Now the fun really begins! Be forewarned absolutely nothing and absolutely no-one is safe from Alucards wrath. There will be abominable violence, political incorrectness and other fun stuff throughout, but then why would you be here right now if you didn't like those things? Anyway enjoy!

Enemy 1: Finding a Home

Alucard wandered down a calm street, studying the houses. A question arose in the back of his mind as he stopped before a lovely home near the end of the street.

Why do I need money for a house? None of these have price tags...

Alucard approached the house and knocked on the door. He waited ten minutes before deciding it was empty and therefore 'up for sale'. After carefully smashing the side window into a million tiny pieces he climbed inside.

"This is perfect...And it didn't cost me anything." A wicked grin crossed his face. Buying a house was easy! Complicated rental market my ass!

The house was two storeys but still rather small and comfy. The windows were large and would have let in a lot of sunlight but thankfully large billowing curtains blocked it out. The house was well furnished and the fridge and cupboards were all stocked full of food. There was one problem though...

"Why are there family photos here?" Alucard picked up a wedding photo of two strangers. He thought about it for a moment and then smiled. "Oh, they are just display photos." The wise vampire removed the back of the frame and threw the wedding photo aside, sliding in one of him as a decomposing corpse. "Ah, my twenty-first birthday...So fun."

When the memories subsided Alucard moved down the rows of photographs, replacing the stock images with his own. There were some with him holding severed heads, some with him standing over corpses, some of him merely rotting in a cell in the Hellsing Organisation's dungeons and then some of him with Lady Integra and Seras.

Ah, the police girl. I wonder where she is now...How I always wanted to mould her into the greatest monster to ever exist...And she wasn't that bad to look at...

"Harry! We're home!"

"Daddy! Daddy!"

"Dad!"

A sickening chorus of unwanted sounds drifted in from the front room. Alucard froze. "Oh shit!" He whispered harshly. "There are other buyers!" A hundred points there. "Well, I was here first! This house is mine!"

As Alucard had learned, every situation in life could be solved through bloodshed. He grabbed his trusted Jackal and headed out to greet the other potential buyers. He discovered a middle aged woman and two children getting settled in as if they owned the place. How absurd!

"What are you people doing here?" Alucard snarled.

They all screamed in response. "Who are you?"

"Where is daddy?"

Alucard rolled his eyes. "This is my home. Get out or I will have to 'persuade' you to leave." his voice dripped with menace.

The woman took something out of her pocket and aimed it at his face. She sprayed a full can of mace into Alucard's eyes and the vampire merely laughed.

"An exotic scent. Very well, if you wish to fight for this place then I shall fight!" Alucard's skin split apart and black tendrils of shadow erupted forth until it covered his figure. Demonic eyes opened all over his body and fanged jaws sprouted from all over.

The enemy did not last. She vanished within the cavernous jaws and was never seen again. The children screamed and tried to run but Alucard's familiars were hungry now and no opponent was too small.

When the battle was over Alucard took their place, settling in. He tried to sit on the couch but there was something just not right about it. He sat on the coffee table only to receive the same problem. Next he went upstairs. He checked each room but found nothing, until he came to the last door at the end of the hall. He kicked the door in and discovered a study. Sitting in the far corner of the room was a gift from the gods...

Alucard chuckled monstrously and fiddled with his hands. "Aha...It even has a throne! This is truly my new home."

For several hours Alucard sat on his throne, now relocated to the living room a while until his stomach rumbled and he realised it was time for dinner. Usually someone else would cook for him, but now he was alone...

"Hmm, what am I supposed to have for dinner?"

A knock came at the door. "Honey, I'm home! I had to work late, sorry."

Alucard grinned devilishly. "Home delivered meals as well? How wonderful."