Day 2: Over the Rainbow

Is this what like looks like over the rainbow? Or are there more rainbows we have to go over and past?

Sometimes I think happiness is unattainable. Something we're meant to pursue, but never really reach.

It must be weird for me to think this; I mean, growing up, I was sure I had it all. That a life as as mine could easily fill any emptiness my heart felt.

But I guess I was wrong. I guess those cliché stories about Princesses finding love wasn't a complete lie.

I needed love. After all, Helga does call me "Princess".

A few years ago, I tried to fill this part of my heart with the most popular kid in school. His name was Brad and he was a senior on the winning football team.

We went out a few times, then he invited me to prom. I had to go. My reputation and potential Prince were circling this idea. So I went to prom (after finding this fabulous red dress). Brad parked outside the hotel where the dance was held and stopped the car.

He looked me over, and purred, At first, I was flattered. A senior looking at me, a sophomore with passion was definitely something to look forward too telling the girls on Monday.

Brad unbuckled his seatbelt and kissed me hungrily. He was practically eating my lips! I kept my eyes open, surprised at his ferocity, but eventually kissed back.

I pulled away to get some air, unsure of how far he was thinking of taking this.

"Brad," I said. He moved his body on mine and attached his lips to my neck.

"Brad. Stop. We have to go inside," I said, trying to push him off me. He pushed my shoulders to the seat, trapping me under him.

"In a minute," he said as he recaptured my lips and slid his hands around me.

At that moment, I knew exactly where he wanted to take this. I closed my eyes, cursing love and what it led me to.

That was, until, My Knight came to my rescue.

I heard the car door open.

"Get off her!" My Knight yelled, as he pulled Brad off me.

"The hell is your problem?" Brad complained.

"You. When a girl says no, its no," My Knight said

I opened my eyes in time to see Brad throw a swing, miss, and my savior punch him to the floor, knocking him unconscious.

Then, My Knight came to my door and gave me his hand. I took it, gently, and got out of the car to see my face reflected in his glasses.

"You okay?" he asked, in a calmer, gentler tone.

I jumped into his embrace.

"Thanks Curly," I said, with a shaking confidence.

"Call me Thaddeus," he said.

That's the moment I fell for him.

After this, we had good times together. The memories we shared are flickering pictures of us smiling in different location and poses in my head.

We were perfect together. But I guess perfection doesn't last long. Especially if you don't start that way.

I still don't know what drove him to decide that...I mean, I knew we'd get separated after High School, but why did he have to sigh up? And why'd he have to leave the week after graduation?

You see...A few weeks ago...Thaddeus signed up for the Army. He was being called to duty as soon as his basic training was finished. His basic training started a week after graduation. And today, was prom night, a week before graduation.

When he broke the news to me, it drove me insane. I couldn't think clearly, and I didn't want to. Thinking clearly meant dealing with things I wanted to ignore.

That was the second time I cursed love and what it did to me.

But earlier tonight, I finally confronted him about it.

"You're leaving for basic training soon," I said, trying to seem indifferent. The truth was, this statement was tearing me to seams of nothing.

"I know I am," he quietly responded, keeping his eyes on the road.

We arrived at the dance and I didn't speak to him for an hour. We left early, both wanting and not wanting the night to end. I drove my car back, and kept my eyes on the road.

The silence was killing me, so I turned on the radio, hoping to distract my thoughts. But the music, too, was focusing me on the situation at hand.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked from frustration instead of curiosity.

"I'm not doing anything. This is what's best. For me. For You. For us," he told me, while patting my shoulder.

I felt tears come from my eyes and soon heard myself begin to shout. I then heard him shout back.

But all I could do was keep my eyes on the road ahead, and saw an approaching curve.

One that will tear us apart, I thought, sadly.

Only then did I realize I found an answer to my problem. I clutched the steering wheel in my hands and felt as if I were in my own personal world. I could vaguely hear him speak my name.

I closed my eyes, in anticipation of what was to come, and thought about our time together. Maybe this is what life is like, over the rainbow.