"Dammit, Anya," Xander yelled, storming into the Magic Box, "What the hell were you thinking?"
He stopped abruptly when he realized that not only was Anya staring at him with her mouth gaping open, but so were Giles and Buffy. He shifted uneasily from foot to foot, not knowing how to fill the silence.
After a moment, Buffy smiled awkwardly and looked at Giles. "I have to go home. Dawn should be home soon. I should go check on Dawn. Do you have to go home?"
"Ah, yes," he replied, darting looks between her and Anya and Xander. "I'll go with you. Help you... Check on Dawn."
"That sister of mine needs a lot of checking," Buffy agreed as she and Giles hurried out of the store.
When they were gone, Anya glared at Xander. "*What* was that all about?" she
demanded.
"You talked to *Tara* about this?" he countered.
She looked hurt. "You told me to."
"I did not!"
"Well, you brought her up," Anya amended, looking only slightly abashed. "Anyway, you said you'd talk to Willow and since you mentioned the Tara thing when she came in this afternoon, I just talked with her. At least *she* didn't yell at me. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal," Xander growled, "Is that you shouldn't be messing with people's lives like this. And I don't like being passed around. How would you feel if I said that you should sleep with someone else a few months before we get married, just to ease my mind?! I'm your fiance, not your toy." He paused. "Well, mostly not."
She walked haltingly over to him and put her hand against his cheek. "There's no one in my past that you should ever have reason to be jealous of. I'm trying to do the right thing. I want this, Xander. I think it's right for you, for us."
He exhaled as he looked into her eyes. She was still beautiful. Probably legally psychotic and should be put away somewhere, but beautiful. He suddenly wished he didn't love her so much. "Well, what about what's right for me and Willow? Don't you know that this could destroy our friendship? Smaller things have destroyed longer friendships, and I don't want that to happen to us. I've known her since I was three. That's a long time. Are you asking me to throw that away?"
"No!" she cried softly, looking hard at him. "If anything, I think it might make you guys closer. Which is okay with me. You *have* been friends a long time, and I wouldn't ever want to put that in jeopardy. I love you too much. I even like Willow a lot. But because you've been friends for so long, there's this history of sexual tension between you. I don't want it to explode into adultery after we're married."
"It wouldn't." His denial came out pleading.
"Maybe not," she agreed, "But you'd always wonder. You wonder right now, what it would be like, to be with her that way. And say one day you and I are fighting, ten years in the future, and she and Tara are fighting. Say you guys comfort each other and one thing leads to another and then you both end up feeling guilty for life and I end up brokenhearted. I don't want you to break my heart. I don't even want that possibility in my life. And if you don't do this, the possibility will always be there for me. I'll never feel entirely safe."
Xander floundered for a second, no reasonable arguments coming to mind. Finally he settled on, "You shouldn't have talked to Tara."
"Well, she was here," Anya defended, biting her lip. "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have. But I did. I'm sorry."
Xander leaned down and kissed her briefly, feeling the flare inside him as he did, as always happened when he was around her. "I wish I knew what to do with you."
"Love me. Marry me," she said quietly and kissed him back, longer this time. Her hands slipped through his hair, holding him tightly to her and when they pulled away, she looked back into his eyes. "But first, just have sex with your best friend."
He groaned. "I knew the whole, 'love me, marry me' thing was too good to be all there was to it."
* * * * * *
"Calm down, Willow," Tara said practically. "I'm not asking you to do it. You don't have to if you don't want to. All I'm saying is that as weird as it seems and as out-of-it as Anya may be, it makes a certain kind of sense."
"It makes no sense!" Willow looked at Tara in exasperation. "Not Anya asking Xander, not her talking about it to you, not you thinking about it for a second. None of it! It's nonsensical!"
Tara's mouth curved up sweetly as she watched Willow rant. "You're so cute when you get upset, did you know that?"
Willow's shoulders sagged. "Does this mean you agree with me?"
"Sort of."
"Sort of?!"
"Well..." the blond witch shrugged. "I've already told you what I think about this. You have Xander are a part of each other's lives, and that's all right with me. Xander's wonderful. If I'd had to, I couldn't have picked a better friend for you than him; you guys match in that respect. I just think that maybe you're curious. It'd be nice to not ever have to worry about you deciding to sleep with him behind my back just to satisfy that curiosity. If it gets satisfied now, before he gets married, then great."
Willow choked off the scream that was rising in her throat. "Has everyone in this town gone absolutely nuts?!" She looked at her girlfriend. "You're saying you wouldn't be jealous, is that it?" she demanded sarcastically.
"You know, you'd think I would be, but it hasn't given me a moment's pause," Tara said, amused. "No offense. It's just that I trust you and love you and when Anya explained it to me, I could sort of see it in my head... Well, not see the actual... But see the effect, anyway. It could be good for all of us, Sweetie."
"That's it. I think you've lost your mind. I can't believe this is happening. Maybe someone did a spell on you guys. Xander and I seem to be the only ones with a shred of sanity in this whole damn situation," Willow muttered.
"Oh, by the way, I'm leaving for my cousin's wedding tonight," Tara reminded her, "In case you'd forgotten. I'm sorry you can't come."
"Yeah, well I can't miss classes," Willow said grumpily. "When will you be home?"
"Three days." Tara smiled. "So, while I'm gone, if you decide to go through with this, just know that it's okay with me. You have my blessing."
She went upstairs to pack, leaving Willow staring after her. When she heard their door shut, Willow clenched her hands and shut her eyes and finally let out the frustrated scream that had been dwelling in her lungs since all of this began. It felt pretty satisfying, until she turned around.
Her eyes widened. "Hi, Giles. Hi, Buffy."
They stood in the open doorway silently. Giles looked uncomfortable and Buffy looked severely curious. Giles cleared his throat. "I think I'm hungry. Buffy, would you like to come with me to get some dinner?"
"Hell no!" she whispered back, "We missed out on what was going on with Xander and Anya, I'm not missing this too!" In her normal voice, she said, "No thanks. I'll find something here."
Giles huffed for a moment and then left.
Willow rolled her eyes. "You were standing two feet away from me. I could hear you whisper."
"Oh." Buffy nodded, unashamed. "So what's going on? It sounds like you've
been having an interesting day."
"Interesting doesn't cover it," Willow mumbled, walking over to the couch and
tossing herself down on it. She threw an arm over her eyes. "Anya wants Xander and I to sleep together before the wedding so we'll 'get it out of our systems,' I don't want to, Xander doesn't want to, and to make matters even worse, now Tara seems to think it's an okay idea," she summed up quickly.
"Wow," Buffy said softly. "This is better than a soap opera. Um, which I never watch, of course."
Willow shot her a tiny grin. "Of course."
"So what are you going to do?" Buffy ventured.
"What am I going to do? What am I going to do?!" Willow threw her hands up
helplessly. "What can I do? I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to sit here and wait until this whole thing blows over and we're back doing normal things, like fighting the forces of darkness. God, I'd take a vampire invasion over something like this any day."
"Well, sure you would," Buffy smirked. "But come on, you can't tell me that you're not even the littlest bit--"
"If you say curious," Willow broke in with a flat voice, "I will never talk to you again, I swear."
"Fine. I won't then. But you can't tell me you're not."
"Buffy!"
Buffy grinned. "I'm just saying."
He stopped abruptly when he realized that not only was Anya staring at him with her mouth gaping open, but so were Giles and Buffy. He shifted uneasily from foot to foot, not knowing how to fill the silence.
After a moment, Buffy smiled awkwardly and looked at Giles. "I have to go home. Dawn should be home soon. I should go check on Dawn. Do you have to go home?"
"Ah, yes," he replied, darting looks between her and Anya and Xander. "I'll go with you. Help you... Check on Dawn."
"That sister of mine needs a lot of checking," Buffy agreed as she and Giles hurried out of the store.
When they were gone, Anya glared at Xander. "*What* was that all about?" she
demanded.
"You talked to *Tara* about this?" he countered.
She looked hurt. "You told me to."
"I did not!"
"Well, you brought her up," Anya amended, looking only slightly abashed. "Anyway, you said you'd talk to Willow and since you mentioned the Tara thing when she came in this afternoon, I just talked with her. At least *she* didn't yell at me. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal," Xander growled, "Is that you shouldn't be messing with people's lives like this. And I don't like being passed around. How would you feel if I said that you should sleep with someone else a few months before we get married, just to ease my mind?! I'm your fiance, not your toy." He paused. "Well, mostly not."
She walked haltingly over to him and put her hand against his cheek. "There's no one in my past that you should ever have reason to be jealous of. I'm trying to do the right thing. I want this, Xander. I think it's right for you, for us."
He exhaled as he looked into her eyes. She was still beautiful. Probably legally psychotic and should be put away somewhere, but beautiful. He suddenly wished he didn't love her so much. "Well, what about what's right for me and Willow? Don't you know that this could destroy our friendship? Smaller things have destroyed longer friendships, and I don't want that to happen to us. I've known her since I was three. That's a long time. Are you asking me to throw that away?"
"No!" she cried softly, looking hard at him. "If anything, I think it might make you guys closer. Which is okay with me. You *have* been friends a long time, and I wouldn't ever want to put that in jeopardy. I love you too much. I even like Willow a lot. But because you've been friends for so long, there's this history of sexual tension between you. I don't want it to explode into adultery after we're married."
"It wouldn't." His denial came out pleading.
"Maybe not," she agreed, "But you'd always wonder. You wonder right now, what it would be like, to be with her that way. And say one day you and I are fighting, ten years in the future, and she and Tara are fighting. Say you guys comfort each other and one thing leads to another and then you both end up feeling guilty for life and I end up brokenhearted. I don't want you to break my heart. I don't even want that possibility in my life. And if you don't do this, the possibility will always be there for me. I'll never feel entirely safe."
Xander floundered for a second, no reasonable arguments coming to mind. Finally he settled on, "You shouldn't have talked to Tara."
"Well, she was here," Anya defended, biting her lip. "Okay, maybe I shouldn't have. But I did. I'm sorry."
Xander leaned down and kissed her briefly, feeling the flare inside him as he did, as always happened when he was around her. "I wish I knew what to do with you."
"Love me. Marry me," she said quietly and kissed him back, longer this time. Her hands slipped through his hair, holding him tightly to her and when they pulled away, she looked back into his eyes. "But first, just have sex with your best friend."
He groaned. "I knew the whole, 'love me, marry me' thing was too good to be all there was to it."
* * * * * *
"Calm down, Willow," Tara said practically. "I'm not asking you to do it. You don't have to if you don't want to. All I'm saying is that as weird as it seems and as out-of-it as Anya may be, it makes a certain kind of sense."
"It makes no sense!" Willow looked at Tara in exasperation. "Not Anya asking Xander, not her talking about it to you, not you thinking about it for a second. None of it! It's nonsensical!"
Tara's mouth curved up sweetly as she watched Willow rant. "You're so cute when you get upset, did you know that?"
Willow's shoulders sagged. "Does this mean you agree with me?"
"Sort of."
"Sort of?!"
"Well..." the blond witch shrugged. "I've already told you what I think about this. You have Xander are a part of each other's lives, and that's all right with me. Xander's wonderful. If I'd had to, I couldn't have picked a better friend for you than him; you guys match in that respect. I just think that maybe you're curious. It'd be nice to not ever have to worry about you deciding to sleep with him behind my back just to satisfy that curiosity. If it gets satisfied now, before he gets married, then great."
Willow choked off the scream that was rising in her throat. "Has everyone in this town gone absolutely nuts?!" She looked at her girlfriend. "You're saying you wouldn't be jealous, is that it?" she demanded sarcastically.
"You know, you'd think I would be, but it hasn't given me a moment's pause," Tara said, amused. "No offense. It's just that I trust you and love you and when Anya explained it to me, I could sort of see it in my head... Well, not see the actual... But see the effect, anyway. It could be good for all of us, Sweetie."
"That's it. I think you've lost your mind. I can't believe this is happening. Maybe someone did a spell on you guys. Xander and I seem to be the only ones with a shred of sanity in this whole damn situation," Willow muttered.
"Oh, by the way, I'm leaving for my cousin's wedding tonight," Tara reminded her, "In case you'd forgotten. I'm sorry you can't come."
"Yeah, well I can't miss classes," Willow said grumpily. "When will you be home?"
"Three days." Tara smiled. "So, while I'm gone, if you decide to go through with this, just know that it's okay with me. You have my blessing."
She went upstairs to pack, leaving Willow staring after her. When she heard their door shut, Willow clenched her hands and shut her eyes and finally let out the frustrated scream that had been dwelling in her lungs since all of this began. It felt pretty satisfying, until she turned around.
Her eyes widened. "Hi, Giles. Hi, Buffy."
They stood in the open doorway silently. Giles looked uncomfortable and Buffy looked severely curious. Giles cleared his throat. "I think I'm hungry. Buffy, would you like to come with me to get some dinner?"
"Hell no!" she whispered back, "We missed out on what was going on with Xander and Anya, I'm not missing this too!" In her normal voice, she said, "No thanks. I'll find something here."
Giles huffed for a moment and then left.
Willow rolled her eyes. "You were standing two feet away from me. I could hear you whisper."
"Oh." Buffy nodded, unashamed. "So what's going on? It sounds like you've
been having an interesting day."
"Interesting doesn't cover it," Willow mumbled, walking over to the couch and
tossing herself down on it. She threw an arm over her eyes. "Anya wants Xander and I to sleep together before the wedding so we'll 'get it out of our systems,' I don't want to, Xander doesn't want to, and to make matters even worse, now Tara seems to think it's an okay idea," she summed up quickly.
"Wow," Buffy said softly. "This is better than a soap opera. Um, which I never watch, of course."
Willow shot her a tiny grin. "Of course."
"So what are you going to do?" Buffy ventured.
"What am I going to do? What am I going to do?!" Willow threw her hands up
helplessly. "What can I do? I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to sit here and wait until this whole thing blows over and we're back doing normal things, like fighting the forces of darkness. God, I'd take a vampire invasion over something like this any day."
"Well, sure you would," Buffy smirked. "But come on, you can't tell me that you're not even the littlest bit--"
"If you say curious," Willow broke in with a flat voice, "I will never talk to you again, I swear."
"Fine. I won't then. But you can't tell me you're not."
"Buffy!"
Buffy grinned. "I'm just saying."