No one prepares you for that moment that you come to the end of that metal gate and they lock it behind you, instead of in front of you. I was terrified. I wanted to run back in. I wanted to commit another crime right in that instant and be put in handcuffs and hauled back inside. I felt safe in there, which in itself is a scary thought, but then again maybe it's not. It was my home for two years, and it was my life. It provided me with friends, food, stability and most of all, it's where I won her back.
I hear the sound of the gate locking and it startles me. I turn around. This is probably the moment when I should raise my hands to the sky and shout some phrase like "free at last" or some shit like that. I should be running around in circles, doing some crazy freedom dance…but I can't. ] I can't bring myself to celebrate right now, not when I look up into a third story window and see a certain blonde looking down at me. That same blonde that holds the keys to my heart.
I can see her smiling. She has always been my biggest supporter. No matter what I ever did, she always found a way to forgive me and then believe in me again. I don't think that I deserved to get her back, but I would be nothing without her. She is that one person that I could count on when things just became too much to bare. I don't know how I am going to survive for three fucking months without being able to hold her. Yes, I do know that I will be able to visit her, but one hug in and one hug out, is not enough for me.
We need each other. We need that closeness that we provided each other with for the years prior to prison and then the time we spent together inside as well. We have always thrived on the way we felt in each other's arms. That familiar spark that would ignite when we would brush each other's hand and that electricity that could light a room when our lips would touch. Our relationship is and always has been nothing short of amazing.
My thoughts and my line of sight is interrupted when Bennett walks me over to the prison van. I get in and get buckled up and listen to the sound of the engine roar when the ignition is turned over. I have no family besides Piper, and those girls in there, so getting a ride outside of the prison was not a possibility. I mean, I guess I could have called a cab but that shit is real scary and there are some fucked up people that drive those things.
So I get to ride out to the end of the street and start my journey alone.
At least this way I can spend a little bit more time with Morello.
"You okay Vause." I used to think her voice was so annoying, but then it just kind of grew on me.
"I'm going to miss her." I say with a blank stare. I just look out of the window and watch as the prison starts to become a little speck in the window.
"You'll be okay, she'll be home in no time."
Home…that place you go to at the end of the day. That same place that is supposed to take all of your fears away and then replace them with happy memories. I don't have one of those…at least not WITH me.
Piper was always home to me.
When we get to the end of the street I step out and walk over to the driver's side of the van.
"Keep your chin up Vause. You got lots to look forward to." She's right, and for the first time today I am able to smile.
Moments later I walk away. Leaving my life, my security, and my love.
I've been out for two weeks now. It's been horrible and rewarding all at the same time. The first week was the worst. I thought really hard about trying to find a heroin dealer just to take the edge off a little bit. The loneliness was almost too much to bare, I just wanted to escape it. Somehow a phone call from Piper came in right before I was going to make that real big error in judgment. I told her the truth. If I want to make things right, I cannot lie to her, not now…not ever again.
"Alex I'm proud of you." I cried for an hour after I got off of the phone with her.
She always knows the right thing to say. That fact that she was proud of me just makes me want to be even better of a person than I am striving for. She is certainly the better half of me.
The second week was better, although I have not been able to see her yet. She and Pensatucky had a little brawl in the chow hall and they both got their visits revoked. I did go back to the prison though, I got to be the first visitor to ever show up for Nicky. It made me feel good to go and surprise her like that.
"Al, your girl is cray cray." She says with what appears to be a toothpick in between her teeth.
"Boy do I know that." I smile, because yeah she is crazy. A special kind of crazy that I adore.
She laughs as she tells me the story of how Piper and "Tucky" got into a fight over who had better teeth. She didn't know too much of the details because her and Morello were in the showers "expressing their feelings" for each other when it went down, but ultimately rumor is that Piper waited until "Tucky" went to sleep and then took a Sharpie to every other one of her brand new pearly whites.
"She's lost without you." Nicky says matter of factly.
"I know the feeling." I tell her sadly.
Our visit ended quickly. They don't give you much time in here to talk, but I guess I should just be happy with the fact that I get time at all.
On my way out I talked to the shapely lady at the front desk and found out that Piper can have visitors again in a couple of weeks. I told them to let her know as soon as her privileges are restored that I would be waiting for her. They are not supposed to give any messages to inmates, but I knew by the look on her face that she would.
It was another week before I got a job. It was a rough search. Apparently no one wanted to employ a past smuggler for an international drug cartel. I knew I shouldn't have put that under the SKILLS section of my resume. But it was the truth, I was fucking good at it. The tattoo shop that I am now employed by found it pretty badass, and hired me on the spot. I am only an assistant, and this is not my preferred career choice, but it is an honest job.
I have never done what I consider "honest" work before. Mostly because I was recruited young by Kubra and his men, but also because real jobs have shitty pay. I'm working just above minimum wage, which is nothing like what I was used to bringing in every month, but I want to do this for Piper. This was part of my promise to her.
I also enrolled in online classes. I figured it would be nice to earn a diploma and maybe some professional degree afterwards. I didn't tell Piper my plans about returning to school. I just figure it will be a nice bonus…a newly reformed and intelligent Alexandra Vause.
Hmmm, that actually sounds pretty fucking badass. I think I am liking this new me already.
A couple days before I got a call that I could see Piper again, I got a home. A little rental on the outskirts of town with a little bit of land. It's not much, but it beats the shelter I had been staying in for the time between finding a job and having enough to pay first month's rent.
This home is nothing like the ritzy upscale loft that I had in Paris, but it is a place I can call home. The owner was nice enough to keep some of the furniture in the house, since they would be actually traveling abroad. There are parts of my old life that I really miss. My face sunk at the memories of the wonderful adventures that Piper and I used to have. I quickly recovered though when my phone rang.
"An inmate from Litchfield prison is attempting to reach you. Please press 1 to accept this call."
I press 1 immediately and a big smile comes across my face.
"Al, are you there?"
"Hi Pipes." I say happily and with the biggest smile that I have had in a while.
"Oh Al, I'm so sorry that I got my visits taken away, I just…"
"Piper, you have got to keep yourself out of trouble in there. I miss the fuck out of you." I hear her sigh.
"I miss you too Alex."
We talk for a couple of minutes before I heard the guards tell her that she needed to wrap it up. I decided not to tell her that I got a job and a home for us. I wanted to tell her at our visit in a couple of days.
When I heard the guards get on her a second time I started to get frustrated because I was not ready to let her go. I missed her voice.
"Tell those mother fucking bastards to shut the hell up." She laughs and then proceeds to tell them.
I almost peed my pants, hearing her actually say that to them. I am pretty sure she is probably talking to either Bennett or Healy. They are the only ones that would let her get away with any of that shit.
"Al I gotta go. Are you still coming on Saturday?"
"I'll be there with whips and chains."
"Oh God Al this is not the time to tease." She says, and I could actually hear her voice drop a couple of octaves.
"I want you so bad." I tell her and we both just stay quiet for a couple of seconds before she whispers the same thing. I could feel my body start to react at the sound of her voice, but I had to quickly push those feelings aside.
Our time is up and she really has to get off of the phone now. I tell her again that I will see her in a couple of days. I can hear she is about to hang up, but I stop her, because I have one more thing to tell her.
"I heart you Piper." I smile, because I hear her whisper to me right before she hangs up the phone.
"I heart you too."
Author Notes.
Chapter 2 in the bag…
So I want to write some smut in this story…is anyone game?
Thanks for reading
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