A/N: PREPZZZ STAHP FLAMIN!1!111ONE!11
I'm just kidding, thanks for the review, "Guest." 'Till now my stories were merely silver. My friend, they shall drip rubies. They'll soon drip precious rubies.
The old man, who was named "Gerald the Conservative," left in peace, however not before marking his territory on Dildo's door. Not like that, pervert. He scratched a giant swastika (the Republicans' official symbol) into Dildo's front door and left. Over the course of the day, many Hobbits walked by his hole, expressing their disgust at the door, and shouting obscenities.
FLASH FORWARD TO LOTR
"HEIL HITLER! NEIN!" Shouted Penguin and Marie (Pippin and Mary), saluting in front of Frito's (Frodo's) door.
FLASHBACK….Again…..
Later that day, while Dildo was masturbating in his living room, attempting to shoot out a candle with his Hobbit semen, he heard a very, very, very loud knock on his door. "OPEN THE FUCKIN' DOOR, BUD," shouted an equally loud voice in a Southern accent. "Just a minute, Sir," Dildo hurried to the door after putting his pants on. Upon opening the door, he was greeted to a large, hairy man, smoking a cigarette in denim suspenders and a dirty white shirt. "Bud, I think ya got some hair gel on your ear there." Dildo's eyes widened as the man shoved past him, smashing open his pantry and pulling out fifteen bottles of whiskey. "Sir I don't think—" Dildo was cut off by another hairy man at the door, this one was fatter, and carrying a gun. "Hey, mister, I think I saw a deer out there, I shot it in the ass!" "JEFF!" Dildo's grief for the death of his rare Rivendell King's Deer was interrupted, by deformed twins standing at the door. "Don't think none 'bout our eyelids, our Ma and Pa were brother and sister," said one, the other just chortled like a moron.
"This is going to be a long evening…" Dildo muttered to himself.