WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS AMY GIRL THAT REVIEWS MY WORK? WHO?
Regardless, keep on reviewing, kid.
Name: You Can't Just Ask Someone If They're a Lesbian, Ash.
Summary: Ash gets into some awkward situations and revels in his hatred of romance, Jez and Morgead play a rather creative game of golf.
Listening to: Say Anything.
Note: Before FanFic can kick my arse; the lyrics last chapter were to Shoot Down The Stars by Gym Class Heroes.
BN/ And so the next instalment of this epic story is here! Bad Touch Trio references EVERYWHERE, but it's cool. Anyways, on with le story xD Tina out.
"Stop hitting on Rashel!" Jez yelled in Ash's face as she leant over him.
"But I think she's coming around."
Jez drew her hand back and slapped him, "This is for your benefit, Redfern, trust me!"
Quinn popped up next to her and said, "Yeah, Ash, leave the romance to moi."
Morgead came up on Jez's other side, exclaiming, "I don't know what we're talking about, but, she's on the move!"
By 'she' they of course meant Mary Lynette. It was day one of Operation Rekindle-the-relationship-and-get-Ash-a-girlfriend-and-maybe-even-get-him-laid-but-no-guarentees A.K.A RRAGMEGHLBNG.
Yeah, they were still working on the title.
For the first time in years, they weren't eating on the roof. They were eating on a stone bench shadowed by trees out near the playing fields so they could watch Mary Lynette... eat lunch and study trig, apparently.
The girls at their school in their year and half were largely and generally divided into two groups: Nice, friendly girls capable of murder, and attractive girls capable of multiple murders.
Mare was part of the latter, they were sat under a large tree, watching the boys play football and eating their lunches; cheese strings and tuna sandwiches and the likes, girlie things.
"Hey Ash can I have your sandwich?" Jez asked digging through his bag.
"Yeah sure, it's tuna."
"Thanks. Oh you have a cheese string awesome."
"Yeah, Dad sends them in care packages."
Ash watched Thea Harman read out horoscopes – girls and bullshit, man –and Mare half listened, eating her apple and highlighting things in her books. Ash's gaze looked with Rashel's and her eyes narrowed. She made threatening motions and Ash quickly averted his gaze. Creepy bitch.
"I don't understand why we can't watch from the roof," Ash grumbled, pushing Jez off himself and grabbing his bag from her, "Rachel – shit, Rashel – can kill us from here."
"Rashel can kill us from anywhere with that gaze," Quinn smirked, "she's really pretty."
"Yeah, yeah," Ash waved his hand, "Hot, oui, I wouldn't classify that raw insanity as pretty, though."
Quinn frowned, "Oh, and also, because if we were on the roof we couldn't do this."
In an ultimate and rare case of coordination, Quinn grabbed his arms and Morgead grabbed his legs smoothly then before he could figure out what was going on they hefted him up and began to haul the swearing teenager towards the tree.
"Jez, hold fort!" Morgead yelled. She saluted, beginning to pick at Quinn's pasta pot and read her book.
Ash stopped swearing when they reached the girls, largely because they were all glaring at him.
"If looks could kill, man." Morgead whispered in his ear.
"Casanova here has something he'd like to say," Quinn said with his heart melting smile, "if you'd please listen."
"Guys, no, I'm no-"
"Mare, Ash wants you bad." Morgead said, pushing Ash with such force that he tripped and slammed right into her. Then he spun round and sprinted off back to Jez, who was in fits on the floor with laughter, pasta pot all over the place. They high fived.
"Hey Mare." He smiled.
"What?"
"Sorry, I was aiming for Keller." He fumbled for an excuse, and tried to pretend her knee wasn't digging into his thigh and it didn't hurt or anything.
"Boy," Keller said slowly, "Y'all in a whole mess of trouble."
Galen looked up momentarily from his notebook, saw Quinn and Ash and said, "Oh look, it's the trio of idiocy, where's Morgead?"
For the guy voted most likely to save a pregnant dog from a burning building he was an asshole to the trio. There were four of them these days, so it was like, a group, not a trio any more, much to Ash's dismay.
Ash looked back down to see Mary Lynette's eyes had narrowed to slits as she glared. Ash leapt off her and behind Quinn. Within seconds, his friend was defending him.
"Now, now, Ladies," he said nervously, "I know Ash is inappropriate and a bit of a douche, but look at that face, girls. Also, to beat the hell out of him, you have to go through me, and," they were slowly backing away, "who wants to do that?"
Luckily for Ash, the bell rang, effectively saving him from his fate. Unluckily for Quinn, Rashel took him up that offer. She was wielding a stick and stalking towards Quinn when Ash sidled off to his next class, English.
Ah, young and un appreciated love.
Its funny how Ash was fine on Quinn clearly liking her, he hadn't liked her much anyway, and when Quinn was your friend, you grew to accept these things.
The funny thing was how unrequited his crush was.
Across the field rang out the sounds of a man being viciously beaten by a girl with a pointy stick.
I try to count the stars tonight, as I look up at the sky, out of nowhere it appears, and I let go of all my fea-
The headphones were wrenched from Ash's ears and he looked up to see the English Prof Mr. Jones glaring half heartedly at him.
"Redfern," he said quietly, "try to concentrate today, please."
The man had long since given up trying to tame Ash, if he wasn't so hopelessly infatuated with literature, he might stop attempting to get Ash to do work.
Ash decided to humour him and looked down at the page they were on.
Examining and comparing classic and modern literature: Romance.
Oh my god.
Is that even on the curriculum?
What?
Oh my god.
Ash hated romance, the concept, the writing, the films, the... everything. His eyes flickered around the room with boredom, and eventually settled upon Mary Lynette, she was one row across and one row up, the desk nearest to the isle. If he got a ruler he could poke her.
Ash managed to convince himself that he spent the next 50 minutes staring at the back of her head because he wanted to copy off her, and not for some other reason.
After all, he hated romance.
Right?
Right?
"Four!" Jez screamed, smashing the golf club into the concrete and sending the golf ball soaring over the safety rails and off into the distance.
"Jez, what the hell?" Morgead exclaimed, confiscating her golf club, "that was my last golf ball."
She scowled apologetically, something only Jezebel was capable of, and went over to the safety rails to see where it landed, her fingers threading into the holes in the railing, Morgead did likewise.
Quinn winced as Ash dabbed at the cuts on his face with a TCP sodden cloth, there was also what looked like a hockey stick indentation in his shoulder. The sun was dragging itself down, sending orange and red streaks around it's domain the sky. A pleasant autumn chill was in the air, detracting from the heat of the day. The leaves were dancing off the trees, and all was peaceful at Redfern Academy, baby sitting service for the towns largest family and any other kids that could afford to pay.
"Quinn, why could you like someone that isn't going to kill you, like, Thea?"
There was a loud smash and Morgead exclaimed, "Shit!"
Ash and Quinn looked up to see Jez and Morgead looking panicked.
"Quinn, your dad's car isn't that one in the car park with the red is it?"
"If you mean the red convertible, yes, and step dad."
Jez and Morgead looked at each other, and then sprinted off down the stairs, yelling and swearing and just generally praying to whoever was out there that the sun roof would come down and they'd be able to get the golf ball without detection and detention and expulsion.
"We should probably go after them," Ash yawned, crumpling up the cloth and shoving it back into the med kit they blagged from the common room, "I mean, if it is Uncle Red's car."
"If its Hunter's car there is no way in hell we are going down there, I'm not taking the rep for that."
He had a point, I mean; the man was called Hunter for Christ sakes. He had a bokken in his living room and when Ash came to stay over when his sisters were being born the man had clearly pointed out that he knew how to use the thing and would use it if Ash got in his way. Of course, that was before trips to Uncle Red's house meant seeing John 'don't-call-me-john' Quinn's awesome room, the man had the entire 9th generation Doctor Who series on box set and batman action figures, get out, badass incarnate. However, the man still kept the bokken near him whenever Ash was around, a constant glare on his face. Funnily enough, Hunter loved his sisters.
The kind of, "you three can have 50 pounds for Christmas and Ash can have 20 pounds."
Ash looked back at Quinn's bruised face, and the soft smile it held, "Thea's boring and my step sisters are fucking creepy, so don't even suggest."
"You masochistic boy, you. She is hot, though."
They got up and watched the car park as Jez and Morgead sprinted across it and began doing a little panicky dance around the car before Jez wriggled in through the shattered windshield and got the golf ball. Morgead was just sliding her out when the alarm went off and someone yelled, "MY CAR?"
The rooftop was silent for a moment.
"They're so screwed."
I just saw a shooting star, out the sunroof of my car,
Round the mountains, up the hills, I swear to god this view could kill,
And this black hole, this black hole, this black hole sucks me in.
Joy – Temposhark
Woah, it's three in the morning?
Should probably go to bed, I'll post this in the morrow.
Authors Notes: I actually like Ash, poor fucker. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS~
You have no idea how tempted I was to make Galen a chick, oh my god.
Also the theme is clearly stars when it comes to lyrics.