So Woohoo! Chapter 2, I'm thinking I'll make this into a 5 piece story.
I thought I should clear this up since I didn't mention it last chapter. In this story, Ichigo does have his powers and he can see Shinigami. It's set around the time after the fullbring arc, after the fighting was done they just left.
There were times when he would stand on the bridge and look at the river flowing below him. It called to him, taunted him. But he wasn't a river, rivers were too easy to see through, too easy to wade through, and too easy to pick apart. No, he was more like a frozen pond. Cold and hard, filled to the brim with imperfections, but he wasn't frozen the whole way through, no matter how much he wanted to be. Just like a pond in the middle of winter, he was still alive beneath the thick ice his mask was made of.
He always thought it was funny they compared him to the summer, his orange hair, his amber eyes, how warm he became when he talked or thought about those he cared about. It was funny how he compared himself to a frozen pond in winter, he compared himself to winter. His touch was dead, his eyes often cold, his emotions harsh and unforgiving, and his stature, ridged and tense. He wasn't summer, he wasn't warm, or he certainly didn't feel it.
To him Tatsuki seemed to be summer. She was what put the warmth and life back into him after being drained away. She was what melted the ice surrounding him, curing the cracks left behind. Although he would never admit it, he liked the feeling of everything melting away at her glance, at the gentle hand on his arm, even the fists that made contact with his skin. And although she would never admit it, Tatsuki liked to see the ice melting away, she liked that she was the reason he kept moving forward, the reason his eyes were that much warmer. Ichigo like to suppose she does it because she wants to, she wants to see him finally become whole or at least become the Ichigo she knew before. He like to suppose she wasn't just doing it because he was her friend and she'd feel guilty seeing him wither away.
But then again Ichigo Kurosaki supposed a lot of things. He supposed people would be sad if he jumped in the river, he supposed his family wanted to help but didn't know how, and he supposed he wouldn't be sorry if he held onto Tatsuki for a few seconds longer or instead of kissing her forehead he would kiss her lips. Sometimes he supposed she wouldn't mind if he did…
When it came to the Shinigami he supposed they saw him as a stepping stone. They would trample across the ice not a care in the world. They assumed the ice was thick enough, perhaps even frozen solid, so they never noticed the cracks that formed with each step. He supposed they just refused to see him as who he truly was because they didn't need someone who was kind and caring. They just needed someone to call on when the bridges were broken and roads washed away.
They just needed that alternate path.
He didn't mind or so he told himself. He let Rukia sleep in his closet, he let them invade in his home, in his room. The company was good, too good. Deep in his mind, the still moving water below the ice, he knew they would have to leave. This wasn't their world, they didn't belong here, and they shouldn't have gotten mixed with him.
Despite what he told himself he couldn't lie, you can't lie to a liar. He knew they thought of him as a friend, or as close one could call a friend. And despite what he might lie to others he didn't see them as friends. He wanted to stop fighting battles for their world, he wanted to stop growing close only to have them rip away again. Every time he knew they would leave but he still got close, and he hated himself for it. Nothing was worse than falling in the trap you saw being made.
That was why he never told Tatsuki or Chad or even his father that they were following him around town. He saw them wave when they thought he saw they or them yelling at each other. It was just that he didn't want to deal with the untold promises, the fake friendship. He knew no matter what they said when they talked to him, the only reason they did was because the needed his help. He supposed that was why they had given him his powers back, so they can call upon him once more in their time of need.
And he would be there just like he had been before, because he couldn't resist. He liked the feeling of being needed, the feeling of being stared at with gazes that saw him as strong. He liked being strong. He liked being the one to win the battle for their world, because that seemed so easy compared to the impossible task of winning his own.
Thanks for reading, please review.