Me and My Emperor
Me: So I've decided that I'm going to update every other Saturday since I have so many stories and I hate having people in suspense for so long. But not this chapter since I made you wait so long. Chapter 3 should be up next Saturday.
Kida: Yeah, that's really a downer
Me: *stares at Kida* Uh, why and how are you here?
Kida: Hm? Oh, I'm here so you're not alone in you AN's and this is your mind, so of course I'm going to be here. I'm your OC
Me: Oh~ ri~ght, I forgot, sorry.
Kida: It's alright everyone forgets something at one point or another
Me: Thanks! Well, before we move to the story, a few things. One, Warty Hog, I checked your profile to find more about you, and I get that you are against plagerism, but so are tons of other people, including me. I'm not trying to be rude, but if ya have read any of my stories and not just the AN, you'd realize that I'm not writing things word for word. I'm basing my story on my favorite movies and shows while adding my own dialogue to it. Don't assume I'm taking credit for anything just because I forgot to do a disclaimer, which happens a lot.
Kida: Yeah, I mean, no one likes it when someone goes up and accuses you of stealing something
Me: Yeah, if anything you're plagerizing other people by calling yourself a plagerist hunter because other people before you called themselves the same thing and you're basically copying them
Kida: *stares at me* Uh, that made no sense whatsoever
Me: Yeah...that kinda sounded better in my head and I may or may not have forgot some bits and pieces of what I wanted to say
Kida: *sighs and shakes head* I told you not to eat that last piece of cake, it makes you lazy and you become forgetful.
Me: But it was so goooooood. And I'm forgetful all the time.
Kida: *thinks for a moment and then nods* Yeah that is true
Me: Anyway, moving on to the rest of info, my friend NobleSilverShadow wrote a new story with me in it! So read it, even though it isn't finished, because so far, it's awesome!
Kida: *says dreamily while looking at laptop* Yeah it's cool
Me: *frowns* Uh, what are you doing?
Kida: *ignores me and starts to sigh dreamily*
Me: *looks over her shoulder, widens my eyes, converts face into a disgusted look, and then pulls away quickly, shaking my head* OH, EW! GROSS! I DON'T WANT TO SEE KUZCO LIKE THAT! EW! THAT'S NASTY! I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES FOR MONTHS!
Kida: *shoots up, surprised* Huh? What?! *looks at me freaking out* Oh *shrugs, then goes back to staring at the laptop*
Me: *shakes head quickly a few times then sighs and waves hand at reviewers* Just, just read the chapter while I go bleach my eyes
Ch.2
And… I was right, Yzma is doing Kuzco's job again. She's sitting up in his Throne, wearing some sort of fan thing behind her.
Seriously, she is living proof that dinosaurs once roamed on Earth.
Kronk is standing next to her. Kronk is her right hand man. She gets a new one every decade or so.
She's listening to a commoner talk about his problem.
Kuzco comes in and rolls his eyes.
We climb up the side stairs, and when we get to the top, Yzma says, "It is no concern of mine, whether your family has, what was it again?"
"Uh, food" the commoner says.
"Well, you should've thought of that when you became peasants! We're through here. Take him away. Next!" She calls out.
I roll my eyes. Yes, because they chose to be poor.
The guards take the man away, and Yzma sighs, rubbing her eyes.
Kuzco leans against his Throne.
"The nerve of some peasants, right?" he asks, smirking a bit.
"Tell me about it" she says, then she realizes who was talking to her.
She gasps and jumps to her feet.
"Your Highness! Kida!" she exclaims.
"Your were doing it again" I say, eyebrow raised.
"Doing, doing, doing what?" she stutters.
"Oh, my job. I'm the Emperor" Kuzco says, gesturing to himself, "And you're the Emperor's advisor."
As she tries to explain, I get sidetracked by her wrinkles.
Uh, ew. Man, she needs facial work done. Badly. Wait a minute...EW! She has food in her teeth. Yuck!
"Good thinking Yzma! What do you say, Kuzco?" Kronk says, punching Kuzco's shoulder, bringing me back to reality, Kuzco as well apparently.
Kuzco jumps back, slicing his hands in the air at Kronk.
"Whoa! No touchy! No touchy! No touch" Kuzco says, "Only Kida touchy."
I roll my eyes.
Typical Kuzco.
So I punch him.
"Owie!" Kuzco whines, holding his shoulder.
"You said only I could touch you and your being a jerk" I say shrugging.
He glares at me a bit.
"Excuse me, your highnesses. The village leader is here to see you" a servant says, below us.
I forgot to mention that some servants call me royalty since me and Kuzco are so close. Yzma obviously doesn't, she doesn't like me much. I think it might be because if Kuzco dies without a wife and/or heir, I'm next in line, not her. His rule.
Kuzco smiles. "Oh, great. Send him in!"
The servant bows and leaves.
"Oh, by the way, you're fired" Kuzco says to Yzma, waving her off.
Ha, I knew it. He's finally got annoyed with her behavior, to the point where he's fired her.
She's not going to like this.
"Fired?" She exclaims, shocked, "What do you mean, fired?
"Uh, how else can we say this?" I ask to no one.
Kuzco snaps his fingers and a scribe appears.
"You're being let go" I say.
"Your department's being downsized" Kuzco says.
"You're part of an outplacement."
"We're going in a different direction."
"We're not picking up your option."
"Take your pick. We've got more" Kuzco says, smirking, as the scribe sticks the pink slip on Yzma's nail.
"But-I-you-uh" she stutters, sighs and collapse onto Kuzco's Throne.
"But your Highness, I have been nothing if not loyal to the Throne for many, many years" she says, trying to smile at Kuzco.
Yeah, I'll believe the many, many, many years part, not so much loyal, though.
"Hey, hey. Everybody hits their stride" Kuzco says.
"You just hit yours 50 years ago" I says.
"So, who's in my chair?" Kuzco asks, leaning over Yzma.
"Oh, oh, I know! Yzma! Yzma's in your chair, right?" Kronk says, like a little excited puppy.
"Very good, Kronk!" Kuzco says, pulling out a cracker. "Here, get the snack!"
He tosses the cracker at Kronk, who tries to catch it with his teeth.
"Got it!" He says, diving off the platform, after he misses the cracker.
I flinch when he hits the ground with a thud. Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
"Ok, you heard the man. Up, up, up" Kuzco says, ushering Yzma out of his Throne.
"I'm ok! I'm fine!" Kronk yells up, as Yzma gets up and mutters angrily as she walks off the platform.
"Ah!" Kuzco sighs, happily, as he flops into his Throne.
I glare at him, my arms crossed.
He notices.
"What?" he asks, confused.
"I'm still mad at you about throwing that poor man out the window" I say, my glare intensifying.
He flinches a bit and I don't blame him. Mad Kida, is a Scary Kida. Plus my glare could probably scare Satan himself.
"But, but he threw off my groove!" he whines.
I roll my eyes.
"Why do you need the village leader anyway?" I ask, not stopping my glare.
"Um" he starts to say something, but looks a little too happy when the door opens.
Something tells me I'm going to want to kill him when this is over.
End of Ch.2
Me: There we go!
Kida: So, am I really going to kill him?
Me: No
Kida: Why?
Me: One, you love him. Two, you love him. And Three, without him, we have no story
Kida: We could
Me: How?
Kida: *smirks evilly* I could take his place
Me: *sweatdrops* Uh, you love him, remember?
Kida: ….Dang it….
Me: Anyway, please review!
Kida: *smirks evilly again* Maybe if you review, we could convince her to let me kill him
Me: For the last time, WE AREN'T GOING TO KILL HIM OFF!
Kida: *crosses arm and pouts*