.
"Lils," he started, "I can't…"
No. That was not what she was going to hear. "I've never asked you for anything in my life," she told him, "I gave you everything that I could and now I'm begging you for help. What would you do?" She knew. He had cut down the Arishok in the name of defending Isabela. Carver nodded in understanding.
"You have my blade," he told her. She had gone from wanting to throttle him to wanting to hug him in a manner of minutes. "But getting into Minrathous won't be easy."
Isabela snaked her arm around Carver as she looked from him to Lily. "That's why you'll need a smugglers help."
"And mine," she heard Varric behind them, "Besides what kind of story teller would I be if I wasn't there for all the details?"
It had almost been too easy to get the rest to help. Aveline was ready the moment she knew Fenris was in trouble. The two had taken a friendship together as well as Fenris having a close bond with Aveline's husband, Donnic. Merrill had been agreeable to anything since the first day they had met. She said it was what friends do for each other. Yes. Friends. Sebastian would not see his friend fall back into slavery but it had been Anders who had been the difficult one. "I will not," he told Lily when she asked for his help. "You already have the blood mage, what do you need me for? You'll be perfect there." Lily glanced back at the Dalish elf who glared, well attempted to glare, at Anders.
"Why?" Lily asked him, "Do you hate him so much that you would see him back to slavery?" Anders scoffed at her.
"He would see me in the Gallows," he shot back.
Lily shook her head. "He's had plenty of time to attempt to do such a thing but has he? No," she told him. She bit her lower lip and backed away from him. She was ready to leave his clinic. They could go without him. "Be selfish. If it had been you, what would you do?" With that she turned on her heels to leave. Carver touched her arm but she didn't stop.
"Lily, wait!" That hadn't been her brother that was calling for her. She didn't want to wait. She knew if she did, she was going to do something she would regret later. Then he finally caught up with her. She didn't want to look at Anders but it seemed like he wasn't going to speak unless she did. Her eyes focused on the blonde. "I'll help."
"Thank you," she replied. She tried to keep her tone as flat as possible. "It means a lot. I'm sure he'll appreciate it in the end. Maybe then you two could even get along."
"I'm not doing this for him," Anders replied.
That had caused her to pause. Her first instinct had been to question him but it wasn't her place but whatever the case, she knew that she would take whatever help that she could get. With the last of their friends recruited to help, they were ready to go to Tevinter. It was a country ruled by blood mages. They had no qualms with going beyond the norms in the rest of Thedas. They did not hesitate to collar anyone as a slave, and they had no idea what it meant to be civilized. No, their definitions about the term were different from each other. In Tevinter, the mages knew how to weave through dreams. She shuddered to think what would happen if they were found out. They needed to be careful. That much had been clear. The decision to go into the Minrathous as separate groups had been a tactical choice by Aveline and Carver. Lily knew it was smart. She would lead the first group into the capital while her brother would lead the second group. Their first priority was to find Danarius and Fenris.
The travel time was tedious. Lily wanted to keep going, even when she could bear to walk anymore. Carver begged her to rest. She couldn't. How could anyone expect that of her? There had been times when he had to hold her up as they went. She couldn't think straight. She couldn't sleep. All she could think about was what Danarius was doing to Fenris. Isabela had offered them to go by her ship but Lily had been sure that the trip on the sea would have taken longer than through the rest of the Free Marches, the edges of Nevarra, around the Silent Plains and beyond. They had been travelling nonstop until they reached the edges of the Tevinter Imperium when they set camp.
"We have to keep going," she begged them.
"Sister, look at us," Carver started, "We're tired and need to sleep. Fenris will still be there after we rest." Yes. She knew. She was just afraid of the state they would find them in.
"He's right Hawke," Aveline told her, "I don't think I can move another muscle." If Aveline couldn't keep going, then it was a sign. Lils bit her lower lip and nodded.
"Ok," she agreed, "I'm sorry. Let's rest." A chorus of 'thank the Maker' erupted and she felt herself flinched. She glanced to see Carver watching her and she looked away. She had to admit that she was disappointed but she couldn't go by herself.
Night had fallen and as Lily looked out to the distance, she could see the various cities of the Imperium calling out to her. It was her turn to stand guard. Actually, it had been Varric's but the poor dwarf was too tired and she couldn't sleep anyways. Lily rubbed her eyes and let out a small yawn. "You should really sleep you know," a voice told her. She would have jumped to her feet immediately if she didn't recognize the voice. She turned her head to look at her brother who took a seat next to her. "I wanted to apologize again," he continued, "I feel like this is my fault. If you blame me, I fully accept the responsibility."
She raised an eyebrow at her brother. Years ago he would have pointed the finger at her even if she hadn't been to blame. He would have seen her be punished for his down faults but now, he wasn't her kid brother anymore. Carver had grown into a man and she felt sorry that she had missed most of his growing. "I don't blame you," she told him. Not anymore, though that time had been brief. "Danarius finding him was only a matter of time…. It's just…" The words choked in her throat. They were bitter, vile, and made the pits of her stomach church. She sniffed and her vision blurred. She never cried in front of her brother. She had always wanted to be strong for him, for everyone… now she felt like she was coming undone.
"I understand," he told her quietly. Lily wiped at her eyes.
"Do you?" She watched as his gaze turned to the sleeping figure of Isabela. "Ah," she said. She lifted up a hand and touched his shoulder. "Well I have to hand it to you. I never thought I'd see the day that either of you settled down." She watched her brother blush.
"It's far from that, Sister," he told her, "But I understand what you're doing. We all do." He paused. "I would've done the same if it was her or you." His words meant a lot to her. Perhaps more than she was able to fully articulate but she knew her brother would understand. She gave him a small smile.
"Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" She asked.
"I've had enough sleep. It's your turn. We'll leave when first dawn breaks."
True to his word, Carver had everyone pack and no one complained. Lily wondered how much had she missed being away with Fenris. She could clearly see that all of them looked to her baby brother as their leader. It would take two days to get to Minrathous. It was two days too long if you asked her. When the second day arrived, they could see the highest point of the oldest city in Thedas, their Circle of Magi tower. Around the city giant walls had been built. The dark brick and design made her think of Kirkwall. Lined along the bottom of the city's walls were what seemed to be inactive golems. People said that in Minrathous's prime, the city glistened in the sunlight. Now, it seemed that the dull and decay of a dying city had gray its former glory.
As she looked upon the capital of the Imperium, her hands shook. Her knees buckled. Steady hands guided her. She could almost feel him near her, if that was possible. She turned her head to look at Aveline. The Captain gave her a small smile accompanied with a nod. Lily returned the gesture and they ventured through the gates of Minrathous with Varric and Anders in tow. She glanced back where she knew Carver and the others were. They would arrive shortly after them. They were dressed in Tevinter clothing to be mistaken as Imperium refugees fleeing the cities conquered by the Qunari.
She didn't have a sense of victory until they were allowed to pass through thanks to a little story weaved from the depths of Varric's never ending imagination. Once they were inside, Lily watched as people passed by them. The city was overrun, crowded… It was like Kirkwall after the Blight. She realized that not everyone was a mage. She remembered when Fenris told her that not everyone was a mage but the magisters never hesitated to collar their own kind. They all had to keep their wits about them, that was obvious. Once of the guards stopped them. "State your purpose," he ordered.
"We're refugees," Aveline told him. She was the most experienced with handling guards but the pain in her voice made the situation all too familiar. It was the same tone she took when they first stepped off the boat in Kirkwalls docks. "We come from Qarinus," she told him, "We spotted Qunair and wished to seek refuge in the capital." Way to go Aveline. "My companion here is weary from the travel, having lost her family. Is there a place I can take her?"
The guard looked from Aveline to Lily then to Anders and Varric. "Very well," he started, "The tavern is full but find a place and it shall be yours." We won't be there long enough to stake a claim, Lily thought to herself.
"Thank you," they all told the guard. The man dipped his head in response and made a motion for them to leave.
"Where do you think he is?" Lily asked.
"They're here alright," Anders replied, "Any magister in the Imperium houses in Minrathous."
"I'll see if I can make anyone loosen their tongues at the tavern," Varric spoke up, "I'll meet you lot later."
"You shouldn't go alone," Aveline scolded the dwarf, who just smiled at him.
"I'm not," he said before he tugged at Anders's arm. "Let's go, Sparklefingers."
"You know…you're not the first dwarf to call me that."
Somewhere in the city…
Fenris cringed and let out a small groan as he opened his eyes. He knew he was bound for darkness but he wasn't aware of the mocking capability that it had. He did not know how long he had been there. Days had passed, maybe even weeks or months. Who knew? He had certainly lost count. He thought of the smell of the sea, the flowery scent that he had grown accustomed to, and the soft skin that he had missed. His tongue ran slowly over his lower lip. He winced feeling the cracks caused by the dryness. He was thirsty. Danarius had continued his old ways of trying to break him. It wasn't going to work but in his mind questions still plagued him. What was the mage up to? What was his angle in the little game he was playing?
He would not allow regret to come to him. He knew the choice he made was the right one if it meant sparing her life. How would things be different if he had managed to convince her to stay in the city? Her brother would have been in a calling distance. Aveline would barge through any intruder. Varric would have Bianca ready and focused. Isabela would have been around. Sebastian's arrow would have been trained on any intruder if his aide was called. Even Merrill and… Anders would have had their backs. It was too late to think of that now.
He sat up slowly. His body ached. A single window in the shape of a tiny rectangle was in the room and offered little light. Fenris wondered if he could have escaped through it. He could have ripped off the bars. Could phase his entire body through the wall? Oh. He had tried. It wasn't possible. The window had a magical barricade that he could not strike through. His… master had taken extra precautions to make that he wouldn't escape this time. He was trapped, like a caged animal.
A familiar cackle vibrated through the door of his prison. Hadriana. "Your master wishes to have his pet brought out to him, step aside," he heard. It wasn't until moments later that the door opened. Fenris braced himself. The first guard that stepped through, Fenris used the powers that the lyrium gave him to tear out the heart of the poor man. He threw the still beating thing in Hadriana's face. With a whip of her staff, he was on his knees. "It is nice to see you still have your spirit, Fenris," she said. Her blue eyes watched him before she snaked around the room in a circle around his froze body. Blood magic. He did not want to succumb but his will was broken. "It is still foreign to me why you agreed to come back." She stopped in front of him and knelt down. "Love is just a distraction, one that brought you back to those who you ran so quickly from. Where is love now? Hm? Will it save you, Fenris?" Her voice had become a dry whisper. "It is nice to have my play thing back. I will have my fun when the master is done with you." Her fingers cupped his chin. "Do cheer up. You're being such a drag." She laughed again. "Come. Master is waiting."