Severus stands at the front of the classroom, an uninterested look on his face while the students cower at his command that they begin brewing their pathetic attempts at potions. Inwardly, he smirks at his apparent continued ability to strike fear into the annoying brats. Of course, that's when his wife decides to show up looking all bedraggled from a case of lack of sleep, still in her pajamas (an old, worn AC-DC t-shirt and Black Widow shorts) of all things and barely half-awake. Amused, he watches as she trudges between the students' tables, completely unaware of stares she's drawing on her. In fact, he doubts she even knows that she's somehow not in the Tower still. She then makes her way over to his cup of coffee, more than likely not knowing that she's about to consume the dark liquid and not her morning dose of Chai.

She gulps it down so quickly that he doubts she was actually able to taste it properly. Then the aftertaste comes, and she's scrunching her nose as a slight shiver runs down her spine. "Asshole," she grumbles under her breath quiet enough that only he could hear the insult. Then, loud enough that everyone can hear, "You're lucky I didn't marry you for your choice in drinks, buddy. That shit is fucking horrible. How the hell can you drink that?" Giggles and scandalized whispers come from the students watching with rapt attention at the cusses and blunt words his wife has said unashamedly.

"Darcy, what are you doing here?" he asks in an amused tone as she collapses into the chair behind the desk in a heap, unaware of the surprised but evaluating eyes of the students on them.

She sends him a look, and he conjures up a large mug of Chai for her. She drinks this one only slightly slower than the last one. Hoping that she's at least a bit more awake now that she's had a spot of caffeine to jump start her system, he poses his question again.

"Huh? What do you mean-" she trails off when she notices something. The smell of the attempted potions currently going unmonitored is foul as it wafts around the room. "Holy shit, Sev! Damnit! I told you no more doing that magical brewing thing in the morning! It always smells like shit!" She hops up and rushes to Longbottom's failure of a potion currently bubbling incorrectly, completely missing the stunned young wizard and his partner. She grabs a nearby towel and takes it off the small fire, thus interrupting its brewing process. "What the hell? Even Janey could've done better than that, and this shit isn't even anywhere near her expertise! It's too early in the morning for this."

He keeps a chuckle from escaping his lips but does cross his arms over his chest and arches an eyebrow at her dramatic reaction. "Darcy, look around."

She does, and her reaction is comical to him. She stiffens and makes a show of slowly turning on the balls of her feet to look at him with shock clear on her face. "What the fuck, Severus? It is too early for your shit," she hisses.

"You make the mistake of assuming that this is my fault. I had nothing to do with your being here, though I will admit to being part of the reason for your being here at the castle."

"Nope. You don't get to play high and mighty. Not with me. You had to have had something to-Clint! That asshole! This is still kinda your fault, you know! Ever since you connected that flew thingy to our fireplace at the Tower, everyone's decided that shoving people and shit through it is the bestest thing since Thor and Tony got into a piss fight over whose girlfriend was more badass, which might I add, is still ongoing!" She smacks her forehead.

"First of all, it is called a Floo network, and I had to install it since I can't apparate directly into the school like I can at the Tower. Secondly, the shit you are referring to was Nat's Bites, which Clint paid dearly for by having to hide each time she was within the same vicinity. Last, Clinton didn't do this as a prank. I take it you don't remember what day or month it is, yes?"

"Nope. I do know it's early ass o'clock, and that my dearest Clinton is getting his coffee switched to decaf for at least a month."

"Darcy, it's Monday, September 12, and it's 10:30 A.M. Do you at all recall me informing you that your phone would become a portkey? Actually, I'm quite impressed that you didn't notice the portkey take effect, made it to my classroom, and all while still more than 80% asleep."

"I blame Clint. Oh! So that's why I thought I had the motherfucker of hangovers when I first woke up! Eh, I just asked this random kid in those weird robes where the scariest teacher person was, cause, you know, you are you."

He shakes his head minisculy, holding in a chuckle. "Anyways, you have just ruined two students' miserable attempt at a potion. I believe that it would be safer for all involved if you come sit at my desk for the remainder of the class period so as to avoid any more accidents or go catch up on some sleep in our rooms."

"Sleep. Wait a minute...the 12th? Fuck. So...um...when's my first class?"

"You don't start until tomorrow morning at 9:30. I have arranged it so that you only have classes on Tuesday and Thursday. Now, go find our quarters and get some sleep. Valhalla knows how much you need it. Button!" With a pop, a house elf apparates into the room. "Take Darcy to our quarters." The elf nods before going over to his wife and grabbing her hand. With one more pop, the pair disappear.

Snape turns and snarls at the students gaping stupidly at him. "Get back to your pathetic attempts at a potion!" Walking over to the pair whose potion had been further ruined by his wife, he says, "Longbottom, Potter, don't bother trying to make another batch. You won't have time. While I'm sure whatever your potion had been before my wife had disrupted the procedure was dreadful as usual, she did absolutely ruin it. I'm feeling generous. Both of you receive an E for this assignment. Since you are still required to remain in class, you may start working on the essay about the ingredients required for this potion. Now, get to it."

The rest of the class is spent mostly in silence aside from the bubbling of potions and preparation of ingredients. Under his glare, none of the students are brave enough to even attempt to talk about Darcy within his classroom. Once the students have given him their so-called potions and left, he locks up his classroom before heading to their rooms since he has about half an hour before his next engagement.

Inside the privacy of his own rooms, he quickly divests himself of the ridiculous robes he's forced to wear within the halls of this castle and places them on a chair. Then he quietly walks into his bedroom to check on his wife. He finds her perfectly both cocooned in blankets but also managing to take up nearly all of his queen sized bed as she splays across it on her front with her head tilted to towards him. The sight brings a smile to his lips. Despite her being a small woman, his wife always manages to take up so much room. He sits down at the edge of the bed and reaches to lightly caress the side of her face. At his touch, she sighs and moves slightly in her sleep. He leans down and places a kiss on her cheek before standing.

He goes into his living room and pulls out the Stark phone that he always keeps in his pocket. He quickly dials Pepper.

"Pepper Potts. How may I help you?" the redhead answers.

"Hello, Pepper."

"Severus! Hi, what can I do for you? Is everything alright?"

"Everything is perfectly fine. I just wanted to inform you that it appears that Darcy is with me at Hogwarts, so as to keep you and the others from worrying about her disappearance from the Tower."

"Oh, alright. Thank you so much for letting me know, Severus. I'm glad Darcy made it safely. I will see you soon?"

"Darcy and I have weekends off, so we should be able to come visit during the weekends throughout the year. In addition, Darcy only has to teach on Tuesday and Thursday, so she'll most likely spend the majority of her free time away from the castle since there's really only so much to do around here and she's still the Head of her department, which means she'll want to be close by in case something comes up again.

"That's great! Well, we'll see you around!"

"Goodbye, Pep." With that, he ends the call. Satisfied that the world won't burn down or otherwise be destroyed without his wife to stop it, he accio's a pile of essays, makes himself comfortable, and starts grading until he needs to leave for his next batch of brats.

That night right before dinner he decides that it would be a smart idea to wake Darcy so that she can eat, which brings him back to his bedside and his wife who has barely changed position since earlier. What am I going to do with you, my love, he thinks fondly at her less than attractive position. He reaches out and softly rubs her back. "Darce, love, it's time to get up. Wake up. You need to eat dinner. Wake up," he gently coaxes. In response, he gets a series of grunts and groans.

"Food isn't that important," she grumbles. Even though he knows she can't see it, he raises an entertained eyebrow.

"Darcy, get up. We'll get dinner, and then you can come right to bed. You don't even have to change your clothes. All you have to do is go to our living room, and I'll have dinner delivered to us."

She lets out a grunt as she slowly peals her eyes open. "Ngh, where am I? Sev, what are you doing here? I thought you left days ago for Hogwarts."

"Darcy, love, you arrived here earlier today, barging into my classroom in the middle of a lesson. Don't you remember anything at all?"

"What? Shit, really? No!"

"Now, do you want to eat here or in the Hall, which is where everyone else will be dining? I do not prefer one place or the other."

"... Since I don't remember getting here, I'm gonna assume I didn't make the best first impression today, so I guess we should probably eat with the others. Maybe I can redeem myself."

"Alright. However, I must take back what I said before about not needing a change of clothes. You'll want to change into day clothes." She glances down at her pj's with a sigh. He knows better than to tell a woman what to wear, especially his wife, but he also knows that she might not want to wear such casual clothing during her first introduction to the entire school where she will be teaching.

"Yeah, you're right. If it were the team, I'd totally be okay with this, but since I'll be teaching the little rugrats, I guess I should try for something a bit more professional."

A few moments later, and the pair are walking out of his rooms hand-in-hand. Darcy had quickly slipped on a simple gray tunic and black leggings. She had also thrown her hair up in a bun with minimal makeup applied. As they stroll, he points things out and explains them as she listens with rapt attention. When they make it to their destination, the Hall is already abuzz with chatter. Instead of choosing to walk in through the main doors, he directs them to the teachers' door, which is off the back wall right behind the Heads' table. That way he hopes it will be easier to slip in, eat, and slip out quickly without giving the other teachers, who are no doubt curious about his Darcy, the idea that they want to chat.

Unfortunately, when they sit down, it's obvious that many of the students have already noticed the newest addition to the Heads' table at his side. He really can't be too annoyed at them, though, since whenever Darcy is in a room, she brightens it just with her outgoing and warm presence, which is one of the many, many things that he loves about her. Since they were a little late coming in, the food has already appeared, prompting Darcy to just tuck right in at the sight of it all. In contrast to his regular-sized portion of food, she simply piles anything that looks appetizing high onto her plate and immediately inhales an impressive fraction of it, tuning out the rest of the world as she inhales the sustenance.

He eats with an amused smirk on his pale face as he watches the other professors' faces contort into expressions of intrigue. After inhaling a minimum of a third of the stuff on her plate, Darcy finally comes up for air and drink, which she consumes at a much easier and more manageable speed. "Whew. I don't think I've eaten more than a couple pop tarts, glorious pop tarts but pop tarts all the same, in days," she says with contented awe in her tone.

"Darcy, you need to take better care of yourself. Just because you're the Head doesn't mean you get to neglect yourself in favor of work. Thankfully, with you being required to attend meals on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I know you'll actually be eating instead of forgetting," he remarks.

She sighs. "I know, Severus, I know I've become worse than even Jane, but ugh dammit. I tell myself I'm actually going to eat, but then something comes up, normally on your peoples' side, might I add, and I get so caught up in it that I don't realize it's pretty much time for dinner by then! My position is still so new that I hardly have time for anything but managing it."

"I know that with everything being so new right now that you're a very busy woman, but hopefully once everything has been given the time to actually settle in, you'll be able to delegate easily." Then, he has to ask the question that's been bothering him. "Darcy, why did you agree to teaching here if you knew you were going to be so busy?"

"Everything was fine when I agreed!" She lets out a long drag of air.

"Mrs. Snape, it is an honor to finally meet the mysterious wife of our dear Severus here. Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say that he hasn't told us much about you. In fact, many of us didn't even know he was married in the first place until he mentioned you as a candidate for a teaching position here," Minerva gently informs his wife in an almost hesitant tone. "Please tell us about yourself."

"First of all, it's actually Lewis. I kept my last name, but call me Darcy or Lewis. As for the whole not mentioning thing, I'm gonna guess that was mostly for...erm..safety reasons. Now, what would you like to know?" Darcy replies with a smile in between bites.

"I am curious as to how long you have been married."

"It's been about 3ish years now."

"I overheard you and Severus talking about a previous job. May I ask what that was?"

"Actually, I still work there. I'm the liaison between my team and...anyone they end up having to work with, government or otherwise included."

"So you work with MACUSA?"

"Bless you." Surprise flickers across Minerva's face at the blessing, so Darcy turns to him in confusion.

He holds back a chuckle as he leans in to whisper in her ear, "My dear, MACUSA is the American wizarding government. It stands for The Magical Congress of the United States of America." Understanding dons brightly on her face at his explanation.

She turns back to Minerva. "Oh! Well then, yes. I suppose I work with MACUSA on some occasions, but my main work is with other teams that work directly with my team."

"Oh, well that is exciting. Tell me, what does your team do?"

"They're kind of like Aurors, but much more specialized in who they deal with. Severus is on it, actually, but he's mainly a backup during your school year since he teaches here. Otherwise, he's one of the original members and goes on missions with them whenever needed."
Again, the eyebrows of everyone within hearing distance raise at this new knowledge.

Having finished his meal, he rolls his eyes and stands, holding out his hand to Darcy. She takes it and stands too. Just as they're about to leave the table, Dumbledore stops them. "Severus, my boy, wouldn't your wife like to be Sorted before you retire for the night?" he calls. Somehow, the hall quiets considerably at his question, probably in anticipation of which House she'll join. He smirks, already knowing that Darcy will have something to say to Dumbledore's answer.

Darcy whips around with an annoyed glare in her eyes. "Firstly, buddy, how about addressing a question concerning me to me. I am right here and can answer for myself. Severus does not need to answer for me. Now, I get it. I'm new and you don't know me, but I am right fucking here. I will not tolerate being ignored in favor of my husband when the topic involves a decision that will ultimately be decided by me. As for the whole Sorting thing, it is bullshit. I've heard all about your Houses thing, and as far as I can tell, it only leads to unnecessary, toxic prejudice between students based on their house. So, no thank you. I would not like to be Sorted."

At the awed looks spreading across the sea of faces, Severus smirks. His wife is a force to contend with, and she is ready to take Hogwarts by storm, whether it's ready or not doesn't matter.