A scrape and a scuffle at the front door nudges Beli from her fitful sleep. "Unh?" Her watch reads one AM, but it feels like she's only just fallen asleep on Kyanna's couch. Awareness filters in: The apartment is still and silent - only shadows in the dark - and there's someone in the hallway.

Someone in the hallway trying to force open the door!

Beli launches up with a gasp and throws herself between Philip's crib and the door. A weapon! She can shelter Philip with her body, but she needs to put something between the stranger and herself!

Magazines on the coffee table are all her scrambling hands can find. By the time the intruder stumbles in through the door she's still helpless, so Beli seizes her smart phone and shines the torch on the invader and –

"Kyanna?"

"What the –? Bels?" Her friend grimaces and holds up a hand to block the blinding light. Beli breathes a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Kyanna, I was so worried you were –" but never mind that. Beli flicks on the corner-side lamp to greet her friend's return, and ends up gasping at the gruesome sight revealed.

"Kyanna? Wh-what happened to you?"

The Latina is a mess. Her hair is in tangles, there's mascara running down her cheeks and a stain that looks like vomit crusted down the front of her leopard-print top. She's a nightmare come to life. Kyanna ignores the question, ignores Beli altogether.

"Where's Phily? My baby - I need to see my baby."

There's an edge of panic in her one-track mother's mind and Beli backs far away as Kyanna storms over to the corner-side crib to scan her child.

Relief – sweet relief. Even after her noisy entrance, Philip is asleep and at peace. The tension rolls off Kyanna's shoulders and, like a cat lowering its hackles, the mother seems to shrink several inches. With her adrenaline high cut, all that's left is a tired and ragged creature. Her forehead slumps to the upper bar of the crib.

"You're okay," she sobs. "Gracias a Dio, you're okay."

Beli approaches cautiously, worried that any sudden movement might set off Kyanna's maternal rage again, but when she touches her hand to Kyanna's shoulder, the Latina slowly turns and sinks against Beli's chest.

"I'm such an idiot, Bels. Such an idiot…"

Seeing Kyanna so defeated and weak makes her want to tremble, but for her friend's sake, Beli steels her nerves. She guides Kyanna to the kitchen - to keep her wracking sobs from waking Philip, and so she can soothe this distress with a cup of warm tea.

Kyanna has other beverages in mind. When Beli leaves her side to shut the bead curtains to the living room, the single mother reaches on tiptoes and snatches the tequila from to topmost cupboard.

Beli watches nervously as Kyanna tilts her head back in a deep swig.

"Kyanna, talk to me. What on Earth happened to you?"

"Oh, this?" the Latina scoffs as she gestures to the foul-smelling crust on her top. "Just a little going away gift from Aiko. Bitch was chasing after me in the parking lot, trying to apologize for everything and, well – the fresh air didn't do her gut any good."

Kyanna takes another self-medicating swig. Beli waits and listens.

"Aiko took me to the casino. It started off cool - they had a buffet and a live band playing. We had a couple drinks, we got up and danced, and I seriously convinced myself that this was going to be the perfect evening. That's when she puts her arms around my shoulders, leans up to my ear all nice 'n slow and whispers a naughty little idea: 'let's check out the tables.'"

A loathing grimace.

"Well fuck, we get onto the casino floor, and suddenly she's a totally different person. It's like she's one of those mall brats who can't put down their phones – the roulette wheels and the craps tables have her hypnotized, and I had to physically shake her so she'd snap outta it and stop laying down her money! And if that's not shitty enough, all the while she's still calling the servers for drinks! I had two, Bels – two, and I was already feeling tipsy, but Aiko keeps pounding them back like she thinks another rum and coke is going to win her the next jackpot! It was so embarrassing!"

Beli winces sympathetically. She's taken a mug from the cupboard, and now she puts it forward so Kyanna can pour her a drink. Not that she's planning to join Kyanna for a round; she just wants to limit the alcohol her friend can slosh into her own stomach.

"I should've walked away right there, Bels, but I was still telling myself I could salvage something from this night. So I pull my shirt down a bit; start giving her the baby-doll eyes and saying we should go somewhere quieter, and she seems to take the hint. So what does she do? Bels, she drags me into the women's washroom and tries to get all handsy with me! The place stinks to high-hell, her breath's reeking from all the booze, and she's pulling my hands up around her neck and begging me to choke her! 'Really make me feel it, mami!' AndI'm like, holy fuck, this is some messed up shit!"

Kyanna drains the bottle and shudders. Beli bites her lip, knowing the worst is yet to come.

"So at that point I'm done. I push her off, give her the look and tell her it's time she takes me home. Oh, she liked that – it's like she gets high off of people pushing her around, but that's not the kicker. Bels, she's settling our tab for the buffet and her credit card is declined! She hasn't paid her frickin' bills in two months and her card's been cut off! I had to shell out of my own purse to pay for us both – including all of her god-damn drinks!

"I just wanted to go home, Bels. I was marching for the bus stop – I didn't want anything more to do with Aiko, but she's tripping over her heels trying to catch up and tell me how sorry she is, how she's gonna make it up next time. I spin around to give her a piece of my mind and suddenly she … well, you know."

Kyanna gestures to the crusted puke on her outfit. Beli can piece the rest together herself.

"So when you texted me, when you said you were going home with her -"

"Bels, she was moaning on the ground and sobbing like her stomach was about to burst. I didn't have the heart to just leave her there. So I carry her to her car, throw her in the back seat and drive her home. I lug her through the door – goddamn pig sty, by the way – find her a Tylenol and slam the door. That's when I remember she's on the other side of town, and I've got no wheels. Had to transfer three buses and walk twenty minutes in my heels just to get back here."

Kyanna tosses her arms out as if to say, 'here I am'. Messy, filthy, tired and humiliated, and it tears at Beli's heart to see her friend reduced to this.

"Kyanna…"

"I had this coming, you know."

The Latina's eyes are downcast, a loathing edge cutting her voice.

"I just wanted to forget everything – my bills, my job, my baby – I just wanted to go crazy like the good old days, the way it was with Dario. Course, I forgot how much of a shithead he was: what a fantastic job he did handling our money, how fucked-up he got when he started drinking."

She looks up, gives a single laugh of utter defeat.

"You were right about everything, Beli. Aiko was a train wreck, and I had the shittiest night ever. I'm such a joke."

Beli doesn't hesitate a second. She throws her arms around Kyanna and pulls the younger woman against her in a tight and reassuring hug. She can't take back all the hurt, but she can stem the flow, be her tourniquet and hold her dearly.

"I'm so, so sorry, Kyanna. You don't deserve this. You don't ever deserve this."

The sudden embrace leaves Kyanna's arms stiff at her sides, but gradually Beli feels the grip returned – trembling hands inching cautiously up her back with all the uncertainty of a kicked puppy. When Beli gives her a squeeze – a nod of assurance – Kyanna immediately clings to her shoulders, breathing deeply and huddling greedily to the offered warmth.

"It's over now, Kyanna. I've got you, and I'm here for you."

For Beli, it doesn't matter that the front of her sari is being dirtied in god-knows-what, or that Kyanna's tears are staining her shoulder. She's where she needs to be. She's by Kyanna's side.

It's only when Kyanna raises her head and looks at her with needy, tear-stained eyes that she realizes how close they stand. How warm Kyanna's body feels against her own. How fiercely the drumbeat of that Latin heart throbs against her breast.

"Um, Kyanna –"

"Shh. Don't talk, Bels. Just –"

Her words trail away, but Kyanna's trembling mouth remains open in an unspoken plea. The tequila is gone, but her lips are still dry and desperate for comfort.

A tear runs down Kyanna's closed eyelids as she leans forward.

Beli jerks her head back, breaking their embrace.

And the hurt splintering through Kyanna's eyes is a thousand times worse than any humiliation Aiko delivered that night.

"You must be so happy right about now," she glares, "to see me taken down a notch, to see me dragged through the mud."

"No! Kyanna, I –"

"Save it." Kyanna's words lash her into silence. "You need to leave."

"Kyanna, I'm not leaving yo-"

"Just stop." Kyanna turns away, her voice choking through a wretched sob. "Don't make me beg, Bels. I just want it to be over."

Beli does as she's told, and makes her way somberly down the stairwell of Kyanna's apartment. Her thoughts churn in a dull tempest.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't breathing easier after hearing the story of Kyanna and Aiko's instantaneous falling apart. Seeing them flirt and laugh so naturally had sent a terrible ache through her chest. But how can I be happy with this? She'd prayed for some miraculous intervention to fling them apart, but she never intended the heavenly bolt to strike Kyanna as well.

I'm a terrible person. The thought haunts her over the weekend and into the new week.

Starting Monday, Kyanna doesn't show up for yoga classes. She hears from some of the students that the hairdresser's booked herself for extra hours at the salon.

Aiko is equally absent from her social scene. Over the phone, Jessie clucks her tongue and mentions something about the professor cashing in a long line of sick days. "Working off the mother of all hangovers," the adult actress explains.

That's fine. She's not terribly eager to see her Asian friend either.

All week her thumb hovers over her phone, searching for the will to call Kyanna's number. Every time Beli finds the courage to touch the screen, her mind fills with the memory of her friend's wounded eyes – of the hands that held her so desperately, and the lips that reached out for her comfort.

Every time, Beli startles and she pushes the phone away, reaching instead for another glass of wine to banish the haunting image.

I'm a coward, she reminds herself, and Kyanna doesn't need someone like me. A spectator on the sidelines of life, unfit and unworthy to even be a friend.

For half a week, Beli kicks herself over self-pitying sips of wine. Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night.

On Thursday morning, Beli wakes with a splitting headache, and as she throws her bedroom curtains open, a new memory pierces her mind with the sunlight, radiant and and agonizing in its clarity:

Kyanna, gazing fondly from across the room as her best friend plays her son, a look of trust and adoration towards the woman she's invited into her home, into her life.

And Beli knows right then that there's nothing she wouldn't do to see that smile again.

She pours the rest of her wine down the sink.

She showers herself clean, throws on fresh clothes and she thumbs through her phone contacts.

She has to make this right, and there's work to be done.

Beli forces her back to stand tall as she strides to the salon's front counter. With no customer to keep her busy, Kyanna sits cross-legged in her chair, face lowered into a magazine. A glance up, and her eyes startle and connect.

"Hello, Kyanna."

Her friend is alarmed for only a second before collecting herself into a terse neutral.

"Hey, Bels. Guess you're here for a haircut?"

"And to see you."

No reaction. "Well, have a seat."

Beli complies, purse folded in her lap. Wordlessly, Kyanna rotates the chair into position and swishes a plastic covering around Beli's shoulders. Her skin tingles nervously when Kyanna's fingers tighten the Velcro clasp around her neck.

"I want it shortened."

"You sure?" Kyanna frowns as she runs a hand through the locks draping down Beli's neck. "You've been growing this out real nice."

"I want it back." A restart, she thinks. Back to what it was when I first met you.

"Well, okay..."

It's quiet work, only the steady snip of metal sheers and the spritz of Kyanna's spray bottle to fill the silence. The chatter of the other hairdressers fades into a dull and meaningless roar. In Beli's mind, it's only the two of them.

"You look tired, Kyanna."

"Extra shifts," her friend shrugs. She doesn't deny the dark bags hanging under her eyes, or the wilted ponytail drooping down her neck. There's not even a sparkle of golden earrings to cheer her face. "I'm good, though. I fill my hours, I pick up Phily from my mom's place; I go home and be a good mother."

"Carol at the gym's front desk says you cancelled your membership."

"Money's tight," Kyanna grunts, "and I can't keep thinking about myself all the time. It's how I keep getting into these messes, Bels."

They fall back into scissor-snip silence. Kyanna dries and styles her hair, the blanket is swept away, and then they're standing across the front counter while Kyanna rings up her bill.

It's now or never.

"Kyanna –"

"Beli, I –"

They stop, and Beli realizes that Kyanna's been struggling just as hard to unload her own burdensome thoughts.

"Kyanna, I -"

"No, me first." Kyanna's always been the more assertive one, and Beli sees that she's determined to have the first say. The Latina closes her eyes and prepares herself with a deep breath.

"Bels, I'm so, so sorry. For what I said to you last week, for trying to -" she trails off, brushing a finger across her guilty lips. "- to take advantage of you like that. My head was in a shitty place, I was drunk, and I shouldn't have tried to drag you into my mess."

Beli's about to reply when Kyanna seizes her hands.

"You're a super best friend, and I'm lucky to just be able to hang with someone like you. But you're straight - and I get that, and I'm not gonna push anything. We're friends, we're good that way, and I don't want that to change. Can you forgive me?"

"O-of course!" Beli's just a little flustered from the rapid-fire apology, and the warmth from Kyanna's hands surrounding her own isn't helping. "Of course I forgive you."

Pardon granted, Kyanna breaths a deep, relieving sigh. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Bels."

Then Kyanna steps back and throws on an eager smile. "Okay, so that was my soapbox rant. What were you gonna say, bestie?"

"Oh, I was just - I mean, I was going to ask -"

"C'mon, Bels!" Kyanna gives her shoulder a friendly squeeze and the close contact is so not helping. "We're best friends; you can ask me anything!"

"I wanted – that is, I was wondering –"

"C'mon, girl! Just … shout it out!"

"Kyanna, will you go out with me tomorrow evening?"

After a half-minute of terrified eye-clenching, Beli peeks open a single lid. Kyanna's eyes are wide and dumbfound. The other hairdressers and their clients are equally stunned; she's pretty sure one of them just dropped her scissors, and Beli's cowardly little bunny rabbit heart races a mile a minute when she realizes that yes, she did in fact shout that out.

But before she can curl up into a miserable little bundle of nerves, Kyanna's hand is around her wrist and she's whisked away to the employee locker room in the back.

"You wanna run that by me again?"

"Kyanna, I know we're just friends, and I still want to be friends, but ... when I watched you walk out that door with Aiko, it felt like I was losing you forever. That scared me. I don't want to feel that way again, Kyanna. So I want to go out with you."

The Latina rubs her head and mutters something in exasperated Spanish. "Bels, you don't have to do this just to make me feel better, okay?"

"I'm not!"

"Well, I'm not keen on being another straight girl's lesbian experiment."

"I'm – I'm not experimenting. And besides, you need a night out to have fun, and … I want to be there with you, so doesn't it make sense if we go out together?"

Beli stops herself. Not like this, she scolds herself. Strong words, just like I practiced.

"Kyanna, I want you to go out with me tomorrow." Her words come from the heart, but Kyanna still shakes her head.

"Bels, you're a sweetheart. You really are, but even if I said 'yes', there's no way I can snag a sitter in time to -"

"It's taken care of."

Kyanna raises an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"I mean, a sitter. I've taken care of that. That girl from campus, Tiffany? I … saw her phone number on your fridge and I booked her in advance this morning. She's coming to your apartment tomorrow night. She had to cancel a cheerleading practice, but I promised I'd pay extra if she could make it, so really, you have to come out."

Kyanna plants her hands on her hips and looks her over, eyes glinting with that overprotective, momma bear ferocity.

"You booked a sitter behind my back? You invited someone to go up to my apartment – up to my son - and barge in without telling me?"

Beli winces and gives a downcast nod. The whole date idea looks to be over before it even began.

Then Kyanna grins slyly.

"Beli Lapran, when did you get to be such a pushy bitch?"

"Huh?"

"Well I never met anyone who wanted a date so bad they offered to pay for my sitter. Not gonna take no for an answer, huh?"

"I – just thought I should plan ahead. I'm sorry."

"Pff! Don't be. I kinda like this new, bossy Beli. Makes me wanna see what else she's got hidden up her sari."

As if that isn't innuendo enough, Kyanna saunters up so close that Beli can count the lashes on those violet eyes and traces a teasing finger up and down the exposed skin of her arm. The touch sends Beli's heart working overtime.

"So, boss? Where you gonna take me for a good time tomorrow?"

Kyanna's mesmerizing smile makes it so tempting to spill everything, but Beli shakes the butterflies from her head.

"I-it's a surprise."

"Aw boo, that's no fun! You've at least got to give me a dress code. Otherwise, I might meet you at the door in my swimsuit."

"A swi-? Why would you wear that?"

"I dunno. Maybe 'cause I think you'd like it."

Kyanna flashes a hungry smile, and Beli's sure that her ears are steaming.

"Oh, it's not like that. I mean, dress nice, but nothing super fancy. Oh, and no heels. We'll be walking."

"Ooh, an evening stroll under the moonlight?"

"S-sort of. Oh, and dinner too, so don't fill up before."

"Buying me food? Oh Bels, you're checking off all the boxes now."

Beli has to cup her cheeks to hide the rosy, red glow. This is flirting, right? Kyanna's flirting with me. A strange sensation is spiraling up inside her chest, and it's one she wouldn't mind getting used to.

"So, I'll pick you up around six?"

"What if I want you sooner?" Again, Kyanna's intense stare sends Beli squirming and blushing, and she needs a moment to steady herself.

"Well... You'll just have to wait, missy."

"Mm, there's that spicy calzone again. Okay, I'll wait until six, Miss Lapran, but I'm expecting you to dazzle me, got that?"

Beli nods firmly. "I'll be worth the wait."

"Oh I know you are." Kyanna smiles again, and a shiver runs up Beli's spine as she leans over her ear and whispers, "te veo mañana, belleza."

Kyanna flashes her a parting wink, and then Beli's toddling off out the front entrance in a drunken wobble, still unable to process what just happened: Kyanna's forgiven her, they're friends again, and for the first time in her life, she's asked someone out on a date! Not just any someone but another woman! A scandalous thrill rushes up her spine as she imagines the awed looks of her gym friends and yoga students. Miss Lapran, how daring!

I can do this, she thinks. It can't be that different from dating a guy, and she's had lots of successful relationsh-

Oh.

No, wait. She hasn't.

This isn't going to be some anonymous match made by a well-meaning friend, or a stranger foisted upon her by her nosy mother. This is a date with Kyanna, her most treasured and irreplaceable friend.

If she does anything the slightest bit awkward or off-putting, there's no slate to wipe clean, no easy phone number to block from her contacts. If this doesn't work out, there's no going back.

Dizzy beyond belief, Beli catches herself on the nearest wall as the weight of her decision bears down on her.

What have I gotten myself into?