The second part. Enjoy! (I apologize for any errors)
Green eyes slowly fluttered open. The odd smell of burning wood in the air and the comforting aroma of apples and cinnamon were the first things she noticed. The second thing she noticed were the arms that were wrapped around her over the large blanket she was snuggled in. She was pressed against someone's body. Emma couldn't see who the person holding her was from the angle she was positioned in. The rising and falling coming from their chest she was resting her head on was warm and soothing. Their hot breath tickled the nape of her neck. It felt so strange yet welcoming; a feeling she could stay in forever.
Emma could hardly move from the hold of the arms around her. She managed to wiggle back just enough to see the face of her guardian. Her breath caught in her throat with emotion. The woman she'd last thought of, the one she believed would never meet eye to eye with her again was soundly asleep before her. Regina's lips were slightly parted. She'd had her head against Emma's shoulder pressing herself against Emma, as close as the blanket between them would allow.
Emma went to move once more but froze as the arms around her stopped her.
"Don't even think about it," the husky voice of the other woman warned.
Emma looked up and found groggy brown eyes staring back at her. There was a strange look in them; one Emma wasn't used to when it came to Regina. There was no hate, no anger in them. They looked calm and for a rather comforting reason, content.
Emma was silent for a moment. The tears blurring her vision made it difficult to admire the small smile tugging at Regina's lips. The lump in her throat made it even harder to speak. Slowly she managed to free one of her hands and carefully raised it to the other woman's face. The tip of her fingers grazed over the mayor's cheek gently.
Emma was speechless, breathless. This moment was too surreal. The woman she had been in love with for the last three years was willing laying in the living room floor of her house in front of the fireplace, holding her.
"Regina," Emma breathed. "You're here. I'm…we're… but what are…"
Regina remained quiet. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and leaned her head into the blonde's touch.
After Regina had transported them back to the mansion she'd been quick to cover Emma with the thickest and warmest blankets she owned. The fire she'd started earlier that night had remained burning to their luck. After wrapping the sheriff in a bundle of blankets Regina had set up a small arrangement of blankets and pillows in front of the fire for Emma to keep warm with. Once she healed the woman's most serious of wounds and had accommodated her by the fireplace she'd found that she wanted nothing more, needed nothing more than to hold Emma. Regina didn't even think twice about it before she found herself taking Emma in her arms and holding her as she slept. She'd fallen asleep with the woman safely in her arms in moments.
Emma had been ice cold. The amount of blood she'd lost from her leg had left her very weak. Regina managed to heal the wounds just in time. The leg wound would be sore for a quite a while, but it was salvaged. It had been pretty deep and with the amount of blood loss Emma was lucky enough not to have lost it with the freezing temperature she'd been exposed to. The damage to her temple had lightly been cleaned up. Being that Regina's main priority was to warm the woman she'd only quickly dismissed the wound with only a bandage, but from what she could see now the wound appeared to be bruising around the temple.
Regina had been so close to losing yet another important person in her life. She'd almost allowed the anger to blind her from seeing what had been in front of her the entire time. The signals had been present. The way Emma looked at her, talked to her, believed inher. She cared about her. She cared about her far more than Regina had thought to consider.
It didn't matter now though. All Regina wanted to do now was to keep Emma warm. She wanted to hold her and never her let her go. Never let her out of her sight and shield her from the world's harm. She chuckled softly as she reached up to take the woman's hand in her own. She brushed her lips over the now warm hand and looked directly into green eyes.
Regina was talking to her again. She was looking at her, bearing with her. Emma couldn't understand why but it just felt right. She would take the insults, the yelling, the sarcastic comments, anything just to have Regina talk to her, look her in the eye, but the words were anything but angry. Why?
"Are you planning on finishing any of those sentences dear?"
Tears slipped down Emma's cheeks.
"Regina, I'm sorry. So sorry." She buried her face in the mayor's chest and began to cry. All she'd wanted to do since the diner was apologize to her. She'd wanted Regina to understand that despite her belief, she'd never meant for her to get hurt. She needed Regina to understand that all she wanted was for her to be happy. She wanted Regina to be happy because out of all the people in the forsaken town Regina deserved a happy ending with someone who loved her and appreciated her.
"I'm so sorry for hurting you," she sobbed. She was clutching the mayor's shirt tightly, her temple pressing against the woman's shoulder.
"I know, darling. I know," Regina tried to coo. "You just need to calm down now. You're still recovering from the hypothermic temperatures. You're hurt and you need to stay calm." She stroked the woman's blonde curls gently, her head angling in attempt to meet the distressed sheriff's gaze.
Green teary eyes looked up startled by the words. "You know? But how can you…how can you just…You couldn't even bear to look at me a week ago and now you're…" Emma sat up ignoring Regina's words, the blanket falling from around her.
Regina noticed the immediate shiver that ran down the woman and quickly mirrored her position not missing the way the sheriff winced in pain. She moved across to sit in front of the sheriff and slowly reached for the blanket to place it back on Emma's trembling figure.
"Emma," she began. "I'm not-"
"You're not what?" Emma cried in frustration. She was having a difficult understanding the situation. She had to be certain it wasn't all in her head. That Regina was really there with her and that it wasn't just some sick joke her brain was playing on her.
"I nearly froze to death today and the only thing, the only person on my mind was you. You were all I could think about, Regina. You were the only person I wanted to see, wanted talk to, wanted to…and you didn't want to even look at me," Emma shook her head. "You couldn't even look at me." Her hands were clutching the wrists of the ones holding the ends of the blanket over her back. "I just wanted you. I wanted to see you one last time. I wanted to…I needed you to understand that all I have ever wanted is for you to be happy. I know I screwed up. I didn't…I couldn't just let her die and I didn't even know you were seeing someone." Her lips curled down into a trembling frown as she did her best to control her emotions. "I didn't know you were seeing someone," her voice was small but desperate. Her hands released the hold they had on Regina's and her gaze dropped.
Regina could see how the weight of her anger had truly affected the woman. She sat silently with her shoulders sagging afraid to raise her gaze. Regina had known it was not going to be easy for the sheriff to understand. Emma knew Regina better than that. She wasn't the easy forgiving type. So how was it possible that she'd simple forgiven her now, after everything that had happened?
"You saved me," Emma spoke again after a moment. "You were there and you saved me." Green eyes were staring at her with such intensity Regina felt her heart beat furiously. It wasn't a question but more of a statement of acknowledgement Emma was trying to tell herself.
Regina moved closer to her and took her hand into her own. "I couldn't let you freeze to death, Emma," her voice was solemn. It was her turn to cry. The emotions she'd been suppressing all night were beginning to surface. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed the forest green eyes until that moment. How much she would have missed the way they felt like they could see straight into her soul, see the past all the walls she'd put up, and past the monster the people in town viewed her as. They saw the real her. In Emma's eyes she wasn't the evil queen, she was simply Regina.
"I don't know what you were doing out in the middle of the storm, Emma but I wasn't going to let you freeze to death for being reckless."
Emma looked away.
"Look at me please," Regina whispered. She waited for green eyes to meet brown and smiled warmly before continuing. "I was hurt, Emma. I was hurt and I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't know−" She stopped herself and took a deep breathe to consider her next word.
Regina noticed the way green eyes grew watery after that statement.
"You wouldn't have known I was seeing Robin because I was keeping it quiet. I didn't want it to be out there until I was sure." Again Emma tried to look away but once more Regina refused to continue without eye contact.
"I let myself be fooled into believing he was my second chance at a happy ending when all this time what I truly needed has been right in front of me."
Emma let out a watery laugh. She must have hit her head pretty hard on the fall. She had to be misunderstanding Regina's words. "You can't mean−" She pulled away from her embrace refusing to fall into the cruel joke. She wasn't about to let her hopes rise only to have them completely shattered before her.
"No," Emma whispered. "You're just...You can't Regina. You can't just suddenly have a wake-up call and…no!" she shook her head and moved to stand. She quickly felt sick to her stomach as she stood, the wound to her head throbbing. "You were so angry. You were hurt and I-I get it, I fucked up, but please don't lie to my face, Regina. I'm not strong enough to handle another heartbreak. I just can't."
Regina stood, carefully keeping the space between them. Emma was trembling as she paced back and forth. The sweats and tank top she'd replaced the woman's cloth held little to no protection to the cold. "Emma you really need to calm down. You took a rather hard hit to the head and I haven't had the chance to see the depths of the affect it may have ca-"
"Is that it," Emma cut her off. "The hit to my head; I must be going crazy. Of course I am. In no right world would you care for me," she muttered to herself. "Not the way I… I'm such an idiot." She cried and shook her head.
"Emma," Regina tried again. "Please calm down. You're going to hurt yourself."
"Scream at me."
Regina was baffled and furrowed her brows in confusion. "What?"
"Scream at me, tell me off. Do it," Emma stepped closer to her. "Tell me that you hate me. That I ruined your life and that I'm just like my mother."
Regina stepped back and Emma followed. "You're out of your mind, Em-"
"Why do you keep calling me that? You always call me Miss Swan even if it makes me- You never call me Emma," she caught herself. "Why now?"
Regina was beginning to grow impatient. Emma was going to hurt herself if she didn't get a hold of herself. "You need to calm down and sit down. We can talk about this later, Em-"
"Miss Swan! It's Miss Swan! Stop calling me Emma! Just stop!" Emma cried. "Stop opening yourself to me and then suddenly pushing me away, Regina. I just can't do this anymore!" she shook her head, her vision blurring with tears but she continued to ignore it. "I'm probably slowly freezing to death at this very moment and dreaming of you and I'm…I'm yelling at you," she turned away and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I've wanted to talk to you for weeks and now that I am…"
"Emma," Regina spoke slowly.
"This is some sick game my mind is playing with me I just…" Emma looked straight into the brown eyes for a moment. She was near hyperventilating. The green eyes were overwhelmed by the exhaustion her body had taken earlier and the stress she was currently undergoing. "I just can't. I can't handle the silence from you anymore. You've ignored me for weeks, avoided me, and all but considered me dead to you," her voice was cracking, the lump in her throat threatening to consume her. "I-if this is just another damn dream I don't know how I'll be able to cope with myself anymore."
Another? How many times had Emma dreamt of them speaking? How often did they happen? Regina was speechless for a moment, caught off guard by the woman's confession.
"I'll take your yelling, your screaming, even a damn fireball if it'll make you feel better but fuck I just need you to talk to me, Regina. I need this not to be a fucking dream and for it to be real. The silence is killing me. I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I feel like a fucking zombie walking around without you in my life and- Fuck! I know it's my damn fault. I did this. I ruined everything! I- I'm not excusing myself. I know I fucked up. I fucked up horribly and I just don't know how to breathe anymore! I know you don't want to hear what I have to say but…I- damn it," she hated the mess she'd become. The tears wouldn't stop. She was shaking and she couldn't get a hold of her emotions. "I'll suck it up even if only to have you tell me you no longer want me in your life but please please please just talk to me!"
The sobbing sheriff collapsed on her knees. She ignored the stinging from her leg and curled into herself as she continued to cry.
Regina remained silent. She watched as the woman broke down before her. How had she failed to notice this? She failed to notice how much the guilt and self-hatred had eaten at the young woman. She'd thought of so many things she'd want to say to the sheriff when the time came but as it presented itself and really exposed how much it meant to Emma having hurt Regina, Regina could only feel her heart ache. Regina had done so much worse willingly and never had she dared to linger on how the others had been hurt by her actions.
Emma had never demanded an apology from her for having grown up in this cruel world. She'd never brought it up nor held it against Regina. It dawned on Regina that Emma never held a grudge for the way her life had turned out because of the curse she casted. Despite having so many reasons to hurt Regina, to call it even, Emma wasn't looking at the picture like that. She hated herself for hurting Regina. She hated herself.
Emma wiped away at her cheek harshly. She inhaled sharply trying to regulate her breathing. "I'm such an idiot," she muttered to herself. "All I do is destroy and hurt those I care about." She looked down at her hands. "If you'd…" her voice was calm now. "If you'd seen the way she looked at me. The way you looked at me," she finally looked up. She'd stopped crying with only the hints of tears hiding beneath her eyelashes. "It was like a part of me broke that night. I'd hurt you once before that and there I was doing it again."
Regina had remained glued to the spot unsure of what to say.
"You were so devastated," Emma continued. "You were so heartbroken and it was because I was so careless. I didn't think I just…did. Y-you didn't deserve that. You don't deserve this heartache," she swallowed slowly. "I'm sorry," her gaze held such sincerity and remorse Regina could practically feel it. Emma smiled sadly. She made to reach out for the other woman but her hand closed half way in the air and dropped it like she was unworthy of touching the woman before her. "I should have told you when I had the chance."
Regina wasn't sure when she'd moved, but somehow she'd found herself mirroring the sheriff's kneeling position. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. Regina had shut Emma out in anger. She'd pushed her away and had wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. For nearly two months Regina had ignored Emma's presence. Not that Emma had made it difficult. After trying to apologize and talk to her Emma had understood she was not wanted around and quickly gave Regina the space she wanted. Despite the hurt she felt from being pushed away Emma obliged and removed herself from the mayor's life.
"Emma," Regina whispered. She carefully reached to brush away tears from a flushed cheek. "You need to listen to me. This isn't another one of your dreams. This is real. I'm here. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere," she assured her.
Emma was silent. She stared at auburn eyes for a moment allowing the words to sink in. A sob was muffled by her hand as she finally understood what Regina had been trying to tell her. Her hand carefully reached out to touch the hand over her cheek as it finally dawned on Emma. "You-"
"I've heard what you have to say, Emma and now it's my turn to speak," Regina gently told her. She'd heard more than enough; what she needed to hear. But now it was Emma's turn to listen. She had to understand, too.
"You can be infuriating, careless, and impulsive, but that does not make you a bad person," she swallowed attempting to clear her throat and gave Emma's hand a squeeze. "They make you who you are, Emma. You're a strong, brave, and kind hearted. And I-" Regina chuckled to herself. "I love all of that about you," she smiled that heart stopping smile Emma loved so much. "I know you, Emma Swan. You can be reckless, but not without a good intention, you can be infuriating, but with reason, and you're impulsive with a good cause. I know you didn't bring back Robin's wife to hurt me. You're not that kind of person. You don't do things to spite others, not intentionally. And I know there was no way of you knowing who she was. You are nothing like your mother."
Emma figure practically collapsed with relief
I nearly lost you tonight, Emma. I nearly lost you for being reckless myself. I was allowing myself to be blinded by my own anger." She tilted her head and gave a watery smile. "I realized tonight that I was never really angry with you. I was hurt by what you did, but I wasn't angry with you. I was angry with myself. I have trying for so long to find happiness for myself and it has been right in front this whole time." Regina smiled and cupped the side of the blonde's face gently. The back of her thumb stroked the warm cheek as she took the moment to just look at the beauty before her. "It's been you all along, Emma. It's always been you and I'm sorry it took you nearly dying for me to see it." She was shaking as she spoke. She held onto Emma's hand, intertwining their fingers together.
The corner of Emma's lips twitched. Her chin trembled with emotion as she took a moment to process what Regina had just said. The woman she'd be willing to die for wanted her too. She wanted her.
Emma breathed, tears pooling in her eyes. "Regina I−"
Her words were cut off by soft gentle lips against her own. Regina couldn't stand another second. She cut the woman off and pressed their lips together. She tried to convey and pour all of her feelings and for the young woman into the kiss.
"I love you, too," Regina whispered caressing the flushed woman's cheek.
Green eyes looked at her with wonder. The moment felt so surreal. Emma had only dreamed of the woman returning her feelings.
"You heard," Emma whispered as it dawned on her. "You heard everything." She shivered, the tank top she wore offering her little to no protection. Regina nodded. She brushed aside a blonde strand of hair and gently spoke. "There is still much to discuss darling, but there will be time for that all of that," Regina assured her. She adjusted the blanket properly over the woman's shoulders and moved them back in front of the fire place.
"We owe Elsa a thank you," Emma chuckled as she rested her head against Regina's shoulder.
Regina rolled her eyes and kissed the blonde's temple, a genuine smile crossed her lips for the first time in a long time. "I suppose we do, dear but for now let's worry about keeping you warm."
Emma hummed in response as gentle fingers ran through her blonde hair. She closed her eyes and allowed the serene clement of the fire and the woman she loved to keep her warm. Tomorrow would bring its battle but in that moment nothing else mattered.