Author's note: Part two of our two-shot collab, stress-baking Saitō crackfic. Enjoy!
(As noted before, check out my partner in crime, Sabina-san. You can also find her on tumblr as sabinasanfanfic or as Sabinasan on AO3.)
"I leave this task up to you, Yamazaki-kun. Hopefully you will not encounter any difficulty."
Yamazaki slipped through the shadows, taking care to balance the parcel while still remaining inconspicuous. His eyes remained on a few of Itou's men walking through the area, hoping they wouldn't notice slight movement in the darkness. As he made a clean break from the compound, Yamazaki breathed a sigh of relief. That had been too close, though thankfully he had not been caught by any Guardians of the Imperial Tomb.
Returning swiftly to Nishi-Honganji temple, he headed directly for Hijikata's room. Though well past sundown, he had no doubt the vice commander would still be working.
"Fukuchō? I have something—" Before he could finish, Hijikata interrupted, ordering him inside.
Saitō heaved a sigh of relief and wiped crumbs into the trash as Heisuke popped into the kitchen.
"Hey! Hajime-kun! What're you…" Heisuke trailed off, and his teal-colored eyes widened. "Whoa, are those cupcakes? Yoshi!"
Without waiting for Saitō's response, Heisuke snatched one of the frosting-laden confections, this one dark chocolate and strawberry, shoving nearly the whole thing in his mouth.
Saitō closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, before opening his eyes and shaking his head in amused exasperation. "Heisuke. Not only is it inadvisable to eat an entire cupcake in one bite, but it also is hardly complimentary to the cook."
"Mmm… Sorry, 'ime-kun, is jus' so delicious…mmmm." Heisuke attempted to chew and apologize simultaneously, mostly succeeding in getting crumbs everywhere.
While Saitō had told Heisuke that cramming whole baked goods wasn't high praise to the cook, he couldn't deny the wave of self-satisfied accomplishment that washed over him as he watched Heisuke devour the remaining half, followed by a second cupcake. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced since joining Itou's faction. When Heisuke's eyes rolled back into his head, and he gave a long contented sigh while licking creamy frosting off his fingers, Saitō's lips twitched in a brief smile, and the happiness he felt was genuine. If short lived…
"Ne, Hajime-kun? Where's the rest of 'em? Usually you make a couple dozen, but there's only six or seven here. Uh, or there were till I ate two of them." He laughed sheepishly.
Saitō flicked his eyes to the trashcan. "Unfortunately, this oven does not cook evenly, and several of the others were burned. It was inconvenient, but I had to throw most of them away." He picked up the trash and moved toward the door. "If you'll excuse me."
He hurried out the door before Heisuke could get the opportunity to look at the trash, for he surely would've noticed a distinct lack of burned cupcakes inside. Upon returning to the kitchen, Saitō found just one lonesome cupcake remaining, a simple yet elegant white cake with white buttercream frosting. Apparently, Heisuke had made off with the other four and vanished, likely to eat himself into a sugar-induced coma.
Just as well, Saitō thought. Though his stress level had sky-rocketed when he'd undertaken the espionage mission, he couldn't bring himself to bake for Itou and his men. Somehow it felt like betrayal…as though his culinary skills were for those of the Shinsengumi alone. Even now, after furtively baking a few favorites before Yamazaki's arrival, the guilt weighed heavily on him, his conscience berating him for using a foreign oven, a traitor's kitchen.
He sighed. I've no other choice. A sensation of dread coiled in his stomach. No more baking until I return to the Shinsengumi for good.
Hijikata read Saitō's note and promptly held it over a candle till nothing but ash remained.
As it burned, Yamazaki cleared his throat. "Fukuchō, my report…"
"To hell with your report! Is that what I think it is?" Hijikata gestured to the package Yamazaki still held.
Their fearsome vice commander had sent many men to die in battle, had ordered men to commit seppuku or become rasetsu. Yet here he was, trying as he might to hide it, looking akin to a child given a wrapped gift, his violet eyes sparkling with hopeful curiosity. Yamazaki coughed, stifling a laugh. He knew Hijikata had a weakness for any of Saitō's baking, but especially his cupcakes. Yamazaki couldn't contain it any further. He grinned widely.
"Hai, fukuchō. There're ten of Saitō-san's cupcakes… It would appear he sent one for each of us."
Hijikata's trademark frown relaxed, and he licked his lips unconsciously. Again, Yamazaki choked back the urge to laugh. Saitō's cupcakes were a definite Achilles' heel for the oni no fukuchō. Thank the gods Saitō-san isn't actually the enemy. He imagined a special corps, armed with Saitō's cupcakes. We'd be screwed. With his free hand, Yamazaki massaged his temples. Damnit, I sound like Souji… I need more sleep.
Yamazaki set the package on Hijikata's desk, taking care not to disrupt any of the papers scattered across it. It wouldn't do to destroy the good mood Saitō's cupcakes instilled in him. Hijikata lifted the lid, revealing the frosted ambrosia within. He and Yamazaki both inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell of warm, freshly made cake and rich, sugary icing.
Yamazaki knew what Hijikata would claim—one of the pink-topped white cupcakes with a luscious strawberry filling. He also knew Souji would kill someone over the pumpkin-spice cake with its silky cream cheese frosting, and Sanosuke would also go for cream cheese frosting, but preferred his layered atop a scrumptious red velvet treat. Chizuru, like Hijikata, favored the light fruitiness of the strawberry-filled cupcake. Kondō and Gen-san were happy to savor whatever flavorful varieties Saitō dreamt up, though both agreed that anything involving caramel was blissful. Shinpachi, their resident garbage disposal, would eat whatever was available, much like Heisuke would have. Yamazaki sighed, but his wayward thoughts were interrupted.
"Yamazaki. Go get Kondō-san, Chizuru, and the captains, and then take that pumpkin one to Souji," Hijikata said, carefully lifting the aforementioned golden-brown cake and handing it to Yamazaki.
"I'll take care of it," Yamazaki said promptly.
"Oh, and Yamazaki? Let's just say you made them, since we can hardly have them knowing about Saitō's mission. Clear?" Hijikata's tone brooked no argument, not that Yamazaki would have anyway.
He swallowed uncomfortably, nodded, and then left Hijikata's room soundlessly and disappeared into the night. After sending the requested parties to Hijikata's room, Yamazaki quietly slid the door open to Souji's room. It was dark, lit primarily by the dim moonlight, but he was accustomed to seeing in the dark. One could hardly be an effective shinobi without adapting to darkness, after all. He had no intention of engaging with Souji, hoping simply to set the fragrant cupcake on his desk and leave. However…
"You're slipping, Yamazaki-kun, if you didn't notice that I was awake."
The room brightened fractionally, and Yamazaki turned to see Souji sitting up, the paper lantern near him hinged open to allow for more light.
Irritated at both being discovered and having to actually interact with one of his least favorite people, Yamazaki frowned and thrust the confection at Souji. "Here. I, uh, made some…" Mentally, he cursed Hijikata. Why couldn't he have just laid the blame on Chizuru? Kondō-san already thinks that's who makes them…
"Ohhhh?" Souji arched an eyebrow at Yamazaki, clearly skeptical. "What a good little protégé you are. I'm sure Hajime-kun would be proud."
Souji took a delicate bite of the cupcake, careful not to waste a single morsel. Yamazaki edged toward the door, hoping to escape further conversation while Souji chewed.
"Ne, Yamazaki-kun?"
Damnit! He didn't bother turning around, just waited for whatever snide comment Souji had.
"It's surprisingly good, the pumpkin and spice flavors balanced well. And the candied lemon peel sprinkled on the cream cheese frosting was a nice touch."
At the compliment, Yamazaki's mouth fell open, and he whirled around to regard the young captain. He felt guilty, taking credit for Saitō's work, but he was positively shocked that Souji would be so…nice.
"Ah…arigatō, Okita-san."
Souji's feverishly bright green eyes narrowed into slits, and a feline grin spread across his face. "Except… There's not any candied lemon peel on top—it's candied ginger. Which you would have known if you'd made them."
Again, he cursed Hijikata and briefly contemplated making a vice commander effigy to drive spikes into. Souji was too perceptive for his own good sometimes.
"Oh, Okita-san, my apologies. I must've mistaken which one you referred to." Yamazaki schooled his features into a neutral expression, spun on his heel, and briskly walked away before Souji could interrogate him further.
In his room, Souji devoured what remained of the moist pumpkin-spice cupcake, savoring the hints of nutmeg and cinnamon and licking bits of sugary ginger mixed with frosting off of his fingertips.
Then, to no one in particular, he remarked, "Miss us, eh, Hajime-kun?" and gave a bark of laughter.
Yamazaki returned to Hijikata's room just in time to see Sanosuke smack Shinpachi upside the head. He was glad to have quit Souji's room, but now he wasn't so sure he wanted to stick around for the antics of two of the three bakatrio.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Shinpachi? Touch my cupcake again, and I'll give you a scar to match mine!" Sano snapped, though his tone held no heat.
Shinpachi laughed. "Maa, maa, Sano. Worth a try!" Then he eyed the lone cupcake on Hijikata's desk, a devil's food cake with dark chocolate frosting.
"Don't even think about it, Shinpachi," Hijikata warned. "That's for Sannan-san."
Sanosuke leaned towards his friend and whispered conspiratorially, "That's what Hijikata-san wants us to believe, but we all know he's going to eat it when we leave."
"Nani?" Hijikata's violet eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Ahh, Toshi, we appreciate you hosting us so late for this treat. And Chizuru-chan, thank you for baking them!" Kondō smiled sunnily at the girl, who looked both confused and worried.
"Anou…Kondō-san…" she began.
"Chizuru, go fix some tea," Hijikata cut her off, preventing any further discussion of who exactly made the cupcakes.
She nodded and spirited away to the fix their tea. Hijikata sighed and looked around the room to watch his fellow Shinsengumi enjoy their cupcakes. The joy in the room was infectious, and Hijikata smiled a little in relief. Things had been so tense since Heisuke and Saitō had left, and he was glad that this rift was seemingly forgotten for a short time. Unfortunately, the happiness was tempered by his knowledge that Itou was planning something big against them. He sighed and decided to dig into his own cupcake. As sweet cake gave way to a gush of tart filling, Hijikata decided then and there that Saitō needed to return as soon as possible. Going months without his cupcakes was pure torture, though Hijikata did miss Saitō's quiet loyalty and willingness to carry out the most difficult of Hijikata's orders.
Hijikata peered over at Kondō, who was joking with Harada and Nagakura. His booming laugh filled the room, and Hijikata's resolve was strengthened. This man would be protected at all costs. He nodded his head towards Yamazaki, who snuck across the room without anyone noticing. As Hijikata licked the last of the crumbs from his fingers, he leaned toward Yamazaki.
"Bring him home immediately."
"Hai, fukuchō."
A week later, Saitō returned to Nishi-Honganji Temple. He came without anyone noticing as Harada and Nagakura were out on patrol, and Kondō was completing his usual duties as commander. Saitō went to his chamber to set his swords down before making his way to Hijikata's room. When he arrived, he kneeled at the door and called out loud enough for Hijikata to hear but quiet enough to not have it resonate throughout the area.
"Excuse me."
"Come in," Hijikata replied.
Saitō opened the shoji and slid into the room. He bowed to Hijikata before he closed the shoji behind him. He noticed that Hijikata looked happy to see him, and this calmed some of the roiling emotions within Saitō.
"Welcome back, Saitō," Hijikata said warmly. He really had missed the third division captain, cupcakes notwithstanding.
"It is good to be back, fukuchō, even if the circumstances are dire," Saitō said quietly.
"Yes, well, without your efforts, we would not know what that snake was planning. Now we can make every effort to protect Kondō-san and finally be rid of that traitor asshole Itou." Hijikata's praise was laced with irritation, but it was directed at Itou, not Saitō.
A cough sounded from behind them, and they turned to see Souji leaning against the wall. "Get tired of your little spy mission, Hajime-kun?" Souji winked playfully, but Saitō could tell the man was not well. There were dark circles under his eyes, he was frightfully pale, and he'd clearly lost weight.
"Damnit, Souji! What the hell are you doing out of bed?" Hijikata said, glaring at the younger man.
Saitō could tell that under Hijikata's irritation was a sense of worry. And in his opinion, Hijikata had every right to be. Souji looked even worse than before, and he found himself wondering how long Souji would have to live. That thought was followed shortly by pity that Souji was being robbed of an honorable death through this insidious disease.
Saitō nodded in agreement. "Hijikata-san is right, Souji. You should rest."
Souji looked upset at Saitō for siding with Hijikata. "I rest enough as it is," Souji complained bitterly. Then he smirked, emerald eyes twinkling mischievously. "I had a feeling you would be back, Hajime-kun, so I took the liberty of cleaning your oven for you. In fact, why don't I go preheat it for you?"
Saitō clenched his jaw and frowned, hostility rolling off of him in palpable waves. "Souji…" he began, his voice a low growl.
"Souji, no!" Hijikata exclaimed, surprised the younger man would be so brazen in his weakened state.
Souji merely chuckled and scampered off, Saitō hot on his heels.
Without anyone to hear him, Hijikata said to himself, "Souji, yes!" and grinned, thinking of the cupcakes that Saitō would have to bake to relieve himself of this stressor.