Title - The Trouble with Masks.
Chapter – 2 - Sid the Squid.
Pairing – Tonks/Remus, Tonks/Oc,
Rating – M – Just to be safe.
Warnings – Romance and angst.
Quick Intro – Tonks was a metamorph, an Auror, this is the tale of her past, her fight for her innocent cousin locked up in Azkaban and her tale of love, loss and possible acceptance.
Disclaimer – I don't own any of the character from Harry Potter alas they belong to JK Rowling, there is no financial gain here just a love of fanfiction.
Chapter Two
It was night time and once again Nymphadora was out of bed and wondering the grounds of Hogwarts, she was in her second year at Hogwarts but it already felt like home, she didn't know why but it seemed to sooth her mind, as if the air had a calming spell in it. It was also the spectacle of the great 'sea squid' basking on the water in the moonlight that made her come out this night, she knew it was a sight that not many people got to see and she appreciated every moment of it.
She sat down on the river bank and lent against a tree, gazing up at the full moon her thoughts went to Remus, she hadn't spoken to him in a long time but after she figured out his secret her heart always went out to him around the full moon.
The last time they spoke he told her to stop being so childish and accept the facts of Sirius's guilt, she had responded by yelling at him that he is the one who needed to grow up and remember what the word friend meant. He didn't yell or scream back at her he just turned and left quietly, no door slamming or anger just silence. She knew she shouldn't have brought up the subject of Sirius considering it was only a day before the full moon and he was already feeling drained but he did know how to get her worked up, she hated how he acted as if Sirius never even existed.
A week later she had gone back to his house to apologise, he wasn't in but as she was leaving he was walking down the street towards her, he stopped and stared at her before turning and walking away, it was the same with everyone she had known, one by one they all turned away from her. Sometimes she couldn't understand why her belief in Sirius being innocent would be so painful to hear when his guilt was decided so quickly.
Remembering the promise she made to Sirius about always believing she smiled sadly and knew their time to meet again was nearly upon them, she was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of breathing she stood quickly and turned around to find no one there, slowly she walked around a bit before turning back to the waters edge, there stood before her was a magnificent creature, a centaur, she gasped in awe and stood transfixed before taking a step towards him. When he spoke to her his voice was deep and she could feel the rumble in the ground as if it was talking with him.
"These grounds at night are no place for a child, return to the safety of the castle young one, they are looking for you."
Nymphadora just stared at him for a moment before realising she was being rude.
"Forgive my silence, I have never met of your kind before."
Nymphadora wasn't sure but she but she could swear he smiled at the comment he walked towards her and bend down slightly to look in to her eyes, she didn't step back or break eye contact but she felt him try to enter her mind, she denied him and forced him out, he smiled at her.
"You are powerful young one, what secrets do you protect in these darkening times?"
"It is not the times that are getting dark, it's the people."
Firenze looked over her shoulder and she turned as Dumbledore, Hagrid and Professor Snape entered the small clearing, sighing she looked up to the centaur.
"Guess I have to leave now, it was interesting meeting you…."
"My name young one is Firenze and it was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Tonks."
Slightly taken back that Firenze knew her name she could only stand there when he lent down and whispered in her ear, she smiled and looked up as Hagrid stepped forward ready to defend an attack but it was not necessary as Dumbledore stepped forward and spoke up.
"Nymphadora, please go with Professor Snape to my office, I will be along shortly to have a word with you."
A feeling of dread set in, a conversation with Dumbledore usually ended with her defending her belief in Sirius, she already felt drained and didn't know if she could face him. As she left she looked over her shoulder and was Dumbledore and Firenze in deep conversation.
After being berated and sneered at by Professor Snape Nymphadora found herself alone in Dumbledore's office, sat in the big chair waiting for him seemed to last forever before long curiosity and boredom got the better of her, she got up and walked around examining a few things when she tripped over almost smashing a few fragile looking objects. After almost destroying his office Nymphadora decided to stick to sitting in the chair, Fawkes had been woken up by her crashing around and called to her in his musical tone, Nymphadora screwed up her nose and slowly transformed her face to match in a similar shape the beak of the phoenix.
Over the years of course she had practiced changing her face but animals were a tricky subject, give her a picture of any person and she could mimic them almost instantly but animals were harder, her physical form had not stopped growing yet so she couldn't change it massively, but her face, she had practiced cat and dog, rabbit and even changing her tongue to that of a snakes but Fawkes was a challenge getting the beak just right.
"Changing face but always the same eyes."
She spun around looking for the person but her eyes rested on the tatty old hat that was brought out once a year to place the new students in their houses, it was a horrid experience she did not want to relive.
"Don't you get lonely up here all by yourself?"
"With the portraits and Dumbledore as company who could ever get lonely, besides I have to think of a new song for the next year, it's not easy being original you know."
"Can I ask you a question, why did you put me in Hufflepuff house?"
"I remember your placing, you were very rude to me, you did not ask me not to put you in Slytherin you threatened to shred me if I did not place you in another house. Now don't lie to me girl."
After a moments hesitation she complied to answer his question.
"I was scared, if I had been put into Slytherin then it would have been true, someone once said, "Bad blood will out", I can't believe they thought Sirius was guilty but to believe blood could decide a persons future was too much, I was determined that I would not turn out like the rest of the my family, being put in Slytherin would have made my them right about blood, that would have been too much."
"What I have thought about many a time is not that you didn't want me to put you in Slytherin, that is a common request, you also asked me not to put you in Griffindor why was that?"
She was silent for a while feeling stupid about having to explain herself to a tatty hat but she felt bad about threatening him and did want to know what house she was truly meant to be in.
"Not to be placed in Slytherin would have been a blessing but to be placed in Griffindor would have been insulting to everyone who has been in the house before, including Sirius, I could not have done that."
"If the choice had been up to me the House I would have put you in would have been that of Griffindor, you have a brave soul little one, your courage has been evident since you were a babe in arms and your loyalty, even if it is to one who does not deserve it, is unbreakable."
Quietly she spoke still not believing that Griffindor was the house she would have been put in if she had not threatened to shred him. Remembering her fears at being place in various houses led her emotionally to admit her lack of bravery.
"I am not brave, you are wrong, if I was brave I would have stopped him before he killed her, I would have killed him when he tried to kill Harry, I would have been able to protect Sirius, I wouldn't have lost my best friend to Azkaban, if I was brave I would be able ask Dumbledore instead of sneaking off. Perhaps you are losing your touch hat, it is not in me to be brave."
Nymphadora was tearing up at the thought of her being considered brave, the hat made no response but a small cough behind her bought her attention to the fact Dumbledore had returned, she wondered how much he had heard.
"Miss Tonks I believe I have kept you longer then intended I apologise."
"I am sorry for going outside headmaster, sometimes the castle is too stuffy, I just wanted some fresh air, it won't happen again."
Hoping that this simple apology would be enough for Dumbledore to give her a detention and send her on her way was a small hope but still she tried, Dumbledore smiled as he motioned for her to sit down and offered her a lemon drop, a sweet she could never say no to. After her eyes had come back in to focus and her jaw and stopped clinching from the sour taste she looked up to the smiling headmaster. They sat in silence for a while before Dumbledore began to speak softly.
"I believe this is not the first time you have been seen out of your dorm at night Miss Tonks, Firenze has informed me he has seen you in the clearing on a number of occasions, Professor Snape has kept me informed of your sessions but he expressed lately that you seem to be lacking the enthusiasm you once had, is everything okay or is their a reason for this change in behaviour?"
Playing with the hem of her robe Nymphadora looked over to Fawkes who was cleaning his feathers before she looked over at the headmaster, even then she couldn't meet his eyes for long.
"Have you ever sat and watched the giant squid sir? At night I mean, I read in a book that the giant squid likes moonlight something about how it cools its blood, at night time it bathes on the surface of the water showing more of its body then at any other time. That's how it began, one night I couldn't sleep and remembered about the squid so decided to go and see it, I thought I would just go once to see it but once is not enough, the way it moves, it dances it's tentacles across the water and seems to hum contently, its breath taking."
Unconsciously Nymphadora had gotten up and moved to the window where she could see the surface of the water clearly but no squid, Dumbledore spoke up from his seated position and this seemed to stir Nymphadora out of her thoughts and she returned to the chair almost knocking it over.
"The giant squid is a very nervous creature, powerful in its natural underwater home but on the surface it is vulnerable, it will sink to the depths when it hears a commotion, I believe that is what happened tonight but do not worry it will return now the peace is restored. However this does not answer my question about your change in behaviour Miss Tonks."
Sighing through tiredness and annoyance at the fact her usual distraction technique had not worked on the headmaster she realised that yes they would end up having what she referred to at the 'Sirius conversation'.
"I had a dream about him again, You-Know-Who, he was on the Hogwarts express sat opposite me in the compartment but no one else was there, he had his wand and I couldn't move, I could see shadows the other side of the door, people laughing and having fun. He was laughing at me, at my attempt to cure what he did to me, then seemed to take sympathy on me, he said he was going to tell me the curse he used, he lent forward and whispered in my ear but it was a hissing sound, I didn't understand it. He sat back laughing coldly, that's when I woke up and headed outside."
After retelling her dream she just sat there quietly waiting for Dumbledore to tell her it was just a dream and not to be stupid again by going outside. He however sat a moment before asking her.
"When you woke up you went outside, I assume these dreams are unsettling, why do you go outside where you are isolated when I am sure you can wake one of your dorm friends if you are afraid?"
Damn. Why did the man always have to push the conversation in the exact place you didn't want it to go.
"Well Sir, when I wake up I feel like he is still there watching me waiting to see how I will react, I used to hide beneath the covers till dawn but lately I felt tired of feeling scared. I went outside the first time and stood by the dark forest and closed my eyes, it may seem stupid but my going outside makes me feel as if I am standing up to him, to all of them. If I am such an easy target then going outside is my way of challenging them to come and get me, if they are too afraid to get me while I am outside all alone then they have no right to disturb me in my dreams."
Feeling absolutely stupid in front of possibly the greatest wizard ever Nymphadora felt herself go red with embarrassment when Dumbledore laughed heartedly.
"My dear Miss Tonks, I do believe that is the first time I have heard of a person standing up to their nightmares in such a physical way. Normally the nightmares of children your age are of far less frightening things so I commend you on taking such an active role in fighting them, however the ground such as the dark forest and the clearing so near to it are still out of bounds to Hogwarts students day or night, do you understand?"
Feeling a bit better about feeling stupid Nymphadora nodded, for a moment she thought about telling him her plan then she thought against it as she always did she lost her nerve again, Dumbledore seemed to read something in her actions and asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about.
"I'm scared."
"What are you scared of? You are at Hogwarts nothing is going to hurt you."
"I'm not scared of someone hurting me Professor, I am scared of you"
At this point Dumbledore looked at her questioningly but not accusingly.
"I'm scared of you saying no, I was going to sneak away but I figure I wouldn't get far."
His voice not betraying any emotion of anger or confusion he might be feeling Dumbledore asked.
"Why do you want to run away?"
"I don't!...I want to see Siruis, I want to visit him in Azkaban."
She waited to be yelled at and sent away but was surprised when a cup of hot chocolate was placed in front of her. Dumbledore stared at her for a while having a mental battle with himself before he spoke.
"May I ask you why you wish to see him?"
"I know everyone thinks him guilty and many people have pointed out the fact that I was only young at the time, in their eyes I made a mistake believing him innocent but that night, I looked in to You-Know-Who's eyes and I saw how dark he was inside, he is dark to the very core of his soul, Sirius could never be half as dark as a Death Eater let alone the Dark Lord himself."
She gasped for breath as she finished her plea and when he didn't respond she took this as a bad sign and continued her plea.
"You saw him in the trial, he was so scared, beyond that he was terrified, I haven't seen him since the trial but almost everyday since I have been reliving 'that' night, I just want to look into his eyes, I'm not sure what I will find but I know that I want to look, I need to look, I would rather not do it behind your back Professor."
At the last part of her statement Dumbledore's eyes seemed to twinkle, he put his cup down and stared at her a moment longer as she nervously sipped her drink.
"You have had to deal with a lot in your few years Miss Tonks, your gift to morph was always going to make you stand out but what I didn't see was how strong certain events have made you, would you allow me time to think about your request?"
Glad she had not been shot down Tonks nodded a thank you.
"Now before I escort you back to your dorm we have just one more issue to discuss, you are still having bad dreams about 'that' night?"
"They are just nightmares Sir, sometimes the potions Professor Snape tries on me, the anti-curses, they make things very real, it is not a problem."
"Have you mentioned this to Professor Snape?"
"No, he is doing all he can to help me and he has been working on these cures for so many years, I would feel silly saying that the side effects of realistic bad dreams is keeping me up at night, besides Professor Snape isn't the most approachable of teachers."
"I will talk to Professor Snape about the side effects and suggest perhaps adding a sleeping drought to help you sleep. However even if you should wake I suggest reading a book if you cannot sleep, the grounds are out of bounds at night, understand."
"Yes Professor, thank you."
At least thought Nymphadora that conversation did not end with her defending her beliefs, as they were walking back to her dorm Professor Dumbledore asked her a question.
"While you were talking with Firenze he whispered to you, may I ask what he said to make you smile as you did?"
"He told me that the giant squid was aware of my presence and was as intrigued by me as I was of him. I also named the squid and Firenze said he liked his name as he never had one before."
Chuckling Dumbledore asked what she had named him, at which she turned a pink colour out of embarrassment.
"I named him Sid, Sid the Squid, it seemed appropriate when I thought no one was listening or would every find out."
Dumbledore tried not to laugh harder but his eyes twinkled full of amusement and soon Tonks was laughing as well.
Not too happy with this story at the moment but will up load what I have written and see if I become inspired again.
SoloSea